TWENTY-SEVEN
GWYNETH
SIX MONTHS LATER
Stepping foot inside the hospital where my father died was so much harder than I expected it would be after six months. It took my breath away, and all I could do was stand there while I waited for the pain to subside.
Everyone kept saying it would get easier, and I just had to give it time. But with the amount of pain and heartache I was experiencing, I didn’t think it would ever get easier.
I made my way to the pediatric wing, my eyes moving over the familiar pictures of the hospital, and when I passed through the doors and my eyes landed on the black and white checkered floor, a sense of peace moved over me.
Up until my father’s death, the hospital had been my home. The place I worked. The placed I visited my friends. The place where I found peace in the arms and eyes of the children there. I hated that so much time had passed since my last visit.
My life in the recent weeks had taken a drastic turn, and my job on the hospital board had taken a back seat to my new role as owner of Petrova Technologies. It wasn’t more than a few days after my father’s passing that I was sworn in. I took over my father’s position immediately, and my first task was transferring Mitchell as far away from me as possible.
Of course, I wanted to fire the bastard, especially after everything he pulled at my father’s funeral, but the team of lawyers who worked for me advised against it because he would most likely throw a lawsuit at us. I didn’t want my first day in my father’s seat to result in a court order.
It took me months to balance everything life had thrown my way, and now that I was finally feeling like myself again, the kids were my first stop.
I stopped at the nurses’ station to let them know I was there, but no one was behind the desk. The double doors at the end of the corridor opened, and I leaned away from the desk to look down it.
My heart lunged into my throat when I saw him walking down the hallway holding the hand of little Ashley Nolan. His head lifted, his smile nearly knocking me breathless, and I moved out of sight before he had a chance to see me. Gripping the edge of the desk, I tried to catch my breath as heat seeped into my cheeks.
I hadn’t seen Dylan since the funeral, but I’d thought about him at least a million times at any given second. He had permanently planted a piece of himself inside me, and there was no way I was escaping him.
“Gwyn!”
I jumped when Gloria, one of the day nurses, appeared out of nowhere. She rushed around the desk, wrapping her small arms around me. She was a short, petite woman, barely coming up to my chest.
“Oh, we’ve missed you so much. How is everything, dear?”
I smiled, my face feeling stiff from lack of smiling, and without answering her question, I said, “I’ve missed you guys, too. Everyone is okay?”
Her smile faltered a little, and her eyes shifted before finding a spot just beyond my shoulder.
“What is it, Gloria?”
“Oh, dear, I didn’t want to have to bring it up, but you’re going to know soon enough. Rebecca … she took a turn for the worse, and her parents opted to take her home with hospice.”
“I should have been here.”
“Don’t do that, Gwyn. You’ve done more for these kids than most people. They all understood. Did you get the letters?
I smiled again, my face accommodating better this time. “I did. They were so beautiful and thoughtful. I read them every day.”
A month after my father died, I’d received a package filled with homemade cookies and other goodies from the nurses and more than a dozen handwritten or colored cards from the kids. Most days, when I was too exhausted or too sad to get out of bed, they gave me a reason.
“You’ve been dealing with a lot, too, Gwyn.” She touched my arm. My face must have given away my thoughts. “Are you taking care of yourself?” Her eyes wavered but only slightly.
“I am. Well, I’m trying to anyway. It’s been hard, but I’m doing the best I can.”
I looked toward the corridor, and my curiosity finally got the best of me.
“Gloria, what is Dylan doing here?”
“Oh, he comes three times a week. Just like clockwork.”
“For how long?”
“About six months. Ever since—”
“I stopped coming.”
“Yes. I believe it was around the same time.”
I nodded.
No one knew what happened between Dylan and me, and I wanted to keep it that way. Quickly, I changed the subject.
“I’m excited to see them all. Is today a good day?”
“It’s perfect. Do you want to go back now?”
Again, I looked toward the double doors. I wanted to, but there was no way I could risk bumping into Dylan.
“I have to go take care of some paperwork for my father, and then I’ll be back. Is that okay?”
I hated lying, but I didn’t see any other way out.
“Of course, hon, they’ll be so excited to see you.”
