Chapter 37
Will
As excited as I was about how things were going with Ella and about having a baby, I was facing a choice that seemed impossible. I had gone from thinking about Ella all the time to thinking about the baby all the time. The only thing I’d been able to focus on was figuring out what I was going to do when the baby arrived and what place I was going to take in the child’s and Ella’s lives. Those were not easy decisions. Although I knew what my heart was telling me to do, my brain wavered, trying to make the right decision for everyone. That was why I ended up staying home and working in my office instead of at the corporate building.
When Ella told me about the job offer and her decision to take it, I wasn’t upset with her. She had every right to make the choice that was best for her. At the same time, though, that brought a whirlwind of confusion for me. This was where I had lived my whole life, where my company was based, and where Avery had grown up. At the same time, I was getting ready to have a new child, and if I stayed in New York, that child would grow up only seeing me on the weekends and in the summer—something I couldn’t even start to fathom since I had Avery all the time and still felt like I never spent enough time with him.
I really needed some advice, so I called my mom, knowing she would be able to point me in the right direction. I had never needed my mother’s advice so much in my entire life. It was like every time I turned around, I was calling her to talk me off a ledge or help me make an important decision.
“Hello?” she answered.
“Hey, Mom.” I sighed.
“Uh oh. What’s wrong?”
“I need some advice,” I said. “Ella was offered a really big job after graduation in Cambridge, and she is going to take it. She’s not against me going there with her, but she wants me to make my own decision. I’m lost.”
“I don’t see why you’re lost,” my mother said. “It’s simple. You need to decide whether you want to be the father of your child or the father of your child and the partner of its mother. You have to make a conscious decision about where you fit in with this baby and where you fit in with Ella. You need to remember to think about Avery, about how a family affects a child’s life, and how you see your future with Ella turning out in the end. I wish I had all the answers for you, sweetheart, I really do, but I can’t make this decision for you.”
“I need a magic eight ball like when I was a kid,” I said.
“I think if I remember correctly, that magic eight ball dictated your decision to jump from the roof into the pool.” My mother chuckled. “That was a long summer in a wheel chair with a broken leg.”
I laughed. “Maybe you’re right. I’ll leave the eight ball out of this.”
All joking aside, this was a really serious decision, one I had to really put some thought into. Of course I wanted to be with Ella and the baby, but life was never that simple. This was not just important, but it was time sensitive as well. If I didn’t make a decision soon, it could ruin Ella and me before we ever had a chance. She wouldn’t wait for me forever, and I couldn’t ask her to, either.
“Try looking at the situation from other angles,” my mother said. “Take Avery, for example. Don’t you remember what it has been like for Avery over the last two years? How he ached for a mother? How much he fell in love with Ella? These last two years were hard on you, yes, but they have been life-changing for Avery. He will grow up a different little boy than he would have if Megan hadn’t passed away. That is just the reality of it. I’m not saying he will be better or worse off, but he will be different, and while he is growing, he will always yearn for and miss his mother.”
“I know that,” I said, not sure where she was going with this.
“The reason I’m reminding you of this is so that you understand,” she said. “If you choose not to go to Cambridge, that baby will grow up with its parents living apart, which will make life for that child even harder.”
I stopped and thought about that, realizing there wasn’t really a choice to be made. When I had accepted that child into my life, I’d made the choice, and I hadn’t even realized I had. I smiled to myself and shook my head, thankful that I had my mother to talk to. I was not going to be without Ella or this baby.
“Mom, can you watch Avery tonight?”
“I sure can,” she said. “He’s already snuggled on the couch anyway.”
“Okay. Thank you. You really made me realize what was most important,” I said before hanging up.
I leaned back in my office chair and smiled, finally knowing there was no more reason to fight this. Ella and I were meant to be together, with Avery and the new baby in tow. There was no way I could keep myself away from Ella, no way I could keep Avery from Ella or his new brother or sister. There was no way I could start that child’s life off without being there from the beginning, going through all the milestones and bringing that child up in a family.
