chapter five
The next day, Diana waited for about ten minutes after Rafe left before she jumped out of bed and started searching the apartment again. She’d learned her lesson the prior day. He’d been gone such a short time that he’d almost caught her inspecting the windowsills.
She couldn’t afford that kind of error again. This morning he’d said he was going out for some groceries to make breakfast, so she was pretty sure it would take him at least half an hour even if he only got a few things.
As she pulled open drawer after drawer, she was struck again by how sparse everything was. If she had to guess, she’d think he’d only just moved in instead of having been here for years.
Her fingers lifted to the chain around her neck. The half-dollar was tarnished as hell after all these years, but it wasn’t about what it looked like. Every time she touched it, she could almost hear her father’s voice. Luck comes to the bold, Diana. If you want it, then you have to go and get it.
She breathed through the pain of missing him, an ache that might go dormant for weeks and then return with a vengeance that could take her to her knees. Over the years, she’d heard so many platitudes about death. It gets easier with time. Time heals all wounds. It was all bullshit. Because no matter how much time passed, she was still alone. Left with no parents, and brothers who regularly forgot she existed.
And there was no way to heal that.
No, there was no healing in her future. But there was something that would make her feel better—getting revenge on the one who’d torn her world apart.
The thought galvanized her, and she moved faster. When she’d staged the crash, she’d known then that she couldn’t take anything with her, so she’d left her actual valuables in the long-term hotel room she’d booked under an alias. Eventually she’d go retrieve her things. But for now, appearing helpless and needy worked in her favor.
If she’d gotten his psychology right, Rafe wouldn’t allow her to leave but instead would ask her to stay under his protection until he was sure she was okay. She shook her head. It was such a strange thing that there were some violent men who believed in protecting women. It was the most oddly contradictory thing, but she’d observed it before.
I guess he doesn’t feel the same obligation to be a protector when he’s out killing men.
Diana growled at the thought and then walked to the kitchen to retrieve a plastic bag. Not that she had much to take with her, just the makeup and the outfits they’d picked up when Rafe took her out shopping.
Just as she got back to the bedroom, the door opened behind her, and she paused. What the hell? She’d been listening for him and hadn’t heard a thing. It was a reminder of just what kind of man she was dealing with. Rafael DeMarco was not someone she could afford to underestimate.
“Hey, Diana.” His eyes dropped to the plastic bag in her hand and his eyes narrowed. “What are you doing? You’re leaving?”
The “without saying goodbye” hung unspoken in the air between them, and Diana almost felt guilty. Almost. His chivalrous streak had been a surprising yet helpful discovery. She hadn’t counted on feeling guilty for playing on it though.
Imagine that, feeling guilty for playing with the feelings of a murderer.
Diana squared her shoulders. “You’ve done enough. I’m sure you don’t need me hanging around any longer than necessary.”
“You’re not in the way at all. And I don’t think you should be out there until you have a safe place to stay. You don’t, do you?”
She didn’t meet his eyes. Keep it mild. Look sad.
“That’s really none of your business. You can’t tell me what to do.”
Rafe let out a frustrated growl. “You’re right, I can’t.”
Immediately Diana started to panic. Had she gotten this wrong? She’d assumed he would insist that she stay as long as she wanted, but maybe she’d overplayed her hand. Damn it. If he let her leave, she wouldn’t have the time she needed to search his place. She needed him to get comfortable leaving her alone in the apartment for extended periods of time.
“Thank you for what you did. I don’t know if I really expressed how grateful I am. You could have just left me at the bottom of that ravine.”
Rafe grimaced. “No, I couldn’t have. You needed help. I gave it. It’s what I do. Or at least, it’s what I try to do.”
Was that guilt on his face? Diana couldn’t process the roiling emotions stirred up by his words. If he tried to help people, why hadn’t he helped her father? Did it haunt him, the things he’d done and the people he’d hurt? Maybe that was why he was trying to help people now, to atone for his past. But either way, it wouldn’t bring her father back.
“I still think you should stay,” he continued. “But I can’t force you. But I just have one question. The guy who did that.” He pointed at her ribs. “Is he out there looking for you?”
Diana crossed her arms. “I know how to stay off the radar.”
Surprisingly, he laughed. “Not denying that. But no matter where you go, he could find you. That won’t happen here.”
She pretended to think about it while inside she was smirking. Finally. She was in.
“I guess I could stay a little longer. If you’re sure I’m not in the way.”
“You’re not in the way. Where were you even going to go?”
She shrugged. “A motel or something. I need to think about what to do next. My life is a bit of a shit show right now.”
“Well, as someone with a PhD in shit shows, let me tell you that it’s much easier to figure out what to do next when you’re not listening to a methed-out guy next door coming down from a high. Or worried about whether someone will break in.”
