Present Day
Hannah Michaels Crestfall
THE BLACK-TIE AFFAIR was mandatory for all Flirt employees, but the blue satin dress I had selected with its high slit up the thigh was not.
Most of the girls from the office had told me they were wearing black. I opted for what the sales clerk had told me was the new black, which in this case was a deep navy blue.
Trendsetting had nothing to do with it. Jace had loved the color blue on me when we attended Michigan State. He said it made my eyes look the hottest of summer nights. Rather poetic for a man who had no idea the word romantic was a part of the English language.
Wanting to look sophisticated, I curled my hair and arranged it in an elegant upsweep, allowing a few pieces to fall loosely around my head. On the makeup front, I kept it light, except for the mascara, which I generously combed on my lashes to make my eyes pop. I had also purchased a new red lipstick, again because the sales girl told me that was also the current trend, and drew it on my lips sparingly.
Normally I couldn’t have cared less about what was in style, but tonight I wanted to feel like I belonged in that dress. At that party. It was stupid, I knew, and yet I did it anyway.
For him?
Or for me?
I didn’t know.
Not that I was going to pay any attention to him. I mean why would I? I had said terrible things to him, and although I regretted most of them, it had helped us keep a comfortable distance.
It needed to stay that way.
He was a man of his word, though. At work he talked to me about work related items, but neither of said anything about what had happened.
It was better that way.
With winter break underway though, and vacations coming up, I wouldn’t be seeing him every day, and that made me feel sad.
Still, that wasn’t why I put all I had into making myself look beautiful.
I did it for me.
Not him.
This was the first time I was home alone in a long time, and with a more than steady paycheck and extra money in the bank, I decided to spend the Saturday shopping.
My mother had driven down yesterday from Grand Haven to take Jonah back to her new house for the week. She no longer worked for the Crestfalls, but had found a new job. She’d taken the week off. The plan was that I would drive up on Christmas Eve and spend the week with her. I had taken the following week off of work. That way she got to spend two weeks with Jonah.
I looked at myself in the reflection of the glass.
The dress was definitely wow worthy. With the aid of my high heels, I had more than enough height to carry off the long dress with the daring slit.
However, getting myself ready had taken longer than I anticipated, and I was running behind schedule.
The event was being held at The Berkshire Room, and as I walked in, I was struck by its swankiness immediately. It was obvious this place catered to an upscale clientele.
The late entrance I made seemed to go unnoticed, except by one of the cute waiters who offered me a glass of champagne as soon as I stepped in the club. I gladly took it and said, “Thanks.”
“No problem. Any time.” He smiled and gave me a nod.
There was a gleam of interest in his eyes, and I knew I had made the right choice with the dress I had selected.
Crystal flute in hand, I brought the bubbling liquid to my lips and allowed myself to smell the faint scent of white flowers and hints of orange peel and wild berries before I took my first sip.
Most people say champagne doesn’t have a smell, to me it does, and it’s one I have always admired.
After breathing it in, I tipped the glass back and the flavor exploded in my mouth. Rich and smooth, the cool liquid hit the back of my throat. Feeling nervous, I took another swig, and another, then one more.
Next to me I heard the discreet popping noise of more bottles being opened, and then a cracking, fizzing sound as the champagne was poured into glass after glass.
Exchanging my empty glass for a full one, I looked around the purple laser-beamed space with its hundreds of people for someone I might know from Flirt.
The thump of dance music reverberated in my belly as I scanned the row of low benches against the railing that separated the huge bar area from the dance floor. Immediately, I spotted him. Jace. He was talking to an older gentleman, and when he saw me, he smiled. I quickly turned away and caught sight of two guys who worked in Network Engineering. They were responsible for the security, data storage, and disaster recovery. I’d met with them a few times, and when they waved me over, I didn’t hesitate.
Flirt Enterprises championed more than a dozen causes, but this one was special to Jace. The Community Outreach Program for Children had been started by his father years ago, and although it had been dormant for years, his late wife had revitalized it. He made sure to keep it going, and with the change of venue this year, it looked like he had done a fantastic job.
