chapter eleven
The next day Rafe drove to Blake Security for the workout he’d been neglecting. Despite his decision to retire from the FBI, his body was his weapon, and he couldn’t afford to allow his blade to go dull.
Especially now that you have someone to protect.
He felt a sense of bone-deep right at the thought. No matter what happened, no matter what he discovered about what Diana was hiding, she’d triggered his protective instincts something crazy. He had to keep her safe. For the first time since his rebirth—the way he thought of getting out of the FBI and reclaiming his rightful identity—he had something that was just his.
Nonna and Lucia had formed a strong family bond while he was gone, and rightfully so. They’d gone on with their lives, and he wouldn’t have wanted anything less for them. But that didn’t mean it wasn’t painful to observe how close they were and how many private jokes and experiences existed between them that he simply wasn’t a part of. They didn’t need him anymore.
His cheeks warmed as he thought about everything he’d told her yesterday. His childhood wasn’t something he ever discussed. It was easier not to be bitter over what he’d lost if he didn’t revisit it. But when he was with Diana, he felt like she was used to being on the outskirts just like he was.
And it made him feel like his luck was finally changing.
Then he looked up and saw Alan watching him from across the room. Rafe bit back a curse. His good luck wouldn’t hold, it would seem.
He grabbed his phone and dialed Matthias. “Did you guys lose something?”
Matthias sighed. “Not my fault, mate. I tried to warn you. You didn’t answer. Noah told him to go on back.” Then he hung up.
Rafe growled even though he knew it wasn’t the kid’s fault. Noah knew that Alan had been his handler for years, but he didn’t know that Rafe was trying to avoid him.
Once he realized Rafe had seen him, Alan walked across the gym mats, dodging around the exercise balls and the scattered treadmills and other equipment. With a team of security professionals, many of whom lived on site, Noah had made sure to have a professionally equipped gym.
“Rafe. You look well. I thought you were going to take some time off? You know, go on a vacation. Wear flowered shirts and gain a few pounds.” Alan chuckled at his own joke.
Rafe picked up a heavier weight and started curling. “I’m not letting myself go, if that’s what you’re asking. What do you want, Alan?”
The other man’s sigh said it all. “We really need your help on this Vandergraff case. You have insight that we just can’t get from paperwork. The more you dodge this, the more questions Interpol has. I think if you just made yourself available for questions—”
“I told you I’d search for information, but beyond that, I’m not getting involved. That part of my life is over.” Rafe let the weight in his hand fall to the floor of the gym where it landed with a dull thud.
Suddenly he was irrationally angry. He’d done everything the FBI had asked of him. Sacrificed his life, his name, his relationships with his family, and essentially every dream he’d had as a young man about what his future would look like. There was no expectation of a thank-you.
Uncle Sam, like any other organization, didn’t spare much appreciation for the workers at the bottom that made the gears turn. But Rafe didn’t feel it was too much to expect some peace in his retirement from the bureau. He’d served honorably, and now he was ready to move on.
But how could he move on when he still felt the weight of his old life around his neck?
Alan blew out a breath. ““You might not have a choice here. This doesn’t look good, Rafe.”
“What doesn’t look good?”
“You know how things are at the bureau. If the wrong people start asking questions, a small thing can turn into an international incident. With you being so cagey about this, people are starting to ask questions about why a former agent is living life so large after retiring so young.”
Now that pissed him off. “Living large? How am I living large? I’m not flashy. I don’t spend a lot of money. I know how to keep a low profile.”
Suddenly Alan didn’t look so sure of himself anymore. “You make a lot of money for a security consultant. You’ve got a nice place that you own outright and several expensive vehicles. It looks bad, man, especially since you aren’t even working regular shifts here.” Alan glanced around. “Whatever the hell a regular shift around here looks like.”
“You have me under surveillance or something?”
Alan didn’t meet his eyes. “Look, this case is too big to ignore. Solving it would make anyone’s career. People are not going to stop digging.”
Rafe smiled. “You think I stole it, don’t you?”
He shook his head sadly. After all the years he’d put in, they still didn’t trust him. They always said there was no honor among thieves. It seemed there was no honor among the enforcers of the law either. Not that he’d ever drunk that particular Kool-Aid. The guys on the so-called “right” side of the law were often cut from the same cloth as the guys they were chasing.
“I didn’t take that diamond, Alan. You guys are wasting your time.”
“I know that,” Alan assured him hastily. “But they don’t know you like I do. I’m trying to help you, Rafe. But you have to help me too.”
“That’s where you’re wrong,” Rafe replied before turning to nail Alan with a direct look. “I don’t have to do shit. Now leave. And don’t show up at my place of business again.”
