TEN
GWYNETH
Alyssa looked beautiful, pushing her sickness aside as she experienced something every sixteen-year-old girl should get the chance to experience … her first date.
I stood in the doorway and watched as they walked toward the elevator, knowing they would only be going as far as the cafeteria, and as I watched her smile up at the handsome young man smiling back at her, it struck me just how much was missing from my relationship with Mitchell.
He never smiled at me that way, and I certainly didn’t feel the kind of excitement Alyssa was feeling. I was missing something in my life, and it had never been so obvious before.
Excitement.
Desire.
Lust.
The feeling of a new relationship, and the nervous excitement that went along with it. For some reason, it had never been that way with Mitchell. We started dating, and everything else just sort of fell into place.
“Our little girl is growing up,” Teresa said at my side.
I nodded, feeling tears fill my eyes.
Tears for Alyssa and tears for myself, knowing what I too was missing out on with Mitchell.
“That she is.”
I stepped away, making my way toward the elevators once Alyssa and her date took their elevator. I passed the rooms of the kids I tried to see on a daily basis, feeling sadness in the halls that usually brought me great happiness.
My phone had been going nuts in my purse. Vibrating constantly, I knew my father was worried, but I’d call him back as soon as I got outside the hospital.
Lost in thought, I passed Christopher’s room. He was thirteen with a diagnosis of leukemia. He was the resident comedian, always making the nurses laugh with his flirty ways and witty jokes.
His laughter filled the hallway as I passed, and I smiled. It wasn’t until I heard a familiar deep voice coming out of the room as well that I paused.
The doorframe was cold in my palm as I looked inside his room, and when I did, there was Christopher and Rift, the guy from earlier, sitting on Christopher’s bed with their backs to the door.
They had no idea I was standing there, and while I should have announced my arrival, I didn’t. Instead, I listened.
“She’s really pretty. Like holy shit gorgeous,” Christopher said.
I rolled my eyes. I reprimanded him daily for his colorful language, but he never seemed to listen. At least, he kept it PG around the other kids.
Rift whistled. “That pretty, huh?”
Christopher nodded.
“In that case, you have to ignore her,” Rift said.
“What? I want her attention. Why would I ignore her?”
Rift chuckled, warming the room as the deep sound bounced off every cold surface of the hospital room.
“Beautiful girls get all the attention. It’s what they’re used to. If you want a gorgeous girl to notice you, be the only person in their life who ignores them. Trust me on this, kid. Ignore her and then when she starts to show you attention, don’t kiss her ass.”
“Really?” Christopher asked. I could see from his profile as he looked over and up at Rift that his mouth was wide open in shock.
Rift nodded. “Yep. Again, guys are always nice to pretty girls. So they’re accustomed to ass kissers. Don’t be that. Be different. She’ll eat it up. Then, once she sees she’s not winning you over with her looks, she’ll chase you.”
“Holy shit. Really?” Christopher asked, taking in every detail.
“Really,” Rift answered. “It’s human nature to enjoy a chase. Trust me. She will chase you, and when she does, let her. Don’t give in. Take your time and give her plenty of time to get to know you. After that, you’re in.”
Christopher looked away and put his head down.
“It won’t be that easy for me, though. I don’t let people know it bothers me, but what kind of girl is going to like a bald guy? I mean, look at me, man.” He held his arms out. “I used to be decent looking, but now …” He shook his head.
My heart dropped, and tears sprung to my eyes. Christopher was usually so confident. It was rare to see him down this way. He was in and out of Savannah Hope, but he wasn’t lying. His looks had changed quite a bit over the past year.
He had gone from a star youth football player with disheveled hair and winning dimples to a smaller guy. His bones visible on the outside, and his hair completely gone. Still, he could never know how handsome he was, sitting there hanging on to dreams of dating girls when his world was so bleak lately.
I was seconds away from stepping into the room to comfort him, but before I could, Rift spoke.
“Dude, chicks dig scars. Trust me on this. And you have some pretty badass scars.” He reached out and pointed at the surgical scar working its way up Christopher’s arm. “Listen to me. There’s nothing more noble than fighting to the death for your life, and even though you haven’t told me the details, I know you’ve fought one hell of a fight.”
I swallowed hard because he was right. Christopher had nearly died on several occasions.
“Plus, everyone is shaving their heads these days. Especially the kids around this city. Haven’t you seen them? She’ll think you did it on purpose. Also, you could rock the hell out of some kickass hats, dude. Girls love that shit. Pull the bill down over your eyes and give yourself that mysterious, too-good-to-look-her-in-the-eyes look. It’ll knock her to her knees.”
Christopher chuckled. “I’ll do it, but if it backfires, I’m blaming you.”
Rift laughed, his face lighting up and making the room feel light with joy. “Deal.”
I backed away from the door and pressed my spine to the wall just outside Christopher’s room.
What Rift had done with Christopher was beautiful and decent. It showed heart and sensitivity. I could never in a million years imagine Mitchell doing something so meaningful for a stranger—for a sick child. I couldn’t even get him to come to the hospital and meet the kids, much less hang out with them and give them advice.
Another thing that shook me was the way Rift looked at Christopher. Even the nurses around Savannah Hope sometimes looked at him with pity and sorrow in their eyes.
Not Rift.
He looked over all the bad and talked to him as if Christopher wasn’t bald and pale with sickness. He talked to him like he was just another kid at the park tossing a ball around with his friends. I appreciated that about him.
These kids needed much more than just medical help. They needed to feel well mentally as well. And nothing made them feel more that way than when people talked to them as if nothing was going on.
I swallowed hard, my emotions rising up the back of my throat.
The one time Mitchell had seen a picture of one of my kids, he hadn’t realized I was watching, and the look of disgust that moved over his expression when his eyes settled on the child pictured had made me hate him at that moment.
A child.
Who could ever look at a child that way?
Even worse, a sick kid?
Once again, I found myself comparing Mitchell to other men. It wasn’t a good sign. We were engaged to be married, which meant we were going to spend the rest of our lives together, but it seemed the more time that passed, the more I picked apart Mitchell and everything about him.
So far, I wasn’t thrilled with my findings.