I TOOK TWO STEPS SLOWLY backward, wiggling my fingers. “I’ll see you in a few hours, Trix.” Archie looked stunned, aroused, and a little bit confused as if maybe he wasn’t sure if he wanted me to leave or stay. I made the decision for him because I knew he needed space to accept the growing feelings between us and time to believe it was real. I would give him both as long as I had hope in my heart something amazing could develop between us.
“How’s Archie?” Brent asked when I returned to the table.
“He’s back too quickly for anything good to have happened. Glassy eyes, glossy lips,” Adam said, his eyes searching my face, “I’d say he stole a kiss.”
“Excellent deduction, Watson,” Tyler said in a proper British accent. “Now, the real question is: Did Ollie return to the table of his own accord, or did his heart’s desire give him a gentle shove?”
“Leave him alone, guys,” Keeton said, rolling his eyes. “Have you guys ever considered spending more time focusing on your own love lives, or lack thereof, instead of Ollie’s?”
Brent stiffened beside Keeton and looked down at his soft drink. I had noticed when they arrived that the familiarity they’d been exhibiting lately was missing. As their sponsor, I was always concerned about budding relationships between members because it could spell disaster and cause relapses. While it was good to be surrounded with people who understood your addiction and the demons you fought, there was still a risk it could cause major setbacks if it blew up in your face. Brent had always seemed so damned level-headed beneath his backward ball cap, but I knew all too well what good actors we addicts could be when it suited us. Keeton, on the other hand, seemed more volatile with emotions simmering much closer to the surface. All of us teased and taunted one another, but there was a rougher edge to Keeton’s barbs than there was the rest of ours. I’d hate for Brent to find himself cut and bleeding after getting tangled up in Keeton’s barbwire. I checked myself because I wasn’t being fair. I had no idea what Brent’s easygoing nature hid and had no way to know he wasn’t the one being the ass and causing Keeton to regress back to the surlier man who first showed up at meetings.
I debated whether I should speak to them individually to make sure their heads were in the right place but worried it would cause unnecessary awkwardness between us. As much as I loved these men with all my heart, I should never have allowed myself to get so close to them. It skewed my objectivity and had me second-guessing my motives and decisions which could put their sobriety at risk. Selfishly, I couldn’t imagine my life without their friendship and refused to believe I couldn’t be both friend and mentor. Hadn’t Pastor Randall been both to me? Sure, there were some tough love moments between us, but I never doubted his motives. I would remember that if the time came when I believed a serious conversation with Brent and Keeton was warranted.
“Thank you, Keeton,” I said, offering him a kind smile. “I’m glad to see that one of you respects my privacy at least.”
“We’re just teasing you, Ollie,” Adam said. “You know we’re pulling for you and Archie, right? Hell, the big sap over there,” he gestured to Andy, “has made us all want to find an epic love.”
We all looked over to Andy, but his eyes were locked on the stage and he had a faraway expression on his face. We each took turns saying his name, but he didn’t acknowledge any of us until I nudged him with my elbow.
“What? Huh?”
“What’s wrong with you, man?” Brent asked. “You’re shaking like a leaf over there. I’ve never seen you looking so nervous.”
“Are you in the doghouse?” Keeton asked. “I know it’s not fair, but there’s a lot of pressure on you and Milo to prove to us happiness really is a possibility.”
“It’s all in how you look at things, kid,” Tyler told him. “Whatever you put out into the universe comes back to you. If you have positivity and happiness, then that’s what you need to exude.”
“Exude?” Keeton asked, rolling his eyes. “I used to be a happy-go-lucky person, and I still ended up with shit kicked in my face.”
“Sounds like life to me,” Brent said softly. “It’s how you deal with your shit that matters.”
“So, I just need to swallow a spoonful of sugar to help swallow the medicine life tries to cram down my throat, huh?” Keeton asked.
“You’re quoting Mary Poppins?” I asked, leaning forward.
“I have a little sister,” Keeton replied, looking surlier than he had a few minutes before. I hadn’t meant to embarrass him; I was just shocked. I would’ve expected him to make a crude reference like life bending him over without using lube or something.
“How’s your gag reflex?” Adam asked.
“Adam,” I admonished. “You went too far.”
“Hey, I’m just trying to help the kid out, Ollie. He’s talking about life cramming things down his throat. I was just going to offer suggestions that might help him more than a spoonful of sugar.”
“Brent didn’t have any issues with my gag reflex, did you?” Keeton asked the red-faced man sitting beside him. Brent swallowed hard but didn’t speak. Keeton shoved back from the table and said, “I’m out of here.”
Brent stood up so fast his chair tipped over. “Don’t go, Kee,” he urged, snagging Keeton’s forearm before he could walk away. “Please.”
Keeton looked at Brent, and for a few seconds, he let down his shield to show the raw emotions he felt. It was so intense that Brent gasped, but he didn’t release Keeton’s arm. The shields locked back in place, giving Keeton his mask of indifference once more. “Fine.”
