Joslynn followed Savannah and Chelsea into the house and then down the stairs into Brad’s basement recording studio. Her thoughts were in turmoil as she tried to make sense of the feelings her exchange with Russ had inspired.
Part of her wanted to walk away from him—run away from him—and his antiquated and far-too-macho jealousy. How dare he embarrass her in front of everyone? So she’d danced with Marc. So what? It was only a dance. She hadn’t even given the guy more than a moment of notice, and she’d been just about to tell him that she was Russ’s girlfriend. But Russ had barged right in, pounding his chest like some enraged gorilla claiming his mate.
Yet if she looked deep inside herself, she had to admit that she’d never meant enough to any man to inspire that kind of possessiveness. Men were something she played with, not inspired. She used them for what she desired, exactly as they did with her, and then she discarded them without any concern for their feelings. Not once had she let herself care.
Savannah sat in the brown leather chair at Brad’s master console, turning the chair around to face the couch that Chelsea had plopped down on.
Not feeling at all like sitting still, Joslynn did exactly what she always did when anxious. She paced. “You might as well get it over with. Go ahead and scold me for whatever you think I did wrong.”
“I don’t think you did anything wrong,” Savannah said, leaning back in her chair.
Jos whirled to face her. “Then why did you drag me down here?”
“I thought you and Russ could use a breather before things got ugly.”
“That was a good call,” Chelsea added. “He needed to cool down.” Her gaze shifted to Jos. “So did you, although he was worse.”
With a nod, Savannah said, “Lately, Russ always needs to cool down. At least he did before you two started going out.”
Chelsea nodded as well. “Ethan told me Russ had changed some since you’ve been dating.”
“But not today,” Savannah said. “His temper was in full flight again. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a man that jealous.”
Jealousy. Another outdated practice Joslynn could really do without. If Russ was jealous, that meant he didn’t trust her.
She trusted him. She did. If she’d seen him dancing with some cute girl, she wouldn’t have flipped out. No, she would have simply walked up to them and…
Yanked the bitch’s hair.
Which meant she was jealous, too. Which meant she thought Russ might betray her. Which meant she cared.
Oh, who am I trying to kid? I care. I care a lot.
“But I don’t belong to anyone,” she insisted.
After long, silent moments passed, Chelsea cocked her head. “Can I ask you something?”
Jos replied with a terse nod.
“Would it really be so bad to belong to Russ? I mean…you like the guy. He obviously likes you. You’re dating. Doesn’t that mean you belong to each other?”
The very question Joslynn was asking herself. Why was she protesting so vehemently when it might be exactly what she wanted—what she needed?
“It’s just semantics, you know,” Savannah said. “Nothing but semantics. You two are in a monogamous relationship. That’s all that’s happening. It’s not like he owns you.”
“Or you own him,” Chelsea added. “You two just want to be together and not go out with other people. That’s what a relationship is.”
Could it be that simple?
“I suppose…” Joslynn let out a weighty sigh. “Russ just threw me for a loop up there.”
“I imagine he did,” Savannah said. “But you were dancing with Marc. From Russ’s point of view, he probably saw flirting.”
“I wasn’t flirting with him!” Jos insisted.
Or was I?
She hadn’t set Marc straight right away, even though she was aware of his interest. While she might’ve been thinking about Russ, she hadn’t considered how he might feel should he see her with Marc.
“This relationship stuff is harder than I thought it would be,” she finally admitted.
Both of her friends laughed in response, which finally brought a hesitant smile to Joslynn’s lips.
“So what do I do now?”
Standing, Savannah placed a gentle hand on Jos’s arm. “First, you let him apologize.”
“Do you think he will?”
Chelsea chuckled and came to stand by them. “If they guys talk some sense into him, that’s exactly what he’ll do.”
“What do I do after he apologizes?”
“You do the same,” Savannah said. “And then you let him know that you only have eyes for him.”
* * *
Russ shoved his hands in his pockets and tried to ignore the glares Brad and Ethan were shooting at him. He was aware that he’d stepped in a big pile of shit where Josie was concerned. He really didn’t need a lecture, but it appeared they were both ready to give him one anyway.
