7
The Girl
“Hurry up!” I yell at Ray through the bathroom door. “We don’t want to miss everyone’s lunch break.” We’re on our way out to that liquid lunch I promised Ray. He’s still desperate to meet a girl and I know just the place to go.
Ray’s been staying with me for a week now. He sleeps on the sofa now that I need my bed at night. I’ve readjusted my body clock back to daytime living, so we both need to sleep at the same time. He doesn’t seem to mind the sofa, though, and I like having him around, so it’s working out just fine for both of us.
He bursts out of the bathroom, wearing the black Calvin Klein shirt that my sister bought me for my birthday and a pair of my pale blue jeans. I can’t believe he came to London without even so much as a change of clothes and he’s told me he doesn’t have any money either, so he’s having to borrow my clothes. I haven’t even worn the shirt myself yet, since it’s a slim fit that my sister bought before I started piling on the pounds. It suits Ray but the jeans are clearly too big for him. He has one of my belts fastened up on the tightest notch to hold them up.
He gives me a twirl. “How do I look?”
“Untuck the shirt,” I tell him.
He does as I say and with the shirt hanging loose, it hides the baggy seat of his jeans.
“Better,” I tell him.
“Blake?
“Yes.”
“Why is there a supersized bottle of lube in your bathroom cabinet?”
I feel myself blanch. “It’s cheaper buying it that way.” I keep a small bottle of lube in my bedside cabinet and use the one from the bathroom to top it up. “Wouldn’t worry about it,” I sneer, “it’s going to be out of date before I get around to using it.”
“I’m only asking because there’s this gay couple on Bell End and it’s the first time I’d heard of lube. They use it for sex. Is that what you use it for?” He tries to make it sound like a perfectly innocent question, but I can tell by the amusement in his eyes that he’s just trying to get a rise out of me.
I huff. “I’m definitely going to have to take that remote off you. It’s teaching you far too much.”
He pouts. “Am I being too personal?”
“Always!” I snap. “Let’s go!”
After a half-hour Tube journey, we emerge amid the glittering skyscrapers of Canary Wharf. We head north, to where trendy bars and bistros line the walkways around the West India Docks. A place called Pimms & Panninis seems to be popular with the suits. It’s a glorious day and the patrons are spilling out onto the walkway, huddled in noisy groups, catching up on the office gossip. Inside the place is buzzing with plenty more suited talent to feast our eyes on—some standing at the bar, some lolling in the booths, and more still on the sofas up on the mezzanine level. We stand and observe for a couple of minutes and I can almost feel the excitement radiating off Ray.
I sigh. “I suppose it’s my round.”
“I must find some way of paying you back.”
I could think of plenty of ways! “What would you like?”
He points to the cute blonde standing at the bar on her own, sipping on a cocktail. “I’ll have what she’s having.”
“Do you even know what it is?”
“No, but it looks very pretty,” he coos.
“The girl or the drink?”
He chuckles.
I leave him to ponder my question while I go up to the bar, returning soon after with one cocktail and a Mexican beer for myself.
“It’s a Mai Tai,” I tell him, embarrassed to be seen holding the concoction, which has a straw, a flower head and a sprig of mint sticking out the top. I shove it in his hand.
He pulls one of the rye wheat straws to his lips and sucks on it.
I’ve never been jealous of a straw before, but I guess there’s a first time for everything.
He starts humming his appreciation as he sucks away and all I can think about is giving him something much more entertaining to wrap his lips around. I don’t know why I’m suddenly so horny around him. Maybe it was him finding my lube that’s turned me on, or maybe being out with Ray, as if we’re actually dating. Oh, how I wish Ray really was my date, instead of us only being here so we can fix him up with a member of the opposite sex.
“So, where do I start?” Ray asks, scanning the room. “Do I work my way around all the females until I find one that’s amenable.”
I huff. “Only if you like getting your face slapped. I thought you’d have worked out all the rules of engagement from watching Bell End. You can’t go around acting like you’re ready to hump anything that moves. You’ve got to make the girl feel special, like you selected her out of the crowd to be your one and only.”
