Chapter Nine
TAWNY DECIDED NOT to read the letters yet, and to take some time to think about them. They didn’t have time to finish going through the boxes before leaving for Dylan’s, but she was no longer afraid to do so. She knew she could get through anything with Carson there to support her. If she cried, he’d hold her. If she laughed, he’d laugh with her. And if she just needed a moment—or a day—of introspection, he’d give her that, too. She wished she’d clung to that belief in college, instead of running scared.
When Barton arrived to drive them to Dylan’s, he stepped inside, bringing his woody, leathery scent with him. He handed Carson a big package wrapped in gold paper. With a friendly smile and a professional nod, he went to the curb and waited by the car.
Carson’s lips tipped up as he handed the gift to Tawny. “For you, my beautiful girl.”
“Carson…?”
He winked, and her stomach fluttered. “Open it, baby.”
“What have you done?” she mumbled to herself. The wrapping was so pretty, she didn’t want to tear it. She carefully lifted the tape from the edges and slid the box from the paper.
He took the wrapping from her hands and lifted the lid, revealing a stunning pair of black leather knee-high boots with Burberry’s signature beige, brown, and red–check trim around the calf and a gorgeous gold buckle. They matched her outfit and her camel-colored coat perfectly.
“I can’t let my girl go around the Big Apple with ankle boots when there’s eight inches of snow on the ground.”
“Carson, I can’t accept these. They cost more than my airfare to get here, and how do you even know what size I wear?”
He wrapped his arms around her, grinning down at her. “You’re welcome.”
He pressed his lips to hers, obviously pleased with himself for skipping right over her question.
One blissful kiss and she melted against him. “This was sweet of you, but you don’t have to buy me things.”
He led her to the couch and knelt before her, taking off her ankle boots and helping her on with the new ones. The soft leather felt heavenly.
“Perfect fit.”
“Thank you, but really, you don’t have to—”
He silenced her with a glare, boxing her in with one hand on either side of her. His biceps strained against the sleeves of his dark T-shirt as he leaned in until his lips nearly touched hers. “What I do for you will never be driven by what’s expected of me, so please don’t say that again, okay? I want to give you the world, but I won’t, since you seem to have a thing about receiving gifts. I’m starting slow, getting you used to the idea.” He kissed her softly. “And one day.” He kissed her jaw. “You’ll stop wondering why.” He kissed her neck, making her breathe harder. “Because you’ll know.” He pulled the collar of her sweater down and kissed her breastbone. Then he gazed into her eyes again and said, “That everything I do for you is done out of love.”
At a loss for words, she wound her hands around his neck and kissed him. His chest came down over her and his arms circled her body, holding her so tight she could barely breathe.
“Thank you,” she said as they drew apart. “They’re elegant, and beautiful, and almost as divine as you.”
He chuckled and gave her a chaste kiss. “Come on, Tabs. I’m looking forward to introducing you to my family and seeing if you’re still worried other people will find out about all those dirty things we do together.”
“You haven’t even started doing dirty things to me yet,” she said with a smirk.
“Soon, baby,” he said cockily.
Her nerves rattled to life again. “Hold on. Do your brothers know what we used to do?”
“I told you I would never share what we did with anyone,” he said in his most serious voice. “Especially my brothers. Brett has no filter. God only knows what would pop out of his mouth at the wrong time.” His hand circled her waist as they headed to the coat closet. “Do you think I want them visualizing you in the positions I’m going to get you in later?”
Oh my. “How am I supposed to make it through the evening with that in my head?” She stopped walking and tugged him down by his shirt so she could look into his eyes. “Do not get me hot and bothered before we get there, or I will worry about it.” She softened her tone at the amusement in his eyes. “And thank you again for the boots. I love them. It was thoughtful of you to buy them for me. I’m just not used to people buying me things, but they’re gorgeous, and they feel like they were made for my feet.”
“Kind of like how my cock is made for your—”
“Carson!” She swatted him, loving his playful side as much as she loved his naughty side.