“Exactly how many times did you get your bell rung when you played football?” Ethan asked him.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
Brad let out a snort. “He’s saying you must have brain damage, ’cause we both warned you not five minutes ago not to act like a fucking caveman.”
“I didn’t act like a fucking caveman!” Russ insisted, not realizing how stupid he sounded parroting back the words until they were already out of his mouth. Not only that, but it simply wasn’t the truth. He’d marched right up to Marc and staked a claim on Josie as though she were a plot of land. What in the hell was wrong with him?
There might be women in the world who would appreciate an old-fashioned male, one who was full of raging jealousy at the mere sight of her anywhere near another man, but his girlfriend sure as hell wasn’t one of them. He had to wonder what Chelsea and Savannah were saying to her at that moment and if they might calm her down enough that she would talk to him once he could get his head on straight.
If he could get his head on straight…
His life was a mess. Everyone had been warning him that he was out of control, but he’d ignored them. All it took was a customer saying the wrong thing and he blew his stack. Something went awry—a missed appointment, an inconsiderate driver—he went ballistic. It was amazing he hadn’t found himself in a heap of trouble.
What had caused him to become so hostile?
Dad’s diagnosis?
Or the fear he would follow in his father’s footsteps?
Things had been better since he’d started hanging around Joslynn. She’d promised to help him with his stress level, and she was making progress. But he still had a long, long way to go. His reaction to seeing her with Marc proved it.
What if his little dog and pony show over her innocent dance with Marc made her pull back? Trust was a tough thing for her to give. Every time she’d offered someone her trust, that person had betrayed her. By acting like a jerk, he’d all but accused Josie of being unfaithful. Right now she had to view Russ’s actions as another betrayal and probably thought he didn’t trust her.
How was he supposed to convince her that he was sorry for his behavior? And how was he going to get her to believe he wanted to change?
Because he did want to change. He had to change. Not only to keep his relationship with her growing stronger, but he knew that his parents needed him. He wasn’t about to let them go through this ordeal on their own.
But who would help him when it became his turn?
You can’t think like that.
He gave his head a shake to banish his worry and focused on the problem at hand.
“I need help,” Russ admitted, more to himself than to his friends. “I don’t want to lose her.”
A firm hand settled on his shoulder, and he glanced over to find Ethan grinning at him. “Good thing you’ve got friends like Brad and me.”
“Yeah,” Brad added as he closed the cover of the grill. “Friends who will help you stop looking like an asshole in front of the woman you love.”
The word slammed into Russ, as though he’d run headfirst into a wall.
Love.
I love Josie.
Brad let out a chuckle. “I can see you’ve had an epiphany, my friend. I take it you didn’t realize—”
“That I love her.” All of a sudden it was so easy for Russ to say.
With a chuckle, Ethan slapped Russ on the back. “Now you just have to find the courage to tell Joslynn.”
* * *
Joslynn watched Russ as he ate, wondering if she should say something to break the ice.
He hadn’t said much to her since she’d come back from her visit to the basement with Savannah and Chelsea, which made her wonder if he was still angry.
Brad grabbed his beer and stood up. “I have an announcement.”
“That sounds ominous,” Russ said. He turned to smile at Jos. “Maybe he’s firing me.”
Glad his mood seemed to have eased, she smiled back at him.
He took her hand in his and gave it a squeeze.
“It would cost too much to fire you,” Brad said. “And I’d have to train someone else. So, no. You’re staying, Russ.”
“Damn,” Russ said with a faux grumble.
A lopsided grin filled Brad’s face. “Savannah isn’t going to be able to headline for us after August.”
Ethan’s brows gathered. “Did her recording company finally twist her arm to get her on a national tour?”
“Nope,” Brad replied. “She’s got…other plans. Let’s just say that she’ll be too busy to sing for a while.”
From across the table, Savannah winked at Joslynn.
That playful gesture told Joslynn exactly what Brad was about to tell everyone. Her feet started a happy little dance under the table.
“We’re gonna have a baby,” he said, raising his longneck.
Chelsea got to her feet as quickly at Jos, and both hurried to hug Savannah.
