CHAPTER 7
~Kenzie~
A handful of days after that disastrous Benneti Bash, we touched down in Daytona. I still wasn’t over everything that had happened at that party—and I frequently had nightmares of Felicia’s mouth on Hayden’s—but being here at the track helped. And hurt. The sights and smells assaulted me with memories when I stepped inside the speedway. Everywhere I turned I was faced with ghosts from my past—some from my first and only race last year, some from visiting the track with my father before I turned pro. The bright team colors merging to create a chaotic yet beautiful mosaic. The sound of revving engines underscored by whining power tools, shouts, and laughter. The younger riders showing off wherever they could get away with it, the older crew members shaking their heads at the ridiculousness of youth. The rows of bikes awaiting inspection. The smell of engine oil, grease, popcorn, and beer. The heat, the excitement, the fans, the anticipation. Every recollection was a slash across my heart. God, I missed this.
But at least I was here and a part of the world, although I still had no idea what I was going to be doing—a fact that had my stomach dancing with anxiety.
Hayden held my hand tight as we walked to the area assigned to Benneti Motorsports. Even though I knew there wasn’t a spot reserved for them, I still looked around for Cox Racing; it was so strange to think they weren’t here. That hadn’t happened in…ages. It truly was the end of an era. A fact that Keith was exuberant about. I’d never seen him so giddy as we entered the garage area here at the track; he beamed at everyone who approached him.
Staring at the portly man adorned in an oversized Benneti jacket made me sigh. Hearing the trepidation in my exhale, Hayden looked down at me. “Do you know what you’re doing yet?” he asked.
Shaking my head, I tore my eyes from Keith and looked up at him. “No. You haven’t heard anything either?”
Hayden frowned as he looked Keith’s way; he looked a little worried, which didn’t make me feel any better. “No. He changes the subject whenever I ask.” Shifting his gaze back to me, he smiled. “I’m sure it will be something great, something worthy of your skill.”
I raised my eyebrows at that. Keith wouldn’t waste this opportunity to humiliate me. No, I was going to be doing something menial—Keith’s personal fetching girl or something. But whatever it was, I’d do it with a smile on my face. Being here was all that mattered.
From over my shoulder, I heard a familiar voice say, “Hey guys! Isn’t this exciting! We’re back at Daytona!” I twisted around to see Nikki standing there, dressed in her red and black Benneti jumpsuit. She frowned when she met my eyes. “I mean, we’re kind of back at Daytona. It’s not the same of course, but it’s still kind of fun…right?”
She looked so guilty over the fact that she was enjoying herself that I had to laugh. “It’s okay to love your job, Nikki,” I told her. I’d sure loved mine. And hopefully I’d like whatever Keith had in store for me too.
Nikki looked relieved. Then she brightened. “You guys are coming out with Myles and me tonight, right? He found a speakeasy he wants to check out. Apparently, the front of the place looks like a candy store. You don’t even know you’re going into a bar until they open a secret door behind the counter.”
I had to roll my eyes at Myles’s never-ending ability to find the oddest places. I looked up at Hayden to see if he wanted to go. He shrugged, then nodded, and I told Nikki we’d be there. As Nikki gave us both a thumbs up, I happened to notice Felicia stroll into the room. She was in Benneti racing leathers that matched what Hayden was wearing, and her long brown hair was pulled back into a slick ponytail. The sight of her prepped for a race stung worse than I thought it would. That should be me.
Inadvertently, I found myself squeezing Hayden’s hand harder and harder. He glanced down at me, then looked over to see what had my attention. I heard him sigh when he spotted Felicia. She was walking over to Keith now. Cool and confident, she looked like she’d always been a part of this world. It made me wonder, if she hadn’t left town a few years ago, would Keith have brought both her and Hayden onto the team? Probably. They would have come on as the king and queen of Benneti Racing, and Hayden and I never would have happened. But she had fled town, and now that she was back, things weren’t the way she’d left them.
Keith and Felicia suddenly both turned my way. Straightening my stance, I raised my chin. You don’t worry me. Keith smiled like he knew what I was thinking, then he turned back around and reached into a box in front of him. Curiosity killing me, I watched as he grabbed a few things and handed them to Felicia. When she took the items, she tossed me a small smile. I had no idea what that meant.
Keith jerked his thumb my way, and Felicia started sauntering over. Great.
