Chapter Eight

Chrissy

“The world can be a nasty place

You know it, I know it, yeah

We don’t have to fall from grace

Put down the weapons you fight with” - Selena Gomez

It’s been a week since everything happened with Sophia’s parents. Her mom died from the gunshot wound, and my supervisor hasn’t updated me on her father yet. Today I am having lunch with the rest of the girls from the club. Rock told me to call them the old ladies but I just can’t. I mean these guys couldn’t come up with a better name for us? My phone buzzes and I look down at it.

Megan: Hey, I’ve been sick all morning. I’m not going to make it, but you should still go. Start making yourself a part of the club.

I so want to cancel. I have seen the girls around and said a few words to them but I don’t know them. I was dreading this lunch before Megan cancelled on me, now it’s ten times worse.

Me: Just so you know, you suck.

I grab my purse and head out to my car. Pulling out of the lot my phone rings. I almost don’t answer it until I see my it’s my supervisor, Sharon. “Hey.”

“Chris, I just wanted to call you because there has been a sudden change in the Cane case.” Just hearing his name makes my stomach turn. “It seems there was a fight in the prison and Mr. Cane got in the middle of it. He was stabbed and passed away shortly after.”

I gasp.

Oh my God.

Rock set that up.

I know he said he would. I guess I just thought it wouldn’t really happen. I’ve just seen the power and reach of the club firsthand.

“Are you there?” she asks, her voice concerned.

“I am, sorry. So does that mean I don’t have any more obligations as far as the case?”

“Correct, you have already written the reports and filled out the forms, so now it’s over. Put this behind you and I’ll see you later.”

“Okay thanks, Sharon.” I hang up and as I pull into the lot of the restaurant I can’t make my body move.

He had him killed.

Not that I think the world won’t be a better place without him, but knowing that I was a direct cause of it is really screwing with my head. A knock on my window makes me jump so high I hit my head on the roof.

“You gonna sit out here like a zombie or you want to come have a couple drinks and some food?” I recognize her from the club. I think her name is Nikki and she is the Pres’s old lady.

I shut off the car and open the door. “Sorry my head is all over the place today.”

“All good, that’s me every day. I swear my kids sucked any brain cells I had out when I gave birth to them.” She shakes her head with a laugh.

“How many do you have?”

“Two and as much as T wants more, I don’t know that I can handle them. My son, Carter, is four and my daughter, Shaina, is almost two going on twenty-one. Carter stomps around the house like he is a carbon copy of his dad, even told me the other day his sister’s skirt was too short. Shaina is my mini-me, asshole attitude and all.

I look over at her not used to hearing moms talk so bluntly about their kids.

“Get used to it, if you can’t call your kid an asshole to your friends, then they aren’t your real friends. Wait until you and Rock start. They’re all cute when they’re little. Then they start walking and talking, and you’re screwed.”

I laugh as we walk into the restaurant. I see a table with some other girls from the club and Nikki walks me over. “Girls, this is Rock’s old lady Chrissy.” They offer me a wave and a few smiles. “This here is Izzy, she’s Pres’s sister and she’s with Lady. Tracy is our resident bitchy older sister and she’s with Torch. Lucy is our bleeding heart and she’s with Jordan. Last you have Jaz and she’s with Cutter.”

I sit down feeling a little overwhelmed and nervous since I suck at remembering names.

The waiter comes over and Tracy orders peach margaritas, salsa, guacamole, Mexican pizza, and quesadillas for the table without him even passing out menus. She looks over at me. “We come here a lot. There are only a few things that are good, but that shit’s amazing.”

“I’ll take your word for it.” The awkward silence sets in and this is exactly what I was afraid of.

“Okay, let’s get the elephant in the room over with. What the hell was up with you the night Pres announced you and Rock being together?” Tracy says and everyone’s eyes focus on me.

I sigh. “In my defense, he totally sprung that shit on me.”

“Yea, most of us were claimed before our guys even told us,” Nikki adds.

“And you guys were all okay with it?” I’m trying to get this life, I really am.

“We learned to be if we weren’t at first.” Nikki shrugs then looks to the other girls. “Lucy had been around the club for four years before Whip claimed her so she knew the life. Tracy and I grew up around it. Izzy knew what to expect too. Jaz had to adjust, but compared to where she came from our alpha-holes didn’t hold a candle.”

