CHAPTER TWENTY-FOUR
Chelsea
There might be a new chorus in the song, but I knew it felt just as flat as the last one. I told Quinn I’d work on it tonight. Driving out of the city, I didn’t know if I had it in me. It was a love song. Who was I to write about love?
It was dark when the guard waved me through the ranch gate. Ben said he’d be home, but I didn’t expect to see him. He had an early morning shoot. There was no way he’d miss that. He’d probably try to call or FaceTime later. All I wanted was a glass of wine and have Lenny fix some of his homemade mac and cheese.
I slowed the car along the curves in the road. On the way to work this morning, I noticed some of the cattle drivers had moved part of the herd closer to the dirt road. They looked like statues as I passed them. I heard Lenny mention the big auction they had in the spring at the ranch as a fundraiser. Some of the steers went for thousands of dollars. It was an annual event for the workers.
There was so much about the ranch I still needed to learn. I hadn’t even been on a horseback ride yet. Ben kept promising to take me when the movie wrapped. There was an entire stable of horses on the ranch I hadn’t met.
After today, none of that was going to happen. How could it? None of this was real. It wasn’t my home. This wasn’t my car. Everything belonged to Ben, and I had accepted it as if fairytale endings were a normal part of life. My castle was a ranch, and my prince was a cowboy movie star who was never home. That part of the ending was never in the movies.
I pulled into the garage. On my way into the kitchen, I noticed Ben’s four-wheeler was missing.
I saw a note on the counter and picked it up:
Bud’s waiting for you to take you out. See you in ten minutes.
—B.
I turned toward the door just in time to see Bud stroll through the hallway. “You ready?” He tipped his hat.
I held the note out, hoping he could explain everything about the cryptic message.
“Where are we going? Can I change?”
He cleared his throat. “I was told to take you straight to the meeting location.”
“But I—” I saw the look in Bud’s eye and knew better than to challenge him on the spot. “Ok, fine. I’ll go.”
He led me through the garage. I expected to climb in the back of one of the black cars, but he jumped on a golf cart parked behind me. “Hop on.” He patted the seat next to him.
It was dark, but after a few seconds, I recognized the part of the ranch that led to Ben’s favorite spot. I could never find it on my own, even though I had tried.
Bud took us through the last tunnel of trees, and we emerged in the clearing. The Silver Sand Dollar replica was lit up, and Ben was standing next to a campfire. Bud stepped on the brake. “This is your stop.” He nodded at me.
Reluctantly, I climbed out of the cart. “Thanks, Bud.”
“Sure thing.” He tipped his hat, threw the cart in reverse, and headed back through the thicket.
“What’s this all about?” I anchored my hands to my hips. I noticed the chairs were by the camper, and Ben had placed plaid blankets and pillows around the fire.
“You said something today.” He walked forward.
“Which thing? We both said a lot.”
“The thing about how everything changed after we left the island.”
“Oh, right. That thing.”
He tugged on my hand and pulled me to him. I tried to resist the way it felt when his skin hit mine, but the burn was unmistakable.
“Ben, don’t.” I pressed my palms into his chest.
“Don’t what? Hold you and tell you I love you?” He wrapped a strong arm around my waist, making it impossible to move anywhere but closer to him.
I looked into his eyes, darkened by the night. “This doesn’t fix anything. It doesn’t undo what I said.”
“Why can’t it? This is real. This is as real as it gets. I know that. You know that.” He moved his hands to my face. They still felt warm from the fire. “If we have to stay on the island, or here on our pretend version of the island, that’s what we’re going to do. Because I am not giving up, or letting go, or starting over with anyone else. Do you hear me?”
“But, this doesn’t fix anything.”
“Shh.” He smiled. “It does. It fixes everything.” He tipped my head back before his lips came crashing down on mine.
At first, I closed my eyes, willing my body not to react to the way his lips moved against mine. But his tongue dipped in my mouth and his hands tangled in my hair, breaking down any resistance I had cemented.
“Ben, it’s not that simple,” I whispered between kisses.
“It is exactly this simple.” He grinned. “Don’t think. Just feel.” He kissed my throat, his hands trailing down my back.
“I can’t pretend none of this happened.” I groaned. God, I wanted to forget everything except the way he felt, but nothing was resolved. Seduction did nothing to solve our problems. Part of him thought I was capable of cheating.
He took me by the hand, leading me to the campfire. “Look at me.”
I watched the flames dance in his eyes.
“Do you love me?”
“You know I do.” I whispered the words over the crackling pops of the fire.
“Then kiss me like this is the beginning and not the end.” He traced the side of my cheek. “Love me like we belong together.”
The words settled on me, filling me, clawing their way into my soul. I didn’t belong to anyone else. Only him. It was crazy to think I could walk away from him without it shredding my heart. But what if I was right? What if we didn’t work off the island?
I circled his neck with my hands and reached on my tiptoes, drawing him to my mouth. I kissed him like he was one of the songs I was writing, slow and deliberate, taking my time to make sure every touch was perfectly placed.
His tongue lashed against mine, matching the rhythm I set. I felt the deep need I had for him surfacing, taking over my thoughts, invading my blood, firing desire in my core.
