2008
“Are you serious, Justin? You’re really going to ask her to marry you?” Vance and I were once again sitting in Rosie’s, having a couple beers. It remained the go-to spot for me and my boys when we just wanted to hang out, but if one of us ordered a plate of wings to go with the beers, then there was some major stuff to discuss. I had just placed a double order with Rosie.
“Yeah, man. I’ve known from the beginning she was the one. I’ve just been biding my time and saving up for our future.” I reached into my pocket and pulled out the ring I’d just picked up that day. I couldn’t tell you shit about the cut, clarity or carats, I just knew it was pretty, big, and shaped like a heart with little clusters of tiny diamonds on either side of the large stone.
Vance gave a long whistle. “Man, that must have set you back a good chunk,” he remarked.
“It sure wasn’t cheap, but I want to give her something she can be proud of, something she can flaunt to all of her friends.”
“She doesn’t seem like the type to do that. I think she’d be just as happy with something less obvious because it came from you. Don’t get me wrong though, I’m not criticizing your choice. I’m sure I’d do the same thing if I wanted to marry a girl, but let’s be honest. As men, we don’t do it, so our girl has the pleasure of making her friends envious. We do it because we can’t hang a big flashing sign around their neck that screams, Back away slowly. This one is taken!” he said with a laugh. I had to laugh too because he was spot on. I wanted everyone to not only know she was taken, she was taken by a man who spoiled her rotten.
Rosie slid two massive plates of wings in front of us before pausing to lean against our booth on Vance’s side. She affectionately ruffled his hair, which he was secretly a bit vain about. He never admitted it, but he was fast to run his hands through it to try to put it back into his supposedly “carefree” style.
“So, did I hear ya right, Justin? You gonna get hitched?” she asked in her lilting Irish accent.
“I sure hope so,” I said as I handed her the jewelry box, so she could inspect the ring. “I’m going to ask Elise to marry me tomorrow night.”
Rosie clucked her tongue as she looked at the ring, turning it this way and that, watching as it caught the light and sparkled.
“She’d be a right fool if she doesn’t say yes. Between this ring and the fine young man that you are, she’s a fantastically lucky girl.” She handed me back the ring.
“Thanks, Rosie. I hope she agrees,” I said.
Vance reached for one of the plates of wings as Rosie excused herself to help another customer. Before taking a bite, he leveled the drumette at me and said, “She will. She’s not a dumb girl, and she’s crazy about you. She looks at you like you’re some kind of god. The real God only knows why.”
I gave him a mock dirty look. “Why are you my best friend again?”
He bit off a chunk of the wing, then mumbled through his full mouth, “Because I’m awesome.” He grabbed a napkin and wiped his mouth and fingers as he smiled at me.
“All kidding aside, man, I’m happy for you. I know she won’t let you down.” He took a gulp of his beer before continuing. “You know, I didn’t think you were ever going to recover from losing Kylie. But here you are, more in love than you ever were, and with a wonderful woman. I’m almost jealous.”
“You interested in settling down?” I asked, a little surprised. Vance hadn’t had a steady girlfriend as far as I knew. He’d bring a girl around every now and then, but I couldn’t recall ever seeing one more than two or three times, and he never talked about anyone.
“Someday, sure. I’d like to get married and have kids, but I’ve just graduated from law school and am getting my career going. Unless some miracle girl comes my way, I’m happy just working and doing my own thing.”
“Well, being a man in love, I highly recommend it. Life is beautiful, bro.”
“Careful, Sever,” Vance laughed. “You almost sound like a girl,” I responded by giving him the middle finger.
Our conversation ended as we set about devouring the wings in front of us. Vance had plans to play racquetball with Griffin, so we split the bill and took off our own ways after we were done.
As eager as I was to get home to Elise, I took the long way home, just to enjoy the feeling being on my bike always gave me while I daydreamed about how my proposal would go.
The following day, I was a bundle of nerves. Elise had looked at me funny a couple of times, but to my relief didn’t ask about why I might have been acting strangely. I planned to take her to dinner at a restaurant downtown in a skyscraper with a view that overlooked all of Los Angeles. Then, we would go to the Santa Monica Pier, and I’d finally pop the question as we watched the tide roll in. At least, that was the plan. I didn’t know if I’d be able to sit through an entire dinner without the ring burning a hole through my pocket.
Just as the sun was beginning to set, I told Elise I was in the mood to take her to a romantic dinner and prayed she didn’t make the connection between that and my jittery behavior all day.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
“It’s a surprise, but I think you’ll like it. Now, go put on one of your nice dresses. I’ll wear that new suit you bought me.” Elise had decided I needed something for more formal occasions though we rarely ever went to any. When I said as much, she just said ‘Every man needs at least one good suit’.
