Riley

Holding the base of his semi-hard cock, I dart my tongue out to circle its head. A sharp intake of breath followed by a drop of pre-cum intrigue me enough to pull back and study his length further. I’ve seen pictures of penises in my med classes, granted Gunner is huge physically, so his well-proportioned cock shouldn’t come as any surprise; it’s pretty intimidating to me all at once.

“It’ll fit, Sweetheart. It’ll fit everywhere I want to put it.” He says, reading my mind. The look he is giving me sets me on fire.

Leaving the pre-cum in place, I push his cock up towards his stomach a bit; then starting at the base, I slowly slide my tongue up its length. Making eye contact with him when I reach the end is one of the most empowering moments of my life. His eyes are half-mast and desperate with need.

I enclose the end of his cock with my lips while finally licking away his pre-cum with the tip of my tongue. Not breaking the seal of my lips, I start moving them up and down while simultaneously working my hand in the same rhythm.

Propped on my elbow, I reach my left hand down and gently massage his balls. So much of my saliva has pooled down there, I quickly distribute the moisture around and they steadily harden as I caress them.

Gunner’s hands had been tightly fisted in the blanket on either side of his body but now reach up to thread through my hair. Using them to hasten my speed, he starts a low keening sound followed by the word ‘Fuck’ over and over again. Pushing me back, “I’m gonna cum, Sweetheart, you don’t have to…”

He doesn’t get another word out before I plunge back onto his cock and renew sucking him, harder than before. With a final bellow, he blows in my mouth and I swallow every last drop. Tangy, like I’d heard; musky even, but nothing cringe-worthy like I half expected. I pull my mouth back but dart my tongue out to get the last squirt that comes out, causing Gunner to groan again.

Smiling like the Cheshire cat, I plant a kiss on either of his thighs then move up along his body. He secures me fiercely to his chest while stroking my hair.

“Sweetheart?” Gunner whispers as he turns into me, looking entirely too serious and overly innocent. “You’ll need lots of practice, but that was a good start.”

Giving him my harshest glare, I quickly reply. “Maybe I should find someone to practice on?” That’s barely out of my mouth before Gunner pins me to the bed; with the last rays of daylight coming in through the window next to us, I find myself staring into the face of a wild animal looking at his next meal.

“No. One. Else.” He growls, holding my arms above my head. “I know I sound like a goddamn psycho right now, but you’re mine. Just mine. Let me hear you say it.”

Stunned by the nearly feral look I see in his eyes, I squirm beneath him. As he releases my wrists, I quickly cup his cheeks. “We’ve been here before, Gunner. I knew I wanted you when we met and I know I want you now, but you can’t ask for that and not swear the same to me. I want all of you. From now on, I mean, just mine. You cheat on me and I’ll never let you touch me again.”

“We make this promise to each other, we make it now and I’ll claim you sooner than I planned. I…you…Sweetheart; you’re getting the shit end of this deal. You want to sleep on it?” His elbows are supporting his weight as he holds himself above me.

“I’m scared Gunner.” I had opened my mouth meaning to swear myself to him, but I am terrified of trusting my happiness to anyone. ”Are you sure about being with me?”

“Riley, I don’t want anyone else but you. I haven’t had a relationship in my adult life but from the time you looked up at me at the car wash, that’s been it for me, Sweetheart. I should have walked away from you but I’m a selfish bastard.

“My past will be thrown at you around the MC. I have fucked a lot of women I didn’t give a shit about. I have beaten and killed men. I live in the grey area of this world, and that will be cast on you too. But, I’m consumed by this connection I feel to you, if you need time to figure it out; I get that.” He pauses, lying back on his side next to me before whispering. “But I’m all in; I will be faithful to you.”

“I’m yours, Gunner. Just yours.” I say with certainty, curling back into him. “But I’m still scared.”

Gunner

I am being selfish, but that’s another flaw of mine she seems determined to overlook. I never cease to be surprised by Riley standing up to me or throwing my sarcasm back at me; it’s the absolute rage that surges through me when I think of her touching or being touched by another man that I can barely rectify with myself.

She’s right to be scared, I am too.

Enjoying the peace of holding her in my arms, I’m loathe to get outta bed; but nature calls. Coming out of the adjoined bathroom I’m disappointed that she’s no longer in bed. Looking around, I remember the bags left in the Explorer.

Heading back to the main room, I go to join Riley in the kitchen as she unpacks the groceries.

“Gunner, do you want dinner? Otherwise, I might throw together a snack.” She’s got to be kidding. I’m still full from breakfast. I know I’m staring at her with my jaw open, but I don’t know where she packs this food away.

“Sweetheart? Don’t get mad or anything, but you aren’t bulimic or something like that, are you?”

