chapter eight
Control gone.
Never mind that this might be a bad idea. Never mind that his instincts were still searching for a reason not to trust her. He wanted her. For once he wanted softness and hope. He’d lived in the dark for too long. He didn’t want to be that person anymore.
He wasn’t in that world anymore. He lived in the light now. He’d thought like a killer for too damn long. Rafe stood with her in his arms. He wasn’t sure where he was taking them, but he needed a good surface to spread her out on. She had so many enticing dips and curves, and he wanted to explore them all.
Lifting her easily, he carried her to his bedroom and placed her gently in the middle of the bed. Diana spread her arms out to stabilize herself and then giggled as he crawled over her.
“I feel like a gazelle being stalked by a lion.” She spread her legs to make room for him.
Rafe settled against her, feeling her heat even through the thick material of her jeans. Which reminded him that they were both overdressed. He tugged the denim down her legs, leaving her in a pair of plain white cotton panties. Why the fuck was that so hot? He made quick work of his own clothes, tossing everything in a pile at the foot of the bed. Diana’s eyes widened when she took him in, and Rafe was never more grateful for the punishing workout regime he maintained. Being a professional bad guy had taken its toll on his psyche, but it had done insane things for his muscle definition.
“Wow,” Diana breathed. “You look like you were carved out of concrete.” Her eyes roamed over every inch of him, finally landing on the huge erection that he didn’t even bother trying to hide from her.
“Yeah, that part too, huh?”
A blush stole up her neck and cheeks. “Definitely that part.”
He crawled over her, kissing up her right leg until he got to the edge of those fucking sexy-ass panties. It made him think of when he’d had to talk his way into a girl’s panties in high school. So innocent and fucking sweet. All the reasons Diana could do so much better than a guy like him.
“I wish I could be better for you,” he said before he thought about it. But he’d taken this as slow as he could, had given her time to turn him down, but he wasn’t giving her any more.
He wasn’t that fucking nice.
“You are exactly who you’re supposed to be, Rafael DeMarco. And I like that.”
He might not be the good guy she deserved, but he was the guy who could fuck her like she needed. He could worship her perfect body so she’d never again accept anything less than adoration from any man in the future.
He tugged the panties down and then instantly replaced the fabric with his tongue. Surprised, Diana arched into his touch. Soft moans floated down to him as he grasped her under the hips and pulled her closer. He needed to get deeper. When he finally thrust his tongue in and then pulled back to focus on her clit, she screamed as she shook and clenched against his face.
The reaction just spurred him on, and he didn’t let her rest or pull back. He swirled his tongue around the little hot button that he knew would take her there again. Rafe loved everything about being with her this way, having her honey all over his face and feeling her come unraveled with each suck, lick, and touch.
“Rafe, you have to stop. I-I can’t take any more!”
He shook his head and she squealed when the movement brushed his tongue back and forth over the lips of her sex.
Oh, you like that, do you?
He did it again, deliberately, tickling the plump lips around her sex with delicate licks and kisses before he thrust a finger inside her. She broke again, crying out and grabbing his hair so hard he was sure he’d lost a few strands.
Totally worth the sacrifice, he thought when he looked up a few minutes later to see a look of complete and total satisfaction on her face. She looked dazed.
He wiped his mouth gently on her inner thigh and then placed a soft kiss on her belly. Her being dazed and softened from pleasure was exactly what he wanted. He knew he was big, and given the way her slick flesh had clamped around his finger, she was going to be a tight fit.
He rolled away briefly to grab the box of condoms that had been unopened since he moved here nearly a year ago. What does that say about normal life? Well, he had a lot of making up to do. Hands trembling with need, he quickly sheathed himself, then repositioned himself between her thighs.
When he slid inside, her eyes flew open and her fingers curled into his shoulders. She was so wet he’d gone farther than he meant to, and Rafe had to bite the inside of his cheek to maintain control. There was nothing like this, being held in her soft, wet heat.
“Oh!” Diana’s wide eyes locked on his.
He stopped, giving her time to adjust. She shuddered and her pussy clamped around him so hard his eyes almost rolled into the back of his head.
“Goddamn, you are so damn tight.”
He couldn’t take it anymore. He pulled back and then slid forward all the way. Her muscles sucked him in and rippled around his dick as he thrust harder and harder. Slow down, don’t hurt her, take your time. His brain screamed at him to be careful with her, but all his good intentions were lost when her hands slid over his shoulders and down his back to land on his ass. Her nails curled into the flexing muscles.
“It feels so good—don’t stop.” Diana sobbed against his shoulder when she came again, and the tight, clamping rhythm of her release pushed him right to the edge.
“Fuck! Your pussy was made for me, you know that?” He growled it right in her ear, noting how she got even wetter at the dirty words.
“Rafe!”
Her scream was the last thing he heard before he was sucked under in a whirling storm that fractured everything into brilliant white lights.
Holy hell, what had she just done?
Her inner sex kitten stretched languorously. You had yourself a whole bunch of orgasms.