I laugh at the alpha-hole comment. “I guess for me I had spent so long determined not to even get into a relationship, then Rock happened. I went from a bunch of casual relationships, to being claimed, and having rules.”

Tracie looks over at me. “Well you need to catch up and quick. Shit like what happened at the party isn’t going to be allowed. You’re an old lady now, that’s a title of honor but it comes with a lot of responsibility. We are the backbone of this club. We hold it and our men together. You are his sounding board if he needs one but you have to swallow it if he doesn’t. It really fucking sucks sometimes but that’s just what it is.”

“The thing is,” Lucy interrupts, “it might seem crazy and it may be hard to get used to, but it’s worth it. These men, our men, they are the most loyal and amazing men I’ve ever known. You ever have any problem and any one of them will be there in a minute.” I think back to what happened with Mr. Cane.

“I’m going to try and work it out. I never imagined myself as a hold your tongue kind of girl.” I shrug hoping that Rock doesn’t expect me to change too much.

“Honey, most of us say shit we shouldn’t.” Nikki laughs. “The difference is that we know not to do it in public.”

I nod taking in their advice. This is something that I want and if I’ve noticed anything it’s that happiness doesn’t come easy.

I’m gonna have to work to fit in here.

***

Megan texted me and said she was feeling better if I wanted some company tonight. I grabbed a bottle of wine and ordered a pizza. When I open the door, she’s standing there with the food and a goofy looking smile on her face.

“Come in and tell me why you’re looking at me like the damn Cheshire cat.” We walk into the living and sit down on the couches. “You look good for someone who was so sick this morning.” I mock her with a sick voice.

“Yea, I guess that’s how morning sickness works.” She shrugs and my mouth drops open.

“Well, fuck. So much for the wine I picked up. Congratulations, I guess. Did you plan it?” I grab a piece of pizza needing to put something in my mouth so my sarcasm doesn’t come out.

“Not really, but I wasn’t on anything so we knew it would happen eventually.” She takes a slice and the room fills with silence. “Say something, you’re never this quiet.”

“I don’t know what to say. I’m glad you’re happy.” I try to put as much sincerity into that as possible. Her and Ryder just got back together a little while ago, I can’t believe they are already okay with kids.

“Don’t you ever think about having any?”

A laugh escapes my mouth before I can stop it. Megan scowls at me clearly not amused. “Sorry, some people want that kind of stuff, me not so much. I don’t see a baby and get all excited. Maybe my ovaries are dead or something but whenever I hold one I just want to give them back.” Megan looks shocked and I get how rude that probably seemed to a pregnant chick. “I’m sure I’ll like your kid, and want to hold it for more than a minute.”

“Gee thanks, Chris,” she says with a laugh. “Does Rock know about your un-motherly instincts?”

“No, Jesus. We just started dating. If he even mentioned kids there would be a me sized hole in that wall right now.” I get up grabbing a wineglass and filling it up. “You may not be able to drink but even discussing kids makes me need alcohol.”

Grabbing a napkin, she wipes her hands then crosses her legs and turns toward me. Shit, this is her ‘let’s have a serious talk’ position. A part of me just wants to down the glass of wine now. “So, what’s going on with you? I know you’ve accepted the claiming but I can see your holding back still. What is it?”

“I don’t know. I’m trying here. It’s not exactly easy to just step into this life and immediately know how to act.”

“Trust me, I know. I’m not talking about that though.” She gives me a sideways look as if I’m supposed to read her mind. “I mean the fact that you’re still not completely opening yourself up to him. Did you even tell him about the wedding you’re going to next weekend?”

I internally groan at the mention of my cousin’s wedding. My family is a bunch of stuck up snobs. My mom has never understood why I didn’t choose to do the ivy league thing and marry rich the way that she did. “No, and I swear if you do I’ll…well I won’t do much because you’re knocked up. I’ll be pissed though.”

“He might actually make it bearable.”

“No, he’d make me even more of a spectacle than I already am to my family.” I can hear my mother’s disapproving tone now.

“He’s gonna be pissed if he finds out. Where are you even going to say you are?”

“I have no idea, I’ll figure it out before then.”

She shoots me a look but doesn’t say anything else.

I need to figure out a way to get myself out of this.