KALEB STARTED TO WALK TOWARD me, but Archie stepped in front of him. “Please return to your seat, Mr. Jacoby.”
“I…um…sure,” he said, looking and sounding as stunned as I felt last night. “I’m sorry.”
Archie held out his hand for me to precede him then pulled out his desk chair, gesturing he wanted me to sit down. Like I’d done for him before, Archie stood behind me and placed his hand on my shoulder.
“I want to be very clear about something, Mr. Jacoby,” Archie said firmly. “Interviewing potential residents is part of the normal process. I need to make sure I’m not allowing people to move in who disturb the peace at Ryan’s Place which includes weeding out self-hating gays who borderline on homophobia. Am I clear?”
Kaleb nodded. “I’m not self-hating or homophobic. I…had a troubled past, but I’m not the same person anymore.”
“Before you convince me,” Archie said, “you’ll have to convince Oliver. I believe the two of you have met before, Mr. Jacoby.”
Kaleb closed his eyes and swallowed hard, and for a brief moment, the boy I’d fallen hard for as a teenager replaced the man in the chair across from me. “Ollie, there’s nothing I regret more than the way things ended between us.”
“Ended between us?” I asked incredulously. Archie’s fingers dug so hard into my flesh I almost flinched. “Ended between us?” This conversation was going to take forever if I kept repeating myself. “Kaleb, you pretended to care about me to trap me into revealing I had no intention of converting to a straight boy.”
He shook his head vigorously. “That’s not true, Ollie.” He took a shaky breath and held up his hand. “It’s partially untrue. I did initially agree to bait you, but I fell hard for you, Ollie. I kept lying to Skip about the private time we spent together. I told him you were staying true to the mission statement you’d signed. My feelings weren’t faked, and I didn’t tell the asshole anything.”
“He presented my family with photos of us together, Kaleb.”
“He must’ve followed us and took those pictures. I never told him about our alone time in the abandoned subways beneath the city. Please believe me.”
“How can I?” I asked. “What evidence do you have to prove you weren’t lying to me all along?”
Kaleb reached inside his pocket and pulled out a worn, folded picture and a movie ticket stub that was tattered around the edges. “Do you recognize this ticket?”
“It was our first date,” I whispered. “Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets.”
“I stole one of the photos from Skip’s desk to keep.” The picture showed a younger version of myself leaning against a concrete pillar while a young Kaleb kissed me. I tried my best to forget those stolen moments with him, but it only took one picture and a movie ticket for them all to come flooding back. “I tried to contact you to explain and apologize, but Skip told me your parents sent you to live with your aunt and uncle in New Jersey.” His words felt like a dagger to the heart.
“Is that right?” I asked, not trying to hide the bitterness in my voice.
“You didn’t go live with your relatives?” he asked, brows furrowing in confusion. I shook my head. “Where’d you go live then?”
“Under a bridge,” I said with more calmness than I felt. A part of me wanted to tell Kaleb every sordid event he put into motion, but I couldn’t. I wouldn’t shame my faith by acting that way.
“No, Ollie. P-p-please, tell me it’s not true,” Kaleb asked then burst into tears when I wouldn’t recant what I’d said. “Oh my God. You must hate me.”
“Hate is a wasted emotion, and it destroys a person. I should know because it nearly claimed me. I was one of the lucky ones who survived the streets, but not without scars on my soul. With the grace of God, I have a new life that I love.” I covered Archie’s hand on my shoulder.
“You have every right to blame me for everything that happened to you, but I never meant for you to get hurt. I am so very sorry.” Kaleb rose to his feet and looked at Archie. “It’s obvious I’m not a good fit in your home, Mr. White. Do you know the name of another facility that would be willing to take me on?”
Archie removed his hand long enough to pull a business card from his desk. “I don’t know if Mrs. Madison has any rooms available at her boarding house, but you can give her a call.”
