Grantley
I was waiting on set for my call, when I heard hissing and whispering behind me. Turning slowing in my chair, I noticed it was her and she had two little people with her. Two little people that looked identical to each other.
Twins!
Twins freaked me out – Village of the Damned and all that shit, and didn’t they talk to each other in some strange language or via telepathy? Plus, what the fuck were they doing on set? I knew Alexi encouraged a friendly, family atmosphere, but bring your kids to work day was pushing it too far.
“Good of you to turn up,” I said as Phoebe caught me looking at her.
“I’m not late,” she snapped. “Our call for the reverse shots isn’t for another ten minutes.”
I chose to ignore the fact that she was correct. “Who are they?” I nodded at the matching pair of evil, suddenly wondering whether she was married with a brood of kids.
“My nephews. My sister had an appointment and her child minder has gone to Tenerife and Beth forgot, so I took the boys there this morning and ended up bringing them here because I didn’t want to worry my sister, so I was going to leave them in the dressing room but Pauline, who is an extra in the dinner party scene, said it might be dangerous to leave them alone whereas on set someone could keep an eye on them, so I checked with Alexi and he said it was okay as long as they didn’t make a noise, so I’ve warned them that they have to be quiet and -.”
“Okay, okay,” I cried, cutting her off. “Take a breath, otherwise we’ll need to get a doctor on set.”
She took a deep breath and looked down at the boys and lifting their hands one at a time said, “This is Callum and this Mackenzie – well, we all call him Mack.”
“Hey.” I gave them a short wave, noticing both were staring at me open-mouthed.
“You’re Addison Yates,” the one called Mack said, his tone laced with awe.
“Yep, I sure am.”
Looking at them both, I could see they were slightly different. Mack had darker hair than Callum and where Callum had dimples in his cheeks, Mack’s was in his chin. Maybe they weren’t so freaky after all.
“You jumped out of a plane without a parachute,” Callum added.
“I did,” I replied seeing no point in telling them it wasn’t actually me, but Bruce, our stuntman.
“Woah. You’re really cool, Dick.”
Phoebe squealed. “Callum!”
Callum looked up at her and frowned. “But he is.”
“Aaah you’re in trouble,” Mack said with mischievous grin. “Auntie Peepee said we weren’t to call him Dick. We are supposed to ask or call him Mr. James.”
“She said that it was okay, didn’t you Auntie Peepee?”
I looked up at Phoebe who was breathing rapidly and shaking her head, evidently having been ratted out by the little terrors. And Auntie Peepee? That was fucking hilarious.
“Auntie Peepee said my name was Dick, did she?”
I narrowed my eyes on Phoebe who was now a deep shade of red.
“Yep. She said you only let your friends call you Dick, but you might let us call you Addison or Mr. James. What can we call you?” Mack asked, giving a little shrug.
“I think Dick will be fine.” I kept my eyes on Phoebe as I answered the boy, loving the discomfort she was obviously feeling.
“I’m sorry,” she spluttered. “They misunderstood or misheard or something. I said they were to call you Mr. James. Didn’t I boys, didn’t I say you were to call him Mr. James, because that’s his name?”
She ground out the last few words, staring hard at the boys and silently begging them to save her ass.
They both nodded and Phoebe let out a breath.
“But you did say Dick Head was his secret name.”
And good old Mack threw her right back under the bus.
“MACK!”
“Well,” I said. “Only a few people call me that, but I think your Auntie Peepee calls me that all the time. Isn’t that right, Peepee? Usually Dick ‘Fat’ Head, I believe.”
“I’m so sorry,” she said in a strangulated voice, as though she was choking. “I didn’t say…I mean…I...your head isn’t really that fat, I was joking.”
“Ah, you’re both here,” Alexi gushed, appearing at the side of my chair. “Let’s get these reverse shots done and then you can go and get changed for the dinner party scene, Phoebe.”
Alexi didn’t tend to like to use the same extras in multiple scenes, but he did have a trusted few that were, and it looked like Phoebe was one of those bad pennies that would keep turning up.
Phoebe looked down at the boys and then back up at Alexi and nodded. “Okay.” She then stooped down to eye level of both boys, and gently pulled them in front of her. “Now, remember you have to be extra quiet as soon as Mr. Rodrigo says ‘action’, okay?”
Both of them nodded and gave her a grin. I had to admit they were pretty cute.
“You boys want to watch through a camera?” Alexi asked.
They looked at Phoebe, who nodded, and then turned back to Alexi and gave him their own grin.
