Chapter Eleven
CARSON CROSSED THE dark room like a panther on the prowl, chin low, narrow eyes locked on his prey. Your very willing and eager prey. He was sex and love personified, with a body primed for dominance but willing to submit, and an intensely loyal heart that didn’t hold Tawny’s fears against her. He set the leather box he’d retrieved from the armoire on the bed and unlocked it. Tawny recognized the gold studs at the corners and the marred leather on the side from when she’d accidentally knocked it off the bed when they were in college.
Carson turned the box toward her, revealing a set of dice, the suede-and-cashmere flogger he’d driven her wild with, several lengths of black silk ties, rope, and cashmere-and-leather wrist and ankle cuffs. Heat and lust swirled through her like a hurricane.
“Are those—”
“Ours, pretty girl. Never used on anyone else.”
She crawled closer, her heart drumming an overwhelming beat as she reached into the box and picked up the dice, eyeing Carson. The weight of them was familiar. Comforting and arousing. One roll of the dice would tell them who was in control tonight. His brows lifted, a secret smile playing on his lips. She closed her fingers around the dice, remembering the first time they’d both relinquished their fate to them. She’d been imagining being bound to his bed, but the idea of Carson tied down electrified her.
She gazed into the box again, spotting body oils and lotions, candles, and other paraphernalia they’d toyed with, and she remembered how frightened she’d been at the sight of the flogger he’d bought as a birthday gift for her. She’d thought he was trying to get her to take their lovemaking to a darker level, and she’d been terrified of the idea of the strands of leather slapping against her skin. But she’d had the wrong idea. Carson liked to spank, but only when she was into it, and he definitely wasn’t into whipping. He was into sensuality, not hard-core domination, sadism, or masochism.
She opened her hand, the dice staring back at them like the apple in the Garden of Eden. “Can we…?”
His eyes darkened. “Tawny Bishop, do you want me to submit to you?”
She waggled her brows.
He eyed the box, and she withdrew the flogger, dragging the soft strands of the falls along the length of his arm. The muscles in his jaw tightened, and his now fully erect cock twitched. She couldn’t resist brushing the falls along his abs, licking her lips at the eager jump of his shaft.
Standing at the edge of the bed, he grabbed her wrist, drawing her arm away. “I need your mouth on me, Tabs.”
He smelled clean and manly, and she wanted his thick cock in her mouth, but she wanted something else more. “Dice,” she challenged.
His mouth closed tight, dark eyes boring into her.
She cocked her head, waiting him out.
“I want your mouth on me,” he said, more demanding this time. He held his palm up and said, “Lick.”
She did, and he wrapped his hand around his cock, giving it several slow, tight strokes. Her desire to win this battle of wills melted a little with each one. She set the dice on the bed and moved her hands between her legs. His gaze turned predatory again. Oh, how she loved that! She set the flogger down and brought her other hand to her breast, teasing her nipple as she fingered her clit. He stroked harder, watching her every move. When a bead formed on the tip of his cock, he arched his brow again. Loooord. She wanted it on her tongue. Their eyes connected, and she quickened her pace, feeling the tease of an orgasm.
“Tabby, do you really want me to come like this? Not on you? In you? With you?”
“Dice,” she said breathily, hanging on by a thread.
He stopped stroking, his thumb hovering over the bead of white.
“Don’t,” she begged.
His lips curved up in a wicked grin, and he said, “Dice, Tabby.”
She let out a breath she hadn’t realized she’d trapped. She walked on her knees to the very edge of the bed and pushed her slick fingers into his mouth. “Release my cock, please.”
He sucked her fingers, holding her gaze as he swirled his tongue around them, and held both hands up. He reached for the dice, and she grabbed his wrist.
“Not yet,” she said firmly. He’d given her what she wanted, the chance to roll the dice, but she wanted something else, too—just as much as he did. “If you come, I won’t play tonight. So don’t come, because I have to soon, and you don’t want me going home needy, do you?”
He clenched his jaw as she lay on her back and hung her head off the edge of the bed beside him. She knew he loved this position, as it allowed her to open her throat so she could take him deeper. It had taken her a number of times to learn how to do it properly, and she hadn’t done it since they’d broken up. She used to be able to make him come with a squeeze and a tug of his balls in this position, which was why she’d made the threat. She wanted him to know she intended to win the toss of the dice and remain in control. Now, as they aligned themselves, her nerves flamed. What if she wasn’t good at it anymore?
He leaned over her, one strong hand perched on the edge of the bed, as he dragged the bead over her tongue. “Just for you, Tabby,” he said in a heady voice.
His essence spread over her tongue, calming her worries as he entered her mouth slowly, giving her time to adjust to the intrusion. Her body remembered what to do—just like riding a bike—and soon he was drilling into her, one hand between her legs, the other keeping his balance. She grabbed his balls, and he groaned, slowing his pace.
“Tabby, you feel too good. I’m going to come.”
She closed her teeth around his cock, and he stilled.
“Fuck, Tabs. Seriously? How can I not come? Look at you.”
She smiled around his cock, and he began moving slowly again.
