“Well, hot damn,” Gran said as she stood on the porch with her hands on her hips. “Y’all are here just in time for dinner.”

The two men standing at the end of her porch looked from each other, to me. Axle let go of my hand and headed straight for them. I thought Axle was big. He was, but the man standing at his shoulder now was just as big and broad-shouldered. He had sandy-blond hair that touched his collar and a full beard. He reminded me a little of a blond grizzly bear with pale blue eyes that seemed to cut straight through me. He held his hand out for Axle and when they shook, they drew in close, slapping each other’s back and touching shoulders. The other man was dark like Axle, but clean shaven with fierce, green eyes that he trained on me.

“Don’t be rude,” Gran said. “Maya, this is Zig and Benz. I’d like to tell ya they look worse than they really are, but the truth is all three of these boys are hellraisers.”

“Come on now, Gran,” the man she’d introduced as Benz, the blond, said. “We only raise the hell that needs raising. And what’re you cooking? It smells good.”

“Sheeit,” Zig said. “Just don’t tell Mama Bear we’re cheating on her tonight. She’s got the whole crew down at the clubhouse for fried chicken.”

My stomach growled. I didn’t know who or what Mama Bear was, but I’d been out in the garden most of the day. I don’t think I’d even remembered to eat lunch. Axle stood beside me still as a stone wall. Every muscle in his body seemed to tense as he reached back and held my hand. I took a step forward, planning to extend a handshake to give Axle’s friends a proper hello. He held onto me in a vice grip, his nostrils flaring.

Whatever had Axle keyed up, the other members of his crew didn’t seem to share it. Zig gave Gran a hug then extended his hand to mine. He shook it in a solid grip. His expression wasn’t openly friendly, but he regarded me with keen eyes and a sincere smile. Benz did the same.

“It’s nice to meet you, Maya,” he said. “I can see why Axle’s been hiding out lately.”

“I’ve heard a lot about you,” I said. “It’s nice to finally put names to faces. Well, at least where Benz is concerned. I gotta say, Zig, I’ve only really heard about you from Wendy down at Cups.”

I meant it as a joke. I knew Wendy had some past relationship with this Zig. Nikki had actually clued me into that, trying to explain why Wendy might’ve had her nose out of joint about me spending time with Axle. Nikki figured Wendy had planned on moving on down the row of Dark Saints members and Axle was just next on her list.

Zig’s face fell. “Don’t believe anything that girl told you. She’s a hot mess.”

I couldn’t help it. I was petty enough that I nodded in agreement. In my last days at the bar, Wendy had given me nothing but trouble. “Well, I won’t hold it against you,” I said. “Seriously though, it’s good to finally meet you.”

“Well, come on up,” Gran yelled. “I’ve got stew in the pot and it won’t keep forever.” A look passed between Axle and his friends. When I made a move to head up the porch steps after Gran, Axle didn’t follow. He damn near pulled my arm out of its socket as he stood there immobile.

“Axle.” I turned. I mouthed, “What the hell?”

A nerve in his jaw twitched and he kept his dark stare on Zig and Benz. Then finally, he blinked hard, snapping out of whatever trance held him. “Yeah,” he said. “We should eat.” He went ahead of me, pulling me with him up the steps. Zig and Benz followed right behind me, their heavy boots tromping up the wooden planks.

These three hulking men in their leather cuts made Gran’s kitchen seem extra small. I couldn’t imagine how imposing the whole club would be in the same room together. I made a move to help Gran set the table and dish out the stew, but she wouldn’t hear of it. This was her kitchen and we were her guests.

Axle took a seat at the head of the table and I sat beside him. Zig sat at my left and Benz sat directly across from me. Whatever odd tension simmered between them, it vanished as soon as Gran set heaping bowls of her beef stew in front of them. Even Axle seemed to relax as he carved his spoon through the steaming brew.

Gran sat at the other end of the table and her eyes shone. Her pleasure at watching these men eat was infectious. They did it with such gusto they reminded me a little of bears.

