CHAPTER FIFTEEN
Ben
“Have you seen the dailies?” Scott smiled over a cup of coffee.
“I’m not much for the headlines. You know that.” I watched him scroll through his phone for the third time this morning, glad that was not my job.
“I know, man, but this is pretty damn exciting. Your face is on everything. Everything.”
I waited for a waitress to refill my coffee. Since word had gotten out that the secret movie location was no longer secret, I could barely leave the hotel. Scott had agreed to meet me in the hotel restaurant, where other celebrities met without being hounded by the press.
“Listen to this one: Is Ben Baldwin up for the role of Julian Love? Yes, definitely yes.” He turned the screen around so I could see it. “And look at that picture of you. It’s fitting for the part. When did you pose in that suit?”
“I think it’s from the Spy Cross campaign. Suits by day, black ops by night.”
“Right, right. That was a great movie.” Scott leaned back in his seat, grinning. “This is unbelievable. We knew it would be huge. But this huge? Come on, man—not even a smile?”
I faked a toothy grin. “I’ve got other things on my mind.”
“What could be bigger than this? You are officially an international topic of conversation. You’ve made it. You thought you were big before, but this, this is it.”
I nodded at the waitress when she returned to the table and filled my cup to the brim. “Look, you told me I didn’t have much of a choice. I wasn’t exactly ready to retire, so I’m dealing with it.”
“Dealing? I don’t want to hear that. This isn’t a life sentence. It’s a gift. A beautiful, career-defining gift.” Scott put his phone facedown on the table and leaned forward. “Tell me why you got into acting.” His tone had quickly changed.
“What do you mean?”
“What makes someone who could have played in the NFL hand that over for this?”
“I think my NFL prospects have been blown out of proportion like everything else I do. I wasn’t going to go that high in the draft. Besides, I don’t know if I can explain it.” I reclined in my seat.
“Try me.” He looked sincerely interested.
“All right. I feel something when I do it. It’s a rush. It’s as big, no it’s bigger than throwing a touchdown. It’s a high that I haven’t felt in any other kind of work.” I picked up the mug. “Stepping through that adrenaline, pushing through it—that’s how I know I’m doing something. It gives me a feeling of…” I searched for the right word. “I guess accomplishment.”
“Then, why aren’t you owning that right now?”
“What do you mean?”
“This is your time. You’re playing the role of a lifetime. You’re popular, you’re liked, women are throwing themselves at you, and you’re doing something you love. Instead, you look like someone shot your dog. Come on, man. Enjoy it. This ride is never guaranteed. You are going to be a part of movie history because of Love & Bondage. You don’t want to look back on this time in your life and think it was a miserable experience, do you?”
I couldn’t go there. I couldn’t tell Scott that without Chelsea everything felt empty and wasted. On the set, Rebecca made everything complicated. I wanted to love the role. I wanted to be Julian Love. I wanted to embrace the transformation that should be taking place. But I was afraid if I truly committed to it, I’d leave Chelsea behind and somehow relent to Rebecca. I couldn’t tell him all that. Better to just leave it alone.
“You’re right. I’ll work harder on looking happy.”
“I don’t want you just to look happy. Be happy, Ben. Enjoy this ride.”
“Got it. Happiness all around.” I smiled wider this time, actually feeling some of Scott’s pep talk taking hold.
“Good, because tonight you’re going to a party.”
“I never got an invitation for a party.”
“You need some fun. You need to get out and see what you’ve created. I’ll meet you in the lobby at nine.” He folded his napkin and tossed it on the table. “I’ve got a few calls to return on your behalf. See you then?”
I chewed over my options. It was either the party or another lonely night in the cold suite. “See you then.”
***
California nights were always cool, but perfect for outdoor parties. I walked into the Hollywood Hills estate nodding and grinning. Only a few steps onto the patio and the crowd parted to make way for Scott and me.
“See, what did I tell you?” He whispered in my ear and patted me on the back. “You’re already a legend.”
I smiled. “I think you’re overacting just a bit. You haven’t been out of Texas enough.” I joked, but I couldn’t help but notice that people who were usually my peers were treating me differently. Scott wasn’t completely wrong.
“I’ll get us some drinks. Mingle. And remember, you’re here to have fun.” He pointed at me before disappearing for the bar.
The party was outside on the pool patio overlooking a steep descent into a ravine. A long glass wall bordered the edge of the property, giving the illusion that you could just drop right down into the abyss.
I strolled to the edge and peered over the side. The lights stretched out until eventually the bottom was dark, and I had no idea how far it was to the bottom. I stepped back.
I felt the graze of a hand along my shoulder. I turned to see Annalise Duchamp next to me.
“So, what do you think is down there?” she asked, keeping her gaze on the darkness in front of us.
“Definitely wildcats, maybe a bear or two.”
“Have you ever seen any up close?”
“I’ve seen plenty on my ranch. I’ve got all kinds of wildlife running out there.”
I noticed she had yet to face me. Annalise was one actress I had always wanted to meet. She was in A Lonely Night, my friend Clara’s first novel turned screenplay. I always thought we’d have something in common since I had starred in Wanted, which was kind of a pseudo-sequel based on another one of Clara’s books. It was one of those Hollywood things that made us part of the same clique, even though we had never crossed paths.
