CHAPTER EIGHT
Chelsea
Three months seemed like an eternity as I faced the suitcases lining the hallway outside of Ben’s bedroom. My eyes stung from the salt ready to splash over with full tears, but I had managed to keep them hidden all morning. I could get through one more hour.
Ben walked toward me. He was giving Nan instructions on running the ranch while he was gone. I knew she must be more than capable given what she had accomplished during the summer when he was hiding out on Brees Island.
He stopped in front of the bedroom door. “All right, Nan. You holler if you need anything, or if this one gives you trouble.” He slung his arm around my shoulder.
“We certainly will, sir. Have a good time on the set.” Nan smiled weakly then turned toward the staircase.
I still wasn’t sure she had warmed up to me, despite my trying to be polite and cheerful every chance I got. Nan was always pleasant but seemed to hold back on our exchanges, as if I was a temporary guest she tolerated with her best manners.
“Think I’m all packed.” Ben looked at the luggage.
“I never knew you could pack so much. Didn’t you only have one bag at the Sand Dollar?”
“True. But this is different. It’s work. I have to have press wardrobe and event suits. L.A. isn’t like Brees.” He looked sad as he said it. “When I’m not on the set, Scott has me booked on every talk show in town.” He kicked the edge of a suitcase lightly.
He pulled me into the bedroom and closed the door behind us, locking it. “Have you made a decision about moving in while I’m gone? I can have a moving truck at your place, ready to pack you up tomorrow. I’ll fly Cindy and Hayden out so you can spend time with them. Just say the word.”
I didn’t know how my mom and dad would react to such an offer. I knew Ben wanted me to say yes. Ever since our night at the dance hall, he had dropped hints, given me a set of keys, and made sure everyone on the ranch knew I wasn’t a short-term visitor. Something was still holding me back. I couldn’t tell him what he wanted to hear.
Part of it was my parents. They would never support me moving in with him. Despite my father’s habits, he wasn’t going to allow his daughter to shack up before marriage. But it was something more than just them. I hadn’t figured the other part out yet.
“I’m going to stay here while I work on the album with Quinn. You know that.” I sat on the edge of the bed. He was right. It didn’t make any sense to get an apartment right now.
“That’s not what I mean. I want to know you’re going to be here when I come home. Baby, come on. All of this—” he waved his arms around “—is yours. All of it.”
“I will be here when you’re finished with the movie. I just don’t know about living together. I think we should take it slowly. You have the movie. I have the album. There’s a lot going on right now and we don’t need extra pressure.”
He brushed the hair off my shoulder. “You know I’m completely in love with you, don’t you?” I felt the warmth of his lips brush along my neck. “There’s no pressure in that.”
I nodded, not able to say anything.
“I’m not giving up on this, Chelsea.” He turned me so that I was facing him. “When the movie wraps, you are moving in here with me.”
I knew that look in his eyes. It was the same one he gave me in bed, when he was determined to get what he wanted. It was pointless to argue with him right now.
Before I could protest or start my slow-down speech again, his mouth was on mine. I felt myself falling back on the bed.
“Now, we have one hour until I’m getting on a plane for California.” His hand moved under my T-shirt. “Let’s do something we can both dream about tonight.”
“Like what?” I teased.
He stripped the shirt over my head. His hands were immediately on my jeans. I lifted my hips as they slid down my hips and onto the floor.
Ben kissed behind my ear as my nipples perked. His voice was low and sexy. “Should I tie you up again?”
My eyes flashed to his. “Yes,” I whispered. I loved how it felt to belong to him. The way he worshipped my body. The way he sent one electric wave after another through my core.
He reached in the bedside table and revealed a long silk tie. He held it as I held my wrists forward. He wound the fabric around before securing it with a tight knot against the bedpost. I could wiggle and move but there was no breaking away from the bed.
He grinned as his jeans joined mine.