With Hayden on one side of me and Nikki on the other, I felt like I had bodyguards. I didn’t need them, though; I could handle Felicia. Since it was obvious she wanted to talk to me, I squeezed my way through Hayden and Nikki, so I was standing slightly in front of them. Felicia’s eyes swung Hayden’s way and she gave him a charming smile. “Ready for the race tomorrow, Hayden?”
Hayden frowned, like just her talking to him irritated him. “I don’t think you’ve been properly introduced to my girlfriend yet. This is Mackenzie,” he said, ignoring her question. I loved the fact that he’d used my full name.
I could almost see Felicia inwardly sighing as she slowly turned her head my way; her smile now was clearly forced. “Right…your girlfriend. It’s nice to meet you…I’ve heard a lot about you.”
Disliking that she’d heard anything about me, I murmured, “Likewise.”
Felicia flashed a glance at Hayden. “All good, I hope?”
I could feel my jaw tightening. “Not really,” I answered truthfully. Kiss my boyfriend again, bitch, and I just might rip that smile off your face. Was that smugness I was seeing? Or longing?
She brought her eyes back to me, and they grew heated with an emotion I finally understood. Anger. She opened her mouth to say something, but before she could, Hayden cut her off with a gruff voice. “Keith gave you something for Mackenzie?”
Felicia glanced at him before returning her eyes to me. “Yes…your new uniform.”
She handed me a small bundle of black and red material. Confused, I unfolded the pieces—one was a bikini top, the other a very short pair of spandex shorts. “What the hell is this?” I asked, my eyes snapping to hers.
Felicia shrugged. “Keith said you were the new spokesmodel for Benneti Motorsports. Congratulations, I hear it’s a very competitive market.” From her voice, I couldn’t tell if she was being serious, or insulting me.
My jaw dropped to my chest as my heart fell to the floor. I could not wear this here, around people who used to be my peers and rivals. It was a blow within a blow, and that was exactly why Keith had done it. I should have known the humiliation would have come in this form. Keith knew how hard I’d worked to be seen as an equal in this sport. Of course he’d want to lower me in the eyes of my ex-competitors. I should have known.
Crumpling the material, I debated throwing it on the ground and walking away. I couldn’t possibly do this. But I refused to let Keith win, and I refused to let Hayden’s ex see me defeated. If this was the task I’d been given, then I would do it to the best of my ability. Even if it meant strutting around the track with Benneti Motorsports plastered on my ass.
“Great, thank you,” I muttered. My cheeks felt hot, and I prayed she didn’t see how flustered I was.
With a quick flick at Hayden, Felicia softly said, “No problem.” Hayden’s eyes were daggers, but Felicia only smiled in response, then walked away.
The second she was gone, Hayden turned to me. “You don’t have to do this. Give the outfit back to Keith, and tell him to go to hell. I know you want to tell him that anyway,” he added with a smirk.
While that was true, I was already in too deep to back out now. “The sad truth is…this is the only way I can be a part of racing now, Hayden. And I want that so much.”
Hayden’s eyes grew soft. “You nearly ripped my head off when I assumed you were a model…and now you’re willing to pimp Keith’s team with your body?” God, was I really going to give him what he wanted?
“It’s a means to an end, until I can find something else. But look on the bright side,” I said, holding the “uniform” up to his face. “I’ll be strutting around in basically a bikini all weekend long.”
Nikki snorted, then walked away. Fire danced in Hayden’s eyes. “Well, that certainly is a bright side…although, I don’t think I’m okay with every other guy around here seeing you like this.” His gaze shifted to where Keith was standing, laughing with Maxwell…probably about me. “I’m going to go talk to Keith. This is going too far.”
I put a hand on his chest. “This is the job he has for me, Hayden. If you tell him this isn’t okay, then he’ll just fire me and send me on my way.”
Hayden put his hand over mine. “That’s fine with me. If he fires you, then you’ll be here as my guest, and not as his…trophy.”
Smiling, I stroked my thumb over the coolness of his leathers. “I need to be a part of this world, Hayden. Not as a fan, not as a guest, not as a third party who is just in the way. I need to be an active part, with purpose. And as meager a role as this is…it is advertising, so at least there is a small amount of purpose to it.” Hayden opened his mouth to interject, but I interrupted him. “Yes, maybe this isn’t a role I ever thought I’d play, but it’s better than nothing, so I’m going to do it.” Not much better than nothing, but I didn’t want to tell him that.
He again looked like he was going to object, so I leaned up and kissed the rough stubble along his cheek. “I’m going to go change. There’s a fan walk soon, and I’m sure Keith wants me there to entertain the crowd.” Hayden’s jaw tightened with my words, but he didn’t say anything, and I knew his mind was spinning with reasons why I shouldn’t do this.
