TWENTY-FOUR
DYLAN
She didn’t know.
She didn’t know.
Please God say she didn’t know.
I repeated it over and over to myself, praying with each passing traffic light that it was true, and there was still time for Gwyn to hear the truth from me.
I was nearing Gwyn’s apartment when my phone went off. I held my phone, but my eyes scanned the text, killing all the hope I had inside me.
Mitchell: Gwyn knows everything. She might not be mine right now, but at least I know she’ll never be yours. You’re walking away without the money or the girl. Bad business call, heartbreaker.
“Fuck!” I roared, slamming my fist into the steering wheel.
I could have killed Mitchell. I wanted to, but I knew this was all my fault. I should have come clean before I slept with Gwyn, but I wanted one night with her, and now that night would cost me my future.
After getting the text from Mitchell, everything was a blur. I didn’t remember parking, the elevator ride up to her floor, or even knocking on her door. The only thing that finally registered was the look on her face when she finally opened the door.
“Gwyn …” I breathed; no matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t get enough air.
“Is it true, Rift?”
Her voice was unrecognizable, and the use of that name was like a blow to the stomach.
“I’m sure by the way you almost broke my door down that Mitchell already contacted you.”
Her eyes filled with tears before she blinked them away. It was killing me, knowing she was hurting, and what made it worse was I would have to come clean and hurt her even worse. It was the only way we could move on and be together without any lies between us.
“Gwyn, please,” I begged. “Just let me explain.”
“It is true?” she demanded, her voice hard.
Her shoulders were tense, her spine straight, and the look on her face told me she wasn’t fucking around. It was either answer her question, or she would slam the door in my face.
“Yes.” The word ripped through my throat, making me feel like I was choking on my own blood.
“Oh God,” she cried, grabbing at her stomach.
Her tense frame crumpled as if the truth had shot her through the chest.
“Please, let me explain.” I moved to step into her apartment.
She went to slam the door in my face, but I gripped the edge of it, holding strong, while shoving my foot through the small opening.
“Gwyn, let me in. Please, let me explain.”
She laughed a bit, but there was no happiness in the sound. It was as if she was only laughing to keep herself from crying. Again, the pain in my heart swelled.
“Explain what? How you were paid to fuck me?”
Her question made my stomach dip, and I knew those were Mitchell’s words, not hers. The Gwyn in front of me wasn’t my Gwyn anymore.
“Yes,” I answered truthfully. There was a slight give in the struggle between me and the door, and I knew my answer had caught her off guard.
I used her momentary distraction to continue. “Mitchell paid me to get you into bed so he could catch us and be free of your engagement.”
“Why? Why would you do something like this? How can you…” Her voice trailed off, but I heard the tears she was so desperately trying to hold back.
“Please let me in, Gwyn. I swear to you I’ll explain everything.”
Her hand was still gripping the edge of the door, and I moved my hand up to cover hers, but the second my fingers touched hers, she snatched her hand back, and the entire door gave way.
She moved across the room, putting as much space between the two of us as she could, and I didn’t blame her for one minute. If I could find a way to escape myself and be a different man, a man who deserved Gwyn, I would in a heartbeat.
I knew once I walked out of her apartment, I would be walking out of Gwyn’s life forever. There was no coming back from what I’d done, and I always knew this with my job. You couldn’t find something redeemable in a man who was basically heartbreak for hire.
“I’ll tell you anything you want to know, Gwyn. Anything.”
“Five minutes, Rift. You answer my questions, and then you’re gone.”
Again, I flinched at the nickname she now used against me. If I never heard it from her mouth again, it would be too soon.
“Okay. What do you want to know?”
“Were you ever planning to tell me the truth?”
“Yes.”
“When?”
“I was going to tell you today before we met with Mitchell, but you were gone when I woke up. I wanted you to hear it from me. I should’ve told you last night, and I planned to, but when I saw you, I was too scared for it to be over. I just wanted one night.”
“To fuck me?”
“Stop saying it like that.” My voice hardened a bit, but I couldn’t control it.
She wrapped her arms around her middle, and her teeth sank into her lower lip. I could see she was holding everything back so she wouldn’t fall apart in front of me.
“It started out that way, but it changed. You did something to me, Gwyn. I haven’t felt this way about anyone in a long time. Actually, I don’t think I’ve ever felt this way about anyone.”
“Is that supposed to change anything? Am I supposed to swoon over your confession of … what? Love?”
“I don’t expect you to feel anything for me, but what you’re feeling now. Hatred. But yes, I love you, Gwyn. I’m so fucking in love with you that it’s killing me right now to know I ruined it all.”
“Don’t. Don’t you fucking dare try to make me feel sorry for you.” She stabbed a finger in the air in my direction.
“I’m not, Gwyn. I swear that’s not my intention. I’m just trying to be honest with you.”
“Now you want to be honest with me? Where was your honesty before you fucked me?”
“It wasn’t like that.”
“Oh, really? Then what was it like? Just another day on the job? Another victim stupid enough to fall for you?”
My heart skipped a beat at her words.
Had she just admitted she was in love with me?
I moved closer, prompting her to take a step back.
“Last night was different. Us sleeping together had nothing to do with my arrangement with Mitchell. It hasn’t for a long time now.”
“How long?” She folded her arms over her chest.
“What?”
“At what point did things change for you?”
“Gwyn …”
“What? I want to know.”
