Graduation Night

“Jennifer? What are you doing, my lovely girl?” I jump at Gramps’s muffled voice as he softly knocks on my bedroom door. Pulled from my anxiety-riddled mind, I leap off my bed and glance out the window to see the party starting without me. “Get your fanny in gear. Everyone is waiting for you.”

“Just a sec, Gramps!” I call back as I check my appearance in the mirror for the hundredth time. I need everything to be perfect tonight, or I’ll lose my nerve. Luckily, my hair cooperates and the soft waves fall just the way I like. Added to near perfect mascara application – for once I didn’t stab myself in the eye with the wand – and just the right lip gloss, I know it has to be a sign.

Tonight is definitely the night to finish what Jack Ryan and I started last night. I’m not only going to show him, but tell him. His abrupt departure had to be nerves. That’s the only explanation I can think of. I saw the truth in his eyes. He felt it just like I did.

I adjust the strappy sandals I bought just for tonight, brush a bit of lint off the black cotton sundress, and double check the back for any embarrassing underwear tucks.

Here goes nothing!

I turn away from the mirror and open my bedroom door, Gramps’s smile calming my racing heart instantly. As usual, he shows up just when I need him most. “Hey, Gramps,” I say as I step into his open arms. “What are you doing up here?”

“I had a feeling you needed a jolt to get moving,” he whispers as he hugs me tight. Stepping back, he winks and offers me his arm to escort me to my party.

“Thanks, Gramps.” He leads me downstairs and out onto the porch. I freeze as my gaze locks on Jack. His back is to me, but I tense in anticipation.

“He’s a pain in the ass, but he sure is a looker.” Gramps chuckles at my expression and I stare at him.

“Wh…what are you talking about?” I stammer, horrified at the thought Gramps knows. How can he know? Did I let something slip? Is it that obvious?

“Oh, come on, sweets. I may be old, but I’m not blind.” He leads me off the porch and across the yard to the barn, stopping at the open door and turning to face me, a warm smile of encouragement on his face. “He’s a nice boy, too. But don’t tell him I said that. I like to give him grief whenever I can.” He kisses my forehead and adds, “Have a good time. You’ve earned it.” Then he wanders into the crowd of people.

So many people and there’s only one person I want to have a good time with. At that moment, Jack turns and meets my gaze, his amazing grin threatening to turn my insides to goo.

Focus, Jenny! One foot in front of the other.

My brother Ben appears next to Jack, pulling him away before I can make my way through the crowd. I start to follow but my friends fill in the path, and I let them distract me with talk of plans for the summer and who’s going where in the fall.

My path is a foregone conclusion – off to college for a business degree and then back home to take over the winery with my brother. Everyone assumes UCLA, but even though my parents sent a deposit to the family alma mater, I sent one to Northeastern University. By the end of the night, I’ll know where I’m going. UCLA to be closer to Ben or clear across the country to escape my shame in Boston. Talk about hedging your bets!

I drift from group to group as the celebrations continue late into the evening. After a while, I need a break from the crowd and the noise. I wander out of the barn and down the path to the pressing house, a place I’ve always found comforting. When I was little, I would watch for hours as the workers unloaded the grapes into the presses for the first stage of wine-making, and it’s where I’ve always found myself whenever I needed to clear my head.

I stop short when I see light coming from the windows, wondering who could have beat me to my thinking spot. As quietly as I can, I move around the side of the building and peek through the window. The last thing I expect to see, and the one thing that could truly destroy me, plays out in front of me – Jack’s pants down around his ankles, screwing the blonde bimbo that spent the night fawning all over him.

Instant disgust at my blind devotion to him for so many years propels me into the vineyard, my mind reeling as I try to escape my waking nightmare. How could I, for one minute, think things had changed between us? He doesn’t see me. Not the way I let myself believe he did. I’m just his best friend’s annoying little sister, and that’s all I’ll ever be to him. That must be why he bolted from me last night.

I wasted so much of my life deluding myself. I just knew he saw the real me, that he could see how I felt. How dumb am I. Here I thought I’d actually – finally – grown up. Nope, just the same silly girl pining for something I can never have. How pathetic.

“Jenny? Are you ok?” The hesitation in the deep voice stops my flight into the vineyard. I know this voice, but can’t quite place it. I wipe the tears from my face as I turn, the shadowed form slowly coming into focus. He steps toward me and recognition dawns, and with it clarity. Standing right in front of me is a guy who clearly wants me. No guessing, no games. It’s time to stop wasting my life on a dream, and start living the reality in front of me.

I step toward him, determined to rid my heart of Jack once and for all. I lift up on my toes, and just before I press my lips to his I whisper, “Hey, Liam. I’m so glad you were the one to find me.”