My smile was joyful as I clutched my outfit tight and left Hayden to find a bathroom, but joyful wasn’t how I felt. I was fuming, burning with an anger hotter than the sun’s core. Fucking Keith. I made a vow as I watched him while I walked. He would never see my pain. All he would see was happiness—happiness that I was here, happiness that I was with Hayden. And in that way, I would come out of this the winner. Keith’s team might claim the championship this year, but I was the one who would be victorious.
Felicia caught my eye as I walked through the door, and a surge of acid-filled jealousy hit me. She was an equal to the men around me—a competitor, a rival. And I was about to be strutting around in my underwear. Fuck my life.
After finding a bathroom to change, I took a hard look at myself in the mirror. I wasn’t the most buxom person, but I was practically spilling out of the tight top. And the shorts…Jesus, there were going to be kids at the event, and they should not be subjected to this much skin. But it was what Keith wanted, so it was what Keith was going to get. Jerk off.
Gathering up my belongings, I trudged back to the Benneti camp. I felt more and more eyes on me with every step. It was hard to not hunch over and hide, difficult to stand as tall and straight as if I had on a shimmering ball gown, but that was what I made myself do. Keith wouldn’t destroy my spirit. Not now, not ever.
When I stepped back inside the garage, Maxwell and Rodney spotted me first. They let out loud cat calls that echoed throughout the room. I flipped them off. Since I was technically an employee, could I sue them for sexual harassment?
The noise got Hayden’s attention, and I spotted him stepping away from the bikes to see what was going on. When he saw me, his reaction was a mixture of approval and disgust—like he wanted to hide me away…by shoving me into his bedroom. Keeping my head held high, I ignored the stares and whistles around me and strutted his way. Holding my things out to him, I calmly said, “Is there somewhere I can put these?”
He hesitated before taking them, and I could tell he wanted to wrap me back up in the material. “Yeah, I’ll just…stash this with my… Are you sure about this, Kenzie?”
I nodded as firmly as my courage allowed. “Yes. Now, I need to find some boots. My Converse aren’t going to cut it with this outfit.” Hayden’s eyes slowly drifted down my overly exposed thighs to my comfortable shoes. His gaze washing over me made a rush of excitement dull the embarrassment. Maybe if he mentally undressed me the entire time, I might actually make it through this.
It took every ounce of determination I had to survive the autograph session, and when it was over, I had a newfound respect for what models had to put up with. I was openly leered at, crudely hit on by men who had their children in tow, and once or twice I felt a palm on my ass. I couldn’t even tell the creepers to get bent. I had to smile, wave, and offer them 8x10s of the Benneti racers.
But none of that compared to how it felt to watch the racers greet their fans. Seeing Maxwell and Rodney giving guys high-fives, seeing Hayden tousle the hair of young kids, and seeing the fans’ faces as they approached their idols—it was an excruciating reminder of what I’d lost. Watching Felicia’s table was the worst. Hearing the fans tell her how excited they were to see her race, the young girls looking at her with dreams in their eyes…it was utter torture being forced to take a back seat while she lived the life I wanted.
My heart was cracked to pieces by the time we got back to Hayden’s hotel room, and I fell onto his bed, absolutely drained. As I stared up at the ceiling, I felt Hayden compress the mattress beside me as he sat down. “You all right?” he asked, concern in his voice.
With a great amount of effort, I shifted my gaze to him. “No. Take this off me. Now.” When I’d gone back to the Benneti garage to change into my street clothes, I’d discovered that some jackass had “moved” them. Everyone claimed they didn’t know anything, but, by the way Rodney and Maxwell had been chuckling, I was sure they’d had something to do with it. Just as easily could have been Keith though, or Felicia. Regardless, my clothes were AWOL, and I’d had to return to the hotel in my eye candy outfit. The cherry on top of the suck-fest that was my day.
Hayden’s jade eyes brightened at hearing my command. “Gladly,” he murmured.
While I laid on my back, comatose, he slowly peeled off the black, knee-high, motorcycle-style boots that Keith had decided completed the outfit. Once my feet were bare, he started on the atrocious spandex shorts. He didn’t just rip them off like I’d hoped though. No, he folded them down, inch by inch, pausing to kiss the new skin as it was exposed. The exhaustion started shifting into something a lot more stimulating, and my body tingled with alertness. A satisfied murmur escaped me as I wriggled my hips in anticipation. This was as good a way as any to forget my horrendous afternoon.