I called up my secretary and had her cancel all my meetings for Monday, unsure how long this would all take. I realized after a few minutes that Avery wasn’t even here. He was already at my mom’s. I was so discombobulated that I was running myself in circles. I took a deep breath and grabbed my cell phone, calling up the airport and chartering my private plane to Cambridge. I barely used the thing anymore since all business was done with the company plane, but I was really glad I had it today. They told me they could be ready in an hour, so I changed my clothes quickly and grabbed a cab to the airport.
The plane ride over to Cambridge was short and peaceful, and I went to work setting up some time with a real estate agent as soon as I got there. I told them everything I was looking for so they could have a route mapped out by the time I landed. Obviously, being who I was, they were more than happy to accommodate me on such short notice. When I landed, the realtor was there, waiting to pick me up. We went to about eight different houses in four hours, but I hadn’t yet fallen in love with anything.
“I have one house left to show you,” she said, “although it is considerably bigger than you originally described, in both size and price.”
“I’m not worried about price,” I said. “I just want the perfect house for me and my family.”
“All right,” she said, smiling. “I have a really good feeling about this one then.”
We drove through the downtown area of Cambridge and into the suburban neighborhoods. We passed several houses before turning down a long, gated driveway. The yard was immaculate, and when we circled around the large fountain in front, I knew I had found our home. It would absolutely blow Ella’s mind, and the amount of space indoors and outdoors would allow us to have ten more kids if we really wanted to. I could already imagine raising our children there, putting up decorations in the snow, and swimming in the pool out back.
It probably wasn’t the smartest business move ever, but since I was so short on time, wanting to give this gift to Ella this weekend so that no more time could pass, I agreed to pay the asking price, plus three percent for them to expedite everything. The real estate agent and the seller were more than happy to oblige, and we went straight back to their offices and started drawing up paperwork. I was impressed with how they handled everything, and by nightfall, I was signing on the dotted line and being handed the keys to my palace. I went back over there afterward and shook my head as I walked around the house, realizing I had just purchased part of my future.
I knew without a shadow of a doubt that I loved Ella more than anything in the world, besides Avery and the baby, of course. I wanted her to be happy, to feel comfortable, comforted, and secure, and I wanted her to be set up for success. It was going to be hard living this far from my mother, but she would understand, and I would make sure she could get here any time of the year. I left the house feeling good, ready to go back home. Unfortunately, the weather had gotten pretty bad and the pilot didn’t feel comfortable taking off in the snowfall. I got a hotel for the night and curled up on the couch in the suite’s living room.
I picked up my phone, missing Ella terribly, and dialed her number. It rang and rang, but she never picked up. I knew she was upset that my decision hadn’t been made instantly, and I could understand why it would upset her. Still, she hadn’t said anything about it, and I assumed she was either with her family or just wanting some time on her own to reflect right now. Either way, it was probably a good thing that she didn’t answer. I wasn’t sure if I could keep my recent purchase and my decision a secret from her, and I really wanted it to be a surprise.
The next morning, I woke up bright and early, ready to get back home and let Ella know I had a surprise for her. I hadn’t been this excited in a long time, and even the foot of fresh snow on the ground didn’t dampen my spirits, although the snow in my shoe did just a little bit. The whole way back home, I thought about what I was going to say to Ella when I took her back to show her our new home. Hopefully it wasn’t too late. Hopefully the time it had taken me to make this decision hadn’t forced Ella to push me away again. That would be devastating. Surely, once she knew what I was doing, she would fold, or at least I hoped so.
When I got back home, I picked up Avery and sat him down, explaining everything to him. I told him that Ella and I were a couple, that the baby growing in her belly was going to be his sibling, and then that I had bought a surprise fro Ella. We talked about the importance of a surprise and how this one would make Ella really, really happy.
“Like she makes us all the time,” he said.
“Exactly,” I replied, ruffling his hair. “So not a word, okay?”
“It’s our secret,” he said, shaking my hand seriously.
This was going to be either the best day of my life or the biggest catastrophe ever.