CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO
Indiana
I’ve had the most amazing week. It saddens me to think it’s coming to an end. I hope Carter asks me to come back up here again, because I’ve loved every minute of my time with him. This place is absolutely beautiful.
When he’s not working, and we’re not having sex on every surface of his apartment, he’s been taking me everywhere, showing me the sights of Newcastle and the surrounding areas. It’s surprising how much better it is when you see things through the eyes of a local. He knows all the best places. I can tell how proud he is of his hometown. I’ve only been here a week and I’m in love with it too.
We’ve been for long strolls along the beach every afternoon, and last night he took me to the most amazing waterfront restaurant at the Newcastle Marina, called Rocksalt. He ordered us a grilled seafood plate for two. It was mouth-watering. I could easily get used to living here.
Even though Carter’s been working a lot, he’s been trying his hardest to come and see me in-between clients, but he’s been pretty flat out. He can usually only stay a few minutes when he pops upstairs, but I appreciate him making the effort. He makes sure to spend the whole of his lunch breaks with me though.
I’ve offered to cook for him, but he insists on taking me to some of the local cafés for lunch. Today though, it was something different. We had a picnic on the beach. He bought some fresh prawns from the fish market, and we ate them straight out of the white paper wrapping. They were divine, just like my company. I didn’t think it was possible to love him anymore than I already do, but with each passing day I seem to fall even harder.
To be honest, I’m kind of glad I haven’t had to do much because I’m exhausted. My headaches seem to be getting worse and I’m feeling tired all the time. I’ve been hiding it from him. I don’t want him to worry more than he already is. He’s trying to play it down, but I see the unease in his eyes when he looks at me. He’s always checking on me or asking how I’m feeling, so I know he’s concerned.
After our picnic, he walked me back upstairs to his apartment before heading back to work. The first thing I did was collapse onto the sofa. I’ve been using our time apart to take naps.
His appointments can take anywhere from one to three hours, so he’s none the wiser that I’m usually sleeping while he’s not here. It gives me the pick-me-up I need for when he’s around, but it’s also a welcome relief from the throbbing pain in my head. I’m over it. I’m sick of feeling so blah all the time.
I’m woken by tiny kisses being rained all over my face. “Hey, beautiful,” Carter says when I open my eyes. “Are you feeling okay?” I can see the anxiety on his face so I smile hoping to ease his mind.
“I’m fine,” I reply when he moves back so I can sit up. “I must’ve fallen asleep. What time is it?”
“4:00pm.” Shit it was just after one when we arrived back from lunch. I’ve been asleep for almost three hours. “I was gonna take you for a spin on my jet-ski, but if you’re not up to it …”
“You have a jet-ski?” I ask excitedly. He sits down beside me on the sofa, pulling me onto his lap.
“I do.” He smiles before placing his lips against my cheek. “I usually take it out on the weekends. Jax has one as well, so we go out together when he’s up here. Since we’re going back to Sydney tomorrow, I thought we could go out now, if you’re game.” The thought of leaving here tomorrow makes my heart feel heavy. Carter’s been wonderful and made me feel so welcome. I want to get as much in as I can before I leave. I’ve never been out on a jet-ski before.
“I’m game,” I tell him as I snake my arms around his neck.
“You sure you’re up to it?” he asks, unease masking his voice. I wish he’d stop worrying about me.
“Of course. Let’s do this,” I reply, standing and reaching for his hand.
“I love how easy-going you are,” he says with a sweet smile as he picks a bag up off the ground and passes it to me. “I bought you a wetsuit and life jacket. The water’s pretty cold this time of year.”
“You did? Thank you,” I reply beaming, taking the bag from him and looking inside. He spoils me. The wetsuit is black with large patches of pink throughout, matching the life jacket perfectly. I love that he chose my favourite colour. I’m touched by his thoughtfulness. Getting up on the tips of my toes, I brush my lips against his.
“Go get changed while I hook the trailer up to the car,” he says leaning down and kissing my forehead. “I’ll meet you downstairs when you’re ready.”
••••
I had the most amazing time on the jet-ski and being wrapped around his sinful body as he sped across the water. The smell of the salty sea, the sun on my face and the wind in my hair, made me feel invigorated. We stayed out there for close to two hours. Carter took it easy as we navigated through the waves. I’m pretty sure that was for my benefit. I was grateful.