A soft laugh escaped Hayden as he pulled the shorts all the way off. Leaving my underwear on, he moved up to my ridiculous top. Kissing each breast through the fabric, he lowly said, “I know you hate this outfit, but damn, baby, you look good in it. I was hard during the entire autograph session.”
A smile broke over my face as he unhooked the back. “Well, good thing you were sitting. That probably would have surprised your fans otherwise.”
Hayden began pulling the hated fabric off my skin. As he did, he quietly said, “You had fans there…did you see?”
His words froze me, and I looked down to see him peeking up at me. “I had fans there?”
Sitting up a bit, Hayden nodded. “Yeah, they had your shirt on, and were holding photos of you. Keith, he…”
He looked away, and a knot of anger stirred in my belly. Whatever Keith had done, by the look on Hayden’s face, I was positive I wasn’t going to like it. “Keith what?”
Looking back at me, Hayden sighed. “He told them all you weren’t available for autographs. Said it would interfere with your new job…then he directed them all to Felicia.”
I sat up on my elbows, incensed. “Those were my fans. He had no right! And he sent them to Felicia? That son of a bitch!” I sat up so suddenly, Hayden had to scoot away to avoid getting injured. Storming away from the bed, I tossed out, “I need a shower.” I suddenly felt like I was covered in filth.
“Do you want me to join you?” Hayden asked. Without answering him, I briskly shut the bathroom door. No, I really didn’t want him around me right now. I needed to decompress in peace.
The steaming water helped me cool down, but it didn’t change the bitterness in the back of my throat. Everything I’d once loved was slowly being stripped away from me, and I hated it. But I also didn’t know how to change it. My life was tumbling out of control in a direction I’d never expected it to go, and just when I thought I was on my way to stabilizing my trajectory, something else came along to knock me off course. Where I was going to end up now was anyone’s guess.
I dressed in a Cox Racing T-shirt when I emerged from the shower—maybe I was feeling nostalgic. Hayden had a concerned expression on his face the entire time he watched me cover up. “You okay?” he asked. I was getting really tired of him asking me that.
“I’m great,” I said, my voice tight. “But I could really use a drink.” Grabbing my phone, I texted Nikki and asked her where this speakeasy bar was. The sooner I had alcohol in me, the better.
Hayden came up behind me and started playing with my damp strands; the waves were a lot curlier when I let them air dry. Wrapping a dark section around his finger, he leaned down to kiss the crook of my neck. “Let’s go get you a drink then.”
Forcing myself to relax, I turned and gave him a soft kiss. This wasn’t his fault, so I shouldn’t take it out on him.
Hayden changed into some going out clothes while I waited for Nikki to text me back with an address. When she gave it to me, we made our way down to Hayden’s sporty rental car. “You want to drive?” he asked, opening the driver’s side door. It warmed me that he was being so sweet, and normally I would have leaped at the chance to drive this racy-looking thing, but I just wasn’t in the mood.
“No, I’m good,” I said, opening the other side.
A small sigh escaped Hayden as he slid behind the wheel. I knew he wanted me to perk up, to be sunny and bright like I usually was, and while I was trying to fake happiness, I just couldn’t fake it to that degree right now. Maybe after a few margaritas.
While Hayden drove us to this place called The Shoppe, I put my hand on his thigh and tried to focus only on the fact that we were together, and about to spend a fun evening with our friends. Well, with my friends who had grudgingly accepted the fact that Hayden was my boyfriend.
When we got to the address Nikki had given me, Hayden frowned. “You sure this is the right place?” The brightly lit building was clearly a candy store, with rows of shelves full of yummy treats visible from the outside.
“Yeah…she did say it looked real,” I said, stepping out of the car. Hayden stepped out with me, and we both stared in silence at the unlikely bar before us.
As we were staring, a couple cars pulled into the parking lot. Seconds later, I was surrounded by people I knew and loved—Nikki, Myles, and a bunch of ex-Cox Racing team members. I was struck with painful memories as I hugged Ralph, Eli, and Myles’s mechanic, Kevin. God, it was good to see them.
Kevin, always the practical one, gave Myles a confused glance once we separated. “Are you sure about this, Myles? It seems like a candy store to me.”
Myles raised a playful eyebrow. “Would a candy store have a bouncer?”