“You’re killing me, baby.”
He thrust a few more times, then grabbed the base of his cock and withdrew. He sank down on his knees and replaced his cock with his tongue, thrusting in and out, deep and then shallow, fast and then slow. She reached between her legs, needing an orgasm more than she needed her next breath, but he grabbed her wrist.
“Dice,” he commanded.
Damn. How could she argue? She sat up on her knees, and he set the dice in her hand. He wrapped his hand around hers, their eyes connecting, sending silent messages of trust and unspoken boundaries.
“Even,” she said shakily, a little nervous about taking this next step. If she rolled an even number, she gained control. If she rolled an odd number, Carson held the reins.
Carson nodded, reminding her of the first time she’d tried to take control. He’d been hesitant and uncomfortable with completely giving up control. She’d wanted it, needed it so badly, she’d refused to relent. He’d argued that he was the man, and she’d argued that he sounded like an arrogant asshole. He’d been visibly hurt by that, but it had opened his eyes to what he’d been asking of her, and with a few, more rational, arguments, he’d given in.
He set the box on the floor and waved to the hardwood, his hand fisting and unfisting. His expression hadn’t changed, but those long fingers were a giveaway that he wasn’t quite as ready as he might have thought. Knowing she wasn’t alone in her apprehension made her feel less nervous.
“One throw?” She climbed off the bed as he agreed. “Ready?”
His answer came in the form of a squeeze of her hand, a silent nod. She tossed the dice and watched them tumble across the floor. One rolled to a stop by the dresser—six—the other rolled beneath the furniture. She and Carson exchanged a glance wrought with anticipation. They both dropped to their hands and knees, peering beneath the dresser. The die sat too far back for her to see. She bit her lip. Carson frowned. And then they both laughed.
“You can reach it,” she said, smiling at her ridiculous mistake.
He shook his head. “Only you, Tabby Cat. Only you.”
Carson squinted, peering at the die. He drew it forward and scooped it into his big hand. “Looks like I’m all yours, sweetheart.”
“Really?” She sounded like she’d just won the sexual lottery. Would it be inappropriate to do a fist pump?
Carson splayed his hands, a sinful grin on his face. Tawny tapped her chin, making the most of the moment—and trying to calm her nerves. She walked around him slowly, as if she were assessing him, when really, her pulse and her thoughts were going crazy.
I won! I won! Oh no! What now?
It had been a decade since she’d done this.
“Where shall I start?” she said as saucily as she could.
Carson crossed his arms.
“Uh-uh.” She waved her finger. “Arms down, please. I want to check out the merchandise.”
“Christ,” he mumbled.
She patted his ass, cupped his balls, tweaked his nipple, doing her best to feign confidence that was slowly slipping away. Ten years was a long time, and being in control could be as nerve-racking as handing it over. It took finesse to turn a man like Carson into melted butter. She’d once mastered the skill. What if she wasn’t as good at it anymore? The scent of their lust and love hung in the air. She pushed aside her worries, and when that didn’t work, she plowed through them. Carson had never let her down; she wasn’t about to let him down now.
As she stepped in closer, their body heat spiked. She ran her hands up his neck and into his hair. Carson’s chin dropped to his chest with a hiss. He held her gaze as she slowly and purposefully slid her tongue along her lips. His cock rose to the occasion, twitching against her belly. Guess I’m not so bad after all.
He pressed his hand to hers. “You’re shaking.”
“Ten years is a long time,” she admitted. “Kiss me, Carson. I need your mouth on mine.”
THE VULNERABILITY IN Tawny’s eyes contradicted the strength in her voice, and as their mouths came together, Carson felt himself disappearing into her. He dealt with high-powered businesswomen all the time. Women who clung to control like a security blanket and put themselves on a pedestal, expecting the world to do the same simply because they were beautiful, powerful, or a public figure. Tawny was too real for any of that nonsense. She accepted control in careful steps, taking and giving and testing her own comfort zones, which was why he had pretended to see the number on the die and relinquished control. She’d wanted this control. He’d seen the hunger in her eyes—just as he’d seen that confidence waver once she had it.
They kissed and groped their way across the floor, tumbling to the bed in a tangle of limbs and passionate noises. Carson fought against his baser instincts to regain control and take what he wanted. It was a constant battle in his mind when it came to Tawny. She brought all of his primal instincts to the surface. He wanted to be her protector, to roar like an idiot and bang his chest around other men and to show her his adoration through wild lovemaking. She was the only person who brought out that side of him, and as she rolled on top of him, lacing her fragile fingers with his, he remembered the first time she’d taken control. She’d looked at him like she didn’t know where to start, very similar to how she’d looked at him moments earlier. And when she’d blindfolded him, she’d given away her nervousness with every touch, though she’d maintained what he was sure she’d thought had been a look of determination. It had endeared him toward her in a way he hadn’t expected, and it was those honest emotions that had spiraled into so much more.
She drew back from the kiss and gazed into his eyes with a lustful, playful expression.
My sweet Tabby has found her courage.
“Think you can behave while I get a few things?” she asked as she rubbed her center along the length of his cock.