Diana laughed as she was sure he’d expected her to. “You’re right. And I know I must seem ungrateful, but I really appreciate the room.”
She dropped the plastic bag on the bed. “So did you get groceries?”
Rafe seemed more than happy to change the subject. “Yes, I did. Although I can’t claim to be the best cook. You’re going to have to settle for scrambled eggs and… scrambled eggs.”
Diana shook her head. “At least I can be useful. Or at least I can do better than just eggs.”
She followed him to the kitchen and gasped at the pile of plastic bags filled with groceries on the counter.
When she looked over at him, Rafe shrugged sheepishly. “You needed food. So I just got some of everything.”
Determined not to be touched by the thoughtful gesture, Diana approached the counter. Just because she hated him didn’t mean they both needed to starve.
“Today I have some work to do, so I’ll be in my room for a while. Then later we have a party to go to.”
“We?” Diana paused in the act of digging through the bags. She’d been counting on him leaving at some point so she could have more time to search the place. It bothered her that she hadn’t seen any indication of a safe. He would have one, wouldn’t he? Who stole a priceless jewel and then didn’t put it in a safe? Unless he’d hidden it somewhere else. Maybe where they were going could provide a clue.
“A party, you say? Where?”
He put a carton of milk in the refrigerator before answering. “At my sister’s place. It’s just family, nothing fancy. But it should be fun, and the food will be amazing.”
She kept her expression even as she mulled it over. It would cut into her time searching the apartment, but seeing his sister’s place could yield clues. And if everyone there was busy talking, maybe they wouldn’t notice her poking around.
“Sounds good. Now, how do you like your eggs?”
“Cooked,” Rafe replied. “That’s about as picky as I get.”
Diana picked up a spatula. “Okay then.” She hated to admit it, but if she didn’t hate Rafael DeMarco so much, she’d probably like him.
With a deep breath, Rafe knocked on the door, waiting until he heard her soft response before opening it. Diana lounged on the bed, reading one of the thrillers from his bookshelf.
“Are you ready to go?”
Diana sat up so fast the book fell to the ground. “Already? I figured it would be at nighttime.”
“No, it’s actually a birthday party, so it’s in the afternoon. We have time if you want to change or… do girl stuff.”
Her lips twitched. “I probably should. I’m sure your family will wonder why you’re bringing some girl who looks like she was on the losing end of a boxing match.”
Fucking hell. He hadn’t even considered that she might not feel well enough to go. “I should have asked how you were feeling first. Sorry. If you’re sore, we don’t have to go. We can stay here and hang out.”
Diana looked at him strangely. “You don’t have to miss a family party because of me. Besides”—a light blush tinted her cheeks—“I’m okay. The ribs hurt a little bit less when I breathe in each day.”
He wasn’t sure how to respond. Was she just saying that so he wouldn’t worry? He was severely out of practice at decoding woman-speak. Sure, he’d had relationships of sorts. But none ever lasted for more than a few months. And none of those women had ever known who he was or even a reasonable facsimile of the truth. Three months was usually the mark where it became too exhausting to lie all the time. Even when he was deep undercover and he had to fully believe the story of who he was, it was still hard to lie to someone you were supposed to trust. In the field, that saved your life. But out in the real world, that just destroyed you.
“Good. That’s good then. But take your time getting ready. I didn’t mean to rush you.”
Another flush and she tucked a wayward blond lock behind her ear. “Oh. Yeah. Sure. Let me just maybe change into something a little nicer.”
“You don’t have to get dressed up or anything. It’s just a birthday party. We’re not formal people.”
She shook her head. “Yes, I do. Men don’t get it. I can’t show up looking horrible. They’ll wonder what’s wrong with you taking in a stray.”
Rafe stepped into the room and sat on the bed next to her. “You look great. And if I’m being honest, having you there will help me feel less nervous. Please come.”
Who the hell was he? He wasn’t used to asking anyone for anything. Usually what came out of his mouth when dealing with women were commands. Do this. Come here. Let’s go to bed. He didn’t have softness in him. But for her, it seemed he did.
She licked her lips, and Rafe’s eyes pinned to the pink tip of her tongue. Instant heat flashed through his body. Shit, he really needed to get a handle on that.
“Look, it’s not like that. Everyone will be cool. Besides, I don’t want you sitting here cooped up and scared. I want you with me.”
She licked her lips again, and he worked hard to stifle a growl. “You’re sure no one will mind?”
“Are you kidding? My sister will very likely roll out the welcome mat for you.”
She gave him a shy smile. “Okay. Give me ten minutes to change.”
