Chapter Thirteen

Chrissy

“Just the thought of you around,

Gets my head spinning in circles

Just the way you say my name

Gets my heart turning in circles” - Jana Kramer

Waking up in my apartment with Rock feels so right. I look over at him sleeping and all the emotions swirling inside of me these past few days come bubbling up. I’ve been fighting my feelings for him because of the fear that he might hurt me.

My mom came up to me during the wedding spouting off about how he was disrespectful and how dare I choose him. How dare he say he loved me to her. That’s the part I haven’t been able to shake. He told her he loved me.

Did he do it to shut her up or to prove something?

Is it really the way he feels?

If it is then why hasn’t he said anything to me?

Probably because he’s scared I’ll bolt.

He makes me feel safe and cared for, like I’m enough without changing myself for him, and that’s something I’ve never had. It’s actually all I wanted when I was growing. Just someone to say that I was good enough. Not that I’d be great with this hair, or this dress. Just me, the way I was.

He sees that, and he said he loves me.

“Penny for your thoughts?” His one eye is open and watching me.

Crap, I’m caught.

Should I bring it up?

“Do you really love me?” Smooth Chris, maybe you could have worked your way up to it.

My question seems to take him off guard. “You asking hoping for a certain answer?” I gnaw on my lip as he makes me wait for the answer. “I do. As crazy as you make me, I fucking love you. Not the person they want you to be, not the person you think I need you to be. I love you for some reason.”

I’m frozen. I don’t know how to respond. He just said everything I’ve been wanting to hear. I know how I feel about him but I’m not sure how to put it into words. How to say everything so all these thoughts swirling make actual sense. “I never wanted this, at least I didn’t think I did. I always thought it was easier not getting attached because it meant never getting hurt. You’re the first person I’ve ever given the chance to hurt me and I hope you know how much that means.” I take a deep breath. “I haven’t said these words to someone in years, not even my parents because I’m not sure how much I would mean it, and I haven’t heard it from them since I was a kid. As much as the thought of you, the thought of this scares me, I’m in. I love you. I think a part of me has for a while. That’s why I pushed you away. I saw the way you were and I knew you could be someone who could change me.”

He pulls me close to him and gives me a kiss. “Been waiting for you to be in a place where I could say that shit to you.”

“I still don’t know how ready I was to hear it.” I laugh.

Rock leans over me pulling me close to him, then the sound of my ringing phone kills our mood.

I lean over checking it. “Crap, it’s work.” I sit up needing to disconnect from him so I can think straight. “Hello?”

“Chrissy, there is an incident at the Dean house and I need you to get there ASAP,” Sharon says and she seems as awake as me right now.

“Okay, no problem. I’ll head over there now and see what’s going on.” I hang up and get out of bed. “I need to go to one of my family’s houses. You gonna be here when I get back?”

“I’ll probably head down to the clubhouse and catch up on what I missed the past couple days. Since when do you work on a Sunday?”

“I don’t usually, but if there is an issue at the house we need to come as the social workers.” I pull on a shirt and search for a clean pair of dress pants.

“Want me to come?”

“No, sorry, you missed ‘take your biker to work’ day. Maybe next year.” His eyes narrow at me. “Don’t look at me like that, you know you love it. I’ll call you when I’m done.” Leaning down I give him a kiss before grabbing my things and heading out of the apartment.

***

Pulling up I see a police car sitting outside of the house.

Shit.

I walk up the steps and immediately see Amy at the door. “Miss Chrissy!” She opens the door for me and I see a nasty toking burn on her arm. I’m going to guess this is why I’m here.

Walking into the house I see Joe and the officers sitting on the couches in the living room. “Hi, Christina Evanson, I’m the Dean’s social worker. I shake the officers’ hands.

“It’s really nothing. I was just telling the officers that it was all an accident. I had been boiling pasta and when I was carrying the pot to the sink Amy ran across the kitchen and some of it spilled over the side of the pot and got her on the arm. I always tell them about running in the house.” Mr. Dean looks over at me and I feel like he’s telling the truth. I’ve never had any issue with this family and I was just about to move them to having their visits further apart because they’re always good whenever I come here.

“Apparently a neighbor saw the girl’s arm and when she told her that her daddy did it, she called us,” the officer relays to me and now I get it. Amy is little and probably didn’t think saying the whole situation was a big deal.

Normally it wouldn’t be.

“Okay, well, if you gentlemen want I can write up the report for this and forward it to you so you can file one.” Offering to do paperwork will always get you a friend in law enforcement.

“That would be great ma’am.” The officers get up giving me a quick nod and then leave.

“It really was an accident.” Joe stands up and gives Amy a hug.

“I believe that, I really do. We just need to be very careful right now. Too many accidents in a row can look like a pattern and we don’t want to go into that territory. I’ll write up a report for you.” I bend down in front of Amy. “And you little miss need to stop running in the house, especially the kitchen.”

“Okay, Miss Chrissy.” She gives me a hug.

I leave the house thankful that this was an accident and not some horrible incident that I had to walk in on. I’ve had those calls where you get to the house and you can smell the blood from the sidewalk. It’s terrible, what’s even worse are the kids stuck in those situations.