It was the only fundraiser the company required all of its employees to attend. Donations were not necessary, but attendance was. Flirt or not, judging by the amount of people there, the fundraiser had to be an overwhelming success.
I made my way through the crowd, careful not to spill my drink, and even more careful to avoid Jace as I approached the two men.
“It’s Hannah, right?” the taller one to the left said. I thought his name was Jason, but I wasn’t sure.”
“Yes,” I smiled.
He offered his hand. “I’m Jason, and this is Mike, we met a couple of weeks ago when you were making the rounds.”
Tucking my small clutch under the arm that held my glass, I offered my empty one. “Yes, I remember. You told me you were in the middle of a huge upgrade, and that I could expect to see all the apps function at a greater speed. I’m happy to say, you were right.”
Mike dipped his head, as if embarrassed, but Jason stood tall and widened his stance in pride.
Both proceeded to explain to me exactly what they had done. Sipping my champagne and listening, I allowed my eyes to wander every so often.
It was when they hit the other side of the bar that my heart jumped. Jace. This time I didn’t look away. Not right away, anyway. He was looking around, but not over where I was.
This time Jace was alone at the bar. He was leaning against it, sipping a scotch, I guessed by the color, and I couldn’t help but admire him. Taking the opportunity, I took him in—the tall, broad-shouldered man clad was dressed in the sexiest tuxedo I had ever seen.
Blinking my eyes, I finished my drink in two gulps, and to my own surprise, I grabbed for another when the cute waiter stopped beside me.
Yet, I couldn’t help but glance back. He was mid-sip when he spotted me, and he lowered his glass to smile at me. He had a wide mouth and full lips that easily drove a woman to her knees with just one kiss. This I knew from experience. And then there was that slow, sexy grin. Those dark, laughing eyes. And that insanely attractive body.
There was some serious déjà vu going on, and I hated that couldn’t stop the butterflies that swarmed my belly.
With a tilt of his head, he beckoned me to him. I shook my head, and out of my peripheral vision, I noticed Tara, my assistant, standing with a group of people from our department fairly close to him. As soon as she spotted me, she blew me a kiss.
With those intense eyes staring at me as if hurt that I wouldn’t come to talk to him, he made a move toward me. It was as if he’d been looking for me and having found me once again, he wasn’t going to let me go.
But he already had, hadn’t he?
I found myself lowering my gaze. I didn’t want to talk to him, not here, not in this setting. We’d said all that needed to be said weeks ago.
A little unsettled by how deeply affected I was by his attention, I tried to give my own attention back to Jason and Mike, but it was hopeless. I kept shifting my gaze to him. He was making his way through the crowd, and I knew he was coming for me.
That pounding heart of mine was nearly out of my chest. I had to move. Not a minute later, I made an excuse to slip away.
I had no destination in mind as I walked through the crowd. Anywhere would do, just far enough away from Jace that I didn’t have to talk to him.
The white lights on the dance floor flickered in my vision, and I had to close my eyes for a minute. That’s when I ran right into my boss.
Perry Reeves was about five years older than me, and recently divorced. He had two kids who he kept every other weekend, and loved hockey almost as much as Jace.
Unlike Jace though, he wasn’t as refined. In fact, he’d recently shaved his dark hair close to his scalp. Like that it was hard not to notice his smooth, perfectly shaped ears, especially the one that boasted a small gold hoop in the lobe.
Perry was low key, taking advantage of casual Fridays by wearing jeans himself. He was also kind, considerate, and easygoing.
Everything Jace wasn’t.
The friendship Perry and I had cultivated since I started working for him was one I was grateful for.
“Perry,” I said with a start.
“Hannah,” he replied, bracing his hands on my upper arms, and looking me up and down. “You look incredible.”
“Thank you,” I responded, feeling myself blushing.
As if wondering if his actions were appropriate, he quickly stepped back. “I wasn’t sure if you were going to make it.”
I lifted an eyebrow in question. “The note that accompanied the invitation said the event was mandatory.”
One half of his mouth turned up. “I think Jace might have bent the rules for you.”
“What . . . makes you say that?” There was a slight hesitation in my question that I couldn’t temper.
