Chapter Eight
Rachel
A few days passed. Jason and I were working well together, and he was starting to remember how things were done. Not that long had passed, and already he was less than a mess.
But, that had always been Jason. If he put his mind to something, it would only be a matter of time before he fully grasped it. He hadn't let that many people see that side of him, though, even his family.
The ranch was slowly moving back to its normal operations. It was pretty sizeable land that took a lot of work, even when all you were doing was paperwork. I also noticed that a lot of the paperwork was stuff Nathan had left alone. I could feel a pang in my chest as I thought of him being too unwell to even do his work right. The ranch had meant a lot to him, and I knew he wouldn’t have neglected it otherwise.
Everything was going fine, until I received a call, just when I’d finished getting dressed so I could go over to the farm.
“Hey, Mary?” I said slowly. “What is it?”
My babysitter sighed on the other end of the call. “I am so sorry about this, Rachel,” she said, sounding guilty. “I wish I wasn’t making this call to you right now, but I don’t think I’ll be able to make it today.”
I sighed back. I’d guessed already because there was no other reason why she would be calling, when she was supposed to see me in a few minutes. How was I supposed to handle this, exactly?
“I guess it’s something really important. You don’t usually cancel at the last minute.”
“It’s an emergency, something really important. I am so sorry.”
“Can you at least recommend someone for me?” I asked hopefully.
“I’m afraid not…”
There was no more to say. We said our goodbyes and hung up. I knew it would be impossible to find someone to help me out this late, and it wasn’t like I could leave the job to just anyone. Knowing it this late…
“I won’t be able to go in,” I muttered to myself.
Jason deserved to know. So, before I put my phone away, I dialed his number. He picked up on the third ring.
“Jason? It’s Rachel.”
“I know,” he said. “You haven’t changed your number.”
He hadn't changed his either, but it was still a surprise to hear he’d kept my number saved. I’d tried plenty of times to erase his from my phone, so I didn’t understand why he still had mine. Still, there was no denying the spark of happiness in my chest when he said it.
Don’t think too much about it, I chided myself. He could have just been too lazy to delete it, or something.
I put my thoughts aside.
“Did you need something?” he asked.
I shook my head, even though he couldn’t see me at that moment. “No, everything’s fine. I just wanted to let you know that I won’t be coming in today. Something urgent came up, and I have to take care of it. Sorry.”
There was a short silence over the line, then; “Can you tell me what it is?”
No.
There was absolutely no way I could tell him about this, not this late. He would have some choice words to say, words I didn’t want or need to hear from Jason of all people.”
“It’s nothing too big,” I said hurriedly. “Just know it’s something I can handle, and you don’t need to worry about it. I’ll be back to the ranch tomorrow, hopefully.” I’d just need to find a backup babysitter in case Mary’s emergency lasts longer than expected.
In the worst timing possible, the toddler started to cry.
I winced, wanting to rush over to where he’d just been sleeping a moment ago, in his crib. But, the sound would only get louder, and I was still with Jason on the phone. I had kept my secret for so long, and whenever I thought about telling him, it was face to face. Either way, this was the worst timing ever.
“Rachel?” he asked hesitantly. “What is that I hear right now…?”
“I’m sorry, Jason,” I said instead of answering. “Something important has come up. I’ll talk to you later.”
The words were said hurriedly before he could ask anything, and I cut the call after that. Because I didn’t want to give him a chance to question me, and because I walked over to my son’s crib to pick him up.
“There, there, honey,” I murmured, holding him to my chest and rocking him gently.
He’d missed me. As soon as I picked him up, his loud cries softened to tiny sniffles. I just didn’t like hearing my toddler so upset.
“It’s just going to be you and me today,” I told him. “So there’s that at least, right?”
His response was to yawn at me. He was falling asleep again, and I knew in not too long, he’d be up again so I could feed him.
Out of nowhere, there was a knock on my door. It was so unexpected that I couldn’t help jumping. The sound wasn’t too loud to startle the toddler, though.
“Now who could that be?” I asked out loud, shifting the toddler into my arms as I went for the door.
I felt a tentative spark of hope when I thought it could be Mary. It hadn't been too long yet. If she’d changed her mind about staying to help, I could still make it to the farm with plenty of time to do something useful.
But then, I opened the door, and the last person I expected to see was right there. Jason’s eyes fell on his son and I lost all thoughts, thinking that I didn’t want them to meet this way. How I had it planned out in my head was totally different to the way it was working out.
We were both frozen in place, me gaping up at Jason, him looking at my son with unreadable eyes. When those eyes eventually turned to me, my first instinct was to recoil.
“Rachel? Is he yours?”
Jack said, “Mommy.” He was so confused and I felt guilty for putting him through this, I felt as if I was going to lose my mind and I knew that as Jason was about to blow up. I had to do something and fast. I gasped. “Jason, please just listen to me—”
“Three years,” he bit out through gritted teeth. “A little over that, but still! Fuck it, Rachel. Why were you even at the ranch that day I got back if you have a child with you? What, did you want to brag about it? That it didn’t take you that long to move on as I’d thought?”
I flattened my lips, unable to say anything against his accusations. Because I found myself wanting to give him excuses, and why did I have to do that? In the first place, he was the one to walk away. And he no longer trusted me with all the accusations he was throwing at me without even hearing me out first.
“You know what?” he said with a sneer. “I changed my mind about asking you to stay. You obviously have ‘things’ to take care of, right?”
He gave me a mocking smile, then turned around and walked away.
I wasn’t sure how long I just stood there at my door, even after he’d been long out of my sight when I felt the tears start to trickle down my face. Once they started, they wouldn’t stop coming. It was all I could do not to make any noise to startle the kid.