“You like the wild?” She stood on her tiptoes, leaning closer to the glass. It made me uncomfortable how close she was to the edge, even with the barrier. I wanted to grab her shoulder and pull her back from the ledge.
“I guess you could say that. I like nature. I’m an outdoorsy guy.” I shoved my hands in my pockets.
“I was wrong about you, then.” Finally, she pivoted and looked at me. Her auburn hair looked almost black under the night. It was layered around her shoulders, and she was wearing a strapless black dress.
“How so?” I asked.
“I’m just saying it’s nice to still be surprised when you meet a big movie star.” She winked.
“Big movie star, huh? What about you? You’ve got an Oscar nod, and I don’t have half the titles under my belt you do.”
“That doesn’t mean much anymore. It only matters what movies you do. Looks like you choose wisely.”
I hesitated. “Talking about Love & Bondage?”
“Of course. Isn’t that what everyone is talking about?” She cocked her head to the side. “You know I read for the part of Evangeline?”
I shook my head. “No, I had no idea. I kind of came into the film late.” I tried to shake the vision of Annalise taking Rebecca’s place on set. I debated which one would be more trouble.
She giggled and took a sip of wine. “With Rebecca Campbell interested, no one else had a chance. Even if I did want to work with you.”
I was shocked. Annalise was unexpected. “You wanted to work with me? Why?”
“Because I heard you were fun. You keep things light, but have a way of taking the work seriously. Not to mention, you’re pretty easy on the eyes.”
I chuckled. There was no way of telling how many glasses of wine she’d had. But I was certain in the daylight and sober, she wouldn’t be saying half of this. “Well, I’m flattered. Really, but I might not be as fun as you think.” I glanced around for Scott.
“I find that hard to believe.” She slid a hand along my arm, spreading warmth through my dress shirt. “Maybe we’ll get another chance to work together.”
“Maybe.” I grinned.
“Nice meeting you, Ben Baldwin.”
I nodded. “Nice meeting you, Annalise Duchamp.”
She walked back to the rest of the party, and I wondered for just a second what it would be like if this was my life. If I accepted Hollywood, if I bought a house out here, if I attended parties every night and dated actresses. Would I ever have any normalcy or peace? I knew all the answers staring into the canyon—hell no, nothing could compare to what I had found.
“Were you just talking to Annalise Duchamp?” Scott stammered, and shoved a beer in my hand.
“Want me to introduce you?”
“No, I don’t need another client.”
“I don’t mean for work.” I nudged him in the shoulder. Annalise was gorgeous, even prettier in person. If I wasn’t with Chelsea, I would have waited in line to meet her too. She was subtle and mysterious. It worked for her on and off screen.
Scott laughed. “Not tonight. I can’t. Hey, listen. I saw a few studio heads at the bar. Want to move in that direction?”
I’d rather stare at the canyon and count window lights, but this was for work. “Sure. Lead the way.”
For the next three hours, I mixed and mingled with every executive, writer, producer, and director at the party. By the end of the night, I had met absolutely everyone in attendance.
Scott looked happy in the car on the way back to the hotel.
“You did great tonight.”
“Thanks.” I knew this was another part I had to play.
“I appreciate you going. I know your heart wasn’t in it, but I think it was important for the studio execs to see you in action. They’re banking millions on you, and now they know you can deliver when you have to. You’re not just a cowboy, boots, and beer guy.”
I turned toward him. “Is that what people think of me?”
“Not exactly, but you’re from east Texas.”
“You’re from east Texas,” I retorted.
“But I’m not the one carrying the movie on my back. It’s a little different.”
I wondered how much he was keeping from me. It was his job to filter information, but right now that didn’t feel good. I didn’t like being in the dark.
“You never told me anyone was nervous I couldn’t pull this off. Is that what this party was really about? Dress me up and show me off?” I had liked Scott up to this point, but I was getting angry.
“Ben, it’s my job to keep that stuff away from you, right? You don’t need to know all the behind-the-scenes politics. All you need to know now is that you successfully eased everyone’s minds. You looked like James Bond tonight, not John Wayne. And that’s the point you had to prove. You were meant to be Julian Love, and now everyone else knows that too. It’s better you didn’t know ahead of time.”
I settled back into my seat. Was this true? Did people think I was a good-time, fun-lovin’ Texas cowboy all the time?
The car stopped in front of the hotel and I jumped out.
“Man, wait, don’t be mad. I swear I’m looking out for you and your career.” Scott attempted to step from the car.
I landed a hand on his shoulder. “I’m not mad. You opened my eyes to some things I had forgotten to take a look at. Have a good night. We can talk tomorrow.”
He looked like he was going to follow me into the hotel, but he eased back into the car.
“All right, man. If you say so. I’ll call you in the morning.” He closed the door and the car rolled out of the parking lot.
I strolled into the hotel and sat at the bar.
“Two shots of tequila.” I held up my fingers at the bartender. I had some thinking to do.