“So,” Zig said, through a mouthful of food. He cleared his throat and put the back of his hand to his mouth in an attempt at manners that made me smile. “You two meet at Cups?”

Axle set his spoon down. When it became obvious he wasn’t going to answer, I spoke up. “Uh, yes, actually. Axle stepped in when Uncle Frank DiSalvo tried to mess with me.”

Axle let out a snort. “I think you had that one under control. I was just there for back up.”

“Fucking Frank,” Benz said. “He’s been pulling that shit since Gino opened that bar. I hope you gave it to him straight between the eyes.”

“Well, I gave it to him straight between something,” I said, half under my breath.

There was a pause in the conversation, then Benz and Zig started to laugh. Axle didn’t though. His eyes held that same dark expression he’d had since we walked around the barn and found these two on Gran’s porch. Something was definitely up. When we had time alone, I aimed to ask him about it.

Zig and Benz wolfed down Gran’s stew and asked for seconds and thirds. She sat back smiling. She leaned over and tousled Benz’s hair.

“It’s good to see you,” she said. “You boys don’t come around enough anymore. This one,” she turned to me. “Nothing but trouble.”

“Oh?” I said. Axle kept his head down. While the others seemed easy and jovial with Gran, Axle wasn’t. He’d barely eaten anything either. I put my hand on his shoulder and squeezed him. He stiffened and his gaze flicked to mine.

“Are you feeling okay?” I asked him.

“I’m fine,” he said. “We’ve just got some business to discuss. I’d like to get to it.”

“Don’t be rude, Axle,” Zig said. “We haven’t seen your grandmother in a long-ass time.”

Axle clenched his fist, then hid it beneath the table. I looked at Gran. Her own expression went from joy to concern as she looked at Axle. Club business. I knew that’s what he’d tell me. She might be used to this, but I wasn’t.

“Come on, you two,” Gran said. “I’ve got a couch down in the basement I need moved. The church is coming to collect it the day after tomorrow.”

Benz and Zig stood at the same time, their chairs scraping hard over the wood floor. Axle again had his head down and his fists clenched resting on either side of his bowl. They followed Gran out of the kitchen and down the basement stairs leaving us alone.

“Axle,” I said. “What the hell is going on?”

He leaned back hard in his chair. “Club business.”

I said it along with him, crossing my arms. “Let me guess, you’re leaving sooner rather than later?”

He took a great breath and hesitated before letting it out again.

“It’s okay,” I said. “You’ve been here with me for days. You dropped your whole life on account of me. I didn’t expect that. I’m fine. In fact, I think it’s time I went home. I mean, I love it here. But I have to figure out my next move. I have to find a new job, figure out how I’m going to pay next month’s rent. You go do what you have to, I’ll do what I have to. It’s time.”

“Maya,” he said. “I need to ask you something. I need you not to go back to Port Azrael just now. Just for a few more days.”

“This club business,” I said. “It has to do with me?”

Axle narrowed his eyes. Then he looked out the window. Zig and Benz had emerged from the basement through a side egress and heaved Gran’s checkered couch between them. She stood in front of them pointing, her voice raised like a drill sergeant’s as they moved the couch to the end of the driveway.

“They’re good men?” I asked.

Axle rose from his chair. He laced his hands together and placed them on the back of his head as he started to pace. “They’re good men, Maya. They’re all good men. But sometimes, we have to do things that other people might not think of as good. Port Az. It’s safe there now. Places like Cups and the businesses along the dock, they thrive because of men like me and the rest of my crew. People don’t understand. We’ve made hard choices.”

My eyes darted back and forth as I followed him. It was as if he were talking to himself more than to me. I’d asked the question almost as a way to break the tension in him. It only seemed to have heightened it. It scared me. Whatever was going on with the club, it weighed heavily on him and he wouldn’t let me in.

“I’d like to get to know them,” I said. “The men of your club. Axle, they’re your family. They’re important to you. I don’t want you to feel like you have to hide that side of yourself from me.”

