The next day, Joslynn wasn’t surprised to find Russ waiting when she got to the park for her morning run. She was quickly discovering his tenacity, a trait she couldn’t help but admire. He was sitting on the same bench she usually stretched against, his arms draped casually over the back, his legs extended in front of him and crossed at the ankles.
At least he’d come ready to run, dressed in a Kentucky Wildcats T-shirt, dark shorts, and what looked to be brand-new Nikes that were suitable for jogging. The grin on his handsome face made her smile in return.
“You’re here,” she said when she reached him.
“I am.”
“Not too sore to try it again?”
“Oh, I’m plenty sore,” he said with a chuckle. “But I know the best thing to do is work through it. So tell me about this running program you’ve developed for me.”
Casting a glance back to her car, she frowned. “I need to get my tablet. I’ve got the whole thing programmed into an app and—”
Russ shook his head. “No need. Just give me the CliffsNotes version.”
“But I could get my tablet and show you—”
Coming to stand in front of her, he set his hands on her shoulders. “It’s fine, Josie. I’m not that picky about things.”
But I am! she wanted to shout.
The admission wasn’t easy. Keeping a tight rein on things was an enormous part of her personality, but it wasn’t until he’d thrown out the term that she realized exactly how much of a control freak she’d become. At that moment, she was fighting the nearly irresistible need to show him the running program she’d spent hours designing for him.
“Can’t we just…run?” he asked.
She shrugged. “I guess…”
His lips touched hers. Then he tossed her a smile that chased the frown from her face. “Let’s get to it.” Turning, he started jogging away from her.
Despite the urge to call him back to look at the tablet, she followed, happy to see no hitch in his gait that might show that his last run had caused any real harm.
Thankfully, the rhythm of the run and her desire to help him improve quickly distracted her. Before long, she was offering him suggestions and tips as they worked their way around the park.
She decided to forget the damn tablet.
* * *
Russ wasn’t about to turn into a big baby again. While Josie might’ve surprised him last time they ran together, he’d awakened that morning with the same mind-set he’d always had on the football field.
Show no pain.
The added benefit of their agreement from the night before was that he could concentrate on plans for things to do with her as a couple instead of focusing on the way his calves were screaming at him.
By mile three, he was getting close to admitting defeat. Before he could call a halt, she veered to a shelter with a picnic table. “I need to stop for a second,” she announced. Putting the front of her feet on the slab, she dropped her heels before rising on tiptoes. “My calves are tight.”
How did she know the exact thing he needed? He joined her on the slab, giving his own calves a much-needed stretch.
Eyes on his lower legs, she kept alternating between lowering her heels and then rising to her toes. “You might want to get some inserts. They’ll help those Achilles.” With a nod to his shoes, Josie said, “Those shoes look fine, but some good inserts will help you.”
“Want to go help me find some after we run?”
To his disappointment, she shook her head. “Much as I’d like to, I’d better catch some sleep. Got a shift tonight.” Straightening, she gave him a smile. “Ready to get back at it, or are you crying ‘uncle’ again?”
He returned the smile, catching his second wind. “Let’s see exactly how far you can push me.” On that, he sprinted toward the running trail, enjoying her laughter as she quickly caught up with him.
Before he was entirely out of breath again, he said, “When do you have time off again?”
“I’ve got a three-in-a-row; then I’ll have two days off.”
“Wanna go catch dinner and a movie after your three days on?”
“Sure thing.” Pitching him a wink, she sprinted ahead of him. “If you can catch me.”
* * *
Later that evening, while on a break, Joslynn filled her Styrofoam cup with hazelnut coffee. Taking a seat at one of the tables by the window, she kept an eye on the cafeteria entrance.
Savannah had called, wanting to talk to her while she was on a break. Not a surprise since Jos had reached out to her friend in a bit of a panic after Russ had taken her home the night before. Even now, waiting for Savannah to show up, she felt as though she were on pins and needles.
Why? Because Russ had used the one word that could send her anxiety soaring.
“Relationship.”
He had turned down what had promised to be hot sex because he wanted to give the two of them time to get to know each other better. How old-fashioned was that?