He grunts. “So weird!”
“Well, let’s at least narrow it down to your type.”
“My type?
“Yeah, you know, the type of girl that catches your eye.” I point to a few. “Is it the blonde at the bar, the brunette over there, the tall girl in the corner?”
He shrugs. “I’m really not drawn to any particular female attribute.”
“Well, there’s got to be something you’re drawn to.”
“I liked Sophia. The female you work with.”
“And what was it about her that particularly attracted you?”
“She had a strong spirit. She stood up for herself. That’s what I like. I like spunk.”
I cough and splutter, almost choking on the mouthful of beer I was swallowing.
Ray kinks an eyebrow at me. “Are you okay?”
“Yes,” I croak, wiping dribbled beer off my chin.
“What about you, Blake? What do you look for in a mate?”
“Oh, I’m with you all the way,” I tell him. “I’ll take spunk any day of the week.”
“Does this mean we’re going to have to fight over Sophia?”
“You can forget Sophia. You’ve already played that card and lost.”
“But it would be so much simpler. You know her already. You could arrange it.” He gives me a questioning stare. “Are you deliberately complicating matters for me, friend Blake?”
“Now why would I do that?”
He shrugs. “Maybe you like complicated.”
I look him right in the eyes. “You have no idea how complicated I could make matters if I really wanted.”
“Whatever do you mean?” he asks in a sugary sweet voice.
I lean in closer. “I think you know exactly what I mean. You’re not so innocent as you make out, are you, friend Ray?”
He lifts the glass to his lips and takes another long suck on the straw, his eyes locked onto mine the whole time, messaging me with a thousand unspoken words that I’ve no idea how to decipher. Then he hands me the half-empty glass.
“I think this drink is going straight to my head.”
He tosses me a wink that twangs me right in the heart and then he swaggers over to the blonde at the bar. I hear him introduce himself and then I watch, dumbfounded, as he lifts her hand to his lips and plants a kiss on it. I almost die of embarrassment on his behalf. Clearly he’s been watching too many back-and-white movies. I’m going to have to hide the remote when we get back home. But damn me, his unorthodox approach seems to be having the desired effect. The girl giggles flirtatiously and he rewards her with a breathtaking smile.
I feel like a spare part, holding his drink for him while he engages in conversation that I can only catch the odd word of. He buys them both another cocktail with the money I gave him and then they nab a booth that’s just being vacated.
I shift my position so I can keep an eye on proceedings from a discreet distance. They sit, chatting and drinking, for maybe twenty minutes or more before she checks her phone. Then I see her sliding off the seat and out of the booth. He stands too and I watch as she grabs a pen from her bag and scribbles something on the back of his hand before leaving.
He skips back over to me, his face beaming, and I hand him his half-finished drink. “How did you get on?” I ask needlessly.
“I was very careful not to mention ejaculation or ovulation, just like you said. I think it went well. The only trouble is she wanted my phone number and I don’t have one.”
“You don’t have a mobile?” It occurs to me that I’ve never seen him with a phone. “Did you lose it or something?”
He shakes his head. “It’s okay. She wrote her number on the back of my hand. She said I can call her tonight, when she gets off work.”
“Boy, you’re a fast worker, aren’t you?”
“But where can I take her, Blake?”
“I guess there’s only one place I can afford for you to take her.”
“Where’s that?”
“My apartment.”
“Really? Are you sure?”
“I guess so. Don’t worry, I’ll make myself scarce, if you’re sure you’re actually going to go that far on your first date.”
“Oh, I’m sure. Her remarks were very suggestive and she kept stroking my thigh under the table.”
“Okay, Romeo. Do you need me to give you any pointers?”
“I think I’ll manage,” he replies coyly.
“Good! I’ve never actually been anywhere near that type of paraphernalia, so I don’t think I’d be a lot of help anyway. Just be aware this is a one-time-only offer. I’m not making a habit of letting you bring a girl back so you can screw her in my bed. I’m not that much of a friend.”
He takes my hand and gazes straight into my eyes, a look of utter sincerity on his face. “I think you’re the best friend a boy could ever have.”