“When are you due?” Joslynn asked.
“The beginning of October,” Savannah replied before taking Jos’s hand in hers. “And I expect you to be there with me the whole time. In fact, Brad and I were hoping you’d deliver the baby.”
“Of course.” Joslynn grasped her friend’s hand tightly. “So long as the doctor agrees and there aren’t any complications. One little thing goes wrong, though, and the OB takes over.”
“Sounds like a plan.” After giving Jos’s hand a squeeze, Savannah let her hand fall away. “Does Caroline know?”
“We told her this morning,” Savannah replied. “That’s why she’s with my mom. They’re going shopping for things for the baby. I told her we should wait to see if it was a boy or a girl, but she’s already convinced she’s going to have a sister.”
Chelsea chuckled. “You can always exchange girl things for boy things later if you have to.”
Moving back around the table to sit at Russ’s side, Joslynn leaned in to kiss his cheek. He turned his head so she caught his lips instead. When he eased away, she followed for another quick kiss to show him how happy she was.
“I guess we have a problem,” he said as he looked to Brad. “Who’s gonna take the headline spot while she’s on maternity leave?” His glance shifted to Ethan. “Unless you guys happen to know another country music star who might be willing to fill in for a while.” He tossed a win at Chelsea.
“Sorry,” Chelsea replied. “I’ve got the Australian tour that starts in July.”
Russ shifted his gaze to Ethan. “Well, then. Looks like you’ll have to sing, partner.”
“Fuck you,” Ethan replied in a teasing lilt. “I’ll be in Australia with my wife.”
“Wife?” Joslynn was on her feet again. “You’re getting married?”
“Yeah,” Chelsea said. “I finally decided to keep the guy. We were going to tell everyone tonight, but…” She stared at Brad. “Someone decided to let their own cat out of the bag first.”
“When?” Savannah asked, reaching over to lay a hand on Chelsea’s arm.
Ethan rubbed the back of his neck. “About that…” Then he looked at Chelsea.
“We were married last Wednesday by a judge,” she announced.
The table erupted in happy noise as the men slapped Ethan on the back and Joslynn and Savannah converged on Chelsea.
* * *
Russ shook Ethan’s hand. “I can’t say I’m surprised. I knew when you two tied the knot you’d keep it private.”
“Yeah,” Brad added, “but I figured we’d be there.”
Ethan shrugged. “You know me. Once I made up my mind, I didn’t want to wait. And Chel didn’t want anyone to have a chance to find out and alert the press. Her assistant, Addie, set the whole thing up. She got the license, sent us to a judge, and…voilà. I’m a married man.”
“Wait ’til the reporters get wind of this.” Russ felt a little sorry for them. They’d had to celebrate one of what should be their happiest days in absolute secrecy to keep from having the wedding blasted all over the place. “I can’t believe no one picked up on you getting a marriage license.”
“Addie gave the clerk a nice financial incentive to keep the news to himself,” Ethan replied. “Chelsea is going to have her publicist make a quick announcement early next week. That’s why we wanted to tell y’all today. Sorry you guys couldn’t stand up with me.”
Brad cuffed Ethan’s shoulder. “We’re just glad you were able to have some peace and quiet instead of flashes going off in your face.”
Cocking his head, Russ considered his partners. Their lives were changing for the better. A new wife. A baby on the way. Everything was lining up perfectly for both of them.
Then he glanced to Joslynn, and a warm contentment filled him. She was sitting with Savannah and Chelsea, and the three were laughing and hugging and swiping away happy tears.
Maybe my life is lining up perfectly too…
Unless I end up like my father.
* * *
Joslynn sighed, her heart full of happiness for her friends.
Savannah had always confided that she hoped to give Caroline a brother or sister, and the joy of the baby news was clear. And knowing how much Chelsea loved Ethan, Jos wasn’t surprised they’d married. Add the fact that they’d done so without any disturbance by the paparazzi made the event doubly special.
Just seeing their lives play out so perfectly made Jos think of Russ. A quick glance saw him with a grin on his face as he spoke with Brad and Ethan. As though he knew she was watching him, he looked in her direction. The heart-stopping dimple was there, making her heart skip a beat.