He didn’t let loose until we reached the calmer water. Thankfully, it was a nice day, so it wasn’t choppy. We did hit one bump that made my face screw up from the sudden jolt to my aching head. Surprisingly though, there’s something about being with him that seems to lessen the constant pain in my brain. Maybe I’m just so lost in him I don’t focus on it so much. Maybe it’s something else.
Before coming back into shore, Carter stopped about a kilometre out to sea. He moved me to the front of the jet-ski and wrapped me in his arms while we sat and watched the beginning of the sun setting on the horizon. It was majestic. We would’ve stayed out longer but it was starting to get dark. He’s promised to take me out again next time I come up. Hopefully that will be soon.
When we headed back to the apartment, Carter sent me upstairs to run a hot bath, while he washed down the jet-ski before stowing it in the small garage at the rear of the shop.
The warmth of the bath water is welcomed after being out on the ocean in the cold wind for the past few hours. I’m lying back relaxing and reflecting on the wonderful time I’ve had whilst I’ve been here, when Carter enters the bathroom. Opening my eyes, I find him stripping out of his wetsuit. “Hope you don’t mind some company,” he says smirking as he stalks towards me.
“Not at all,” I reply as my eyes rake over his magnificent body. He really is beautiful, and all mine. I’m one lucky girl. I lean forward so he can hop in behind me, and sigh contently when he wraps me in his big strong arms.
“You feeling okay?” he asks placing a soft kiss on my shoulder. I wish he’d stop asking me.
“I’m feeling wonderful. I’ve loved every minute of my time here with you,” I tell him, turning my head and brushing my lips against his cheek.
“I’m happy to hear that,” he smiles. “Does that mean you’ll come back?” The hopeful look I see on his face melts my heart.
“If you’ll have me, I’d love to come and stay with you again.”
“Next week? I thought maybe we could stay in Sydney for the weekend, so you could spend time with your dad. I could bring you back with me Sunday night.” I’m thrilled he wants me back here so soon.
“It sounds wonderful.” I turn my body to face him, wrapping my legs around his waist. “But, I don’t want to put you out. I don’t want to disrupt your life any more than I already have. You’ve been so good to me.”
“Hey,” he says cupping my face. “Having you here hasn’t disrupted my life at all. Only enhanced it.” His words make me smile.
“I love you,” I reply bringing my mouth down on his. I love him with every fibre of my being. He’s been a wonderful distraction from what lies ahead, and has taken such good care of me. I hate that we have this illness looming over us, but just having him around helps more than he’ll ever know.
“Please say you’ll come back with me next week then,” he whispers against my mouth as he grasps my hips, pulling me forward so our bodies are flush.
“Okay. I’d love that.”
“That’s my girl.” I feel his lips curve into a smile against my mouth. I love being his girl. Threading my hands into his hair, I deepen the kiss. Carter groans as he slides his tongue into my mouth. “Jesus, I wanna fuck you so bad right now,” he growls.
“Then do it,” I say breathlessly.
“I can’t, I don’t have a condom.”
“I’m on birth control, Carter,” I say pulling back to look at him. “I’ve only ever been with one other person, and we never had unprotected sex. I want to experience that with you.”
“I’ve never had unprotected sex either,” he sighs, “but it’s too risky. I can’t take that chance.” His words sting. Is the possibility of having a child with me so repulsive?
“Fine,” I say trying hard to mask my hurt, but failing miserably. I lift myself off his lap and go to turn, but he holds me still.
“Don’t,” he growls. “Don’t you dare pull away from me, Indi. You know about my past. You know I’d never want to bring an illegitimate child into this world, and risk him being tainted like I was.”
“Carter,” I say, wrapping my arms around his waist. “I’m sorry. It’s just …”
“Shhh,” he whispers, brushing his lips with mine. “Don’t think for a minute that I don’t want to experience that with you, because I do. I just can’t take that chance.”
“You could always pull out before you come.” I raise my eyebrows hopefully. I want this with him.
