Less Than Ten Years Earlier
Hannah Michaels
TOMORROW DIDN’T QUITE happen.
In fact, the following five days didn’t happen either. After our romp in his bedroom, Jace did a really great job of avoiding me. Coming into the classes we shared late and cutting out early, the only time I saw his face was when I looked over my shoulder in class to steal a peek.
Even then, he didn’t look at me.
What would he have done if we’d had sex—head to China?
Every time my phone went off I thought it would be him. It wasn’t. It was, however, usually Ethan, who seemed fine. In fact, he never even mentioned leaving me alone in Jace’s room.
So, why was Jace avoiding me?
Guilt?
Well, two could play that I’m pissed at myself and having a pity party game.
When Saturday night came around, I made a call to Ethan.
“Hey,” he answered, “I’m just about to walk out the door to come pick you up.”
Phone clamped to my ear, I was halfway out of the dorm when his words had me turning around. “Oh,” I said trying to catch my breath, “that’s why I’m calling. I’m really not feeling that great.”
It wasn’t that far from the truth.
There was a pause, and then I heard the jingle of keys, as if he’d set them down. “Do you want me to come over there?”
In front of my room, I leaned against the wall. “Probably not the best idea. I’m really not sure what I have. It might be something I ate, but it could be something else.”
That too wasn’t that far from the truth.
“Listen, I know I haven’t been around much lately, but after next week I should be able to reduce my hours at the law firm, and I’ll have more time to spend with you.”
The sweetness of his words had me taking in a huge gulp of air. After I slowly exhaled it, I said, “It’s okay, Ethan, I know how important your clerkship is to you. I’m fine, don’t worry about me.”
He laughed. “I’m not worried about you, I know you have Jace. I just miss you.”
Guilt slammed through me and my head fell back against the wall. I was a terrible person. “Listen, I have to go. I’ll call you tomorrow, okay?”
“Yeah, cool, I’ll be around,” he said.
“Bye,” I said and ended the call.
Facing him was something I still had to work up to, but I knew my time was running out. I had to gather the courage and decide what to do. Tell him what had happened or not. Tell him I have feelings for Jace or not. End things with him or not. I had a lot to think about.
Two girls came around the corner giggling and stumbling. Their Saturday night had obviously started early with happy hour somewhere down the hall, and more than likely now headed on a bus trip to downtown. Mine on the other hand was going to consist of braving the cold and tromping across campus in the snow to grab something to eat at the dining hall.
Sometimes I really hated dorm life.
The snow accumulation had amounted to over five inches in the past twenty-four hours, and since it was Saturday, not all of the sidewalks on campus had been plowed yet. Forced to take the long away around, it took me more than thirty minutes to get to the only open dining hall, and about fifteen to eat what little food I could get down.
Bundled up with my scarf wrapped around the lower half of my face, I headed back to my dorm just as the sun had set.
Great.
It was even colder then.
Putting my arms out for balance, I found the footprints others had used and decided to take the shorter way back.
Walking as fast as I could, I kept my head down and trudged through both the banks and the squalls.
Just as I rounded the corner to my building, I stopped and blinked the snow from my eyes. Then blinked again.
The lone figure sitting on the icy steps in a black ski jacket with a beanie on his head wasn’t hard to make out even in the dark. After all, he was my very hot friend who hadn’t spoken to me in nearly a week.
Except . . . he wasn’t just my friend.
Was he?
“Are you really sick?” he asked quietly in the hush of the cold winter night.
“I guess that depends on your definition of sick,” I replied, my voice soft.
He nodded and looked away, staring off into the distance. “The guilty kind of sick.”
Not really a question. I stared at his handsome profile, trying to figure out if he was feeling the same way I was or if he was just being a dick. “Yes, that kind,” I admitted, deciding he wasn’t being a dick, because if he was he wouldn’t be here.
After a few seconds he looked at me with those intense gray eyes of his. “Can I come up to your room?”
In answer, I strode right past him and opened the door. My knees were wobbly but I managed to climb the steps up to the third floor. Once I reached my room, I unlocked my door and opening it, I left it wide open.
Kicking off my boots, I threw my coat and hat on my chair, and then pulled my gloves off with my teeth.
Before I set them down, I heard the sound of his boots pounding down the linoleum floor.
In the dark, I stumbled slightly over my boots as I took a tentative step away from my desk.
Jace stood in the doorway with his jacket clenched tight in his hand. He hesitated a moment, his shoulders hunching up a little, but then he stepped inside and closed the door behind him.
Carefully setting his coat on top of mine, he looked around everywhere, but at me. My instincts were screaming to go to him, to help him calm down, to soothe his torment, but I had my own torment going on.
When he finally met my gaze, his eyes were blazing with emotions. He was angry. He was distraught. He was guilty. He was lost.
And I couldn’t take it. That’s when I strode toward him. He held his hand out to me, and I curled my fingers around his, shivering at the slide of skin against skin. We were silent as he sat on the edge of my bed and I sat beside him.
With a long suffering sigh Jace brought my hand to his lips and kissed my fingertips. “I miss you.”
I drew in a ragged breath, and the noise was the only sound in the room. My dignity warred with my heart, and in the end, my heart won. “I miss you, too.”
Jace tugged me closer, and as he continued to look at me, his eyes grew less intense and maybe even slightly warmer. “We can’t keep going on like this. It isn’t fair to any of us.”
My eyes grew round at the implication. “Are you ending things between us?”
Although he didn’t answer right away, I could see the answer in his stare, and a sudden nervous excitement overcame me. “Ethan wants the three of us to go skiing over spring break. I think we should go, and once we get back we need to tell him how we feel about each other. I’m pretty sure he’ll be cool with it.”
My head jerked up and my gaze raked over him. “What are you saying?”
Running his fingertips through my hair, he took my face in his hands. “That we can be together. We just have to give it time. Ethan is stressing out right now, and dumping this on him before midterms would be a shitty thing to do.”
Although my body somewhat relaxed at the statement, I frowned at him. “I completely agree with you about waiting until after mid-terms, but there is no way any of us can afford to go skiing.”
His lips pressed together as he gazed at me for a few seconds. His gaze was searching, as though he could find whatever solution he was looking for if he stared long enough. “Ethan said he’d drive, and I know someone with a place in Colorado.”
I stared at him.
Jace stared back for another few long seconds before swallowing any of my lingering sadness and concerns in a deep, drugging kiss.
I closed my eyes and relished the thought that we were staying together.
It all sounded so simple.