She’d never thought much about her future aside from her medical career. Marriage and family seldom crossed her mind. Yet as she felt herself smile at Russ in return, those notions flooded her thoughts.
Something about being with him was so natural.
With other men, she’d often felt smothered, as though she couldn’t be herself when she was with them. Sure, she enjoyed dating. She enjoyed sex. But she didn’t enjoy simply being with them. Even when she and Russ weren’t doing anything special, she was comfortable with him.
He fits.
With a shake of her head, Joslynn left the thought behind, not wanting to examine it for fear of finding herself in too deep.
Only time would tell.
* * *
Every time he stepped into Josie’s home—the Cottage—Russ was struck by how damn clean the place was. The carpet bore the lines left in the vacuum’s wake without a footprint to be found. The kitchen was spotless, the gleaming surface of the stainless-steel sink and appliances reflecting the light. There wasn’t a single dish in the drain tray.
She had to hate his place. “Organized chaos,” his mother always called it. Russ wasn’t sure the “organized” was accurate, although he was always able to find what he needed with minimal searching. Josie probably arranged the clothes in her closet by color and style. Were the hangers evenly spaced?
Most of his clothes ended up on the floor or draped over some furniture.
“Want a drink?” she asked as she hung up the hoodie she hadn’t worn in the coat closet.
Leaning his hip against the kitchen island, he shook his head. After the shitty way things had gone at the cookout, he wanted to clear the air. He wasn’t about to cloud his thoughts with booze.
She walked past him into the kitchen and plucked a glass for herself from the cabinet. Setting it aside, she pulled a can from the refrigerator and poured herself some soda, which she sipped as she stared at him.
“Quite a night, huh?” he asked.
“Oh yeah. A new baby. A wedding. A shame we didn’t have something to top it,” she replied with a wink.
He reached out to run his hand down her arm. “Maybe one day.”
Letting out a little snort, she took another sip of soda.
Unsure of what that derisive noise meant, Russ frowned. Since his revelation back at Brad’s place, he’d felt a nagging need to find out if Josie had developed feelings for him. Not that he expected her to love him. Not yet.
But he wanted her to open up to him.
He needed her to.
“We should talk about…things,” he said. “About us. About why I was so jealous.” Standing in the kitchen seemed too impersonal, so he nodded at the sofa. “How about we sit down?”
She took a rather long drink before setting the glass on the countertop. Then she led the way to the couch.
He joined her, leaning forward to rest his forearms against his thighs and feeling awkward. What he wanted was to hear that she cared, even if only just a little bit. Deep down, he thought she did—hoped she did.
He wasn’t leaving until she told him one way or the other.
God, he felt vulnerable, sitting there with his heart in his hand, hoping she’d take it from him and protect it instead of tossing it right back at him. Not that he was about to tell her that he loved her. After spending so much time with Josie, Russ knew exactly what would happen if he admitted the intensity of his feelings.
She’d freeze him out.
Although he was being impatient—another of his bad personality traits—he wanted to know if he even had a chance for the “something more” he wanted from her.
Simply having her sitting by his side was making it difficult to think. Everything about her called to him. The warmth of her thigh against his. The sweet scent of her perfume. It took all his concentration not to grab her and kiss her. At least when she was in his arms, he could feel that she wanted him.
“I feel like I should apologize again,” she said.
“Funny, I was just about to say the same thing. I shouldn’t have reacted the way I did to you dancing with Marc.”
Joslynn turned to smile at him. “I’ve learned something important, which makes me understand why you were so upset.”
Russ smiled back. “And what was that?”
“Relationships aren’t easy.”
A laugh spilled out as he leaned back, and he was pleased she laughed as well.
Then she reached over to take his hand in hers. “I didn’t realize dancing with some other guy was that big of a…thing.”
“And I didn’t realize how jealous I could be. You know, I’ve never been jealous before.”
Her brows knit. “Really? Not once?”
“Not once.” He shrugged. “I’m not like Ethan and Brad. I haven’t dated all that much. Never had a relationship that was very long-term.”
“A guy that looks like you? An NFL player? I find that hard to believe.”