She turns away, starting to blush again; but says something about a fast metabolism. Closing the distance between us, I wrap my arms around her. “I’m fine for right now. Besides, I want to cook for you. I can do steak and asparagus on the grill, ok?”

“Won’t you freeze out there? We can just cook in here tonight…” I’m shaking my head at her.

“Nope, besides, I can get the hot tub started up while I’m out at the grill. You game for a dip after dinner?”

“I’ve never been in one, how can that possibly be fun in this weather?” Riley has her nose wrinkled up at the thought. I can’t believe she grew up in the mountains and has never been in a hot tub. “Besides, I don’t have a suit with me.”

“Now we’re definitely going in the hot tub! No suit needed, Sweetheart, just you and me up here.” I laugh at her shocked expression. The idea of skinny dipping seems to freak her out more than me spanking her; more than ever, I want her to get used to being naked when we’re alone together. I go to poke the fire that Hawk had going before we arrived.

As the fire starts to build up again, I turn to see that Riley has followed me out carrying two beers. She looks shyly at me as if waiting for a nod about drinking underage. I merely reach for mine, clinking it against her bottle. She doesn’t need my permission, and I rather she learns that on her own than looking for approval. Riley follows me as I move to sit on the sofa.

“Take your pants off, Sweetheart, I’ll keep you warm.” I stop her before she sits, holding her bottle out to me. She complies without hesitation, making me smile.

Pulling her onto my lap and I pull a blanket around us. She squirms around until she’s comfortable then smiles up at me.

“You know, except for the restaurants, every time I try to sit you pull me onto your lap!”

“I like you here, so get used to it,” I growl at her, but she laughs at me so I stop trying to hide my grin as I take a swallow of beer.

“It might even be more fun if your jeans were off also?” She throws at me, curling into my chest again and staring into the fire.

“Always want your way, don’t you?” As she looks momentarily hurt, I soften it with a kiss and change the subject. “So among the many things I don’t know, what foods don’t you like?”

The next hours are spent talking and snuggled together except for bathroom breaks and beer refills. She’s smart and reads a lot about world events; so while young, makes interesting points and even though we don’t agree on everything, I mirror her attitude of ‘even if I don’t agree with you on a subject, I’ll respect your right to your opinion’. And hell, at eighteen, she’s able to explain her reasoning behind her opinions in a way that I couldn’t at that age; while staying open to any counter-points I make.

In what seems like no time at all, I hear her stomach rumble and drop a kiss on her cheek before shifting her so I can get the food started. She sets the table while I prepare everything on the grill; making good on my promise to start up the heater on the hot tub. When I’m ready to sit down, I notice she has laid out some terry-cloth robes and has changed into one of the shirts from my bag. Brushing past her, I snake my hand under the bottom hem to confirm that she’s trying to hide her commando status beneath the size of my shirt.

“Hey!” She squeals up at me as I goose her. Moving to take her seat she pouts in my direction, “I’m starving. No playing till after I eat my body weight!”

I laugh along with her, pleased she doesn’t mind making fun of herself. “I’m not playing, Sweetheart. But I do want to know why you’re sitting so far from me?” I shift our plates over to the side of the table that has a farmhouse style bench. “I’d have thought you noticed I like you right up next to me.”

The meal starts off pretty quiet, she really is hungry again. “There’s something I was wondering about,” She’s majorly hesitant about whatever she wants to ask. “Um, I know that you guys transport drugs, but I was wondering if you, well, if you…”

Helping her out, I jump in with what I think she’s trying to ask. “I don’t. I used to smoke pot but not really since the Corps. It always made me a little sick. Nothing harder than liquor, you’ll see that I like to be in control. I’d be giving that up if I did.”

She’s noticeably relieved, but I carry on. “Some of the guys do, they can do whatever in their own time as long as it doesn’t interfere with MC business. Jas won’t allow anything stronger than weed at the clubhouse, so please don’t tell me you’re hiding a meth addiction?” I say, grinning over at her as I polish off my steak.

“Meth? Gunner, I’m rich, I’m into the good stuff!” Riley laughs, throwing a wink at me to show she’s back to being a smart ass.

“The good stuff? Did you just throw that out cause you weren’t sure what sounded expensive and hardcore?”

Nodding at me, she’s quick to give up trying to come across as a badass. “Pretty much.”

“Are you done, Sweetheart?” I can’t wait anymore. Getting a shy nod in reply, “Leave the plates and come on.” I lead her towards the door to the deck, scooping up the robes on the way. Moving quickly to the hot tub, I shuck my jeans and boxers and slide in. The night air hastens Riley forward when she looks like she’d rather drag her feet. Taking a deep breath, she slips my shirt over her head and follows me in the wonderfully hot water.