Much to his surprise, she appeared in the living room exactly eight minutes later. Rafe was used to a different measurement of time when dealing with women getting ready to go out. Usually ten minutes meant forty-five. But Diana was wearing the same dress, now laundered and dry, that he’d found her in.
She was quiet as he led her down to the parking garage. Rafe had no idea what to say, so they made the short drive in silence.
When they reached the Blake Security building, Diana peered up at the signage. “Wow. Glass and steel. Impressive. What are we doing here?”
“This is where the party is.”
“At a security company?” Her brows shot up.
His lips twitched. “It’s sort of a long story. My brother-in-law owns the place. Sort of a work-live situation.”
“Okay then. Let’s do this,” she said with a sunny smile.
Rafe tried to match her enthusiasm, but nervous energy still flowed through his veins. When they reached the elevator, she slid her hand into his and squeezed. Her tiny, delicate hand gave him warmth, gave him strength. He tapped in the code to reach the penthouse and then leaned forward for the retinal scan. If Diana thought that was strange, she said nothing.
When the elevator doors pinged, he sucked in a deep breath. Next to him, Diana squeezed his hand and gave him a bright smile. “It will be fine. Watch. I have a feeling about these things.”
They were met in the foyer by Oskar, whose permanent scowl was in place.
“Oskar, how’s it going?”
“You’re here, so not great.” The German turned his attention to Diana, and his whole countenance changed as he suddenly plastered a wide smile on his face.
Rafe had to mutter under his breath. “Okay, I get you. Turn the wattage down.”
His sometimes friend just laughed. “What’s the matter, afraid of a little competition?” Oskar looked back to Diana. “So, are you going to introduce me to my future wife?”
Diana just laughed. “Are you always this outrageous?”
Oskar nodded. “Pretty much. I’m not as bad as Noah though. So, Rafe, you can thank your lucky stars.”
Rafe pursed his lips. He was happier when the German was his usual scowling self. When he smiled, it made him almost appear charming.
“Okay, that’s enough. Diana, this is Oskar. He works with my brother-in-law.”
The German grinned again. “When you get tired of this guy, come find me.”
Diana giggled, and Rafe tugged her behind him. He found Noah in the kitchen, attempting to molest his sister, who was laughing as he copped a feel. “Seriously, do you guys have to do that? There are people around.”
Lucia laughed and pushed Noah away before rushing over to give him a hug. It didn’t matter that he worked here now and she saw him almost every day, she always hugged him like she was trying to make up for all the days they’d missed.
He held her tight. It was still weird as hell to see Noah with his sister. Yeah, sure, he’d always loved the guy like a brother. But him and Lucia… Rafe had never even considered it an option. And now they were happily married and parents of the only other person who had him wrapped around her little finger more than Lucia—his niece, Isabella.
Noah came over and gave him a one-armed clap and then a good thump on the back. “What’s up, brother?” He inclined his head and slid his gaze to Diana while Lucia was dancing from foot to foot. Oh boy. They were going to make this a big deal.
“Guys, this is Diana. She’s a friend of mine. Diana, this is Noah Blake and my sister, Lucia.”
Noah shook her hand briefly and welcomed her to the party. Lucia was far more exuberant and hugged her tight before taking her hand and dragging her out of the kitchen, talking a mile a minute.
Noah turned his attention back to Rafe. “A friend?”
Rafe just shrugged. “I do occasionally have those.”
Noah narrowed his gaze and studied him for a long moment. Then he started to laugh. “Friends. Uh-huh.”
Rafe shook him off. “Shut up.”
“I never thought I’d see the day Rafe DeMarco—” He paused. “Does she know who you are? Or are you using an alias?”
Rafe shook his head. “No alias. I’m out, remember?”
Noah nodded. “So, this is new then.”
“This is nothing. She’s just a friend. That’s all.”
Noah chuckled. “Yeah, you just go ahead and tell yourself that.” His friend clapped him on the back and said, “Come on, I just got the text from Dylan. Nonna will be here in ten minutes.”
Rafe tried to make small talk. But his gaze kept tracking Diana. Lucia had commandeered her. And JJ, Lucia’s best friend, was regaling her with stories of when they were young. He could only pray that JJ didn’t give away all his dirt. But given that Diana was laughing, they were probably staying away from him as a topic.
He hoped.
Diana accepted another glass of punch and tried to tune back in to the conversation. Lucia had made sure she was introduced to everyone, and her brain was swimming with all the names. But after a few minutes, it didn’t seem to matter. Everyone included her in the conversation, so she didn’t feel like an interloper at all.
To her surprise, Rafe’s family seemed… nice.