“A lot of the players slept around. I’ll admit it. I didn’t.” He shrugged again. “Maybe my parents taught me better. It just wasn’t something I wanted to do.”
She squeezed his hand. “At least we’re starting out on equal footing since I’ve never really settled on one guy before. This is new for both of us.”
Russ was fighting an internal battle to just say “fuck it” and drag Joslynn to the bedroom. Holding her hand shouldn’t be at all erotic. But it was. The way she rubbed her thumb against his palm was enough to make him hard.
Then a picture of her in Marc’s arms made him see red for a moment, and he huffed out a breath, angry at himself for his irrational jealousy.
“What’s wrong?” she asked.
He replied with a question of his own. “Do you know why it was so hard to see you dancing with Marc?”
“I thought we covered that.”
“I didn’t mean Marc; I meant dancing.”
“What’s bad about dancing?”
“Because it can be so…intimate.” The sound system drew his attention. He got to his feet and strode across the small room. The flick of a switch followed by a quick adjustment of the station and he found exactly what he was looking for. Soft jazz filled the room. With a crook of his finger, he said, “Dance with me.”
Rising, she gave him a coy smile. “I don’t know…Maybe I’m all danced out for the night.”
“Dance with me, sweetheart.”
She drew closer. “If you insist.”
Before she could react, he tugged her against him and wrapped his arms around her waist.
Instead of resisting as he’d expected, Josie looped her arms around his neck and melted against him. Her body fit his as though she were made for him.
Swaying gently with the music, Russ brushed his lips against her ear and whispered, “Did you notice how well we fit?”
“I did,” she whispered back. Then she rubbed her cheek against his shoulder.
“Doesn’t that show you we belong together?”
This time she didn’t reply, and he could almost feel her pulling back emotionally.
Frustrated and impatient, he stiffened. “I’m falling for you, Josie.” When she shrugged in response, he released her and fought the urge to walk out. “Why can’t you just admit that you care about me?”
“Words don’t matter, Russ. Actions do. I’m here with you. That speaks volumes.”
“Josie…”
“What do you want from me?” The panic was plain in her tone.
“I need to know that I matter to you. I need to hear the words.”
She reached for his hand and squeezed. “Why can’t I just show you?”
His lips pulled into a grim line. “Tell me how you feel about me.”
Her hand dropped. “Why?”
Her hesitation worried him, and for a moment he wondered if he’d read her all wrong.
No. No. She cares.
She has to care.
“Because I have to know.” A deep breath didn’t help control his rising temper much. “Tell me how you feel about me, Josie.”
She shook her head, and he noticed that her hands were trembling when she folded her arms around her middle.
Russ felt as though a band had wrapped around his chest and started to squeeze, stealing his breath. “If we’re gonna stay a couple, I can’t do all the work. You have to tell me you’re in this too,” he demanded. “I have to know that I’m not the only one whose feelings are on the line.”
Her head bowed. “I…can’t.”
Although the part of him that loved her wanted to let her off the hook when he heard the tremor in her voice, he couldn’t stop pushing her. Desperate with fear, he let his voice rise to a near shout. “Tell me you care about me, or I’m leaving.”
Her head snapped up and she let out a gasp. “You’d do that? Over a few stupid words, you’d walk out?”
“You promised to be honest, and that’s all I’m asking. Be honest and tell me that I matter to you.”
“You’re being unreasonable,” she insisted.
“Why can’t you say it?” he demanded.
Joslynn stomped into the kitchen and tossed the glass in the sink. When she turned back to face him, she was breathing hard.
“Say it, Josie.”
She threw her hands in the air. “Fine! I care for you! I admit it! Why was it so fucking important that you hear it?”
Russ reacted as fast as lightning. His hands gripped her shoulders as he walked her backward, pressing her back to the wall. Face hovering so close to hers that her choppy breath brushed his lips, he savored the anticipation of kissing her. Once he let his lips meet hers, he would never be able to stop touching her until they were both naked in her bed.
So he waited, looking deeply into her dark eyes, pleased to see passion simmering there. “Because it means we don’t have to wait anymore. I’m going to make love to you now.”