Chapter Three
Silas
I had been lucky to get a job at a local construction company about a year ago. I had to put my ego aside and tell myself that the money was important. I also promised myself that working in construction would not mean that my dream of becoming a singer would be put aside. I could still work toward my goal while making money in another field. Luckily, all my singing gigs were at night, and construction was in the day. If I did both on the same day, I generally felt exhausted, but I would never say no to a gig if one came about.
As it turned out, I didn’t have all that many gigs to go to. They weren’t nearly as easy to come by as I thought, and over the year, I could still count how many I had done. And I’d yet to be invited to something big and memorable, with most of my gigs being in little venues where nobody was really interested in watching the performers. I was starting to think that I needed a different marketing scheme. Right now, I was going by the hope that luck would come my way. I figured that working hard and getting out there would ensure that success would follow, but perhaps this wasn’t the case. A lot of the guys that I knew who had made it big hadn’t been any better than me. They’d simply had better connections. I needed to find those connections without compromising who I was.
Thankfully, in the meantime, I actually enjoyed the construction work. It wasn’t permanent, so they only called me when they needed me, but I always walked away from the job feeling satisfied. I was good at the job. Working hard ran deep through my family, through brothers and cousins alike. We might all be very different people, but we all knew how to work hard. It was just a part of who we were.
I made my way over to the construction site and found my boss.
“Gary, thanks for calling me out today.”
“I should be the one thanking you,” Gary said. He was a short, stocky man, who somehow still managed to tower over everyone with his personality instead of his height. I admired the way he spoke to people and had learned a lot from him over the years. He commanded respect, but not fear, and it wasn’t something you saw often in people with power.
“Silas, I actually need your help today.”
“That’s why I’m here, isn’t it?”
“I need more than that, though. I just found out the site manager is not in today and I need you to run the crew. I couldn’t think of a better person to leave these guys with. I have to be out at another site so I can’t be here to make sure that things run smoothly. I’ll go over the plans with you before I go, of course. Are you okay with that? I know being a site manager is not what you normally do, but I figured you’d be great at it. You’re just the sort of guy for the job. Of course, if you don’t want to, that is fine.”
I smiled. It was a huge compliment. And I figured it was going to bring me a bit more money than just being one of the workers. I had never worked as a site manager before so it was nice that he was asking me over everyone. Gary and I had always gotten along great.
“Absolutely. I’m glad that you trust me with it. Yeah, I’d love to give it a shot.”
I walked over to Gary’s car while he ran through the plans with me. I’d done enough construction work to know exactly what he was talking about, and I was glad that I also knew the group of guys that were working that day. I knew almost all of them except for two new guys. Once Gary finished going through everything with me, I walked over to the guys to let them know what was happening. I was glad to see that nobody seemed upset that I would be their boss for the day. They all took it in their stride and listened to what I had to say. Even the new guys were fine with me.
I spent the day walking around the site, giving orders and helping out where I could. The guys were all just as hardworking as me and getting them to do what I wanted was easy. I didn’t think I’d enjoy running the show, but I took more pleasure from it than I expected to. Maybe it would be different if I was working with a more difficult team, but these guys were making things easy for me. At the end of the day, one of the guys came up to me.
“It was great having you run the show today, man.”
I smiled. “Are you being sarcastic?” I asked. I could never tell with Tommy. He was the joker of the group. Even when he was in a bad mood, he couldn’t help but crack a few jokes. It was just a part of who he was. He was one of the guys I enjoyed working with the most because of this. Even when we were exhausted, and dripping with sweat, he would find a way to make me laugh about something.
He laughed. “I’m not, actually. I mean it. It was great having you around today. To be honest, it was better than usual. The guys seem to have more respect for you. That’s why they were all working so hard today.”
I grinned at him. “That’s nice to hear. I enjoyed it. I had no idea that I would be able to do something like this. And look at what we did today. We’re actually ahead of schedule. We were supposed to finish today’s job in about an hour or two, so this is great. In fact, it’s been such a good day that I’m going to reward everyone with some beers. Who’s in?” I yelled.