“Be good,” Phoebe warned, checked her wig and walked off to her mark.
“See you later boys.”
I pushed up out of my chair to follow their aunt.
“Bye, Dick,” they chorused.
After doing the reverse shots of the office scene, I was dressed in a tux and moved on to the dinner party scene. In the scene, Addison is in some fancy ass restaurant eating with friends when the bad guys storm in and take his ‘love interest’ hostage during the melee, so as I talked with Alexi about the way he wanted the scene to go, I watched the extras get into place in my periphery. They were milling around, taking their spots, and getting last minute direction from Monique, the Second AD. It was then I spotted her, smack bang in the middle of them, wearing a tiny fucking sequinned dress – Auntie fucking Peepee, with the longest, toned legs I’d ever seen.
“Fuck me,” I growled under my breath.
“Something wrong?” Alexi asked, looking over his shoulder.
“No, nothing. Just remembered something I’ve forgotten to do.”
I tore my eyes away from Phoebe and gave Alexi a quick smile.
“Okay, let’s do this,” Alexi said and slapped me on the shoulder.
As he walked away I noticed the boys sitting on chairs, both wearing a huge pair of headphones each and watching everything that was going on. Mack spotted me first and gave me a thumbs up before nudging Callum and pointing toward me. Callum waved and I gave them a quick wave back, wondering why they made me smile so fucking big. I’d never spent much time with kids – didn’t have any friends who had them, had no siblings and so had no nieces or nephews, yet I instantly liked these two boys and wanted them to like me. I wondered whether my getting tight with them would mean Auntie Peepee would consider wrapping those amazing legs around my neck.
Woah – where the hell did that thought come from?
Concerned at the shit my brain was coming up with, I glanced over at Phoebe again. She was bending over talking to some guy with a beard, who was sitting at one of the dining table set ups. While Phoebe talked to him, the damn douche canoe’s eyes were firmly on her cleavage which, it had to be said, was as fucking spectacular as her legs.
Did that make me a douche canoe as well, for noticing her tits?
I suppose it did, but at least I was doing it on the sly. The bearded guy may as well have held a placard up that said, ‘I’m looking at Phoebe’s tits, bring me a towel for the drool’.
What a prick.
I seriously considered storming over and covering her with my jacket, when Alexi shouted for everyone to take their places. I was back to being Addison Yates and Phoebe’s tits and legs would have to wait.
The dinner party scene took hours to shoot. There was a lot of action in there, with hand to hand combat and some explosive special effects, so Alexi wanted it done perfectly. We’d choreographed the fight scenes weeks before, so they all went well, but when a table cloth was set on fire, it had got a little out of hand, pushing things back a while. While the set was redressed to a suitable starting point, I talked to Bruce, who was not only our stuntman but also our Stunt/Fight co-ordinator. I was checking he was happy it all looked realistic enough, yet the whole time, I had one eye on Phoebe.
Even though her nephews were watching her, she never lost concentration or let her eyes stray to them. She kept to her marks and did her job. Credit to the boys, they were quieter than I ever thought was possible from kids. There wasn’t one peep from them and when I looked over, they were watching with rapt attention at what was going on. The only time I heard a noise from them, was their screams of delight at lunch when they saw all the mini burgers and hot dogs that catering had provided. I’d eaten with Alexi and Francesca, who was playing my love interest, as Alexi wanted to discuss some of the location scenes in a couple of days’ time. The whole time though, I’d kept one eye on douche canoe, Phoebe, and the boys, wondering what they were talking and laughing about.
After lunch, we were straight back to it until finally, Alexi was happy. Even though it was only around four, we were all tired and smelling of smoke, and as the following day was going to be on location, he called an early end to the day’s filming. The extras were all herded off set and while I had my hidden Lavalier mic removed, which we use alongside the boom to pick up dialogue, my eyes were drawn to Phoebe, wanting to get one last look of her legs in the that dress.
Douche canoe had disappeared, thank fuck, but Phoebe was listening to the boys while they talked animatedly to her, both flinging their arms around and throwing their bodies from side to side. I had a feeling they’d enjoyed the fight scenes and would be re-enacting them for a few hours at least.
“There you go Mr. James,” Bailey, the assistant sound guy said, taking a step away from me with the mic in his hand. “You’re free to go.”
“Thanks, Bailey. See you tomorrow.” I gave him a quick head nod and stalked away, hoping to see Phoebe before she left.
Why?
I had no fucking clue.