Axle stopped pacing. His back was to me as he dropped his hands. His shoulders tightened and his fists came out again. He let out a great sigh. When he finally turned to face me, it was as if a storm had risen behind his eyes. If he was going to tell me something more, he never got the chance. Gran walked into the kitchen.

“Benz and Zig are going to bunk here tonight,” she said, her eyes twinkling. It occurred to me that as settled as Gran was, as vibrant and active she was for an eighty-five-year-old woman, she had to be lonely a lot of the time. She lived in this great big house all by herself and Axle didn’t have the chance to come and visit her as much as she’d like. Her only son was long gone. Axle was the only family she had left. It was no wonder she cared about his other family so much.

“Gran, we can’t stay here,” Axle said. But her mind was already made up. Zig and Benz still stood in the yard. I got the impression they’d sent her to smooth things over with Axle. Though I still couldn’t figure out why they’d need to.

“You can ride out with them in the morning,” she said. “But for now you’re going to do your old grandmother a favor and you’re going to let me go to sleep with a full house. Those two have been riding all day. Maya can help me make up the beds in the downstairs guestrooms. We’re having pancakes in the morning. Meantime, you let those boys get changed and the three of you can deal with that tractor that’s been sitting behind the barn all spring. You should have brought Benz with you days ago.”

Axle was almost thirty years old. At six feet five, he was one of the tallest, toughest men I’d ever known. But as his grandmother wagged her finger at him and gave him his marching orders, he stood there and nodded. It seemed nobody ever really could say no to Gran. I couldn’t help it, I covered my mouth to stop from laughing.

“Maya, will you help me?” Gran asked. It seemed Axle wasn’t the only one about to get marching orders. “Let’s clear this mess and you can help me make up the batter. You think those boys can eat the hell outta my stew, wait until you see what they do with a stack of pancakes.”

I saluted her and shot a wink to Axle. His eyes were still hard as he dropped his shoulders and headed out to the porch to join Zig and Benz.

Later, the house grew quiet as the men went out to deal with Gran’s tractor. Gran herself grew stoic as she taught me her pancake recipe. I appreciated it for the solemn secret it was and tried to commit it to memory.

* * *

I didn’t see Axle again until he came to bed. I’d worked in the kitchen with Gran until well after the sun went down. He came to me in the dark, standing in the doorway, his eyes reflecting the moonlight.

“Axle, what is it? What’s wrong?” I said, sitting up in bed. I hugged my knees to my chest.

He didn’t move at first. Then he walked slowly across the room and sat down at the end of the bed.

“It’s what I told you,” he said. “First thing in the morning, I have to ride out with Zig and Benz. I can’t tell you what’s wrong. It’s club business. If you’re going to be with me, you have to accept that. I can’t tell you.”

I put a hand on his shoulder. God, his muscles were so tight. “I know. I get it. Did you know Gran told me that pretty much the first day we came here. I told you before that I trust you. I still do. But you can’t ask me to put my life on hold forever. When you leave, I need to leave too.”

“Maya …”

“No! That’s the deal, Axle. I won’t ask you for details about every part of your life. I won’t pretend I like it, but I accept it. But I have a life too. At least, I had one before Junior DiSalvo blew it up. I’m done running. I’m done being scared. It’s time for me to live. I found the job at Cups by myself. I’ll find something else. I’ll find another apartment too if that’s what it takes.”

“I can give you rent money, Maya. I can take care of you.”

I smiled and touched his face. “For how long? Come on, Axle. I’m not going to live off you. That doesn’t mean I might not ask you to float me a loan, but I’m not there yet and that’s all it would be. A loan. I can take care of myself.”

“Two days,” he said. “Just give me two days. Stay here. After that, things will be settled.”

“Will they? Is that a promise? Look, I said I wouldn’t ask you for details, but instinct’s telling me you can’t make that promise. Two days is going to turn into two more and God knows what else after that.”

“Maya …”

“Axle, I’m tired. It’s been a long day. Will you just come to bed with me? Whatever it is. Whatever’s making you look at me like that. You’re not going to solve it on no sleep.”