I wiggled to the side just enough to ease on the blankets at our feet. Ben followed, taking my mouth again, this time at his own fiery pace. I felt all the hunger and the passion unleashed in his kisses.
“Tell me,” he growled. He pushed me back on the pillow.
My chest rose from the pressure of his hands, and my breathing quickened. Above his head was a sky full of diamond stars.
“Tell me, baby.” He nuzzled against my neck, his teeth nipping at my ear.
“Take me,” I moaned. “I want you to fuck me, please.”
His hands coasted over my hips and unclasped the button on my jeans. He sat upright, jerking on the jeans until they were in a pile next to the fire. I reached for his belt, desperate to do the same for him. The need to be a part of him, to love him just like he said was driving every fiber of my being. He wriggled out of the denim then focused on my lips again.
His kisses grew deeper and harder. I pulled on the edge of his shirt, sliding it over his arms. He had a new chiseled physique that glowed next to the fire. I ran my hands along the hard ridges of his arms and chest, pushing out thoughts of Julian Love and Evangeline. He was mine. Only mine.
He braced himself on his palms and stared into my eyes. “It’s been too long since we’ve been together like this.” He settled on his heels and flicked open the first button on my shirt. “I missed every inch of your body.” He kissed the tops of my breasts.
I moaned under the contact. He slid the shirt from my shoulder, planting kisses along my collarbone. “Did you miss it when I did this?” His tongue glided along my stomach, stopping short of the lacy border running across my hipbone.
I nodded, watching his every move.
“What about when I did this?” He pushed my knee to the side, dotting kisses along my thigh.
My back arched in response. “Mmm-hmm.”
“And what about this?” He planted a kiss between my legs, blowing a gentle, heated breath through the silky fabric.
I bit hard on my lip to stop the whimper hovering in the back of my throat. I grasped at his shoulders.
“Tell me,” he urged. “Tell me what you missed.”
I was sure it was the flames from the fire, but his eyes danced with a devilish expression.
“I missed you,” I breathed. “I missed your body too.”
Releasing the words unleashed a recklessness in me. All I could think about was being with him again, every part of him. I sat forward, pushing him on the other side of the blanket. I wiggled out of my panties and crawled toward him. As my hips straddled his waist, I kissed him roughly, feeling the sensation that was taking hold of my body.
His cock was hard and pulsing. My pussy ached for it. To be joined. I rocked my hips over his shaft, dragging my juices over his length, wanting him to know how turned on I was. That I was wet for him. Ready to be fucked. He gripped my hips and I slid backward, sucking him inside me.
I thrust my hips forward. “Oh, God, Ben,” I whimpered, remembering how much I loved his cock this way.
His hands steadied me, guiding me back and forth until there was no going back. The sparks inside me coiled tightly. I rocked deeper taking him with me over the edge of a spell there was no breaking.
He pushed forward, sending his steel shaft home. We were out of control. Rocking and fucking with abandon. It was wild and intense. When our climaxes met, I swear there were fireworks in the Texas sky glittering around us.
***
Ben’s fingertips ran along my arm. I rested against his chest, watching the flames bounce around what was left of the logs.
“I probably should get up and throw another log on.” He leaned forward.
I shook my head. “No, don’t move. I don’t want anything to change.”
“But, darlin’, it’s going to get cold.”
Night had settled around us and the air was chilly. The only warmth was from the dying fire.
“Just another minute.” I clung to his arm, pressing my cheek against his chest. Like this, I could hear his heart pounding.
He settled back on the pillows, moving his hand to stroke my back. I closed my eyes. There had to be a way to make time stand still. To bottle this moment and keep it sealed forever. The minute I let him get up and throw another piece of wood on the fire was the minute the magic would dissolve. Decisions had to be made. Dammit, I didn’t want to decide anything but to lie here with him. Couldn’t that be enough?
“My leg’s falling asleep,” he whispered. “We can go inside, you know?” He squeezed my shoulder, adjusting me off his leg.
“We can’t go.”
“All right, but I need to get this going again, or we’ll freeze to death out here. That and I don’t want any coyotes creeping up on us.”
I sat up. “Coyotes?”
He chuckled. “Haven’t you heard them howling at night?”
“That’s what that sound is?”
He reached for a nearby log. “Yep. Fire seems to deter them.”
I looked at the camper. “I guess we can move inside.”
He draped a blanket over my shoulders. “Come on. I’ve got the heat on in there.”
He led me through the door and turned on a small nightlight. Neither of us was ready for bright lights. Our eyes were used to firelight.
I pulled the corners of the blanket across my chest, connecting them with my clenched fist.
“Ben, I—” I tried to think of how to start again. To tell him I loved him, but I was scared. All I could see ahead of us was more of the same problems in the press, more time apart because of our careers. But, God, I loved him more than anything. It hurt to think the words. How could I say them again?
“Baby, I know we have a lot to figure out…” His phone started vibrating on the table. He let it go.
“Don’t you need to check that?” I looked over his shoulder.
“No, there’s nothing more important than this.” He grazed my ear with his lips.
“Ben, wait.”
His phone vibrated again.
