Chapter Two
Rachel
I woke up with butterflies in my stomach. It was a wonder I’d slept over at all. Usually, I didn’t do well when it came to sleeping away from home, and something big was coming up. But I’d eaten well, and somehow must have dozed off in the unfamiliar bed.
“I’m sure I’m going to regret this,” I told myself as I stood up.
On the floor beside the bed was my small bag. I’d only packed some clothes and toiletries. I could have just stayed at home and come in the morning, but Nathan had insisted on my sleeping over, and I couldn’t refuse the older man anything. Not when he’d been so good to me for a while now.
I went to the bathroom and had a quick shower. Afterwards, I went back to the bedroom and dressed up, then brushed my hair. I paused right in the middle, frozen as it hit me again.
“Jason is coming home.”
My voice came out in a slightly horrified whisper. They were words I hadn't expected to hear, and they might have played a part in why I accepted Nathan’s offer so quickly.
I moved to sit down on the bed and looked down at myself. I was the kind of girl that preferred jeans and t-shirts to skirts and dresses unless I was going to a party or some formal affair, though I rarely went to those. When I heard he was coming, my first instinct had been to grab my dressiest outfit. And, there I was in my best skirt and blouse, putting on make-up and accessories that, again, I only saved up for special occasions.
“I’m out of my mind,” I groaned to myself.
Jason and I, that hadn't existed for a while, and with how things were and how they ended, I should have left them that way. So why was I so willing to turn my life upside down over this man still, even with our history?
I finished getting dressed and went downstairs. I’d woken a little late, and I found Nathan already at the dining table with breakfast served. He looked up as I walked into the room and smiled at me.
“There you are, Rachel,” he said warmly. “I was about to have someone come up and get you.”
I smiled shyly. “Sorry. I guess I was just really tired yesterday. I went out like a light and only got up half an hour ago.”
He waved a hand at me. “Don’t worry about that. Just come over here and sit with me, huh? Have breakfast. It can't be long now.”
I wished he hadn't reminded me. I was trying to put it out of my mind so the butterflies in my stomach could properly settle, but I was nervous again. Still, I did as he’d asked. Even nervous, breakfast looked good, and I decided I could at least eat. Nathan sat at the head of the table, and he motioned me to take the seat to his right, so I did. I served myself, and we spent some minutes in silence. My mind, however, was quite the opposite of silent.
Jason is coming back here. So why aren’t I somewhere else?
That thought had me pausing again. Slowly, I set down my spoon and looked over at Nathan. He was already done with breakfast, slowly sipping his tea as he read the news on a tablet, reading glasses settled on his nose. A while ago, it would have been coffee, but he’d stopped taking it at some point for the sake of his health.
“Nathan?” I spoke, breaking the silence between us.
He looked up, expectant. “Yes, Rachel?”
I took in a shaky breath, folding my hands together on the table to stop the trembling in them. It was so bad now that Nathan noticed it when his eyes dropped to my hands. He was suddenly more alert for my answer, and I smiled at him, though it was shaky.
“I’m sorry to say this so late, Nathan, but…suddenly, I’m not sure if this is the best idea.”
He sighed and set the tablet down. He reached for my hands, pulling them over so he could hold them both beneath his own. It helped a little, but it didn’t take out the worry I felt in my heart.
Maybe this wasn’t the best decision to make?
“Rachel,” he said calmly. “I can understand how hard this must be for you. But please, I need for you to be here when Jason arrives.”
I sucked in a sharp breath when he said his name. In my current state, the last thing I needed was to hear him.
“What if I can't go through with this?” I asked, my voice coming out low and hoarse. “Nathan, I’m scared. I don’t know what he’s going to do, but I can guess. He probably won’t be happy to see me here.”
“That is his problem,” Nathan said. “I happen to want you here, and he can be an adult about it and put up with it. This is my ranch. He can't send you away from here, so don’t worry about that.”
I pursed my lips. I wasn’t sure how to tell him that wasn’t quite my problem. If he wanted me gone, then I would just go. It would mean I didn’t have to look at him too much, and I would be pretty okay with that. It was seeing him that I had a problem with, after all. And not just because of what he would do and say. I was afraid for myself.
Just what would meeting Jason this late change anyway? What happened between us, happened. Jason, that bastard, chose to walk away, and I let him go. I told myself so many times that I was better off without him.
“I think I should just go before it’s too late,” I said, trying to be insistent. “Nathan, I don’t want to make things any more difficult for the two of you. I know you want to tell him something important. I don’t need to be here.”
He shook his head stubbornly. “No. What I want to say to him includes you, so wouldn’t it be for the best if you were here?” He squeezed my hands, where he still held them between his. “You do not have to worry about my grandson.”
I sighed, because I didn’t entirely believe that. Even if Nathan could reign him in, I still had something to worry about. I remembered what I was like when Jason left me alone, how difficult things had been for me since. To suddenly see him right in front of me…how could that not change things? I was dressed up and ready to see him. There was no way I could just meet him again and not feel something about it.
Nathan saw my reluctance. He pulled away one of his hands and patted me on the shoulder.
“I’m not going to force you to pander to this old man’s whims, Rachel. If you don’t want to be here, I’m not going to force you. I would love for you to stay, but not if you’re so against it.”
I felt a pang of guilt in my chest. I pulled my hands back and caught his between mine instead. I gave him another shaky smile as I gave a light squeeze.
“It’s not that I’m against it, exactly…”
“If it’s worry, then you don’t need it. I know my grandson is a jerk. I just can't sit back and allow it, though. Something needs to be done, and I’m going to do just that. You just have to sit and watch, okay? Simple.”
Simple, he said. Just sitting there and watching Jason... could anything else be harder for me?