“Oh,” he said, feigning wide-eyed innocence. “You meant no dirty talk, either?” He grabbed her ass. “I thought you only meant I should refrain from touching you in a sexual way.”
He chuckled and helped her on with her coat.
“Don’t tease me. This feels like finals week, where I know in my head that I understand the material, but the wrong answer could obliterate all my hard work.”
He tugged her against him and framed her face with his hands. “Tabs, take a deep breath.”
She did, and she focused on his serious expression rather than her racing heart.
“Listen to me. You’ve spent years trying to outrun us, and you couldn’t do it any more than I could. No matter what anyone says tonight—and my brothers will probably make sexual comments and innuendos, because they’re guys and that’s what they do—they’re only fishing, okay? Mick knows I fell hard for you in college, because he helped me pick up the pieces after you married Keith, but that’s where it ended. Nobody knows what we did, what we do, or what we might do in the future except you and me.” He brushed his thumb over her jaw. “I promise you, if something inappropriate is said, I will intervene. I will protect your privacy, and our intimacy, with everything I have. Okay?”
“Yes.” She swallowed the unexpected sadness bubbling up inside her.
“What is it? Did I make you even more anxious?”
She shook her head. “No. I wish I had told you how I felt all those years ago. And I’m so sorry I hurt you.”
“Don’t worry, beautiful. I plan on making up for lost time, and then some.” He swatted her ass. “Let’s go. If we’re too late they’ll think we were having sex.”
Her eyes widened and he laughed.
“I was kidding, but we could”—he looked toward the stairs—“beat them to the punch.”
She dragged him out the door by his sleeve. “Down, boy.”
“Hm, I see a little role-playing in our future.”
AS THEY WAITED for the elevator in Dylan’s building, Tawny’s nerves flared. She tucked her hair behind her ear, smoothed her coat over her sweater, fidgeted with her earring.
Carson reached for her hand. “Still nervous?”
The elevator arrived and they stepped inside. She held up her finger and thumb, indicating a little as he pressed the button for Dylan’s floor.
As soon as the doors closed, his mouth came down over hers. He trapped her against the wall, pinning her hands above her head as he deepened the kiss. He was deliciously hard all over, rubbing his body against hers. She felt every swipe of his tongue all over her body, and her worries drifted away.
“I’ve got you, babe. I’ve always got you,” he said into her ear seconds before sinking his teeth into her neck.
“Oh God. Carson—”
He kissed the tender spot on her neck and lowered her hands, kissing each of her wrists. “Don’t ever be ashamed of what you feel, baby.”
“I asked you not to get me hot and bothered,” she said breathlessly, trying to regain control of her runaway desires. But when she looked up at him, all she saw was his mouth, and she wanted more steamy kisses. “Now I’m going to be thinking about making out with you, and they’ll be able to tell.”
He tipped her chin up, his eyes as serious as the day was long. “It’s normal to want your partner, in public or in private. You were going to worry anyway, Tabs. We both know that. I would rather you had something real to think about than worry for the sake of worrying. I’m going to prove to you that what you feel is normal if it’s the last thing I do.”
“I know it’s normal to think about you. But it became too consuming before.” She pressed her hands to her chest. “My heart is beating so fast.”
“Isn’t it better to be thinking about kissing me than worrying what anyone else thinks?” The elevator doors opened and they stepped into the hall. Carson didn’t head for Dylan’s apartment. He stood outside the elevator holding her hand and gazing into her eyes.
Making sure I’m okay.
“It is better,” she admitted.
“Good, because they’re going to think you want me no matter what. I’ve never introduced them to a girlfriend.” When she opened her mouth to argue that point, he cut her off. “I don’t date, remember?”
She blew out a breath. “No pressure there. The only girl they’ve met? Geez! We should have had you bringing a string of women around so they’d be used to it.”
“Don’t even…”
She smiled with his warning. He was so loyal, so careful, so…mine.
“Are you ready to think rationally?” he asked.
“Almost,” she said with a laugh.