“Give it a minute, Sweetheart. Your head won’t feel cold at all.” Trying to pull her back up against my chest, she quickly slips my grasp and turns to straddle me. My cock jerks up between us and I can’t help but groan as I lean down to kiss her full lips.

Her reaction to me each time I kiss her is instantaneous and overwhelming. Riley gives herself up to me with each kiss, with each touch. No half measures, no pretending, no going through the motions like so many of the women I’ve been with. I feel so much hope, trust, and passion coming from her in our kiss that I break free from her. I pull her tight to my chest hoping she won’t question me. I have no answers for her now.

She’s giving me exactly what I want but I don’t deserve it, any of it, and certainly not from her.

I push her back as I stand and reach for our robes, “Come on, get inside. Why don’t you take the room we were in before? I’ll take the other one and can drive you back in the morning.” I toss over my shoulder as I’m getting out of the hot tub.

I have to walk away from her, she deserves more than me. I can’t be this much of a bastard, not when it comes to her.

Realizing she hasn’t moved, I turn towards her but don’t raise my eyes to her face; knowing I couldn’t stand to see her in pain. She turns her back to me, arms crossing to cover her chest.

“You’re a liar and coward.” She chokes out, choosing to remain in the hot water. At this moment, she is right and I’ve never felt so ashamed of myself.

Riley

I can’t move. I can barely breathe. In less than two days he promised me everything then changed his mind. About us.

I know he hasn’t moved from the doorway but I want him to. I want him gone so I don’t have to shame myself by showing him all of me again; of him seeing the horror of his rejection on my face.

“Riley,” He starts then pauses and I hear the rustle of the robe. “I’m not right for you. You deserve so much more than me. Please understand. This is me trying to do the best thing for you.” I can’t contain the sob that escapes me. I cover my mouth, mortified at exposing myself as weak.

Feeling his hands slide in to tug me out of the water, he murmurs; “Come on, you should come inside, Sweetheart.” Hearing the endearment from his lips, I lose it.

I spin towards him, kicking off with my foot against the seat, which in addition to his pull increases my momentum and before I can register anything he is flat on his back as I’m hitting him for all I’m worth. I don’t register the cold against my naked, wet skin nor the pain from hitting what must be an iron jaw; all I can feel is disappointment throughout my very soul.

It must take a moment for him to catch his breath from the fall but when he does, he wraps his arms tightly around me and though I fight to break free, I am powerless to move until he allows it. He loosens his grip and rolls to get his knees under him. His groan reaches my ears but doesn’t register as I start to realize I am freezing. He lifts me into his arms, moaning.

“Fuck. You do have a temper, Sweetheart. Don’t sell yourself short.”

“Don’t say that. Don’t call me that ever again.” I can’t stop the tears now that my anger has started to dissipate. “Cold. So cold.” Is all I can get out through my chattering teeth. “Please.”

Kicking the door closed behind us, Gunner carries me to the back bedroom for the second time today. Standing me long enough to pull back the covers, he settles me in the bed then lays half on top of me as he gathers the blankets around us. My breath is still shaky as warmth slowly creeps back into me. I hold myself stiff as a board while he caresses my hair. When he finally speaks, I can barely make out the words.

“I have done some truly fucked up things in my life, Riley. You deserve so much more than me.” He pauses and I refuse to say anything. “I meant every word I said to you; but how can I ever be right for you?”

“By trusting me enough to believe I know what’s right for me.” Sighing, I will myself to stay strong through my next thought. “You told me you’d never lie to me and that you were all in, did you mean it, even a little?” I ask, staring him down.

“Riley, Sweetheart?” He gives me his lopsided little grin as he slides in his endearment for me again. “In the hot tub, with you all up against me? The last time I felt that way, I was nineteen, halfway around the world, we were pinned down with bullets flying and guys dying.” He pauses again and then whispers, “I’m so fucking terrified of you. Of what I feel for you. I didn’t run then and I am so sorry I tried to run from you.”

I put my finger over his lips, “Did you just say ‘sorry’?” I ask, narrowing my eyes at him.

“Let me finish, Sweetheart.” He kisses my finger before continuing. “I know I’m asking for a lot of faith after what I just did. I shut down and started to run, I didn’t try to talk to you about what I felt. You did that much for me when you got upset at the hotel earlier. From now on, I’ll talk. I’m not used to it but I will try.”

I feel so vulnerable at this moment; I need to process his earlier reaction but don’t want to leave the comfort I find in his arms. Turning my back towards him, I simply say, “Let’s sleep on it.” And lie quietly beside his tense body. I work to calm my breathing and he eventually relaxes, folding his arms around me and nuzzling the back of my head. My mind is whirling but overstressed, I drift off mid-thought.