“You’re so fucking beautiful.” He threaded his shirt over his head and I couldn’t help but lick my lips at the sight of his chest. Rippled and toned. Still tan from the days on the beach.
He was perfect. And he was mine.
His hands roamed my body, making me gasp at every turn. He twisted my nipple, while his fingers slipped over my clit, tugging enough to make me arch my back.
I wanted more, but I couldn’t grab him. Hold him. Push him.
He pushed his fingers inside my pussy and I moaned with relief. But as soon as I felt the build of my orgasm he withdrew them, sliding my thighs to the side.
I was bare. Exposed. His.
I was like a live wire. My body was worked up. He touched and toyed, but never gave me what I wanted—him.
I panted. “Please, Ben,” I begged.
My hips swayed from side to side as he made a figure eight from my thigh, over my clit and to the other thigh. I bit my lip. “Please.”
“Please, what?”
I tugged at the restraints on my wrists. I just wanted to touch his sculpted body. I wanted to dig my nails into his back as he slid inside me. I was breathing erratically.
“Fuck me, or I’m going to die,” I breathed.
His eyes turned to complete smolder and I knew he felt the same way.
His cock bobbed between my legs. The vein running the length of his shaft a deep purple, pulsing with uncontrollable want.
His hands landed on mine, tangled in the silk tie as his cock drove into my pussy with a powerful thrust.
“Ohh,” I whimpered.
It felt good. Too good. I had nowhere to go. His body covered mine. He kissed me with the kind of fever that blistered my lips.
I yanked harder at the bed, but it only encouraged him more, to fuck me harder, deeper.
The sweat pooled between my breasts as our bodies rubbed and slid over the other. Ben jerked back and I looked at him. He flipped me over on my stomach, my bindings twisting on the post. He lifted my hips as he pushed inside me.
“Fuck, baby,” he growled. His palm solid on the small of my back.
This I liked. I had more leverage even with my hands tied together. I matched his thrusts. I widened my legs. And when his hands circled my waist, grazing over my clit I was lost.
I screamed as the orgasm took me, crashing over my glistening heated skin. Sinking into my pores, coursing through my veins with power.
Ben held my hips, thrusting into me. He pulled my legs out from under me as he collapsed against my back. He rooted himself in my heat as he kissed my neck.
“I love you.”
I nodded, trying to find words. “I love you too.”
His climax came and he groaned, pushing himself to new depths.
I’d never felt love like that. Heat. Passion. I was his. And I had no idea how I was going to make it the next few months without him.
***
The ranch was enormous, empty, and quiet without Ben. I tucked my feet under my legs and tried to think of another line for the lyrics that were staring at me from my notepad. I was supposed to meet Quinn in the morning with the bones of a new song. So far the page was mostly blank.
Lenny had brought me a glass of wine and even started kindling in the massive fireplace. Nothing cheered me up. Nothing could warm me now that Ben was on his jet to L.A. Nothing.
“Can I get you something else?” Lenny hovered nearby.
“No, thank you. I’m fine. Really.” I said it, but even I wasn’t convinced. Why did it feel like breathing hurt?
“Ok. I’ll be in the back if you need me or Nan. Anything at all. We’re just a few steps that way. Ten steps, twenty at the most.”
“Thanks, Lenny.” I offered a soft smile, knowing I wasn’t fooling anyone.
This wasn’t like when I was at Paul’s house recovering from the worst heartbreak of my life. This was different. My entire body ached without him nearby. The dark wine tingled the back of my throat.
All afternoon I had wandered the ranch walls in circles. Nan probably thought I had gone crazy the way I stared at Ben’s pictures on the wall, or ran my hands over the mahogany finish on the desk. There were traces of him everywhere, but none of them brought him back. It was a miserable first day alone.
The instant my phone buzzed, I smiled. I snatched it off the coffee table, ready to talk to Ben. But Quinn’s name was on the screen instead.
“Hello?”
“Hey, girl. What are you doing?”
I wasn’t about to launch into a sad missing-my-boyfriend story. “Trying to write. What about you?”
