Chapter Six
Rachel
I’d been at the hospital pretty much from when we took Nathan in. He’d already called for a car, thankfully, from one of the workers on the ranch. So we were able to get him there quickly for treatment.
The twins were called the next day. And, the day after that, we got the news that Nathan didn’t make it.
I was there with Jason to receive the news, though I wondered if he’d even seen me. Noah was out by that time, but he got the news later.
Jason…took it hard. To say he was devastated would be an understatement, and I couldn’t compare it to his careless, jerky attitude from a few days ago. I’d been ready to give up on him, but I felt sorry for him at that moment.
When he left the hospital alone, I couldn’t stop my feet from following him. I was wearing shoes with rubber soles and moved so my steps were near silent. I didn’t think he even noticed I was behind him, trying to muster the courage to call out to him until we got outside and he just stopped.
“Rachel?”
I jumped when he said my name, and whispered, “Yes?”
“I’ll drive you to the ranch. You can stay over if you’d like. I…have some things I need to take care of when we get there.”
Then, he went to his car. I’d followed him, against my better judgment, and gotten into the car with him.
Over the whole of a couple of days, Jason had changed. From the sure man, I’d always thought him to be, to someone torn. Even though he’d rejected the idea before and left so quickly after he arrived, I didn’t doubt that he meant to stay this time. He left for a couple of days, then came back with a few things in his car.
“I sold everything,” was what he told me when he saw me. “I’ll be living here from now on.”
They were the first words he’d said to me since we left the hospital, and his voice sounded so hollow. He had dark bags under his eyes, and his skin was pale. I was afraid because he’d been driving around when he looked like he hadn't been sleeping much.
More than that, I worried about what was going to happen to him.
A little over a week later, we attended the funeral. A lot of people in the town, including all the people that worked at the ranch, attended. Jason and Noah were both there, but they kept away from each other and didn’t even speak.
They were twins, with identical faces, but watching them on that day, it was like they’d switched places. Jason had always been the one with confidence, and yet, at that moment, it was Noah that held himself together better. Not that Jason broke down. Anyone else might not have noticed it, but I knew him. For a grandpa he never claimed to care for, he was taking it hard.
Is it because of guilt?
The thought made sense.
“Does Noah know?” I asked.
The funeral was over, and it was just Jason and me going back to the ranch in his fancy car, a little too fancy for living out on a farm, but I doubted he’d trade it for a standard truck. Jason disliked trucks with a passion.
“Hmm?” he hummed, throwing a glance at me.
I sighed. “Did you tell Noah that you came to see your grandpa, before…”
I let my voice trail off because he would know what I meant anyway, and it wasn’t easy for me to say. I watched Jason carefully and noticed how his hands tightened on the wheel until his knuckles were white.
That right there was my answer. If he’d told him, he would have just said so.
“At least tell me you don’t think this was your fault,” I said.
He scoffed. “What are you talking about, Rachel? Of course, it’s my fault. You think that bastard won’t rub it in my face if I tell him?”
I pursed my lips. I hadn't been around Noah much. But, I’d always known, that no matter how much they looked alike, the two brothers couldn’t be more different from each other. They didn’t get along much, either.
“Is there a reason you haven’t told him yet?” I asked because I couldn’t think of one myself. Noah would probably appreciate it. Though, not if he knew the conversation the two of them had, just a while before Nathan collapsed.
“He doesn’t need to know,” was Jason’s response, his voice hard and stronger than I’d heard since that fateful day.
“He’s your brother, though—”
“That is precisely why he doesn’t need to know. What would he do with the information, anyway? Grandpa is gone already. It’s a little late for regrets now, don’t you think?”
The last words were bitter, and I felt they were directed more at himself. I wanted to reach over and pat him, on his hand, or his shoulder. Instead, I clasped my hands together tightly in my lap. I didn’t have the right to touch him, after all. I was lucky he wasn’t pushing me away. Though, what should have been going through my mind was why I was sticking around at all?
“Don’t you think he deserves to know, though?” I countered. “How long do you think he’ll be sticking around?”
Jason sniffed. “Oh, he won’t be sticking around at all, so no, he doesn’t even deserve to know. He’s got his ranch he needs to get back to and look after. He’s perfectly fine with me sticking around and looking after Grandpa’s ranch.”
The words were sarcastic, and I ignored it when his voice hitched a little as he mentioned Nathan. I bit down on my lower lip to push back the grief myself. It was hard to believe he was gone when I’d talked to him not that long ago. I’d known his health was a bit shaky for a while, but it was still unexpected.
We came to a stop in front of the house, and Jason turned to me instead of stepping out immediately. It was the first time since that day he came back that he was meeting my gaze head on.
“I’m going to ask this of you, Rachel, even though it’s not your place, anyway. Do not tell Noah anything about me coming back, or whatever Grandpa wanted to talk to me about when he called me here. He doesn’t need to hear it, all right? I know I haven’t given you that many reasons to trust in me, but I hope you’ll listen to me this time.”
I sighed as he opened the car door and stepped outside. When he said it like that, there was nothing I could say. I’d keep his secret, even though I would hate it.
Because I couldn’t deny that a part of me still greatly cared for Jason.
I got out of the car and followed him into the house.
“I won’t say anything,” I called out, and he froze on the stairs. “Because you’re right, it’s not my place to. It’s yours.”
Jason didn’t reply to me, just continued his way up the stairs after he heard what I had to say. I sighed and slumped on the couch.
I wonder what happens now, I thought as I let my eyes slip closed.