The guys all finished up what they were doing, packed up, and together we headed out to the local pub for some beers. I knew I probably shouldn’t be spending money that way but I was feeling good after my day with the boys, and I felt like treating them for their hard work. This was probably exactly why I shouldn’t do a job like this, though. The guy that is normally in charge would never buy the guys beers, but he was probably a lot richer than I was because of it.
“I wish we could go for beers after every job,” Tommy said.
I laughed. “Yeah, that would be great. But you guys worked hard today. It was strange not doing the same work as you.”
“You did well, though. I’m not sure it’s something that most people can do. It’s not nearly as easy as people think. The guys here are always complaining about the site managers. But I know it’s not an easy job. Although, between you and me, you should totally get this job over some of the other guys.”
“You’re just saying that because I bought you a beer.”
He laughed. “Well, that certainly doesn’t harm of course. So, you thinking of working for us full-time now?”
I shrugged. “I won’t say no to a job. I definitely need the money. But, you know, I’m still holding out on my dream. I won’t give up.”
“I like that about you, Silas. You’re not giving up on your dream. How’s it going by the way? Any more gigs lined up?”
“Not even one.”
“And yet you continue to dream!”
“Yeah, sometimes I’m not sure if I’m just being delusional, but I’m not going to give up on just yet. I still have faith.” I smiled at Tommy despite the growing feeling inside me that I was perhaps holding onto a dream that would never come true.
“Good for you. And if you don’t become a singer, at least you know you have a job in construction. You’re great at this job.”
I suppose he said that to me because he was trying to make me feel better, but it only made me feel worse. I might be good at construction work or have a great future in site management, but I would be so disappointed in myself I didn’t make it as a singer. The moment I had joined the choir at school I had been sure that it was what I wanted to do with my life. I had given up so many other opportunities to pursue this dream, and I had put myself through a lot of bullying that could’ve been avoided. I had ignored the jeers and the jokes at my expense and promised myself that one day I would make them eat their words. But sometimes, as much as I hated to admit it, I wasn’t sure if I believed it anymore.
I had a good afternoon with the guys at least. They were easy to get along with, and after a day of work all they wanted to do was drink beer and relax. I envied them a little. I always thought it was good to have goals, but there was something about not having a goal that appealed to me nowadays. They did their work and then simply forgot about it when the day was over. I imagined them all going home to their wives or partners, spending the evening doing everything else but thinking about work. It was different for me. Today had been a side job, a way to make some extra cash while I concentrated on the bigger picture. They would all go home and feel good after a good day out at work. I would go home and stress about the fact that I was still nowhere near where I wanted to be.
“All okay?” Tommy asked. “You look like you’re thinking very deeply about something.”
I smiled. “I’m fine. Just wondering what to have for dinner,” I lied.
He laughed. “That’s exactly what I’m thinking about too. I’m starving.”
I called the waiter and asked him to bring me the bill, and I tried not to cringe when I saw the amount at the bottom of the slip. I hadn’t calculated that correctly in my head and wished now that I hadn’t invited everyone out for a beer. It had seemed like a good idea at the time, but I wasn’t so sure now. I hoped someone would interject and insist on paying the bill for me, but of course, that wasn’t going to happen. They probably assumed I had more money than they did but that wasn’t the case at all. I paid the bill and felt relieved when my card didn’t bounce. Money was becoming a big issue for me. The construction work was great, but it wasn’t an everyday job, and I simply wasn’t making enough money from my singing career. Right now, the singing career was almost non-existent, and it didn’t help that my rent was so high.
I was going to have to find a new place to live. I loved my apartment, but I simply couldn’t afford to live there anymore. And I knew that there was no way I could give up on my music and do construction full-time. I would have to find somewhere cheaper to live while I pursued my dream a little bit longer. A smaller place in a not so affluent part of town almost felt like I was going backward rather than forward, but it was better than giving up on my goal altogether.
“Thanks for the beers, Silas!” Someone called out to me as we walked out the pub.
“Sure. Anytime,” I called back while silently making a promise to myself not to do it again.