Perry ran a hand over his head, as if he had forgotten he’d shaved it all off. “You have to ignore me. I’ve already had too much to drink and the night is just getting started.”
That wasn’t exactly the truth. I could see it in his eyes. Whatever had been said between him and his boss though wasn’t anything he was going to share with me. It was apparent that I had no choice but to let it go, so I did, and gave him an easy smile.
Moving on from the off limits topic of Jace, he held his hand out to me. “Care to dance?”
I took it. “I’d love to.”
The beat was soft and slow, and I was glad since my heels were four inches high and my dress a mile long. I couldn’t imagine rocking my hips to a fast tempo in what I was wearing.
Perry was ever the gentleman. His hands were light on my hips and his body remained an arm’s length away.
Together we moved in a box step, and laughed about things that were happening at work. Jace was never mentioned once. I supposed we were both adhering to the off limits topic.
A low, deep voice was loud in my ear. “Mind if I cut in?”
Feeling like a fluttery teenager, my hand flew to my chest. “Jace,” I said in surprise.
“She’s all yours,” Perry said, extending his arm.
Without waiting for my acceptance, Jace turned me toward him and pulled me tightly against him. There wasn’t an inch between us, and his hand splayed wide on my backside.
“I want to talk to you,” he whispered.
“You are,” I said.
“Alone.”
I shook my head no. I knew that was code for I want to fuck you.
He pulled me tighter.
That song bled into the next, and we danced to it with our bodies molded together. With each step, his hand moved, up, down, alternating between caressing and rubbing.
The closeness was too much. His scent was too much. His body so close it was way more than I could handle.
“I should go find Perry,” I blurted out.
He shook his head no and held on to me.
I couldn’t take it, so I lifted my mouth to whisper in his ear. “What are you doing?”
Jace glared down at me. “Stopping you from walking away.”
That made me laugh, but this laugh was cold and harsh.
Ignoring me, he went on. “Are you purposely trying to avoid me?”
My lips turned into a snarl. “Do you really have to ask me that?”
His gaze flickered. “Give me five minutes, alone.”
I shook my head. “No, Jace, I won’t. I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Do you really have to ask me that? We both know only one thing will come from spending time alone together.”
That glare of his turned icy. “And what do you think that one thing is, Hannah?”
“Us fucking.” I blurted it out.
He was pissed now.
Good.
This little dance could end, and I could get some much needed distance from him, but he didn’t back away, he just stared at me.
Moments later, we were both breathing fast. That was not a good sign. A scene would not be appropriate. So instead I stepped back, and as I did, I said nothing.
“Hannah,” he called.
Ignoring him, I turned on my heels and left him standing there.
In that moment, I hated him.
I wanted him.
And I hated him.
Lost in the crowd, I stayed away from Perry, and found Tara. When I did, she insisted we have a drink together, and I more than happily obliged.
Twenty minutes or so passed as she told me about her new boyfriend. What she liked and what she didn’t. I listened and offered advice when I could. She never asked me anything about my love life, and I was very glad.
Although non-existent wouldn’t have been very hard to explain.
Proud of myself that I had done such a good job of not looking for Jace the entire time I talked to her, I wanted to pat myself on the back. But it wasn’t long after I made that mental note that I saw him, and again he was headed in my direction.
I shook my head, warning him to keep his distance. He stopped right where he was, but not because of my warning. Rather because someone had tugged on his arm, and not just someone, a woman, a beautiful woman.
This goddess was about our age. She had dark hair that hung in waves around the porcelain skin of her shoulders. And her beauty was more in an exotic kind of way. Not to mention that her red dress was drop dead gorgeous in a way you knew was meant to impress.
The low V in the front covered just enough of her large breasts to make it appear classy instead of slutty. And the layers of fabric at the hips didn’t make her look big as they might have on most people, but rather rail thin. Everything about her screamed expensive. She was a woman whose presence filled the room.
Standing next to Jace, they looked like the perfect cake topper. Him with his “I don’t give a fuck” attitude and her with her confidence and sophistication, they were the perfect couple.