“We’ll see.”
She crawled off the bed and dug around in the box. He ached to be touched, and fisted his cock, giving it a few tight tugs. She set the wrist cuffs and silk ties on the bed, and he jerked himself a few more times.
“You are a very naughty boy,” she said.
“Use the rope,” he ground out, wanting the sting that came with it when he struggled.
“I’m the boss tonight, mister.” She leaned over the bed and kissed his stomach, watching his hand slide along his cock. “Aren’t you the eager beaver? I should flip you over so you get none of that pleasure for misbehaving. Although…” Her eyes narrowed seductively. “I could watch you do that all day long.”
He swallowed hard, knowing she was building ideas in her pretty little head. “Tabby Cat,” he said sternly. “Rope, please.”
Her shoulders dropped and she grabbed two lengths of rope and stood at the end of the bed. She held one of his ankles, watching him as she wound the rope around it. A stab of insecurity he hadn’t felt in years sliced through him, mixed with the insatiable need for what she was doing. It wasn’t sexual insecurity, but because in this position he couldn’t protect or help her if she got hurt. Those fears burned inside him, and as he’d learned to do, he focused on the grating of the rope against his skin, the spreading of his legs as she tightened the tension on the second rope.
“I think I need to gag you if you’re going to be demanding, but then I’d lose out. Your mouth is worth dealing with a little bossiness.” She yanked the rope tighter, spreading his legs farther apart.
Damn, he’d missed the sensation of his skin being pulled too tight, and the sheer anticipation of Tawny Bishop. She bound one of his wrists, and when he placed his free hand up for her, she shook her head.
“Don’t stop what you were doing, but don’t come, either.”
“Tabs,” he said too harshly, but the pressure and heat were already pounding through him. “That’s going to be near impossible. It’s been too long since we’ve done this.”
She crouched beside the bed, and when she appeared again, she held a bottle of flavored lube. She drizzled the cool liquid along his cock and put her mouth beside his ear, whispering, “Do it for me.”
With a low growl, because damn it, there was nothing he wouldn’t do for her, he began stroking his cock. The slick friction sent a bolt of lightning shooting through him. Tawny dragged a length of silk over his pecs, amping up his pleasure.
“Close your eyes.”
Her tone told him she was in serious play mode. She secured the silk over his eyes, and he felt her nimble fingers securing it on the side of his head as he’d taught her. His temperature spiked with the absence of sight, and his other senses prickled to life. He heard the bottle of lube open again, and tensed, readying for the cool liquid to hit his skin, but it never did. The bed dipped beside him, and Tawny’s soft, pillowy lips pressed against his, kissing him deeply and pulling a needy moan from his lungs. Fuck, everything she did turned him inside out. When her hand cupped his balls and squeezed, her fingers slippery with lube, his body clenched and his cock jumped in his hand, reminding him she’d wanted to watch. Holy fuck, the image of her eyes on his cock and the feel of her hands as she gave his balls a tug nearly made him lose it. He gripped the base of his shaft, groaning.
She drew back, tickling his balls with her fingertips. “Too much?”
The sassiness in her voice made him smile, but he was right on the verge of coming, and he ground that smile into another sound of restraint. Her hand moved over his, circling his cock, her slippery fingers sliding between his as she guided them slowly up and over the head.
“Tabs—” His words got lost as he panted, clinging to his control, and his ability to think, by a shred.
She left him then, off the bed, silent in her disappearance. He held the base of his erection, listening intently, but the air held no clues to her whereabouts. It had been so long, he’d forgotten what it felt like to be left in this situation—and it reminded him of the night they’d broken up. His heart physically hurt with the memory. He fisted his hand in the sheet, clenched his jaw, willing it away, and then her hand captured his, drawing it up and over his head as she bound it with the rope, distracting him from his distress. The feathery falls of the flogger glided up his leg, over his hip, and across his chest, bringing rise to goose bumps. Lower, baby. Drag that sucker along my cock like your hair. As quickly as it had touched his skin, it was gone again.
Christ, she knew him too well to satisfy him that easily.
The room was quiet again, save for the sound of his own harsh breathing. Then her hot mouth was on his balls, sucking one in completely. The bed dipped between his legs, and her slippery fingers touched his ass, teasing the rim.
“Holy fuck, Tabby.”
Her other hand gripped his cock, stroking him as she sucked his balls, and she pushed a finger into his ass. He cried out with the invasion, but she didn’t relent, seeking the spot that would make him come like a fountain. She sucked harder, stroking him tight and fast. Lust spiked down his spine, pooling at the base and spreading to his groin like a five-alarm fire as she breached his rim over and over again. He struggled against the ropes, trying to bite back his orgasm, but there was no relief, and when she hit the perfect spot, his legs flexed. Sparks zinged through him as he exploded in streaks of hot come across his chest and stomach. She continued licking and sucking as he writhed beneath her control, moaning and grunting through the very last of his release.
And then she disappeared again, leaving him alone to listen and try to calm his breathing.
He might be alone in the room, but for the first time in a decade, he knew he wasn’t truly alone.