“Maybe you should see who it is this time,” I urged.
He shook his head. I could tell he didn’t want to, but we both knew whoever it was would probably keep calling.
He snatched the phone off the table. “Hello? Mama? Ok, Mama, slow down. What’s going on?”
I searched his face for an explanation. Something was wrong.
“All right. Is Valerie with you? Ok, Ok. I’m on my way. I’ll be there tonight.”
He hung up the phone and looked at me with utter panic in his eyes.
“What’s wrong? What happened?”
He buried his face in his hands.
“Ben, what is it?” I thought about picking up his phone and calling Patty back.
“It’s Dad. He’s in the hospital. I have to go.”
“Oh my God. What happened?”
“They think it’s a heart attack.” His eyes scanned the camper. He looked lost.
“Ok, I’m going with you. Wait right here.”
He didn’t move. I raced out of the camper and gathered our clothes next to the fire. I dared a coyote to come near me.
I darted back through the door, and shoved the clothes in his lap. “Put these on. I’ll call Bud to come get us.”
Looking at Ben, I doubted he could drive right now and I still had no idea how to navigate out of this secret clearing.
I tapped Bud’s number on Ben’s phone and explained the urgency of the situation. I called Nan and asked that she pack bags for both of us. We would need to leave the house in fifteen minutes. I glanced at Ben. He was dressed, but his expression hadn’t changed.
“Bud will be here in ten minutes, ok?” I pulled my shirt on over my head.
“I can’t believe it.” Ben’s eyes misted with tears. “He’s strong. He’s healthy. I can’t believe this would happen to him.”
I took both of his hands. “We will get there. If your father is half as strong as you are, I know he’s going to be ok. We’ll be there.” I didn’t know what else to say.
I saw the golf cart lights through the window, and tugged on his hand. “He’s here. Come on.”
Twenty minutes later, our bags were in the back of the car and we were pulling out of the garage. Ben seemed to snap out of his zombie state. He was on the phone with the hospital, trying to get the latest information on Joe. He was already talking about having premiere cardiologists flown in. It seemed to give him something to focus on.
Shiner, Texas, was just like Ben had described it—two stoplights and fifty churches. We drove through the center of town on our way to the next city over where the closest hospital was.
We parked near the front entrance, and Ben ran through the doors. I struggled to keep up. Cardiology ICU patients were on the fifth floor. If the elevator hadn’t opened fast enough, I had a feeling he would have started running five flights on his own.
Valerie and Patty were in the waiting area. Ben hugged them both.
“Darlin’, I can’t believe you got here so fast.” Patty looked at her son. I recognized the worried look in her eye. The same one hadn’t left Ben’s face.
“What are they saying? What’s going on?”
I stood next to him, not wanting to butt in, but desperately wanting to help.
Valerie took over. “They said it was a mild heart attack. They are putting a stint in right now, and he should be out any minute. We’re just waiting on an update from the surgeon. They told us to wait here.”
“Mild? What’s mild about a damn heart attack?” Ben raised his voice.
I grabbed his arm, trying to calm him. Everyone in the waiting room was looking at us.
Patty laughed. “You know you sound like your father right now.”
I felt a bit of the tension ease from my shoulders. If Patty could make light of what was happening, then Joe must not be in imminent danger. Or maybe having her son nearby was a comfort to her.
“Chelsea, thanks so much for driving up here.” His mother pulled me into an embrace. I squeezed her tightly, hoping to absorb some of the worry from her. I felt so helpless watching them.
“I wouldn’t be anywhere else.” I looked up at Ben. “Why don’t I go get drinks or coffee for everyone, and you can talk for a bit?”
They all nodded. I left in search of the cafeteria. In the frenzy to make it to the fifth floor, I thought I remembered signs for it in the elevator. I didn’t know what they would serve in the middle of the night, but it looked like the express section was open. I grabbed four cups and filled them to the top with coffee, and placed them in a cardboard carrying case. I added a few pastries to a white paper sack and checked out.
By the time I returned to the fifth floor waiting room, everyone was smiling.
“What did I miss?” I handed out the goodies.
Patty beamed. “Good news. The surgeon just gave us an update. Joe is in recovery and everything went just fine. I’m headed back now to see him.”
“Oh, that’s great news.” I sat next to Ben, trying to read his expression. The worry lines had faded. He looked stunned.
“It sure is.” Patty squeezed my shoulder as she walked past us. “Ben? Valerie? You coming?”
I looked at Ben. For a second, he hesitated and I wondered if I should offer to go with him.
“Yep, we’re coming.” He leaned over and kissed me on the cheek. “Thank you for being here. I’ll be back soon.”
“I want to be here. Take your time. I have an entire bag of croissants to eat. Don’t worry about me.” I grinned.
I watched him follow his mother and sister through the ICU doors, as I bit off the end of the flaky roll. The moment they were out of view, exhaustion hit me all at once. From the idea that Ben and I weren’t meant to be together, to the incredible campfire makeup sex, to the mad dash to drive four hours to be at the hospital thinking Ben’s father could die—I was wiped out. I had scaled every emotion possible in one day.
I let my eyes close under the fluorescent lights and waited for Ben.