Part of me feels as if I’ve sold my soul to the devil. I want to go back into Christian’s office and tell him that I didn’t mean to make a deal. I’m emotional and all over the place at the moment, but then I see another missed call from Agnes. So, I decide to take an early lunch and call her outside away from the office, so that I can get some fresh air and try and think clearly.

“Hey.”

Usually, I’ll be laughing and just hearing a friendly voice would put a smile on my face, but today’s different. Entirely different from any other day, so I decide not to be cold, but more direct about the way I’m feeling right now, because I don’t feel great. It’s not her fault, I just don’t want to pretend with her. I never have to, which is why we’re best friends.

“Isobel, I’ve been so worried. I called last night, and your phone was switched off, and today you’re not returning my calls or my messages.”

I clear my throat, “I can’t deal with this right now.”

Besides my boss has just offered to take my v-card. All in the space of two days, last night I was begging Leo to stay with me. My boss offered something, but today he kind of confirmed it. That’s what I really want to tell her, but I want to know about Leo and Dede first, before I say anything more about Christian.

“You know Leo’s family are selling some of their stock.”

I nod, but then she carries on talking.

“Well, we’re buying one of their horses and so I went to check out the horse with dad, because he’s hurt his knee and he can’t ride at the moment.”

She’s rambling, something that she only does when she’s nervous. I don’t interrupt her, but listen attentively.

“I saw Dede pulling up, and then they were kissing, the photo I sent you. Anyways, it was before last night. I’ve seen them a few times around town. Kissing, holding hands. Then last night was the last straw. I just thought that I can’t let him go around town disrespecting my bestie. Dad said that I shouldn’t tell that it’s none of my business. But I love you. And a real friend would say something, they wouldn’t just sit back and watch their bestie’s boyfriend completely disrespect them all the time.”

I didn’t know what to say because I never knew about his parent's financial issues, but I never knew that it was so bad that they’re selling stock. I never thought that Leo would disrespect me like that. Especially with someone like Dede.

“Did it just start when I left? The photos were from the last two weeks. So maybe he’s hooking up with her, because he’s lonely and I’m not there.”

She’s not saying anything, so I repeat my question.

“Maybe they just started going out together, and they’re not sleeping with each other. Or do you know for sure that it started before then?”

“You do know that Dede was a tramp back at high school?”

I hate her using those words; I know that she’s defending me. But when a guy sleeps around he’s the King of high school, but as for girl’s we get called sluts and every type of derogatory word under the sun.

“Don’t call her that. Please. I know that she’s been after him for so long and it’s not like she didn’t know about Leo and I. But he’s the one that cheated on me. Not her.”

“Both of them,” she blurts out and I know that she’s angry, but she’s wrong. If Leo loved me, then he wouldn’t look at her twice. He would tell her o sling her hook.

“It doesn’t matter. I guess that this has been going on for a while,” she’s avoiding my question and I don’t want to put her in a spot. It’s not fair, I realize that Leo’s the one that I should be talking to about all of this. I don’t bother because something tells me that all he’ll do is lie and say that Agnes is jealous and made up stories about him. I know Agnes hates his guts, she’s told him enough times.

She sighs, “I saw them a couple of times when you were here and asked him. He denied it, but now it’s as if he doesn’t care.”

“Why do you say that?”

She hesitates in replying and says, “When I was taking a photo of them kissing. He stopped and then winked at me after I took the shot.”

“Bastard!”

“Exactly! This is what I mean Isobel. He’s not even worth thinking about, let alone your tears. Just promise me one thing.”

“What?”

I’m hardly able to speak as I’m holding my phone in my hand and watching everyone pass me as I sit in the center of the square quite near to the office. Sometimes, when I don’t feel like going to lunch with the rest of the girls in the office, I come out here and watch everyone pass by. I don’t have to talk to anyone and sometimes, I make-up a little story about everyone else’s life. It always feels more exciting thinking about others, than my boring life which is why I came to the city. I had wanted a little sense of adventure before I got married. The realization that I’m not going to get married anytime soon should make me sad, but it has the reverse effect, it comes as a welcome relief.

“Just don’t waste any tears on him please. Go out with some of the girls. Like Jean, the one who works in finance. The one that’s helped you so much since you’ve been there. Have fun for once in your life.”

“I thought that working in the city was fun.”

“Yes, but every time I call you, you’re either sleeping or on your way or at the office. Just go out and enjoy yourself. Please.”

She didn’t need to ask me twice.

“Okay, I get the message.”

I’m thinking about what my boss said, what he’s offering and the excitement of not knowing exactly what’s install brings a smile to my face.

“I’ll have fun. Don’t worry about it.”

“Phew.”

“As for you?”

“Isobel, I have a horse to train. Not only does their son not know how to look after women, but his parents haven’t been looking after the horse.”

She sounds as if she wants to say something else, but then she says, “Okay I need to go. Remember call me anytime. I’m here for you, and I can’t wait until I come.”

She’s not the only one, in around four weeks time she’ll be here. By then I’ll have waved goodbye to my v-card, and I’ll be lusting after my boss.

“Love you too and take care.”

This time I go back to the office, not with a frown or even tears in my eyes, but with a big fat smile. Things are going to change; I can just feel it and not for the bad. Only for good.