“Mommy!”

Noah opens the door just as I’m coming down the hall to Jewel’s apartment. He runs up to me, his face all sticky with what looks like grape jam. “Jewel let me make my sandwich all by myself!”

As we reach the apartment, Jewel appears in the doorway. She smiles indulgently down at my son and then looks at me. “He did a great job spreading the peanut butter and jelly. He even managed to cut it into squares.” Her eyes twinkle. “Well, more or less squares. More like… what are those things? Trapezoids?”

I laugh. “I get the picture.”

Jewel motions for me to come inside. “Watch the doorknob, though,” she warns me. “I have a feeling there’s peanut butter on it.”

Noah runs back inside, and I follow him into Jewel’s small, tidy apartment. As always, I’m struck by how little this looks like the space lived in by an MC club bartender. Well, you’re one, too, I remind myself. People would probably find you just as unusual.

“Have a seat,” Jewel tells me. “You want anything to drink? I’ve got iced tea. It’s so hot today.”

It is indeed. Jewel’s got her windows wide open to try to cool her place off. There’s one small window air conditioner in the living room, but she’s told me it doesn’t work, and her landlord doesn’t seem particularly interested in fixing it.

I sit down on her tiny love seat. Jewel calls Noah into the kitchen and I watch as she wipes off his hands and face with a wet cloth. He puts up with the cleaning impatiently, then runs over to me and bounces onto the love seat next to me.

“It looks like you and Jewel had a good day today, bug,” I say to him.

“Yeah! She even drawed dinosaurs for me and I colored them in!” he beams. “I made one that was you, one that was Jewel, and one that was me!”

“Wow, so I’m a dinosaur now?” I tease him.

“No!” he crows, rolling his eyes. “You’re a mommy!”

Jewel comes into the room with two glasses, and hands one to me.

“Thanks for being so great with him, Jewel,” I say as she sits down. Noah wiggles down off the couch, presumably to go get his dinosaur drawings. “I honestly don’t know what I would have done without you these last few weeks.”

“No worries at all,” she assures me. She pulls her hair back from her face with her uninjured hand. “He really is a darling.” She looks back at him with a smile. “Like I told you, he kind of reminds me of my little brother.” She looks sad for a moment, and I find myself wondering what kind of life she left behind in Indiana, and how she ended up here.

Jewel blinks then, and her face changes back to the bright, sunny smile she usually wears.

I pull my wallet out of my purse, then count out some bills and hand them to her.

“Thanks,” she smiles. “Noah seems pretty excited for preschool.”

It’s Friday, and the last day Jewel will be watching Noah full-time. He’s starting preschool on Monday, so she’ll only be taking him a couple of afternoons a week while I’m at work.

I sigh nervously.

“I sure hope his excitement lasts,” I say. “He seemed to like it when we went for a visit, anyway. And I think he’s going to like his teachers.”

“It must be strange, sending him to school for the first time,” she remarks.

“It is,” I admit. “But he’s ready. And he needs some friends. I’ve been dragging him around from place to place for too long. He needs some stability in his life.” My heart constricts as I think about all I’ve had to put my little boy through in his short life.

“How’s your hand, by the way?” I ask, nodding toward the bandage, which I notice is smaller today.

“It’s okay. I mean, it’s healing fine.” She shrugs. “I figure it’ll still be a couple weeks until I’ll be able to go back to tending bar.” She sighs. “I can’t wait to be able to take a normal shower without having to put a bag around my hand to keep the water out.”

“Gosh, I’ll bet.” Noah comes back, his outstretched hands proudly displaying his artwork. The dinosaur version of me is purple, with a long neck, tiny arms and a huge body.

I try not to take it personally.

“Wow, those are pretty, Noah,” I say, admiring.

“Look!” he says proudly, holding out one of the sheets. “I made one of Cas, too!”

It’s a fourth sheet of paper, with an outline by Jewel of a large, strong-looking dinosaur. Noah has colored it a deep blue.

I glance quickly up at Jewel, searching her face for any reaction. “Noah asked me to draw one for him, as well. He said he was going to give it to Cas the next time he came over to your place,” she says hesitantly.

She’s trying not to react, but it’s as plain as day that she knows what’s going on between Cas and me. Of course she does. Jewel and I have never talked about Cas one way or another, but I realize now how much Cas and I have taken her secrecy for granted.

Reddening, I take the picture from Noah. “Uh, that’s really nice, Noah. I think Cas will really like it. Now why don’t you go get your stuff ready, okay, bug?”

He runs off to collect his things. When he’s gone, Jewel gives me a kind look. “He’s a good guy, Cas is,” she says simply. “Any girl would be lucky to have him.”

I freeze at first, afraid to say anything. But it seems silly to deny that there’s something going on between us. Jewel already knows, and lying to her face just seems wrong when she’s been taking care of Noah so that we could be together.

“When I first started tending bar for the club,” she continues, “The guys were a little… rough. Before this job, I used to be a stripper.” Her eyes cloud. “I moved here from Lincolnville. There’s a strip club there. Harry’s.”

I nod. Harry’s is kind of notorious.

“It wasn’t a good scene. At all,” she says quietly. I didn’t want to strip anymore, so I came here, but some of the guys found out that’s where I used to work, and they were looking to… take advantage.” Jewel smiles softly. “Cas was the only one that didn’t assume I was public property just because of my past. I think he told the other guys to back off of me, too, because after the first week or so, things settled down.” She looks at me now. “I’m no prude, but I like to decide who I sleep with, you know?”

There’s a small lump forming in my throat. As hard as my life has been sometimes, I get the feeling that Jewel’s has been much harder. “Yeah. I know.”

She takes a deep breath and lets it out. “So anyway. Cas is one of the good ones. And he’s obviously really into you.” She quirks up her lips into a grin. “He’s hot, too. Lucky you.”

I can’t help it. I laugh. “Yeah, he definitely has that going for him.”

“So, are you two… you know… Are you exclusive?” Jewel’s eyes are wide and bright with curiosity.

I shouldn’t say any more. But, truth be told, it’s kind of a relief to talk it out loud. Like it makes it more real.

“Yes,” I admit. “For now, anyway.”

“Oh, gosh!” she squeals. “That’s so exciting!”

I grin — her enthusiasm is infectious. “We’re keeping it a secret for now, though,” I tell her.

“Oh, sure, I gathered that,” she nods sagely. “Don’t worry, honey. Your secret’s safe with me.” She reaches over and squeezes my hand, and I can’t help but feel a wave of affection for this sweet, kind girl, who seems so innocent in spite of everything.

Just then, Noah comes back out with his little backpack and his drawings. I take the backpack and carefully put the papers inside. “How about we take ours home, and let Jewel keep the one of her?” I suggest.

“Okay!” Noah nods. He hands it to Jewel, who kneels down and thanks him with a hug.

“Thanks, kiddo!” she says. “You take care, now, okay? I’ll see you next week and you can tell me all about preschool.”

I open the door and hold it for Noah to go through. We wave goodbye to Jewel and then walk out to the car. Noah’s talking a mile a minute, which means one thing: he’s about to crash. Sure enough, I get him strapped into his seat, and by the time we’re halfway home, he’s already asleep and snoring softly. I smile at my little boy adoringly as I look at him in the rearview mirror. I’m glad Jewel fed him something, because I think he’s down for the count.

Which means I can actually have grown-up food for dinner for a change.

I made decent tips today at the clubhouse. Maybe I should splurge on some Chinese delivery, I think jubilantly.

My stomach rumbles in agreement.