Alan shook his head. “You’re making a mistake.”
“Maybe. It wouldn’t be the first time.”
Rafe watched him go and then cursed as soon as he’d left the room. Alan might be gone, but that didn’t mean this was the end of it.
He needed to do some digging of his own.
What the hell was happening to her life?
Diana finished wiping the counter in the kitchen and then sat down at the dining table.
It was a little pathetic, but she’d gotten so used to spending her days and nights with Rafe that it was kind of weird now that he wasn’t here. She should be jumping for joy. He’d left her alone in the apartment so he could go to the gym. This was what she’d been waiting for, a sign of trust.
An opportunity.
But despite the fact that she’d gotten what she’d been hoping for, Diana felt curiously empty.
That’s because you’re acting like a silly little girl with a crush instead of an intelligent, calculating woman with a plan.
Warmth spread through her at the thought of the prior night in Rafe’s arms. Shame and desire battled, but she couldn’t deny that things had changed between them. There was something about the way he looked at her, touched her, and held her. She’d never experienced anything like this before, and she couldn’t believe that something this right could happen if he really was a coldhearted killer.
Diana pressed her hands to her cheeks. She was supposed to be avenging her father’s death, and instead all she was doing was questioning everything she thought she knew. Rafe was the killer, there was no way she could have gotten that wrong. Being so young when her father was killed, there was always the risk that time had warped her memory of the event, but there was no mistaking those eyes. It had been Rafe in the office with her father. She’d never forget the sight of those eyes from behind his mask. Not to mention that she’d seen him in action since coming here.
Her mind wasn’t playing tricks on her. Rafe DeMarco was lethal and absolutely capable of murder. But the man she’d come to know since arriving here operated under strict codes of honor. He was principled.
Which made no sense!
Diana groaned. The only way she could make things add up was to find the clues she was looking for and figure out the real story. Maybe there had been a reason that Rafe had been there. Could her father have been set up? Maybe someone else had framed him for something. Rafe didn’t hurt people indiscriminately, so he must have been led to believe her father was guilty of something.
You’re just trying to rationalize it.
The thought that she was going soft when she should be avenging the only man who’d ever loved her brought on a wave of despair. Diana stood reluctantly and made her way into the living room. She started with the windows, inspecting all the sills before moving to the artwork again. Now that she knew he had motion sensors on the paintings, she didn’t dare take any of them down.
With a frustrated little sigh, she swept her eyes over the rest of the apartment. He didn’t spend a lot of time in the kitchen, and she’d already searched that room thoroughly anyway under the guise of “cooking.” The only places she hadn’t had time to search were his bedroom and the office.
Starting with the bedroom, she swept her hands under the mattress and peered under the bed frame. The ceilings and walls were smooth, with no indication that any areas had been punched out and patched, so she doubted he’d hidden anything in the walls. How would she retrieve it anyway?
Oh, don’t mind the mess, Rafe. I just wanted to check out the other side of your drywall!
Diana shook her head at the thought. Now that she was gaining his trust, she didn’t want to do anything overt that would cause her to lose it. He would eventually give away a clue; it was inevitable. She just had to be patient.
Giving up on the bedroom, she walked down the hall to the office. She’d never been in that room before, only seen inside when he’d left the door open. It was decorated in typical male fashion with dark paint on the walls and lots of leather. She sat in the desk chair, inhaling the scent of Rafe.
Focus.
She traced under the surface of the desk, feeling for any grooves or cracks where something could be hidden. Nothing. She shook the mouse, but when the computer screen flared to life, it showed only the passcode screen. Well, it was worth a try. She could always hope that maybe he was an assassin with lax security standards at home.
There was another painting in here too. She didn’t recognize the artist this time. She quickly checked the shelves and the walls, then lastly looked for any levers or buttons in the frame of the painting. Nothing.
Sighing, she left the office and went back to her room.
She was just about to walk back out into the hallway when she heard Rafe’s voice. He must have come home. She had been listening for him, but the man moved like a cat. Maybe she should tie a bell around his dick. That way she’d know every time he was around.
Who was he talking to? Rafe didn’t seem to have many friends outside of his work and family.
Taking a chance, she crept closer to the door just in time to see Rafe appear at the entrance to the hallway.
He glanced around, eyes narrowed. Then took a step back to look in the kitchen.
He was looking for her, she realized.
She ducked back into her room and heard his murmurs as he walked by her room. He was making sure she didn’t overhear him. Which meant he was discussing something he didn’t want her to know about.