“Did Ben leave today?”
“Yes, he left this morning.”
“Then, let’s go out. I need to take you to my favorite spot.”
“Oh, I don’t know.” I doodled a swirl on the notepad. It was the most decorative thing on the blank page.
“Come on, you can’t stay cooped up in that huge house by yourself. Ben would want you to go out and have fun, right?”
“I guess so.” I had to admit staying in the house only reminded me of him. How he wasn’t here, and why he wouldn’t be coming home tonight.
“Guess so? He is Mr. Fun. Girl, can you get one of the drivers to take you downtown, or should I send mine?”
It was the first time I would be asking the staff to treat me like they did Ben, but I was carless. It was the only option.
“I can meet you. Someone will drive me.”
“Ok. I’ll text you the address. Wear something cute.”
“I can’t stay out too late though. We have our meeting in the morning.” As soon as I said it, I realized how incredibly lame I must seem to Quinn.
Quinn giggled. “Hopefully, we’ll have such a great night that we’ll have something to write about. See you in an hour.”
“Bye. Thanks.” I hung up the phone and rushed up the stairs. I had about fifteen minutes to find something cool to wear out with my favorite singer. No pressure.
An hour later, Bud dropped me off in front of a nightclub I had never heard of.
“I’m going to park in that lot over there.” He pointed diagonally from where we were standing. “You’ve got my number, so text about five minutes before you leave and I’ll meet you right here.”
“Ok. No problem. Thanks, Bud.” I straightened my shoulders before entering the dark bar. I hoped there were enough lights to spot Quinn.
“Chelsea, over here!” Quinn shrieked from a nearby table.
“Wow, you look amazing.” I couldn’t help staring. Quinn was wearing a shirt cropped just below her bust, paired with a mini-denim skirt. If Quinn wanted to show off her rockin’ body, she was doing it.
Suddenly, my jeans and tank top seemed outdated and not nearly as edgy. I wished I had a stash of clothes in the trunk to change into.
“You like margaritas? Or how about vodka? We could get some lemon drops. Yeah, let’s get lemon drops.”
“Ok, whatever you want.” I slid into the open booth seat and checked out the club. It was dim, but my eyes were starting to adjust. It looked like an act was setting up on the stage.
A waitress arrived with a tray carrying four shot glasses. She placed them on the table in front of us.
Quinn handed me the first one. “Ok, to our first night out in Austin.” She smiled before slinging the drink back.
I followed her lead.
The drink was both sweet and sour. It made my mouth want to pucker.
“Have you heard from Ben yet?” Quinn asked before handing over the second shot glass.
“He texted me when he landed and he said he’d call tonight from the hotel.”
“I still can’t believe he’s going to be in Love & Bondage. You have to be freaking out.”
“What do you mean?” I licked my lips. The second shot went down smoother than the first.
“If my man was getting ready to be seen by the entire world doing all of that stuff with Rebecca Campbell, I would probably have a heart attack. But you seem really chill about it. You two must be on solid ground.”
“We are.” We had talked about the role. We had talked about Rebecca. But the way Quinn made it sound, I wasn’t sure we had talked about it enough. What exactly would Ben be doing on the set? Surely, they would always have some clothes on. Actors weren’t really naked for those scenes, were they?
“Good. Because he’s going to be a busy man the next three months. And I need your musical brilliance focused right here.” Quinn waved her hand in the air for the waitress. “Want another?”
I could already feel the vodka numbing my limbs, but it was welcome after the torture I had felt all day. I nodded. “Yeah, I’ll take another.”
After the next round of shots, Quinn jumped from the booth. “Come on. Let’s dance. I love this band.”
I skipped behind her, letting the crowd close in around us while we swayed our hands in the air, and wiggled our hips to the music.
I felt a hand glide around my waist and for a second, I forgot I wasn’t out with Ben. I whipped around to see a brown-haired college boy raking me over. I sidestepped his next dance move and pulled Quinn with me farther into the mob.