“Good, because I need your analytical brain to hear this. You didn’t react like that when we were out yesterday around strangers, which makes me think that what sets you into panic mode is feeling out of control around people who know us.”
She narrowed her eyes, realizing what he’d done. “You were testing me. Doing research! You totally kissed me in the elevator to see how I’d react.”
“‘A detective with his murder mystery, a chemist seeking the structure of a new compound, use little of the formal and logical modes of reasoning. Through a series of intuitions, surmises, fancies, they stumble upon the right explanation, and have a knack of seizing it when it once comes within reach,’” Carson said.
He was quoting Gilbert Lewis, a chemist whose contributions to valence bond theory shaped modern theories of chemical bonding. She loved that he knew she’d get that reference. God, she’d missed this back-and-forth and his intimate knowledge of what made her tick.
“I cannot believe you seized your moment in the elevator. You’re…” She glanced down the hall, searching for the right words. “You’re the only person in the world who gets me, Carson. I should be mad at you, but how can I be? You’re totally, frustratingly right. Why have I never put those things together before? How could I have missed something so rudimentary?”
“Sometimes we’re too caught up in the outcome to see how we got there,” he said thoughtfully.
“If your theory is true, how do we fix it? What if I panic around your brothers like I did in college?”
“You won’t.”
“How can you be so sure?” she protested, wanting assurances she knew he couldn’t provide.
“Because this time you’re not trying to handle any of your feelings alone.” He pulled her closer, his embrace calming her erratic pulse. “We’ve got this, Tabs. Trust me.”
She was wrong.
He was the only person who could provide the assurance she needed.
WHEN CARSON WAS in college, he’d fantasized about spending time with Tawny and his brothers. He’d put those thoughts away long ago, but watching his brothers fall in love, and spending time with them and their significant others, had brought back all the what-ifs. Now, as they stood outside Dylan’s door, he hoped like hell his brothers would keep their comments tame.
When Brett answered Dylan’s door, the look on his face told Carson that hoping wasn’t going to get him very far. He held Tawny a little tighter.
“Bro!” Brett said overenthusiastically. Like all the Bad brothers, he was a couple inches over six feet tall, with dark hair and dark eyes—that were currently sliding down the length of Tawny’s body.
Carson grabbed Brett, an ex-cop who outweighed him by about twenty pounds of muscle, and hauled him into a manly embrace, speaking sternly, and quietly, into his ear. “Look at her like that again and I will kill you.” He released him with a shove, sending Brett stumbling back.
“Whoa, dude. I was just admiring how exquisitely Tawny had grown up.” Brett schooled his expression and lowered his chin, looking at Tawny with a friendly—instead of lustful—grin. “Tawny Bishop. You’ve grown up to be a gorgeous woman. What are you doing with this guy?”
Carson rolled his eyes as Brett embraced her. Tawny laughed, thank God.
“Hi, Brett,” she said. “Other than that scruff on your chin, you haven’t changed one bit since you were a kid.”
Brett lifted his arms and flexed his biceps, which Carson had to admit were bigger than life. The bastard. He had a body like Henry Cavill in Superman, but he hadn’t gotten those muscles driven by a need to be strong. Brett was like a stick of dynamite, full of anger that had developed after they’d lost Lorelei. It had clung to him like a second skin. He worked out to work off his demons.
Brett winked at Tawny. “I beg to differ, sweetheart. I’m bigger, smarter, and when you get tired of Carson, I’ll show you that I’m manlier, too.”
“Watch it, little brother,” Carson warned.
Tawny slid an arm around Carson’s waist and said, “Guess you didn’t get the memo. Real men don’t have to prove it.”
Holy hell. She pulled that off like she was made of steel. The only hint Carson had that she was nervous was the soft laugh that bubbled out afterward. Damn, he loved her.
“Whoa!” Tiffany peered around Brett, her blond hair tumbling over her shoulders. “Someone got told off with class.”
Brett chuckled. “All kidding aside, it’s really good to see you again, Tawny. I’m glad you’re here.” He eyed Carson. “And by the look on my brother’s face—”
“Brett,” Carson warned.