This was her chance. Now or never. It was either follow him or be stuck in this limbo.
She tiptoed after him.
Rafe’s phone started ringing while he was on the way home.
“What’s up, Noah?” He figured the other man had probably heard about his annoyance from Matthias by now.
“I meant to grab you before you left. We need your help investigating a potential new hire.”
That was news. Rafe had no question about his place in the company. He was like a precision blade, used when needed. But he hadn’t been invited to participate in many other ways. Despite how things seemed, he was still getting back on even ground with Noah. They were still moving around each other, trying to figure out where the pieces fit in their new relationship. It was odd for Rafe to be so uncertain around the man he’d taken under his wing a decade ago and trained from the ground up. But in the time he’d been gone, Noah had matured into the kind of strong leader Rafe had always known he would be.
Which was why being asked for help meant more to him than Noah would ever know.
“Not sure what I can do, but whatever you need, you know I’m there,” he finally answered, hoping his rough voice didn’t betray the depth of feeling.
“This guy is former ORUS. Call sign Lynx. Did you know him?”
Rafe’s brow furrowed as he thought back. He’d definitely never worked directly with the guy. Before taking any tandem assignment, he’d always memorized the file on the other agent, looking for vulnerabilities or weaknesses. He’d definitely remember if they’d worked together.
“I never worked with him. Although, that doesn’t mean I don’t have anything on him.”
Noah laughed. “Of course. Your file of secrets. I’d almost forgotten that you kept information on everyone. You always were a paranoid bastard.”
“It’s served me well. Let me take a look at what I have in my files. If he’s mentioned, even in a peripheral way, I’ll let you know.”
Rafe pulled into the garage for his building and parked. He cradled his phone between his neck and his ear while grabbing the gym bag on the passenger seat.
“While you’re doing that, I wanted to ask about earlier. Matthias mentioned that you seemed less than happy to see Alan.”
Here we go, Rafe thought. He should have known he hadn’t escaped Noah’s attention.
The guy had been a top ORUS operative for a reason.
“Yeah. The FBI has a different definition of retired than I do, apparently.” Rafe opened the door to his apartment and dropped his bag by the door.
“Are they pressuring you to come back?”
“Nothing I can’t handle.”
Noah was quiet for a moment. “You’ve given them enough of your life. Lucia would be devastated if you left again.”
Rafe paused midstep. “I would never do that to her. I promise. My days of disappearing are over.”
Suddenly realizing just how loud he was talking, Rafe paused, glancing into the kitchen and then behind him into the living room. Diana liked to burrow into the cushions of the couch while watching TV and sometimes fell asleep there. He shouldn’t be talking about disappearing so cavalierly when she could overhear. His shoulders dropped in relief when he didn’t see her. She was probably taking a shower. He walked down the hall to his office.
“Good. You’re an important part of this family. Izzy is going to need her uncle around to help keep her safe. Especially if she grows up anything like her mother and her aunt JJ.”
Rafe snorted and pushed open the door to his office. Immediately, all his senses went on alert.
Someone had been in here.
“Hold on, Noah. I need to check my files.” He put the phone on mute.
Rafe glanced around, noting that nothing was out of place. He shook off the weird feeling. None of his alarms had been triggered, and he’d know if someone had entered or left the apartment. He just wasn’t used to having another person in his house. It would take some getting used to, having a feminine scent lingering all around.
He pressed against the painting that hid his safe. After entering the code, he started pulling out the files. He had information saved on a thumb drive, but there were certain things he also kept in printed copies. He knew how digital data could be corrupted. After glancing through quickly, he didn’t see anything relevant. Closing the safe, he stood and took the phone off mute.
“Nothing. I’ve got nothing on him, but that doesn’t mean he’s clean. I can do some digging if you want.”
“Let’s do that. If we’re going to bring someone new on board, I need to make sure they’re safe to have around the girls.”
Rafe instantly moved the task to the top of his priority list. Anyone who would have that much access to his sister and his niece would have to pass muster with him first.
Rafe walked down the hallway, wondering in earnest where Diana was. She’d been cleaning up after breakfast when he’d left.
It was kind of pathetic, actually, that he missed her. He’d only been gone two hours. He shook his head.
“I hear you. You know I don’t want anyone who isn’t trustworthy near Lucia and Izzy either.”
Noah chuckled. “Why do you think I called you? You’re the only one in the universe who might be as overprotective of them as I am.” He paused. “You know if the FBI is giving you trouble, you can tell me, right?”
Rafe clutched the phone tighter. “It’s all good. You don’t need to make any enemies on my behalf.”
Noah paused. “I will if necessary.”