It was dark gray with faint pinstripes. Fortunately, she’d bought a good pair of shoes and a belt to go with it, otherwise, I’d have been lost. What did I know about matching clothes of any kind? I was a jeans, t-shirt, and leather jacket kind of guy. I only owned three pairs of shoes—my motorcycle and work boots, and a pair of sneakers I rarely wore. She’d forgotten to get a tie, but just the other day she came home with a navy blue one. I’d tried it all on to make sure it fit, but she hadn’t yet seen me in it.
Elise looked like a million bucks when she stepped into the living room wearing a dress that matched my tie. It was a soft, shiny material, fuck if I knew what it was called. The dress was strapless and hugged her slender curves beautifully, making her look even more shapely than she already was.
When I was finally able to close my mouth, I pretended to wipe drool from my chin as she grinned at me.
“I guess you like it?” she asked.
“I like it very much,” I nodded vigorously. “People will be wondering what a stunner like you is doing with a guy like me.”
“Oh, be quiet, you. Go get your suit on and let’s get going. Leave your hair loose, please. You know how much I love it that way.”
“Don’t you think it would look much better if I pulled it back? Almost clean cut?” I had planned to braid it to fit in with the clientele as much as I could.
“Don’t be silly. You’ll look like one of those heroes on the covers of romance novels. Every woman will be murderously jealous of me,” she replied with a sexy wink. “Now go!”
I smiled at my cute girl and made my way to the bedroom. Once I had everything on, I fumbled with the tie. My mom had taught me how to tie one, years ago, probably for my high school graduation, but I’ll be damned if I could remember how. As I walked out of the bedroom to ask Elise for help, I heard the phone ring. I was startled when I heard her shout. Rushing into the kitchen where she was, she turned to me with terrified eyes.
“No!” She whispered. Then louder, until it was a scream, “No!” With alarming speed, she whirled around and threw the phone at the wall, shattering it into pieces. She pushed past me, her eyes filled with tears as she continued to mutter, “No… no… no.” I looked at what was left of the phone on the floor, before turning and following her to the bedroom where she had thrown herself across the bed and was currently crying harder than I’d ever heard anyone cry in my life.
I rushed to lay next to her and pull her into my arms. I had no idea what could have possibly made her so upset, but whatever it was, I’d fix it. Whatever it took, I’d do it. Anything to keep my angel’s heart together, which was clearly breaking right now.
I shushed and soothed her, rocking her slowly. Finally, the pauses in between sobs got longer and I felt it would be possible for her to speak.
“What is it, Angel-face? What’s wrong?”
Another heart-wrenching sob had her chest heaving, but she pulled away and was able to stutter out.
“That was the California Highway Patrol. They said…, they said… She’s dead, Justin. They said my mom is dead.”
The news hit me like a freight train. How could Renee be dead? We’d just seen her last week and she was fine. She’d had a clean bill of health all this time, the cancer never returned.
“Did they say why?” I asked softly, knowing it must be agony for her to repeat.
She hiccupped loudly before taking another shuddering breath.
“They said it was a car accident. She was on that weekend date with the new guy, William. They were on their way to Palm Springs when another car crossed the boundary and hit them head-on.” She paused and took a deep, gasping inhale as she began to shake again. “They’re dead. They’re both dead.” She turned into me again, burying her face in my chest, her tiny body trembling. “What am I going to do without her, Justin? My mom is my best friend!” she wailed.
I didn’t have the first idea of what I could say that would offer any comfort whatsoever, so I just held her tightly until she began to settle. I didn’t want to set off another round of tears again, but I needed to know if we needed to do anything. “Angel-face, what else did the police say? Do we have to go out there?”
She curled inward, like a little ball in my arms and nodded softly. “They asked if I could come identify her body. I don’t know where we’re supposed to go though. I didn’t get that far in the conversation before I lost it.”
“I suspected as much. Let me get you some water, then I’ll call and see where we need to go.” I hated to leave her side, but I pulled the comforter back on the bed and tucked her inside it. I trudged to the kitchen and retrieved a bottle of water before stopping and bracing my arms against the kitchen counter as I hung my head.
My heart was torn to shreds for my girl, but I also felt a loss for Renee. She’d accepted me freely almost as soon as she met me. She was a spectacular person who had seen her fair share of suffering. It wasn’t right that her life should be over when she was still so young. She deserved to live until she was very old, surrounded by grandkids and great grandkids. I took a deep breath, grabbed the water and brought it to Elise.
At first, I thought she had fallen asleep, but she opened those pain-filled eyes, and my heart broke all over again. I handed her the bottle as I leaned forward and kissed her forehead. Without saying anything, I moved back to the other room and began making the necessary calls to locate Renee’s body and find out what we needed to do. I reached into my pocket and took out the ring box that had been safely tucked inside. I opened it and stared at it briefly before stashing it in the back of our kitchen ‘junk drawer’.