For the first time since this afternoon, Axle finally smiled. He slipped out of his leather cut and pulled his shirt over his head. His triceps flexed as he leaned toward me and kissed me.

“Truce,” he said.

“Exactly. Meet me halfway, baby.” I took him into my arms. Axle lay with his head between my breasts as I smoothed my fingers over his temples. He stayed as tense as before, but at least he settled against me. Axle seemed to hold me even tighter as I fought to keep my eyes open. We both finally lost that battle as Axle’s rhythmic breaths fell against my breasts.

I don’t know what woke me later. Whatever it was, my eyes snapped open and I found myself drenched in sweat. I reached for Axle but he wasn’t there. The house was quiet, but I thought I heard voices coming from outside.

The nearest thing to me was Axle’s discarded t-shirt. I pulled it over my head. It was big enough on me to hang almost to my knees. The night was humid with a slight breeze that lifted the curtains. I went to the window, drawn by low murmurs coming from outside. From my vantage point, I could see the light coming from the bottom of the barn.

I tiptoed out into the hall. Gran’s door was shut. I walked by the guest bedrooms. Zig and Benz weren’t in them. Voices drew me again and I walked out on the porch. I opened my mouth to call for Axle but something made me stop. No, not something. I heard someone yell my name. Every instinct in my body told me not to go. I’d just promised Axle that I wouldn’t press him for details about club business. He’d asked me to trust him. I wanted to. Each step I took felt like a betrayal of that trust as the urge to eavesdrop burned within me.

The voices rose to a shout. I couldn’t make out words, but Axle was angry. Something banged against the wall and I worried Axle might be about to punch another hole in it. Though I knew I should turn back, I kept walking forward. In some back corner of my brain, I knew everything was about to change again. Sweat pooled between my shoulder blades and a barn owl hooted, as if to give me one last warning to turn back. I kept on going.

I stepped gingerly down Gran’s porch steps, mindful of the fact they creaked. I took the path toward Gran’s garden. It led to the back of the barn. From there, the voices inside the barn grew louder and again I heard my name.

“You don’t fucking understand,” Axle said. “I’ve been living with this for days. Weeks. I can handle it.”

“It’s not for you to handle,” Zig said. “Jesus. You’ve been lying to all of us. How the fuck do you think anybody can trust what you say now? ”

“Because it’s me!” Axle shouted, then he dropped his voice to a whisper. “Because you know what I’ve done for this club. What I’ll always do. But this time, this girl is different. Bear is wrong.”

“Axle,” Benz said. “I get it. Okay? Shit. In your situation, I don’t know that I’d have done anything different. But this can’t … you can’t ... fuck. You really willing to go against the club for this?”

“It’s not about that anymore,” Zig said. “Now you’re asking us to go against the club. You’ve drawn us into it. That can’t happen, Axle. Dammit, I hate this.”

“And you know goddamn well this is about Junior. Whatever he’s told Bear or his fucking mother or anyone else ... if he gets clear of this jackpot, there’s going to be another one just around the corner. This won’t end. This won’t ever end.”

“You willing to sacrifice your patch over it?” Zig said. Silence fell like dead weight. My heart hammered in my chest. Puzzle pieces slammed into place in my brain.

Junior. His warnings about the club replayed in my mind along with Axle’s warnings to me about Junior.

“Are you?” Zig asked again. “Axle, fucking tell me right now. You willing to go against Bear’s orders ... against the club over this girl?”

Zig’s question hit me like a gut punch. Detective Langley’s warnings slammed into my thoughts along with everything else.

“There’s got to be another way,” Axle said. “Give me time. I’ll find a way to keep Maya from fucking things up for Junior.”

I couldn’t hear anymore. My blood roared in my ears and I had to cover my mouth to keep from throwing up. Fucking things up for Junior? Oh God. How could I have not seen? How could I have trusted him? Axle, the club. They were all working for Junior DiSalvo.

Spots swam in front of my eyes as I staggered back inside.