Chapter 31
Grace
I lean over the balcony, elbows on the railing, anxiety warping my belly as I stare out into the darkness of night. Everything is still wet from the rain that’s been battering the town all day but at least the downpour has stopped now. When I left Serenity’s office, I came up to the room where Daniel and I are staying during the retreat. I was sure that he would be here. But he isn’t. And I don’t know if he’s coming back.
Maybe he finally gave up on putting us back together. Maybe he realized that I’m beyond saving and that he’s better off without me. I really hope I’m not too late. I hope I haven’t ruined us completely. A chilling slide of fear runs up my spine. Is it over? Is it really too late?
I feel like I see things so clearly now. Initially, I had my doubts about Serenity but she really put everything in perspective for me. I thought that Daniel was putting in all those hours at work because he didn’t want to be around me when in fact, his workoholism was just an effect of deeper problems. Now, that I understand that, I want to explain it all to him. I want to apologize. I want to know if we still have a chance.
It’s nearly 8:30 when I hear the door open. I rush into the room and he’s standing there in the doorway.
Neither of us moves or says a word.
He’s still wearing that preposterous yoga outfit. He looks crazy. It’s my fault. Look at all the shit I’ve done to him. He was the most-respected lawyer in town and I’ve turned him into a joke, a caricature. He quit his job for me. How will he ever forgive me?
My heart is raging. There are so many things I want to tell him, but I don’t know where to start. I open my mouth to speak but Daniel’s words come first. “I’m sorry, Grace.”
His words hang in the air between us for a moment. Then, I brave a step forward. “I’m sorry,” I say. “I’m the one who should be apologizing.” He gives me a confused look. My voice trembles. "I finally see that you aren't the defect in our relationship. This whole time, it's been me."
He closes the gap between us and his hands clamp down around my shoulders. Confusion flickers in his eyes. “What are you talking about?”
“I finally see the truth. I was never really angry with you because you were working too hard. Deep down, I was scared that you wouldn’t love me anymore if you knew the whole story. So, I started lashing out at you in different ways. I pushed you away without even realizing what I was doing. I hurt you. I’m sorry.”
The pained look on Daniel’s face shreds me on the inside. “Grace…baby…” He looks terrified to ask the question hanging in the air. His hands rise to my cheeks. “I don’t understand what you’re saying. What are you hiding?” he croaks out.
I swallow thickly and force the confession past my lips. “I don’t think that I can get pregnant again. Because of the C-section, because of all the damage and the scar tissue.” I bury myself against his strong body and his muscular arms swallow me up.
“Why do you think that? Did you go have it checked out by a doctor?”
I shake my head, feeling stupid. “I was too scared to go to the doctor. I was afraid to actually hear him say conclusively that I can’t have any more kids.”
“Jesus, Grace! I’m so sorry that you had to go through this on your own. You must have been driving yourself crazy.”
My back shakes as I cry. “I’m so sorry…I should have told you.”
His arms grow tighter around me. “Why would you ever think that I could stop loving you?” he growls into my hair. “Don’t you know how crazy I am about you?”
I shrug. "You always said you wanted a big family. Lots of brothers for Sebastian to play with."
He pushes me back and stares down into my eyes. "Oh, you heard me say that?” His irritation is clear on his face and in his tone. “Did you also hear me say that I wanted that big family with you? If I can't have a dozen kids, as long as I can have you, I'll be fine."
"I don't want you to be fine, Daniel. I want you to be happy."
"Well, now we're broken up and nobody's happy. Not you, not me, not Sebastian." He turns away from me, pacing in circles on the small mat by the door. “God – I feel like such an idiot. I haven’t been paying attention. How did I not even see this? Where the hell was I while my marriage was falling apart?”
“I don’t want you settling for me. I don’t want to be the girl you got ‘stuck’ with. If you want to go ahead with the divorce, I get it–”
He charges toward me, startling me when he grabs me by the hips and pins me to the wall. His lips brutalize mine in a kiss that is so rough, so passionate that the line between pain and pleasure isn’t evident at all.
"Shut up," he grits out. "Stop trying to pick stupid fights with me just to sabotage our relationship. I didn't understand it before but I'm onto you now and I won't let you do it. I love you and you don't get to divorce me."
Slightly alarmed and majorly turned-on, I protest, "I can do whatever the hell I want."
Our glares stay locked on each other, so much pain and anger pulsing between us. But intermingled with it all is that stubborn, hard-headed, never-dying love. He traps me in place, pressing his pelvis into mine. "Y'see, there's the rub, Grace. You don't actually want to divorce me. You just think you don't deserve me anymore. That's why you push me away. I understand. It's cute. But there's no way in hell I'm letting you get away with it."
We stopped talking to each other. We stopped being best friends. We became strangers. Still I know I'll never love anyone the way I love the crazy-making person standing in front of me, flaws exposed, heart (finally) on the table.
"I'm broken," I whisper, my voice splintering in the darkness.
He gathers me in his arms, holding me against his raging heart. "Yes, you are broken, Grace...But your other half is standing right here in front of you. Let me make you whole again. The way I need you to make me whole."