We all took another look, and, sure enough, there was a burly guy standing by the front door, arms crossed in a classic posture of intimidation. Myles gleefully clapped his hands before grabbing Nikki’s hand and pulling her toward the store; she giggled the entire way. Ralph, Eli, and Kevin gave Hayden a once-over before following them. While the ban between our old team and Keith’s was no longer an actual thing, it had to be strange for them to be hanging out with a Benneti. Maybe it would be a little easier for them since Nikki was one now too. And me, I supposed.
Hayden and I brought up the rear of the group. The bouncer by the door eyed our group, then said in a monotone voice, “Password.”
Everyone looked around at everyone else. We needed a password? Seriously? Myles scratched his head, then slowly said, “Let us in so we can get fucked up?”
The bouncer eyed him for a second, then turned and opened the door. Nikki gave Myles a high-five as we all stepped inside. A girl wearing a crisp uniform that looked like it was straight from the 1800s greeted us on the inside. “Welcome to The Shoppe,” she said. “Right this way.” She led us behind the counter and into a back room. Just as I was beginning to think we’d all been duped and we were about to be murdered, she pushed something on the wall, and it swung open to reveal a spiral staircase. “Have fun!” she said, her voice bright.
Myles and Nikki headed toward the sound of thumping music. Hayden and I glanced at each other, and he held my hand extra tight before we followed them. The actual bar of the speakeasy was like some gothic fantasy come to life. Thick black curtains separated areas into private rooms, every source of light was fashioned to mimic candle flames, and all the chairs in sight were plush, throne-like pieces straight out of a Dracula movie. Considering where we’d just come from, it was a pretty spectacular sight.
The waitresses were all in black corsets and shorty-shorts that made my Benneti spandex briefs look like sweatpants. Myles flagged one down and ordered a round of shots for everyone, then found us a table in a back room that looked like it belonged in some medieval nobleman’s dining room.
Hayden and I sat down across from Myles and Nikki. Eli and Kevin sat next to Myles, while Ralph sat down next to Hayden, although he left a chair between them. I rolled my eyes at my ex-teammates, but I didn’t say anything; they’d get used to Hayden eventually.
While we waited for our shots to arrive, I asked Myles, “So how do you like Stellar Racing? Is it as bad as you thought?”
Myles groaned. “It’s worse. Luke Stellar is a dick, and Jimmy’s a stuck-up asshole. The only decent people there are Kevin and Eli.” He tilted his dark head in their direction and they both grinned at me. “But I’m surviving, and it’s good to be racing again.” Myles’s brown eyes locked onto Hayden, and I could see the gears turning as he studied my boyfriend. “So…should we expect any mishaps this year, Hayden? Or is everything back to status quo?”
Silence blanketed the table. It was broken only by the shots arriving. Hayden kept his eyes locked on Myles while the waitress doled them out. I wanted to kick Myles under the table, but I resisted the temptation. Instead, I lifted my shot glass. “Cheers!” I exclaimed, once everyone had theirs.
Hayden and Myles took their drinks with their gazes still focused on each other, and I knew this conversation wasn’t over. When Hayden set down his glass, Myles shrugged. “So? What do you think, Hayden?”
Hayden looked around the table before meeting Myles’s eyes again. “I’m certainly no expert on the subject, but yeah…I think it will be a normal year.”
Myles narrowed his eyes. “As opposed to last year?” Myles knew Hayden had somehow been involved with the tampering last year, and he wanted answers, but here and now was not the place to get them.
Interrupting, I said, “Next round is on me. What would everyone like?”
Ralph, Eli, and Kevin seemed grateful that I was breaking the tension in the room, and eagerly gave me their orders. Nikki piped up with her request, and eventually Hayden and Myles let go of their conversation and gave me theirs too. Just as I was scooting my chair back to head to the bar, a voice to my left said, “I’ll take a whiskey Coke, Mackenzie. Diet please.”
I looked over to see who had spoken, and my heart almost stopped beating. Felicia? What the fuck was she doing here? While I gaped at her, dumbstruck, she calmly settled herself in the empty seat beside Hayden. Even though every person was staring at her, Felicia looked perfectly at ease, like she wasn’t crashing a party she hadn’t been invited to.
Minutely moving his chair away from her, Hayden asked the question that was blazing through my brain. “What are you doing here, Felicia?”
She smiled, like his tone had been warm and friendly. “It’s the night before a big race. I’m unwinding, same as you guys.” Looking around the table, she asked, “Is everyone ready for the big day?”
