I must have fallen asleep for a little bit, because when I wake up, it’s to find Cas climbing back into bed with me.

“Ugh,” I groan, stretching my arms out wide. “I should probably get going.”

“Nope,” he corrects me. “You’re staying right here.”

“Cas,” I sigh. “I have to get back to Noah.”

“Taken care of.” He pulls up the covers and gathers me into his arms. “I just got off the phone with Jewel. She’s more than happy to stay the night at your place with him.”

“But I —”

“It’s settled,” he says firmly, interrupting me. I open my mouth to protest again, but he gives me a look that’s both stern and sexy, so I stop.

I shouldn’t let Jewel do this, even though I’m sure she’ll take good care of my son. I should get back to Noah.

But God, it’s been so long since I’ve been able to feel like anything but a mom and, frankly, a cash-poor loser.

It’s been so long since I’ve just felt like a woman. A sexy, desirable woman, even. And the way Cas Watkins looks at me, the way he touches me — I realize it’s something I’ve been needing so much, for way, way too long.

With a sigh, I sink back against him and allow myself to close my eyes and luxuriate in the feeling. Just for a little while.

God, if only it could always be like this with a man.

Cas’s hands begin to roam over me again now, and even though I thought I was completely exhausted, his touch reawakens my desire. He moves over me, then reaches for his jeans again, but I stop him.

This is crazy, I know. But I want it anyway.

“I’m on the pill,” I breathe. “If you think you’re clean.”

I’ve been on the pill for years. Wishful thinking, mostly. It’s not like I’ve actually used the protection. A hundred times, I’ve told myself I should just admit that I live in a sexual desert and stop refilling the prescription.

But right now I’m grateful for it. I want to feel Cas inside me. I want to feel us together, skin on skin.

“I don’t do unprotected sex,” he tells me. “I don’t like surprises.” I think that means he’s refusing, but then he says, “So yeah, I’m clean.” His eyes bore into mine, dark and stormy with desire. “You sure?”

The ‘surprises’ line hits me a little in the gut. Something must change in my expression, because Cas’s face turns gentle.

“Look, if you’re not sure, it’s completely fine,” he murmurs. “Don’t do this just because you think I want it. Like I said, I’m not in the habit.”

Shit. I feel like I’m wrecking this moment. “No,” I say, reaching down for him. “I’m sure.” My hand slides around his thick cock, gripping it. It’s the first time I’ve actually touched him there. He feels amazing, the heft and weight of him making the rising ache between my legs even more painful. I’m dying to feel him inside me again.

Cas closes his eyes for a second as I begin to slowly stroke him. “Fuck,” he hisses. “You’ve got me on the goddamn edge already, Jen.” I angle my hips upward, and he presses the thick head of his shaft against my opening. Closing my eyes, I exhale slowly as he joins us together, skin to skin. God, the heat of him inside me like this… it’s unbelievable. He’s perfect, it’s all so perfect, that for a second I just freeze and marvel at what it feels like to have him inside me, filling me so completely.

We begin to move, a rhythm that starts out slow but quickly becomes more driven, more frenetic. I can feel the two of us begin to climb higher and higher together, Cas’s moans joining with mine. Our bodies need this, with an urgency I can tell is the same for both of us.

“Cas,” I moan.

“I know, baby,” he croons at me. “I know. Come with me, baby.”

“Oh, God, I’m so close. Oh, Cas, please don’t stop, I’m… Oh God YES!”

I shatter just as he empties himself inside me with a roar, our bodies shuddering together. For a few moments, I sort of lose all sense of my body’s borders, like my body is Cas’s body and both of us have expanded out into the universe. When I finally start coming back to my senses, Cas is kissing me deeply, our bodies entwined, with him still inside me.

He’s whispering things about how gorgeous I am, and how sexy I am, and for a few minutes, I just feel so incredibly happy — like seriously, probably the happiest I’ve ever felt in my whole life. The only thing that comes close is the day I gave birth to Noah, but even that happiness was ringed with fear and worry and oh my God how in the hell am I qualified to be somebody’s mother? But this… right now… is just bliss.

The sex, of course, is amazing. Sex with Cas is so much better than it’s ever been with anyone else that I’m a little worried he might have ruined me for future boyfriends — assuming I ever manage to have a boyfriend again. But it’s more than that. What just happened between us feels… intimate. It feels like it was more than just sex, more than just fucking.

It’s not, though. I know better than to let myself imagine things that aren’t there. I’m probably just so sex-starved after all this time that I’m imagining things.

But he did ask me to stay the night. Practically insisted on it.

Stop it, Jenna. Stop reading into it. Cas could have any woman he wanted to, practically. Just because he’s choosing me tonight doesn’t mean anything. I need to just enjoy it for what it is: a much-needed vacation from reality.