“Thank you,” Kaleb said softly, looking at the card in his hand. “This is more than I deserve.” Kaleb returned his sorrowful gaze to mine once more. A better person would’ve put their grievances aside so he could stay, but as I reminded Archie on numerous occasions, I was only human. I believed Kaleb was telling the truth. Why else would he keep those mementos? People tried to avoid the things that made them feel guilty, not hang onto them. I still couldn’t stomach running into him when visiting Archie, and I certainly couldn’t make love with him living in the same house. “I’m sorry, Ollie. If there was any way I could right all the wrongs, I would. The times we spent together were the only bright spots in my life. I’m so happy you’ve found love and happiness. I wish you all the best.”
“Take care, Kaleb,” I said. He nodded then left the room.
Archie followed behind him and closed the door, shutting us inside his office so we could have some privacy.
“Esther is just going to press a glass to the door so she can overhear us,” I told Archie.
“I love you so much, Golden Boy. Your goodness blows me away and inspires me to be a better man.”
“I love you too, Arch.” I wasn’t sure how proud he’d be if he knew how badly I wanted to search out the nearest bottle of alcohol or a hit of something to make the pain from the confrontation go away.
“You okay?” he asked, reading me so well.
“I’m not,” I admitted. “Not at all.”
“What time do you meet Drew?”
I looked at my watch and realized I had five hours before our appointment. “Not until three.”
“Why don’t you call him now to see if you can meet earlier,” Archie suggested. “If not, maybe Andy would be a good choice until you can see Drew.”
His understanding broke something inside me. I choked out a sob which was quickly muffled by Archie’s shoulder when he held me tight in his arms.
“Let it out, baby,” he whispered in my ear. “I’m no expert, but I know it’s unhealthy to hold these toxic emotions inside you. I’m here however you need me.”
Once I calmed down, I called Drew. He was a freelance writer for several publications and was able to meet me in thirty minutes. “I can’t go without talking to Mama first.”
“I can’t believe they haven’t busted down the door yet.”
“You had about thirty seconds left,” Mama said. “It’s a terrible thing to hear your child crying their broken heart out.”
Archie released me to cross the room and open the door. The three ladies burst into the room like it was Macy’s Black Friday Sale. Mama reached me first, and her hug lingered until she felt me relax.
“I love you so much, Oliver Knight. You’re a good man, and your father would be just as proud as I am right now.” Making Pastor Randall proud was my number one goal when I left that jail. I wanted to earn his trust and respect and be worthy of the chance he gave me. “You go on and meet with Drew. Be sure to call me later, okay?”
“I will, Mama.” I hugged Esther and Maria too then they followed Mama out of the office, leaving me alone with my guy again. “I’ll be back soon, Arch.”
“I love you, Ollie.”
“Love you too.”
Archie’s sweet goodbye kiss was the balm I needed for my bruised and battered soul. I wasn’t in any condition to drive, so I walked to Claire’s. Her big smile dimmed a little when she saw me.
“Everything okay?”
“It will be,” I said, and I believe it was true. “I’d like one of those pumpkin pie cupcakes and a salted caramel mocha. That will steer me in the right direction.”
“Please tell me you’re not upset about the pompous windbag who harassed you yesterday.”
“Not in the least. Life just threw me a curveball, Claire. I’m meeting a good friend who will help me process and get back to feeling like myself.”
“Okay, Ollie.”
I’d just sat down with my treats when Drew came into the store. He took one look at Claire and stopped in his tracks.
“Hi,” she said cheerfully. “Can I help you?”
Drew just stood there staring, so I got up to rescue him. “You’ve seen pretty women before, Drew.”
“Not like her,” he said.
“Claire, this is my friend I was telling you about. His name is Drew, and he’ll take a black coffee and two of your peanut butter cookies. My treat.”
“You told her about me?” Drew asked when she turned her back to pour the coffee. “What did you say?”