Adam looked between the two guys. “I didn’t mean to start an argument or cause any trouble. I apologize, Keeton.”
The younger man studied Adam’s face to see if he was being genuine. He must’ve liked what he saw because he nodded and sat back down. Brent studied Keeton for a few seconds before he returned to his seat. He leaned over and said something in Keeton’s ear that must’ve mollified him because a smirk replaced his scowl.
“Aww,” Tyler teased. “You’re so cute.”
“Don’t get the wrong idea, Hannah Montana,” Keeton groused, “we’re only plotting our revenge on Adam.”
“Hey,” Adam said, throwing up his hands, “I’m happy to do my part to bring people together.”
“Guys,” Andy said suddenly. I looked over at him and saw he was pale as a ghost.
“Are you sick?” I asked.
“I’m a fucking wreck, Ollie.”
“What’s wrong, man?” Brent asked. “What can we do?”
“What if Milo says no?” Andy asked us.
“No to what?” Tyler asked. “That guy wouldn’t tell you no if… Ohhhh. You’re planning on asking him to marry you.”
“Seriously?” Brent and Adam asked at the same time while Keeton only stared at Andy with a raised brow.
“That’s awesome, Andy. Congratulations,” Adam said.
“He hasn’t said yes yet,” Andy pointed out.
“He will say yes,” Brent said calmly. “The guy is crazy about you.”
“When are you going to ask him?” I asked.
“Tonight,” Andy squeaked. “On stage. Dressed as Kenny Rogers.”
The rest of the world fell away while we studied him to see if he was teasing us. Andy just nodded to confirm we’d heard him right. The rest of the world came into focus again when Andy’s sister, Faith, showed up with a garment bag slung over her shoulder.
“Ready, Slugger?” she asked cheerfully. “We need to have you dressed and ready to go by the time Milo takes the stage to perform.”
“Why Kenny?” I asked suddenly.
“Milo’s performing Dolly Parton songs tonight,” Andy said. “I’m going to pop the question after performing a surprise Kenny and Dolly duet with him in front of our friends and family. Our families and some of our friends from Blissville will be arriving soon to witness me making an ass of myself.”
Faith smiled up at her brother with so much love in her eyes. “Milo will remember this day for the rest of his life. I’m so excited my brother is marrying my best friend. Let’s go find a place where you can get ready and we can hide you until it’s time to take the stage. Milo is back there getting ready, so we don’t want to risk running into him.”
“Archie could help us pull it off,” I told Andy. “Do you mind if I go enlist his help?”
“That’s perfect,” Faith said. “Thank you, Ollie.”
“I’ll be right back.”
I didn’t immediately find Archie when I got backstage. There were dozens of queens milling around talking about their performance or going over last-minute changes before they took the stage.
“Have you seen Archie?” I asked Vava Voom who was downing a bottle of water after her lively performance.
“No, I haven’t, honey. I’m sorry.”
“Well, well, well,” a voice said from behind me. “I’d recognize that luscious ass anywhere.” I turned around and had to look way up to meet Gracie Lou Fullbush’s eyes. “How are you, darling? Volunteering for more of what I gave you the last time?”
“Um, no,” I said. “I’m looking for Archie.”
“Oh, well, I saw him duck into the prop closet with a tall drink of water.” My breath seized in my chest, but she just waggled her brows as if she didn’t know my heart was broken. My Archie with another guy? “Honey, the look in Archie’s eyes… Whew! They won’t be in there long if you know what I mean.”
I did know. Bile burned a path up my throat, and I felt like I was going to be sick. “I’ll…um…just return to my seat then.”
“Should I tell Archie you were looking for him?”
“Don’t bother.”
I’d just about made it to the exit when I heard Archie calling my name. I couldn’t face him right then. I couldn’t smell another man on him or see a sated look on his face I hadn’t put there, so I just kept walking.
“Ollie, please don’t go,” Archie said, sounding desperate. I jerked to a stop and pivoted slowly to face him, allowing time for him to catch up to me. He wasn’t alone. A tall, blond man with shrewd blue eyes stood behind him. I wouldn’t say the man looked smug, but he looked like he was more confident about his role in Archie’s life than I was at the moment. “It’s not what that queen would have you think.” Archie didn’t stop until we stood nearly chest to chest. He didn’t smell like another man, and he hadn’t come. There was no sated look in his eyes, only annoyance.
“I’ll just be going,” Tall, Blond, and Handsome said. “I’ll see you later, Arch.”
“Not if I can avoid it,” Archie told the man without tearing his eyes away from mine. “I can’t believe you thought I was fucking around in the prop closet with another guy after what we shared the past twenty-four hours. Do you think so little of me then? Trust is a two-way street, Ollie.”