I sighed, swallowing the choking sensation clawing up the back of my throat.
“It was the night of the gala. After I kissed you and let you walk away from me, I decided one kiss with you would never be enough. I followed you up to your apartment. I planned on … hell, I don’t know what I was planning to do, but Mitchell opened the door.”
“Oh, God.” Her face flamed, and she covered her mouth with her palm. “That night, I … did he tell you what he caught me doing?”
I knew exactly what she was asking about, and I could have lied and said no, but I was done lying. “Yes. He told me you were touching yourself, and I knew you were doing that because of me. Because you wanted me as much as I wanted you.”
Her head fell back, and her fingers brushed her chin. “Of course, he did. I’m sure you guys laughed it up real good over that one.”
“No!” I took a step toward her, and her head snapped forward, her hand shooting out.
“Don’t.”
“I know what I did was fucked up, Gwyn, but everything I said to you that night, everything I’ve said since, it’s all been true. Knowing you wanted me just as much as I wanted you.”
“How much was I worth?” Her sudden question took me off guard, and I fell back a step.
“What?”
“How much. Was. I. Worth?” She shouted each word one by one. Her eyes filled with tears yet again, and again, she blinked them away.
“Gwyn, please …”
“Answer the question.”
“I don’t think it matters now that …”
“Answer the question, Dylan!” she screamed, finally allowing a tear to rush down her cheek.
My heart fell with that tear, crashing to the floor and splitting into nothing.
“Five hundred thousand. But I don’t care about the money.”
Her mouth opened in shock.
“Mitchell doesn’t have that kind of money just lying around, but …”
She stopped, shaking her head in disbelief.
“But what?”
She chuckled, the sound thick with sarcasm. “But I do. My father does. He bought you with my money. I was basically paying you to fuck me. Well”—she scoffed—“you guys sure fooled me, didn’t you?”
“No. I don’t care about the money. I told him when he came to see me that I didn’t want the money. I only want you.”
“When he came to see you?”
Fuck, I should have just kept my mouth shut. “He came to see me yesterday.”
Her face paled, and she looked like she was going to be sick, pressing her hand to her stomach. “While I was there?”
“You were in the shower.”
“Get out of my apartment. Get out now or I’m calling the police.”
“Gwyn, I understand I fucked this up, but you have to believe me when I tell you that I love you. It’s killing me inside knowing I hurt you.”
“Good. I hope it kills you for the rest of your life. I don’t know you, and I never did. Please leave.”
I wanted to beg her to forgive me, but I knew it was useless. The pain in her eyes, it was like taking a bullet to the heart. I wanted the relief death would cause, but I didn’t deserve it. I didn’t deserve anything but the hell I would suffer for the rest of my life.
So I did as she asked, backing away from her. “I’m so sorry, Gwyn.”
She swiped at the tears running down her cheeks without responding. I started to turn and leave when her cell rang, breaking the thick silence between us and echoing throughout the apartment.
She jumped, then snatched her phone from the table at her side, swiping it, and putting it to her ear.
“Hello?” she answered. “Yes, this is her.”
There was a brief silence on Gwyn’s part as she listened to the person on the other end, and then her face paled and she looked like she was going to be sick. I rushed to her side, but she held her hand out, stopping me.
“Yes, I understand.” Her voice sounded robotic and void of any emotion. “I’m on my way. Thank you.” She hung up the phone, clutching it to her chest.
“What’s wrong, Gwyn?” I whispered, afraid if I spoke too loudly she would shatter because that was exactly how she looked.
At the sound of my voice, she blinked a few times and then looked at me. I could see the ripple of breaks moving through her expression as she struggled to contain everything threatening to break free. “You need to leave. Now.”
“Who was on the phone?”
“I can’t do this with you right now. Leave.”
“Not until you tell me what’s wrong. Who was that on the phone?”
“I said to get out!” She charged me. “Get out of my apartment now!” She pushed against my chest, and I fell back half a step, letting her take her pain and anguish out on me as she finally broke.
I pulled her to me, and she didn’t resist. Instead, she sobbed into my shirt, hitting my chest over and over again. I knew whoever had called had told her something devastating, and with Gwyn, that could only mean one thing.
“Gwyn.” I captured her wrists and pulled her close. “Is your father okay?”
“Oh, God,” she moaned, and there was no more fight left in her.
I pulled her into my arms, and her broken sobs were hard against my chest. Her tears soaked my shirt, and I was helpless to do anything but hold her.
We stood like that for five minutes until her crying subsided to nothing but broken breaths.
“Let me drive you, Gwyn.” My words snapped her out of the daze she had fallen into, and she pulled away from me.
“No,” she said firmly.
“You can’t drive yourself in this condition.”
“I’m not. A car is being sent for me. I want you to leave now.”
“Gwyn …”
“Please,” she begged, and her voice broke. “I don’t have the strength to fight you right now, Dylan. Please, just leave.”
I’d already caused her so much pain already, and I had no idea how bad things were with her dad. I wanted to be there for her. I wanted to hold her hand and hug her close, but all she needed from me right at that moment was not to see my face. She needed to deal with whatever was going on with her father, and she needed to do it without the reminder of the heartbreak I had just handed her.
So I left her apartment and shut the door softly behind me. And I knew as I walked away from her that from that moment on, I was truly going to be the heartless asshole I always claimed I was. Because I left any heart I had in Gwyn’s apartment with her.