I snorted. Drew’s enamored reaction to Claire chased away some of the chill that had permeated my body. Helping people had always made me feel better which was my favorite thing about being a pastor. “I only told her I was meeting a friend.”
“Oh,” he said, watching her every move. He stiffened when she turned back around with the cup of coffee and smiled at him. Claire set the coffee down then reached in the display case to pull out three big cookies.
“I threw in an extra cookie since it’s your first visit to my coffee shop,” she told Drew.
“How do you know it’s my first visit?” Drew asked, finally finding his voice in front of her.
“I’d remember seeing you here,” she said then shot him a playful wink.
I paid for Drew’s coffee and cookies then handed them to him. “Come on, Romeo,” I whispered. “I got us a corner table.”
Once Drew was away from Claire’s beauty, he returned to his usual, unflappable self. “What’s up, Ollie?”
Drew patiently listened as I told him about the events occurring over the last twenty-four hours. “That’s a huge shock,” he said when I finished. “Do you believe he’s telling the truth?”
“I do, but the information is too recent for me to process how it changes things or if it does at all. Learning Kaleb didn’t mean any harm doesn’t change what happened to me.”
“It doesn’t, but he becomes one less ghost in your past who can pop up out of nowhere and send you into a tailspin.”
“True,” I admitted. “I know at some point I want to start working on forgiving Kaleb. I’m just not there yet.”
“How strong is your need to drink or get high?” Drew asked me.
“It comes and goes. Earlier it was much stronger, but it’s better now.”
“You know what you need to do right now. Stay away from people and situations that are triggers and avoid places where it’s easy to give into temptation.”
“Like a bowling alley?” I asked.
“Is this bowling alley a place you normally go to without issues?”
“I bowl there every week in a league.”
“You should be okay, but you should leave if you start to feel off.”
“My team is made up of recovering addicts, so I’ll be in excellent company if I need help.”
“I’m also just a phone call away. You’ve done amazing things with your life since I met you thirteen years ago. I’m proud of you, Ollie.”
“Thank you, Drew. Your regard means the world to me.”
We lingered at the table talking for a few hours, catching up with one another’s lives. We ordered another round of coffees but skipped the desserts the second time around. I didn’t get back to Archie’s until after three. For once, no one was watching television, and Esther wasn’t in the kitchen. I heard Archie speaking to someone on the phone about quarterly returns and other accounting mumbo-jumbo which added to my brain fatigue. I grinned as I let myself in his room because those doors really were an issue. I lay across Archie’s bed, planning to let him know I was back as soon as he got off the phone, but I must’ve ended up falling asleep. The next thing I knew, he was gently kissing me awake. The interior of the room was dark, telling me I’d been asleep for a long time.
“What time is it?” I asked, sitting up so fast we nearly knocked heads.
“Take it easy there, killer. We still have a few hours before we need to be at the bowling alley. I thought you might want to take a shower to wake up while I cook us dinner.”
I narrowed my eyes at him because he looked way too happy about cooking. It was his least favorite thing to do. “What are you cooking?”
“Well, I stumbled across this recipe for a fancy grilled cheese sandwich and tomato soup.”
“Stumbled across it, huh? Mama didn’t give you a gentle push?”
“Millie might’ve said it was your favorite thing to eat when you were upset. She also said it was the first thing you wanted to make for people who were important to you. People like me,” Archie added, recalling the night I’d made the same meal for him.
“It’s true,” I admitted. “I think a shower sounds lovely.”
“Take as long as you need, baby.” Archie caressed my face then kissed my forehead before he stood up.
Archie’s nurturing didn’t make me feel like less of a man or helpless; his attention showed me how much he cherished me. I’d do the same for him if the situation were reversed. I took my time in the shower just like he’d said. I let the hot water cleanse me, relax me, and visualized it washing the ugliness away down the drain with the body wash and shampoo. When I was done, I felt a lot better. I looked at my reflection while I brushed my teeth and took inventory of my emotions. I still felt battered and bruised, but I knew I was going to be okay. I felt stronger than I had that morning and was confident going to the bowling alley was safe. In fact, there wasn’t a better group of guys to be around when my chips were down.