Yet his logic stuck in her mind, twirling in her thoughts. She’d had a few “friends with benefits” over the years, and once the sex began, that was the focus of all of their time together. There weren’t any leisurely dinners where they talked about themselves. There weren’t any dates that included things like holding hands or exchanging sweet kisses. There was only the ultimate goal of physical satisfaction.
Joslynn’s pairing with Matthew had lasted nine months, the longest of any of her other…
Her other what? Relationships? Sex partners? Fuck buddies?
And in all that time, she and Matthew had shared practically no intimacy beyond the physical. She wasn’t even sure where he’d grown up or if his parents were still in the picture.
Maybe Russ was right. If they really wanted to get to know each other, it was probably better to keep their clothes on for a while.
Thankfully, she glanced up to see Savannah waving from the cafeteria entrance. Bypassing the food and drinks, she made her way to Joslynn. After taking a seat, she gave one of her typical smiles—the content type she’d worn since she and Brad had become a couple. “Long time no see.”
“Yeah,” Jos replied. “How’s Caroline? Brad?”
“They’re great. But I think we’ve got other things to talk about.” Savannah set her phone aside and folded her hands on the table. “So, are you ready to explain those rather…freaked-out messages?”
Joslynn shifted the cup between her hands. “Yeah, sorry about those. I guess they were a little intense. I was just—as you said—freaked out.”
“Well, since all I got from them was that there was something up with Russ, I have to admit that I’m dying of curiosity. Especially when you mentioned that he wants to do something that you find…what was the word? Oh, yeah. ‘Repulsive.’”
“I said that?” Jos asked.
“Sure did,” Savannah replied. “That word lends itself to some rather vivid imaginings. So you’ll see why I’ve been dying to find out what’s going on.”
“He wouldn’t sleep with me,” Joslynn blurted out. “Can you believe it?”
Eyes wide, Savannah kept quiet.
“I mean it,” Joslynn said with a nod. “We went back to his place, and he turned me down flat.”
“And that was ‘repulsive’?”
“No. What’s repulsive is what he did want to do.”
With a flip of her hand, Savannah revealed her impatience. “If you don’t tell me the whole story soon, I think I’m going to lose my mind.”
Joslynn let out a sigh. “He thinks we should wait for sex, that we should have a…a…relationship.”
Savannah’s response was a broadened smile. “No wonder you’re terrified. You’re pretty accustomed to being alone.”
Alone.
Seemed to Joslynn as if she’d always been on her own. Always.
Her sperm donor had heard the word “leukemia” and promptly bailed, and she’d refused to waste a minute of time thinking about him after that. They’d never been close anyway since he’d been a truck driver who had seldom been home. The memories she had of him had faded to a haze.
Her mother had at least tried to be there through the worst of Jos’s illness, offering to hold her ten-year-old daughter’s hand through her chemotherapy infusions. But then work interfered, and Joslynn had spent those long days with many different people—relatives, friends, anyone who could spare the time—listening to music or watching TV. They always acted so uncomfortable, finding reasons to leave the infusion area often.
Her mother hadn’t had a choice except to work. There were bills to be paid, and if she hadn’t worked, there would’ve been no insurance to pay for the treatments. Jos didn’t blame her. But if there was one thing childhood leukemia did for a person, it taught her that when everything was said and done, she was fighting the battle alone. Her body was her own enemy, and she’d learned to face each problem with stoicism—resigned to fate and yet still ready to do what needed to be done to survive.
And no one could save her unless she saved herself. It was her own spirit, her own fortitude that ultimately allowed her to survive leukemia and the horrible process of systematically poisoning her body to rid herself of the disease.
Once the battle ended, Joslynn had vowed to help other sick people. She’d been obsessed with any subject that allowed her to understand how to heal. Chemistry. Biology. Psychology. While medical school had seemed appealing, crippling debt hadn’t. So she’d opted for nursing and had found her place in life—at least as far as a vocation was concerned. After a few years as a nurse, she’d decided to become a nurse practitioner since it allowed her to grow even more.
She’d specialized in emergency medicine because she enjoyed the frenetic pace, but when she could find the time, she visited the pediatric oncology ward, doing what she could to encourage the patients and their families, to give them hope for beating down the enemy within.