I’m too choked up to say much. “Baby…”
He brushes my hair from my eyes. "When we stood on that alter in front of God and our friends and our family, I promised you happily ever after, Grace Monroe-Trotten. I still intend on keeping that promise."
His body pulses with the truth of his statement. His desire is pure and true.
I’m literally swooning right now. I can’t think of one coherent thing to say, so I let my body do the talking. Rising to my toes, I press my lips to his neck and my fingers find the drawstring of his ridiculous pants. I push them down his hips. I want him naked. Right now.
He grins. "What are you doing?"
I glide my tongue along his clavicle. "Getting you out of these clothes before I completely lose all respect for you…” His chuckle transforms into a groan when I suck at the base of his neck. “…And then, I’m going to ride your dick.”
He grabs two greedy fistfuls of my ass and his laughter tickles the side of my face. “So, you wanna rub my magic lamp, huh?”
"I definitely want to rub your magic lamp," I purr.
Tilting my head up, he kisses me tenderly. "Before you get started, I've got three wishes." He winks down at me.
"Let's hear 'em."
"First wish – I want to lick your magic carpet until your toes curl and you're screaming my name."
Giggles fall out of my mouth. "I can make that happen. No problem."
"Second wish – I want you on my cock doing all those yoga moves we learned this morning.”
"Consider it done!"
"Third wish." He sucks in a deep breath and his features grow serious. "I want to come home, baby." He speaks with utter confidence and determination. "I'm coming home."
He lets out the air trapped in his lungs when I run my fingers down his cheek and whisper. "When?"
“As soon as we get out of this place…”
Butterflies flutter in my stomach. “Took you long enough…”
I pull him close for another kiss and he walks me backward until we spill onto the bed. He touches me in a way that’s urgent, a way that says he needs me. When he touches me like this I don’t doubt how much he loves me. I feel it all the way to my bones.
He slips his fingers under my dress, squeezing my ass in his hands. I’m already so wet. I know he can feel it through the fabric of my underwear. With eager movements, I tilt my hips off the mattress, allowing him to slide my panties down my legs.
He pauses for a second and his eyes rake over my body in the dimly-lit room. He brushes my hair out of my face and smiles. “I don’t think you’ll ever understand how much l love you, Grace.”
I reach up and caress his cheek. “I love you just as much, baby.”
And we kiss again. He smooths his hands up the insides of my thighs, spreading them apart. From his touch, it’s clear. He isn’t fucking me this time. No – tonight, we’re making love.
Every kiss is an apology. Every whimper is a confession. Every touch is an I can’t live without you…please don’t ever leave me again…you’re the only person I could ever love…
His shaft slides fluidly through my opening and a relieved exhale pours out of my mouth. This is where he belongs. Inside of me. On top of me. Pressing his body into mine.
He grinds his cock into me, each rotation of his hips full of possessiveness and dominance. "Don't you remember, baby? This pussy belongs to me." He grabs my hips, slamming my pussy onto his cock. I sob, helpless against the pleasure and desperate to feel that sweet friction again and again. "This body belongs to me. You belong to me. You're my wife. Let me hear you say it."
"I belong to you," I echo desperately, chanting the words over and over. "I belong to you. I belong to you."
He slides his hand over my chest, up to front of my throat. His fingers tighten there, exerting just the right amount of pressure. "Good. Don't forget that...And don't forget that I belong to you."
My heart flutters. I'm full. Every millimeter of my pussy is full of his thick, hard length. Every beat of my heart is full of his warmth. "I love you." The words tumble from my lips again and again as tears spill from my eyes, soaking the pillowcase.
"I love you, too, baby."
My body’s demand for release swells inside of me. I cry out, clinging to my husband’s muscular frame as that need begins to overpower my self-control. I move erratically, completely tuned to him. Daniel cradles my cheek in his hand and his gaze pierces straight to my soul as his limbs constrict above me.
Our ecstatic cries mix with the wet sounds of our bodies colliding, frantically approaching the sweet climax. We hold each other, going over the edge together. I shudder violently as his cock jerks inside of me and his seed spills into my body.
His muscles go limp and he can barely hold himself up. He leans down and our tongues dance together before he drops to the mattress beside me.
We lie together for a long time, chests rising and falling in sync. Finally, he looks over at me and grins. “Do you finally believe how much I love you? Or do I need to give you a few more orgasms to get the message across?”
I wrinkle my nose at him. “I may need a few more orgasms…”
His laugh comes from deep in his chest. “So be it…” He squeezes my thigh. “But I’ve gotta pee. Need to use the bathroom?”
I look at him and I’ve got stars in my eyes. Such a fucking gentleman. “No, you use the toilet first. I still need a minute to recover.”
He places a kiss on my forehead and then rolls out of bed, padding to the bathroom and giving me a spectacular view of his toned glutes.
My husband is one hot piece of ass. I’m a lucky girl.
But when I feel his cum spilling down my thighs, it all becomes too much for me. I roll over, burying my face in the pillow. Yes, he loves me but it still kills me knowing that my impotent body can't make use of my husband's wonderful seed.