Archie’s grilled cheese sandwich tasted even better than mine. “You used Gruyere cheese as I did, but I see you’ve gone an extra step. The outside of this sandwich is pure perfection. Do I see rosemary on this bread?”
“I made a rosemary butter to put on the outside.” He looked so proud of himself. “I added a special touch on the inside to make it creamier. Can you figure it out?”
I took another bite and closed my eyes so his smug smile didn’t distract me. “Mayo?” I asked.
“Yes!” he said, sounding like a proud teacher. “Millie gave me the basics, but I wanted to step up my game for my man.”
“Thank you for today, Archie. Your thoughtfulness and your—” He silenced me with a kiss.
“It’s what you do for people you love.” Hearing him say he loved me was still so new and thrilling. Looking into his smiling eyes, I knew the sentiment would never grow old and boring. “Eat up, Golden Boy. The Broken Halos are a few wins away from a championship trophy.”
When we arrived at Queen City Lanes, my mood soared even higher when I saw who our opponent was.
“Huddle up, team,” I said, gesturing for the guys to gather around me. “Team Righteous Brothers consists of the local homophobic pastors and preachers, including the man responsible for causing Henry’s current troubles.” The last part was directed at Archie since the rest of them hadn’t met Henry. “I know this isn’t very Christian of me, but I want to kick their asses so bad they leave here crying.”
“Savage,” Keeton said. “I like it.”
“Let’s do it,” Milo said.
We all put our hands in the middle and Andy said, “Broken Halos on three. One. Two. Three.”
“Broken Halos!” we all said loudly, earning glares and sneers from our opponents.
“Preacher Daily,” I said, approaching the lanes with my team following closely behind me. “How unpleasant it is to see you.”
“I was just about to say the same thing. Do you pansies think you can beat us?”
“I don’t think we can; I know we can.”
“God is on our side,” he said with a sneer.
“We’ll just see about that, won’t we?”
It wasn’t even a contest. All of us threw strikes our first time up to bowl, and it threw them off their game so bad they never recovered. I was so busy focusing on beating those jerks, I hadn’t thought about drinking or scoring drugs once. My high came in the form of putting Daily and his hateful crew in their places. It might’ve been a sin to act so smugly, but he had it coming. I did try to do the gentlemanly thing and offer to shake his hand, but he jumped back like I held a poisonous snake in my hand.
“I don’t want to catch something,” he said.
“You mean like humanity and kindness?” I asked as he rapidly retreated.
I stopped at the bathroom while Archie returned my shoes. I was surprised when Pastor Daily’s son, Geoff, followed me into the bathroom.
“It’s not safe for you to be in here with me right now, Geoff.”
“Please,” he said dramatically, “Father nearly left scorch marks on the floor getting out of here. I didn’t know he could move so fast.”
“Did you want to talk to me about something?”
“How’s Henry?” he asked softly. “Is he doing well?”
“He’s doing much better. I know he’d like to see you, and visitors are always welcome.”
“I don’t know, Pastor Ollie. If my dad ever found out…” His words died off, but I didn’t need him to finish.
“I want you to listen to me, Geoff. I’m just a phone call away if you ever need to talk to someone, okay? My cell phone number is on my website and don’t hesitate to use it, especially if it becomes unsafe for you to live at home.”
Geoff frowned, and I expected him to deny it would ever be necessary, but he didn’t. He simply nodded then left the bathroom.
I found Archie leaning against my car when I exited the bowling alley. “Let’s go home, Ollie.”
“Yours or mine?” I asked.
“Doesn’t matter. I only want to be with you.”
I ended up driving to my house where we could have the place to ourselves and make as much noise as we wanted. It turned out to be the best decision since neither of us was in the mood to stifle the joy we found in each other.