She’d meant to fuck with his life, but she hadn’t meant to actually fuck him. Jesus H. Christ. She was so screwed.
Ain’t that the truth.
The man had stamina, that much was not in question. Diana huffed out a breath and pushed her hair out of her face. Next to her, Rafe lay sprawled over the other side of the bed, looking just as destroyed as she felt. They’d been at it for hours, and it was only now that he was allowing her to rest.
He wasn’t really allowing her to rest; it was more like he’d had to take a break too. She didn’t have much experience, but he’d demanded that she give as good as she got. And if the dopey, satisfied look on his face was any indication, she’d done that. Yeah, but at what cost? Unwanted guilt wormed its way into her heart and planted a seed.
So. Screwed.
This whole plan hinged on her being as cold and calculating as he was. But that’s not the truth, is it? She’d made a mistake at the party. Hell, before the party. She’d started to see him as a person. Not just a man, but someone like her who’d made bad decisions along the way. She’d humanized him, and there was no coming back from that. She’d have to live with the guilt.
When he turned his head and saw her watching him, his lips stretched into a lazy smile. Then, in a sudden motion that made Diana squeak, his arm wrapped around her middle and dragged her right up next to him. His face nuzzled into the curve of her neck, and she had to fight back a sigh of contentedness. Who would have thought Rafe would be a snuggler?
“Do you need anything? Thirsty?”
Diana shook her head. “I don’t think I could move if the building was on fire. My legs are jelly.”
His low, sexy laugh sent chills up and down her spine, and her traitorous nipples immediately stood at attention. She scowled. After a marathon session like they’d just had, every part of her should be satisfied. But no, apparently certain parts of her would always react to Rafe even when she felt like she’d been wrung completely dry.
“Good. That means my work here is done.” Rafe kissed her behind the ear and then stretched. “I’m going to shave and then take a shower. You should rest.”
Diana watched as he got out of the bed and walked over to the dresser. She didn’t bother to hide the fact that she was staring. A naked Rafe was truly a sight to behold. With his dark, ebony hair and that honey skin tone, he looked like the perfect fantasy of tall, dark, and handsome. That description would forever be modified to tall, dark, insanely muscular, and handsome for Diana. She couldn’t keep the smile off her face when he bent over to get something out of the dresser.
Stupid vagina.
Everything on him, including the incredible ass currently in front of her, was tight, firm, and looked like you could bounce quarters off it.
He turned around and noticed her staring. “Keep looking at me like that and you’re going to get fucked… again. Is that what you want?”
The low timbre of his voice made her wet. Just like that. So simple. So easy. “Jesus. You’re a machine, and I’m sore all over. I think I need a rest.”
He prowled back to the bed, leaning over to trail kisses up her leg. “Wish I could say I’m sorry. But I’m not. And if you’re sore, there are a few other places I didn’t touch, kiss, or fuck last night.” His gaze flickered to hers and he winked.
Oh fuck.
Her inner sex kitten: Yes. Hell yes. Get the lube. ALL the lube.
Her: Gulp.
Her mouth hung open and he chuckled to himself. “Keep that up and you’ll catch my dick in your mouth.”
Diana just laughed and pulled the covers over her head. She heard the bathroom door shut a few seconds later.
She blushed and pulled the sheet around her body. The sounds of the shower filtered in from behind the door across from the bed. How he had the energy to even stand upright, she would never know. It felt like every bone in her body had been turned into jelly. Good sex will do that to you. At least that was what she’d heard.
Damn, I can’t believe that’s what I’ve been missing all this time.
Nope. Uh-uh. She wasn’t going to reflect on his talented mouth, fingers, or dick right now. She was at DEFCON 1. She’d slept with him. She needed to regroup. Get her priorities in order. She could still do this.
Are you sure you want to?
Tears pricked her lids. This was so fucked. What did she have if she didn’t have this? She’d made a mistake, and now she needed to live with it. She couldn’t dwell on how disappointed she was with herself. Or how much she was betraying her family.
The sound of her phone ringing pulled her out of her thoughts. With the sheet wrapped around her, she ran out to the living room to get her phone from her jacket. By the time she got there, it had stopped ringing.
Charisse. She immediately called her back.
“Hey honey, you okay? You didn’t check in last night like usual.”
That’s because she’d been busy hanging on to Rafe’s shoulders and trying not to die from too many orgasms. Diana winced. Constant phone calls would have been suspicious, but she’d been keeping Charisse updated each day with a quick text message. Her friend was already worried enough about her going through with this crazy plan.
“I— Uh, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you worry.”
“Well, I did worry. Where the hell were you? Please don’t tell me if it was anything dangerous.”
“No. Not dangerous. I just… fell asleep.”
Charisse was silent for a beat. Then two. “Oh. My. God. You slept with him!”
“It’s not my fault. But he kissed me… and…” Her voice trailed. “Well, I don’t really know what happened after that. I know I shouldn’t have, okay? I feel shitty about it.”
Charisse stayed silent.
“Fuck. Say something.”
“Was it good?”