“Fuck,” he groans taking me in his arms again. “You drive a hard bargain, babe.” When his hands slip below the water and between my legs, I know I’ve won. Tilting my head back, I moan as his fingers circle my clit. “I’ve always wanted to feel what it was like to go bare back,” he whispers against my neck as his tongue trails a path up to the sensitive part behind my ear. “Only with you. It will only ever be you, Indi,” he breathes, gripping my hips, lifting me up slightly before pulling me back down and impaling me with his dick.
“Ohhhh, yes,” I moan as he fills me completely.
“Sweet Jesus,” he groans as his eyes roll back in his head. “You feel like fucking heaven.”
Ditto Mr. Reynolds. Ditto.
••••
Carter ordered some takeout Chinese food when we got out of the bath. After we eat, we end up snuggling on the sofa; me between his legs, my back to his front with my head lying on his chest. His fingers make lazy circles against my temples. It feels amazing. I love how he cares for me.
“How are your headaches going today?” he asks.
“They’re okay,” I lie. “Manageable.”
“Do you want me to get you some headache pills?”
“No. What you’re doing with your fingers is fine. The pills don’t really help anyway.” My confession makes him exhale a loud breath.
“I know you’ve been putting it off, but we really need to go over that information the doctor gave you. We might have some questions for him tomorrow.”
“I guess,” I sigh. He’s right. I have been avoiding it. I didn’t want it to spoil my time here with him.
“Where is it?” he asks lifting me off his chest so he can stand.
“Bottom of my suitcase.”
When he sits back beside me he opens the envelope, pulling out all the paperwork. He passes me half, keeping the rest for himself. I look over at him and smile. “What?” he asks shrugging. “I’m not letting you read them all on your own. I’ll read these, and then we’ll swap notes.” God I love how invested he is in this.
“I just love you. That’s all,” I say leaning over and brushing my lips with his. “You’re amazing.”
“I love you too, Indi. So much.”
An hour later, I place my pile on the coffee table. All this reading is making my headache intensify. It’s very daunting and way too much information to take in. “You okay?” he asks. His brow furrows as he studies me.
“Yeah. I just need to take a break. The reading is hurting my head.”
“Come here,” he says pulling my head down on his lap. “Close your eyes. I’ll keep going.” I sigh when he uses his free hand to massage my scalp.
“Mmmm. That feels nice.”
I wake bathed in darkness. I’m in bed. Rolling over I reach out for Carter, but he isn’t beside me. Looking at the bedside clock, I see it’s 1:30am. Throwing back the covers, I go in search of him. When I enter the main room I smile. He’s still sprawled out on the sofa reading. Papers strewed all around him, a pen between his teeth and a notepad on his lap. Guilt consumes me. I feel bad that he’s still up doing this while I’ve been asleep.
“Hey,” I say walking towards him. “Come to bed.”
“I’m nearly done,” he replies, looking up at me and smiling. He picks up the notepad off his lap and jots something down before placing it beside him. He opens his arms when I reach him, pulling me down onto his lap.
“How are you feeling now?”
“Better,” I say snuggling into him. I look down at the notepad and see it’s filled with writing. “What’s all this?” I ask.
“Just some questions for the doctor and things I need to buy once the treatment starts.”
“What things?”
“Just some special food you’ll need … stuff like that. You have to be careful what you eat during the treatment. They advise to eat healthy foods and stay away from sweet things, but not me, of course.” I laugh at his comment.
“Just let them try and keep me away from you.”
“I’d never let that happen, babe,” he chuckles, placing his lips on my cheek. “Since the radiation will be going straight to your head, you’ll have to been extra careful with your oral hygiene. It can affect your teeth and gums, so you can’t eat anything too hot or too cold. I’ve made a list of all their suggestions for you to go through. We have an amazing Growers Market up here every Sunday. They sell all fresh produce. When the treatment starts we can go there and stock up on all your favourites.” Tears rise to my eyes. What did I do to deserve someone so wonderful?
“Thank you,” I sniffle as I wrap my arms around his waist. I can’t even put into words how amazing he is. “Leave the rest, I’ll go over them in the morning before we leave. I need you in bed with me.”
“You don’t have to ask me twice,” he says, standing with me still in his arms. “There’s no place I’d rather be, than beside you.” Flicking off the light switch with his elbow as he passes, his lips capture mine as he carries me back to bed.