He gave her his attention, and of course she was a guest, and he had to, that didn’t stop the spike of jealously I felt. It was irrational. They were only talking. And yet, I wasn’t sure why I couldn’t look away.
With a shaky hand, I gulped the last of my champagne and set the glass down.
Tara talked, and I watched him. Them. Watched as he leaned his upper body closer to the exotic beauty to say something that made her tip her head back in laughter. Watched when she stopped laughing and whispered something into his ear. Watched her face linger near his, and watched as he used the opportunity to put his hand on her bare shoulder. Perhaps to pull her closer, perhaps unable to hear her, or perhaps because that was where he wanted her. I had no idea.
Torturing myself, I imagined since I’d turned him down for sex, he’d moved on to her. That he had told her he wanted to fuck her in his car, and at first she thought he might be teasing. But then she figured out he wasn’t, and told him she wanted that too.
There was no way to know what they were discussing of course, but whatever it was, he seemed invested in it, enough that he didn’t step back even as she stepped forward.
When the woman finally gave him some distance and stood straight again, he glanced over her shoulder and looked right at me.
I didn’t care that he caught me staring, but he did. He made no move to alter his position, back away from her, as if he’d gotten caught. I think he was even trying to say goodbye, but she wasn’t letting him. No, she wanted his attention, and she was going after it. After him.
Unable to watch him with someone else for another minute, I told Tara I had to go, and then stalked toward the club doors and pushed them open to find myself in an empty lobby.
The coat check was unattended as the event was in full swing, and I retrieved my wrap on my own.
Unable to stop myself from leaving, I headed toward the bank of doors that led to the street. Work function or not, mandatory or not, I was done.
A light snow had started to fall, and it felt good on my heated skin. I no longer cared about my dress, and as I waited for a cab, I crossed my arms over my chest in frustration.
The door opened behind me and I knew who it was without glancing back. The beat of the music filled the space between us. That is until the door swung closed again.
The sound of cars passing wasn’t enough to block out the noise in my ears. I closed my eyes, hoping I was wrong about who had come outside, and hoping even more I was right.
“Hannah!”
I started walking down the street. The corner wasn’t that far, and I knew as soon as I turned it, there would be a line of cabs waiting for passengers. The fast movement of my heels clicked along the pavement and snow slushed along the bottom of my dress.
I didn’t care.
“Damn it, Hannah, wait a minute!”
The sound of his voice was like thunder, and it only made me walk faster. “Go away, Jace, I don’t want to talk to you.”
“You shouldn’t be out here alone. It isn’t safe!”
“I’ll be fine,” I shot over my shoulder.
Getting away from Jace wasn’t that easy though. His long strides had him catching up to me in less than thirty seconds, and once he did, he wrapped his big palm around my arm to stop me.
The glow of the streetlight highlighted his gorgeous features, and in that moment I never hated an inanimate object as much as I did then.
Snow fell onto the fabric of his shirt as if it wanted to taunt me with the curves of his muscular chest, and then it ran down his face, and he licked away some of the flakes.
“That wasn’t what you think it was,” he said.
“I don’t care what it was.” I yanked my arm from his grasp.
He raised an eyebrow at me. “If you don’t care so much, then why are you running away?”
Anger reared up in me in a way it shouldn’t have. “Maybe I don’t like watching you try to get in some high-society woman’s panties with all your big shot moves.”
Jace actually flinched, as though I’d struck him. “That was low, Hannah.”
“Maybe sometimes the truth hurts.”
Silence hung between us as my words cut us both deep.
As the moments passed, I began to feel like I couldn’t breathe. Remorse and guilt were the water dripping down my skin. I hated the jealous bitch I was feeling like. It wasn’t me.
“My work obligation has been honored,” I said bitterly. “I’m going home.”
Everything about him softened. “I told you I want to talk to you.”
“And I already told you that I don’t want to talk to you.”
Done with the night, and the dancing, and the drinking, and everything that seemed to be so close, and yet so far away, I turned and walked away just in time to hail an oncoming cab, and climb in.
“Hannah,” he yelled, “I’m not giving up.”
Jace didn’t run after me, though.
And I didn’t expect him to.
But a part of me wanted him to.
A really big part.