“Isn’t this awesome?” Quinn yelled over the music.
“Yes.” I nodded and got lost in the music again. I let my body take over as the beat consumed the club.
Two hours later, arm in arm, we walked out the front door. As soon as the flashes started going off, I realized I had forgotten to text Bud that I was leaving.
“Shit.”
“What’s wrong?” Quinn asked, smiling and waving at the photographers outside the club. She seemed at ease in front of the reporters. I tried to quell the panic that was bubbling and stood behind her.
“I forgot to text Bud.” I searched for my phone. There were five missed calls from Ben. “Double shit.”
Quinn’s driver ushered us into her car before another picture could be snapped. “Just wait it out in here with me until Bud can drive over,” Quinn offered. “He’s used to all of this mess with Ben. He’s the best.”
“You know Bud?” I questioned. Quinn kept dropping overly familiar hints about Ben’s life. How close were they?
“Of course I do. Ben never goes anywhere here without him. Go ahead call him. He’ll know what to do.”
“Ok.” But I already felt a sour pit in my stomach. I wasn’t sure if it was too many lemon drops, or screwing up the protocol for my first night out. Or maybe it was because more than anything, I wished I was back at the ranch talking to Ben.
Bud pulled up within minutes. The two drivers exchanged ideas on how to transfer me from Quinn’s limo to Bud’s car. They simultaneously opened the back doors, creating a shield. I hunched low as they shuttled me into the empty back seat.
“See you in the morning,” Quinn called.
Both doors were shut and the cars took off.
I gripped the phone in my hand with the quietness around me. I waited for the city lights to be behind us. It seemed more private that way. I was about to call Ben when I felt the lurch in my stomach.
“Bud, can you pull over?” I eked just in time.
The car stopped. I threw open the door and hovered near a bush, hoping Bud couldn’t see the embarrassing mess I was making.
“You ok?” he asked, not stepping too close.
When I thought my stomach was empty, I walked back to the open door. “I’m fine. I just want to go home.”
“Sure thing.”
Mortified that I had just thrown up on the side of a Texas highway in front of Ben’s head of security, I slumped down in the seat and closed my eyes. I was anxious for the coolness of Ben’s bed.
***
The damn crickets wouldn’t stop chirping. I slammed the phone with my palm, not caring if the impact cracked the screen or not.
When I heard the ringing a few seconds later, I jerked the phone off the charger.
“Hello?”
“Darlin’, I tried calling you all night. You ok?” Ben sounded panicked. There wasn’t a trace of his easygoing drawl.
“Yeah. Yes. What time is it?” I rubbed my head where a piercing sensation had taken over.
“Early. I’m getting ready to start read throughs for the day, but you had me worried. Where were you? I was going to call out the Texas Rangers to look for you.”
I sat upright, squinting at the sun filtering through the windows. “I went out with Quinn and I didn’t hear my phone ring. It was so late when I got home, I didn’t think I should call. Sorry.”
“Quinn, huh?”
I could hear background noise on the call, but wasn’t sure what the sounds were.
“Yeah, we had a good time.”
“I bet. She can party. Hold on.” He covered the phone and mumbled something. “Ok, I’m back, but I won’t be able to talk the rest of the day. The schedule they have us on is crazy. They want to start shooting by the end of the week and that only gives us a few days to get the script down. I was the last one to show up on the set, so I’m behind.”
“Oh.” I wasn’t alert enough to say anything encouraging.
“You sure you’re ok?”
“Yes, I’m fine. I’m going to take a shower and see if Lenny has any coffee for me.”
“All right. All right. Gotta go, baby. I’ll call you tonight.”
“Good luck or break a leg, or what am I supposed to say?” I didn’t know if the stage was the same as the screen.
“You’ve got it. Bye.”
Ben hung up, and I wished I had been more awake to talk to him. I glanced at the empty covers beside me, and rolled over to burrow back down in the bed.