Was it ever. “Seriously, I tell you I fucked the enemy and you ask if it was good?”
“I mean, was it?”
“Yes, damn it.”
“But you still want to go through with the plan.”
“I don’t really have a choice. That’s why I’m here.”
“Or maybe you do have a choice, and you’ve lived with this for so long and ignored who you are as a person and as a woman and you needed this. Maybe it’s time to bury this vendetta.”
“What, and live a blissfully shagged life with my father’s killer?”
“When you put it that way, it does sound a little warped.” Charisse took a breath. “So what’s the plan, Stan? You going to sleep with him again?”
Vagina: Fuck yes.
Brain: Hell no.
Her brain won out despite the deep pull in her belly. “No. I’m going to do my best to wrap this up and stay alive.”
She glanced around the kitchen where the remains of their dinner were still on the table, spilled wine and all. The place was a damn disaster. The situation just kept spinning more and more out of control, and she was afraid that eventually she’d be thrown off the ride. She blew out a breath as she grabbed a dishrag and started cleaning. It was something to take her mind off how crazy the situation was at least. She’d made such a mess of things. So it was time to get to plan B, or she was going to make a deadly mistake.
“I just—”
“What, Char?”
“I just hope you know what you’re doing.”
“Me too. I always have the Corbin James contingency.” Corbin James was the fictitious ex she’d created for herself. If things got too hot, she’d leave some clues that her ex had found her, and she’d vanish. Rafe would be so busy looking for a ghost that it would be too late by the time he found her real trail.
At least she hoped that’s how things would go.
“I hope it doesn’t come down to that.”
“Yeah, me too.” Diana put the last of the dishes in the dishwasher and then went back to wipe down the table. She could hear Charisse breathing softly and figured her friend was trying to come up with something to say. But in the end she just sighed.
“Be safe, Diana. Love you.”
“Love you too. I’ll call you later today when it’s safer.”
“Uh-huh. Be careful.”
“Always.”
Diana hung up with a sinking feeling in her stomach. Then she turned, and her stomach dropped completely when she saw Rafe standing in the doorway to the kitchen, watching her with shrewd eyes.
Oh shit! “Hey, there you are. I didn’t hear the shower stop.” Diana cursed herself silently as soon as she said it. She didn’t need to point out to him that she’d been listening for when he was done.
“I finished and came looking for you. I thought you’d be back asleep.” He looked over at the clean table. “Apparently I didn’t tire you out as well as I thought I did.”
Diana blushed. “You did. I only got up because I heard my phone ringing. I figured the least I could do was start cleaning up.”
He moved closer. “You don’t need to do that. I can think of much better uses for all this extra energy.”
Relieved that he was in a playful mood, Diana put her arms around his waist. He hadn’t bothered to put a shirt on after his shower, so he was only wearing a pair of loose gym shorts. The scruff that looked so sexy on him was gone now, and he was clean-shaven. It was ridiculous that a man could look so good both ways.
“I’ve never seen you without the beard. You look good. But I definitely like the stubble too.”
“Yeah. I do too. But I noticed the beard marks on your neck. And having the scruff makes it harder for me to do this.” He easily picked her up, then covered her lips with his. By the time he pulled back, Diana was dazed and panting.
“So, who was on the phone?” he asked, all while kissing lightly all over her face.
Diana could barely think, and he wanted to ask her questions. She struggled to remember who had called. Then she remembered that she couldn’t tell him who had called. No way she was putting Charisse in harm’s way.
“I was just checking my messages. I took your advice and texted my friend. She called earlier. I missed it because we were a little occupied.”
“Did she leave one?”
“Leave what?” He was using his tongue on the shell of her ear, and it made it hard to think.
He nipped her softly before saying, “A message.”
Diana looked up into his eyes and stilled. He knew something. Rafe was watching her a little too closely, and there was something in his eyes that warned her to be careful what she said. Because he would be looking for holes in her story.
“No. She’ll probably call back.”
She tried to get down, but he held her in position. The sheet had precariously slipped since he’d picked her up, and she could feel the tip of his dick poking up over the top of his shorts.
His gaze was serious even as his voice was feather soft. “Diana?”
Shit, he was going to call her on her lies. She was toast. “Yeah?”
“I think I’m going to need another shower.”
Her eyes went wide when he rocked his hips and she could feel the outline of his cock. Yes, she’d just said this was not happening again. Yes, she’d never intended to sleep with him in the first place. Yes, this was a dangerous game she was playing.
She could lie to Charisse all she wanted, but lying to herself was a habit she couldn’t abide. She wanted him. Even if that made her hate herself. It was getting nearly impossible to keep track of the lies and who she was supposed to be and when.
Especially when all she really wanted to be with Rafe was herself.
“We could shower together. You know… conserve water.”
He nodded slowly. “Environmentally minded. I like that. And I’m down. But first I’m going to make you scream like this. Then I’m going to show you just a few of the things we missed out on last night in my haste to come inside you.”
He deliberately rocked against her clit again and he’d called it, all right. She did scream.