It was a startling and incongruous thing that actually made her feel a little grumpy. Every part of her was uncomfortable with getting to know these women who talked about Rafe like some kind of superhero, knowing that she had every intention of exposing his crimes to the world. But now she was being forced to view the collateral damage of her plan. Rafe might be a murdering bastard, but he had family that loved him dearly. They’d be hurt once she got enough evidence to put him in jail. It didn’t change what she had to do. Rafe needed to pay for his crimes. But she’d have to have ice water in her veins not to care that she’d be hurting nice people also.
As soon as she could, Diana excused herself and started toward the hallway she’d seen Lucia go down a few minutes ago. There had to be a bathroom back there. She needed a few minutes of quiet to get herself together. Rafe didn’t trust her completely yet, but he wasn’t threatened by her, obviously, or he wouldn’t have brought her around his family. She needed to stay focused and get him to trust her enough to leave her in his apartment while he went to work.
This was no time to go soft. Not when she was so close to her target.
“Oh, shit! Sorry!” Diana skidded to a halt at the sight of Lucia and her husband wrapped around each other.
Lucia lifted her head, her eyes blurry. Noah didn’t even acknowledge the interruption, burying his face in Lucia’s neck while his hands lifted her higher. He stepped closer between her legs, pressing her against the wall.
“Okaaay… I’ll just go back to the party now.” Diana laughed softly as the couple ignored her and continued attacking each other with their lips.
JJ met her at the end of the hallway. “Are you okay?”
“Oh fine. Totally fine.”
The other woman gave her a strange look. “You’re as red as a tomato. Let me guess, you caught Noah slobbing his wife down.”
Diana choked. “Is that a common occurrence around here?”
“Yes. All the time. Not that I can talk, but at least my boyfriend and I keep it behind closed doors.” JJ shook her head and started down the hallway. The next thing Diana heard was her shouting, “Get a room, you guys!”
Just then there was a loud chime. What was that? As she walked to the foyer, she realized it was the elevator. She hadn’t heard that noise when they’d ridden up.
A beautiful older woman stepped off the elevator, followed by a handsome young man who was holding several bags.
“Nonna!”
Someone rushed by her, and Diana turned to see Lucia walking toward the older woman. She carried a little girl with dark hair and big gray eyes. Diana recognized the baby from her surveillance.
“Hello, bambina. I brought your gnocchi and some tiramisu for the boys.”
Lucia accepted a kiss and then suddenly turned, thrusting the baby into Diana’s arms. On instinct, she clutched the little girl against her.
“Oh no, I don’t really know anything about babies.”
But even as she said it, the little girl cuddled against her chest and rested a tiny fist near her throat. Diana’s heart clutched at the gesture.
“Look, she likes you. She’s finicky about who she lets hold her. You know, they say children can sense a good person. I’m glad Rafe has a good woman in his life.” Lucia squeezed her arm gently before following the man holding the bags of food.
“Rafe?” The older woman looked over at Lucia’s words. But Lucia was already gone. Suddenly the older woman paused, and her eyes fixed on something across the room. Rafe.
“Oh. Oh. I didn’t know you would be here.”
Rafe came forward, his expression so painfully tender that Diana found it difficult to watch. Who was this man? He definitely wasn’t the cynical, paranoid one she’d arrived with.
“Of course I’m here,” Rafe murmured. “It’s your birthday, Nonna. I couldn’t miss that. I’ve missed too many already.”
Nonna let out a happy cry and embraced him. “I know you have, bambino. But you’re back now. And so skinny! Well, I’ll fix that.”
Rafe leaned down into the hug, his eyes closing as she stroked his hair. Diana couldn’t hear what he was saying to her, but she could read the love between the two, and it took her off guard. She hadn’t had that. It twisted her up inside watching them. Her father had loved her; she knew that. But being gentle didn’t come naturally to him. He’d wanted her to be smart and independent and not to need anyone. She hadn’t gotten many hugs, though there had been pats on the back for a job well done before her father retreated back to his office. Her brothers weren’t the demonstrative types either. Mainly they ignored her unless they needed something.
She’d figured that was just how most men were. They weren’t as emotional as women. After a while she’d learned not to expect hugs or softness. The way to gain her father’s love was by providing results. Straight As on her report card. Winning a tennis tournament. That was how to get acknowledgment or the rare smile.
But this, this unabashed joy flowing from one to the other, wasn’t something she was familiar with. And the longing she felt watching it took her completely off guard.
“Ba, ba, ba, ba.” The baby in her arms babbled and blew a small spit bubble. Then she looked at Diana and grinned.
When Lucia appeared at her elbow, Diana handed the baby back and mumbled an excuse about needing the bathroom. But truthfully what she needed was a break.
She’d thought she knew everything she needed to know about Rafe from her research and her surveillance. But the man she was slowly getting to know wasn’t anything like the stone-cold killer she’d come here expecting.
So which one was the real Rafe?