I briefly closed my eyes because his hurt expression and the disappointment in his voice hurt me worse than thinking about him in the closet with another guy. I had wanted to be different than all the other guys he’d known, but I was already letting him down a day after he gave me—us—a chance. “I’m sorry, Archie.” I reached up and cupped his cheek. “You’re not the only one afraid to believe sometimes.” His eyes widened at my admission.
“We have so much to talk about, Ollie.” His voice and eyes softened. “What did you come back to see me about?”
“Oh, I can’t believe I nearly forgot.” I lightly gripped Archie’s arm and pulled him away from the queens. “Andy needs a place to get into costume.” Archie let out a whoop and did a little dance when I told him about Andy’s plans.
“The prop closet is about as good as I can do without much notice,” he told me.
“We’ll take it. Let me go get Andy and Faith. I’ll be right back.”
“Hold it,” Archie said firmly, crooking his finger at me. “Kiss me, Ollie. I need to know we’re okay.”
Cupping his face with both hands, I pressed my mouth to his. I wanted to let my lips linger and deepen the kiss so I could show him how he made me feel, but we were surrounded by catcalling queens, his dick was tucked and taped, and Andy was waiting on us to help him make his and Milo’s dreams come true. When I pulled back, I saw the dazed and lusty look in his eyes that made my toes curl inside my shoes. “Hold that thought, Trix.”
Andy and Faith were waiting anxiously for me to return. “What the heck took so long?” Andy asked. “Or do I really need to ask?”
“Nothing like that,” I said, motioning for them to follow me. “I had to wait for him to finish talking to someone before I could ask him to help.”
“The hot blond guy who just came through the door like his ass was on fire?” Faith asked.
“Sounds like the same guy,” I said, trying to keep the annoyance out of my voice.
“Everything okay, Ollie?” Andy asked. Apparently, I needed to try harder.
“It’s fine, Andy. I promise.”
Archie greeted Andy with a blinding, brilliant smile and threw his arms around his broad shoulders. “I’m so excited for you. Congratulations.”
“He hasn’t said yes yet,” Andy told him.
“He will,” the three of us responded.
“I’m going to leave them in your capable hands, Arch. I’ll see you later, okay?”
Archie studied my face to see if any of the doubt from moments before still lingered in my brain. Of course, they did, but not the way he might think. He would think I doubted him, but it was my abilities I questioned. To quiet the unrest I felt in both of us, I pulled him to me once more and pressed my forehead against his.
“We’re okay, Archie,” I whispered. “I’m not running.” Then I pulled back and kissed his forehead before leaving him to help Andy and Faith get ready.
I felt the curious glances from my friends, but I kept my eyes on the stage rather than address their concerns. Things with Archie were too new and still felt too volatile. It reminded me of my first trip to the ocean as a kid. I was fascinated by the miles of sandy, white beaches stretching before my eyes. I scooped up a big handful of the fine sand, and no matter how tightly I fisted my hand, the sand still slid through my fingers until nothing remained. Is that what loving Archie would be like?
I heard Trix’s jubilant voice as she returned to the stage to introduce the next act which happened to be Madame O-Feel-Ya-Peach dressed as a splendid Dolly Parton. I set aside my insecurities and cheered and clapped as Peach performed a rousing version of “Nine to Five.” Just as the song ended, the curtains parted and out walked Andy dressed as…
“I thought he was supposed to be Kenny Rogers,” Adam said. “He looks more like the crazy guy who did all those dirt bike stunts while wearing a leisure suit.”
“He’s just missing the cape,” Brent added.
I grinned because he did look more like Evel Knievel than Kenny Rogers. All that mattered was how happy Peach looked when the music for “Islands in the Stream” started playing. Andy’s voice was shaky when he started singing the first verse, but it got stronger as he gained confidence. How could he not when Peach was smiling and swaying to the music and looking at him like he was the best thing ever put on earth? The crowd went wild when Andy started swaying and dancing too. I looked over and saw a large group of people wearing various expressions of awe and love. I’d met several of them either here or at our annual NA chapter picnic for our families.
When the song ended, Andy dropped to his knee and asked Milo to marry him. It came as no surprise to any of us when Milo joyfully and tearfully accepted his proposal. Andy and Milo didn’t join the crowd of us waiting to congratulate them for quite some time after they left the stage, but it was understandable they wanted a few minutes to celebrate alone. Knowing Milo, he didn’t want to take away attention from the queens performing on the stage either, so it made sense when they didn’t appear until after intermission.
They were swallowed up in a sea of love and happiness which was how it should be for every couple who found the person they wanted to spend their lives with. I found myself feeling more choked up and emotional than usual, but this one was personal. These were two people I cared greatly for. It took them several minutes to hug their way over to our table. When they arrived, Milo hooked his arm around Andy’s waist and leaned into him.
“Ollie, we’d like to ask you a favor,” Milo said.
“Sure.”
“We’d like for you to officiate our wedding.”
The damn broke and happy tears spilled down my face. “I’d be honored.”