“What?” Brett took a step back as they walked inside and closed the door. “I was going to say that you were glad, too.”
“Okay,” Tiffany said, pulling Brett out of the way. She and Amanda, Mick’s wife, sidled up to Tawny with welcoming smiles. “That’s enough Brett for now. Ignore him. I’m Tiffany, Dylan’s girlfriend, and this is Amanda, Mick’s wife, and we’re really glad you’re here.”
“Thanks,” Tawny said. “It’s nice to meet you both.”
“Don’t worry. You’ll get used to Brett,” Amanda assured her. “He comes on strong, but he’s just marking his territory. Now that he’s puffed his tail feathers, he’ll calm down. Here.” She reached for Tawny’s coat. “Let me take that.”
“Thank you.”
As Tawny shrugged off her coat, Carson embraced Tiffany, who whispered, “She is stunning! Where have you been hiding her?”
In my heart. “Tawny and I went to college together,” he explained, and bent to hug Amanda. “Where are Dylan and Mick?”
“I’m right here,” Dylan said as he came down the hallway.
“My hubby got called out of town for a meeting,” Amanda said. “One of his celebrity clients got herself into a sticky situation. He said he was going to call you once he figured out when he’d be back in town so he could meet Tawny.”
“Great. If you need anything while he’s gone, let me know,” Carson offered.
“Brett and I’ve got her covered, too.” Dylan patted him on the back. “Good to see you, bro.”
“You have all these overprotective guys to look forward to,” Amanda said to Tawny. “Having grown up with only one sister, it’s wonderful the way these guys just scoop you up and make you part of the family.”
“I can only imagine.” Tawny looked adoringly at Carson.
Dylan turned a charming smile on her. “Ah, the elusive Tawny Bishop. I thought Carson had made you up back in college. It’s nice to meet you.” He embraced her, quick and friendly. Then he settled a hand on Tiffany’s back and nuzzled her neck. “I see you met my beautiful Summers.”
“Hello?” Amanda said, heading for the kitchen. “I’m without my man tonight, remember? Maybe you should take that into the bedroom.”
“Come on, Tawny, let’s get you a drink.” Tiffany looped her arm in Tawny’s, dragging her away from Carson.
He held on to her fingers as long as he could.
“I’ll bring her back,” Tiffany promised.
Tawny glanced over her shoulder and he mouthed, Are you okay?
She smiled and nodded.
“Dude, you’ve been stripped of your woman.” Dylan headed for the living room, where Brett was watching the pre-game show. “Take your coat off and chill.”
Carson put his coat over the back of a chair. He heard the girls giggling and sank down to the couch beside Dylan, watching Tawny. If she was nervous, he couldn’t tell.
“Relax,” Dylan said in a hushed voice. “She’s in good hands. So, what’s the deal?”
“The deal is, he’s finally getting laid,” Brett said.
“Do me a favor,” Carson said to Brett. “Watch the sex talk around Tabs, okay?”
Brett and Dylan exchanged a curious look.
“Tabs?” Brett arched a brow.
Christ, how could he have forgotten that Brett would ask about every little thing? He ground his teeth together and squared his shoulders. Brett might have him in size, but Carson had him in speed, and Brett knew it. Carson wasn’t a fighter, but he had no patience for bullshit where Tawny was concerned. “A nickname from school. Don’t push, Brett. I’m not messing around, okay? Tawny’s important to me, and if you fuck this up, I’ll fuck you up.”
Brett held up his hands in surrender. “Hey, I want you to be happy. I was kidding. I’ll tone it down as best I can.” He glanced in the kitchen, where the girls were leaning head to head, talking and laughing. “Just tell me one thing. Were you two a thing in college?”
The question caught Dylan’s attention. Carson weighed his answer carefully. He didn’t want to give Brett any fuel for his fire, but he also wanted them to know exactly how important she was to him.
“We’ve always been a thing,” he finally answered. “But not the type of thing you think, so respect her. Got it?”