Her personal life had been every bit as deliberate. She wasn’t about to let the life she’d fought so hard to keep be defined by some man’s opinion of her, especially after watching the agony her mom had gone through when her husband left. No way. Jos had already fought one war; she wasn’t going to invite another one into her life. Besides, the one time she’d tried a normal relationship had only reaffirmed her belief that independence was the better route.
“Earth to Jos,” Savannah said, laying a gentle hand over Joslynn’s.
“Sorry. Got a little lost in thought.”
“You were looking pretty fierce there, so I’m guessing you’re not thinking too kindly about Russ.”
Russ. Joslynn was right back where she started. What was she going to do about him?
Savannah pulled her hand back. “You know, I think you’re going about this with a little too much worry.”
“Meaning?”
“Meaning you shouldn’t keep acting like he asked you to make some kind of lifetime commitment. Instead of angsting over whether you two are going to have a long-term relationship, why not just go on a few dates? See if you two click?”
Joslynn couldn’t stop a smile. “Oh, we ‘click’ just fine.”
A knowing grin blossomed on Savannah’s face. “So it’s like that, is it? Good for you two.”
“But we’re back to the original problem. He wants to wait.”
“A couple of dates, Jos. Give the guy a couple of dates. It doesn’t work out, what’s the worst that could happen?”
He could break my heart.
That thought almost made her gasp. Since when was her heart involved?
“Look,” Savannah said. “If things don’t work out, you guys don’t see each other that much anyway, right? You’re working night shifts, which means you don’t come to a lot of our Friday barbecues. And it’s not like you spend a ton of time at the restaurant.”
“Yeah, we really don’t bump into each other often.” Pretty much never.
“So, I ask again, what do you have to lose?”
“Are you happy, Savannah? I mean, you went through hell with Caroline’s father…”
“I did, but Brad is the best thing that ever happened to me. And to Caroline. I’m very happy.”
Somehow, Joslynn didn’t see Brad running out on his adopted daughter should she get sick. “Brad’s a good guy.”
“I think Russ is a good guy, too. If I were you, I’d give him a chance to prove it.”
* * *
It was only a few minutes before midnight when Russ realized he hadn’t gone into Words & Music at all that day. Brad and Ethan would be thrilled that he’d found something better to do with his days off.
What had he been doing instead of knocking heads at the bar? He’d sat down with his guitar and worked on the song he’d been writing.
He’d first picked up a guitar in middle school, wanting to impress some girl he’d had a crush on. He’d found out pretty quickly that he had a talent for it, so he’d convinced his parents to let him take lessons. Not that he wanted to be a country music star or anything. All he had to do was open his mouth and try to sing and it became quite clear that he was never meant to perform. His father had always joked that the dogs in the neighborhood would start howling whenever Russ tried to sing, which wasn’t far from the truth.
But he kept up the guitar, finding that it was soothing to play it on game days when he often got too wound up. A few songs and he could focus better. The Colts used to have a sing-along as part of their pregame ritual. Russ played; they sang.
It was only in the last year that he’d thought about writing a tune. The hobby was relaxing, which meant he should probably do it more often. His temper seemed to be getting the better of him lately. Time with his guitar, plucking out a new tune, helped him keep a good grip on things.
The song he was currently working on had been so much easier than any of his others. The melody was nearly done, and it was a tune that was soothing to the ears. But the nascent songwriter had not a clue as to what lyrics to match to it.
Was it a love song? A funny tune? Kitsch?
All of the above?
Depended on the tempo.
It’s Josie’s song, Russ suddenly realized.
That was when he understood Brad on a deeper level. When Brad had a dry spell, being unable or unwilling to write songs, it was Savannah who had inspired him to compose again—the same way the words to this new song were coming straight from Russ’s budding feelings for Joslynn.
So he’d sat down and fiddled with the words, trying to match them to the music, and lost all track of time. He thought about Josie for a minute, wondering how her shift was going. By midnight, she was probably just getting warmed up.
He scribbled a few more words down before a yawn slipped out. How could Josie handle being up—not only awake but working—so late and still face another six or so hours of seeing patients? Not only was she incredibly strong, but her body had to be on a different rhythm from the rest of the world.
Why did each new thought of her bring around a few more words to the song?
Finally setting his pen and his guitar aside, Russ picked up his phone to text her.
Hope you’re having a good night. Running in the morning?
The reply wasn’t long in coming.
Of course. See you there?
Absolutely.