Ralph, Eli, and Kevin looked unsure if they were supposed to answer that. Myles looked annoyed, while Nikki kept flicking heated glances between Felicia and me; she looked like she was ready for a throw down…I just had to say the word. While I scooted my chair back to the table—hell if I was going anywhere now—Hayden said, “You should go, Felicia. This is a private function.”
Looking over at me and then Nikki, she answered with, “Looks like a Benneti function. I’m a Benneti now.” Lifting her hand in the air, she flagged down the waitress. “Another round of shots, please,” she said, indicating the empty glasses on the table.
Eli, Kevin, and Ralph relaxed since she was buying them alcohol. They even smiled and thanked her. Myles and Nikki were staring at me, waiting to see what I wanted. Hayden narrowed his eyes at Felicia, then turned his gaze my way. Leaning over, he said, “Want to leave?”
Yes. And no. It was clear Felicia wasn’t going to go anywhere voluntarily, but I didn’t want her to chase me away either. If she wanted to be stubborn, well, two could play that game. Locking eyes with Felicia on the other side of Hayden, I told him, “No, everything’s fine here.” Unless she tries to kiss you again. Then we’ll have an issue. Hayden let out another long exhale, then shook his head in disbelief.
Felicia and I stared at each other until the drinks arrived; I didn’t even let myself blink until she did. As the waitress passed out the shots, Felicia coolly said, “So, Mackenzie, how did the autograph session go? I was too busy with my line to see much of you. Did you enjoy yourself?”
Did I enjoy looking like a play toy in my old workplace? Fuck no, I didn’t enjoy that. I wanted to sling back my shot as soon as it was in front of me, but I refused to take mine before Felicia took hers. Tension built around the table again as people waited for my answer; Myles and the guys looked confused…they didn’t know what my job today had been. “I think I made a real impact with the fans,” I finally said. God, was that the right thing to say? I wished I could have just said, “Go to hell.” That felt more appropriate.
“What do you want, Felicia?” Hayden suddenly asked.
Felicia’s gaze swung from me to him, and the awkwardness at the table tripled; everyone but the three of us started downing their drinks one by one.
“I want to have an actual conversation with you, Hayden, where you say things, and then I get to say things in return. I want to explain what happened four years ago.”
Shaking his head, Hayden looked away from her. “You’re barking up the wrong tree. No need to explain anything…doesn’t matter anymore.”
Somehow, the tone of his voice sounded all wrong, and I knew he was lying. Felicia knew it too. “I’m sorry I left, Hayden. And I hope that one day you can forgive me…like Izzy has forgiven me.”
Hayden’s eyes snapped back to her face. “Izzy forgave you? I don’t believe it. She’s pissed that you took off when Antonia needed you most. She said she’d never forgive you for that.”
Felicia’s eyes sank to the table, and she started slowly turning the glass in her fingers. “Yeah, well…I talked to her before we left to come here. She forgave me, and she said she thought you would too,” she added, her voice almost too quiet for me to hear.
“Why would she possibly think that?” Hayden snapped, a hard edge to his voice.
Myles suddenly slapped his hands on the table. “Who wants to play darts?” The others shot to their feet, and, within seconds, they were all gone. I didn’t blame them; the concrete-like tension in the air would have had me bailing too.
To my surprise, Hayden slowly stood up after them. “Darts sound great.” He held his hand out for me. “Kenzie, want to play?” From the look in his eye, I knew what he was really asking was, Want to sneak out the back and leave now?
Felicia was still staring at her glass, and the curiosity was killing me. Why had Izzy so readily forgiven her? And why the hell did Izzy think Hayden ever would? Felicia had abandoned him, made him afraid to let people in again. She’d scarred him. That sort of pain wouldn’t easily go away.
Taking Hayden’s hand, I let him pull me to my feet. “Sure,” I whispered, wondering if we should actually leave.
Felicia looked up when we started to move. “Hayden.” He stopped, exhaled a deep breath, then looked back at her. Heart in her eyes, she told him, “You’re right, it was wrong of me to leave. I have so much to atone for…to everyone. I’m trying to make things right. That’s all.”
Even as she said it, I knew that wasn’t entirely accurate. She was trying to make things the same…big difference. But Hayden looked genuinely affected by her statement, and there was clear turmoil in his eyes; the depth of the pain I saw there worried me.
“It’s too late for that, Felicia,” he said, his voice unsteady. Grabbing my hand tighter, he yanked me away from the table. As I glanced back at Felicia, I saw my own internal question reflected in her shimmering eyes.
Was it really?
***