I made a beeline for the elevator. I would wait Dylan out, and then I would go back. But fate had other plans for me, and as the first set of double doors opened, I heard my name being called from behind me.
“Gwyn? Gwyn, wait up!”
Fear kept my feet moving in the direction of my escape, but I knew there was a good possibility I wasn’t going to get there alone.
I reached the elevator, hitting the button until the doors opened. I held my stomach; I could feel the nausea rising as I waited, knowing Dylan was only seconds away from catching me.
When they finally opened, I slipped inside, hitting the close button repeatedly. They slid closed slowly, and I felt relief until I saw his hand curl around the edge of the door, stopping it from closing.
I flattened against the side of the wall, pulling my sweater tighter around my body. I could already feel myself falling apart on the inside, and the last thing I wanted to do was come undone in front of Dylan. Stepping into the elevator, he managed to fill the entire space with his presence.
The doors closed behind him as he bent with his hands on his knees as he caught his breath. Finally, he stood tall, and his eyes connected with mine.
“Hey,” he said, a sad grin forming on his lips.
“Hey.”
“I was hoping you’d show your face around here again.”
I frowned. “Is that the only reason you come to see the kids?”
He chuckled. “Oh, God no. These kids keep me sane.”
I listened as he told me stories of the kids … my kids. He told me about how Christopher was doing, and how he had shocked the nurses with his stash of Playboy magazines. He told me about Alyssa and how she was sent home and recovering well.
Tears rushed to my eyes as I began feeling a sense of happiness I hadn’t felt in a while. Knowing everyone was doing okay and the world had kept spinning somehow shed some light on my dark situation.
“That’s really great, Dylan. I’m glad to see you taking an interest in the kids. They really are something special.”
He nodded. “Agreed.”
The elevator doors opened, and he reached out and pressed another button, making the doors close.
The small area grew heavier, and again, I adjusted my sweater around my body.
“How have you been?” he asked.
There was so much I wanted to say. So many things I wanted to tell him, but instead, I just smiled, the action making my cheeks burn as I said, “I’m great. Everything’s great.”
It was a lie.
I wasn’t great.
I was having a hard time adjusting to my new life.
I was lonely.
I was sad.
And …
Just as I answered, the elevator slammed to a stop, sending me flying across the elevator and into his arms. He wrapped his arms around me to keep me from falling over, and when he did, my body pressed against his.
His eyes went wide, and he pulled away, tugging my sweater open and looking at my large stomach. His head snapped up, his eyes clashing with mine.
“Gwyn?”
Confusion pulled at his brows, and his eyes watered.
“I know I should’ve told you, but I didn’t know how.”
I rubbed my large stomach, feeling my little sprout kick me as my heart sped up.
Again, his eyes moved over my stomach, his hand going up to cover his mouth.
“Is it …? I mean … am I ...?” he stuttered, obviously shocked.
“You’re the father.”
He fell to his knees in front of me, his arms going around my hips as he buried his face in my stomach. He shook with his tears, and even though I wasn’t sure where we stood, I couldn’t find it in myself to push him away.
It felt too right.
Too perfect in his arms.
“I’m so sorry, Gwyn,” he said against my shirt.
I cupped his cheek when he looked up at me, and the sad look in his eyes almost did me in. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you sooner.”
I did feel bad that he didn’t know, but it wasn’t like I knew how to tell him or if I even wanted to tell him. I was a mess of mixed up emotions and hormones, and with everything going on, I just kept putting it off and putting it off.
“I’m serious, Gwyn. Do you think you could ever forgive me? I mean truly forgive me?”
“I don’t know, Dylan. It’s still so fresh. Every time I think about what you did …”
“You’re having my baby, Gwyn. Don’t you think it’s worth trying?”
“I wish …” I covered my face, groaning out loud.
“What? You wish what?”
“I wish we’d met a different way. A different time.” I sighed. “I wish so many things.”
He stood and lifted his hand, hesitating to see if I would pull away, and when I didn’t, he covered my cheek with his large warm hand. His thumb brushed the corner of my mouth before he leaned in and sweetly kissed me on the forehead
My eyes slid closed at his touch, and then his forehead was pressed against mine.
“Me too, Gwyn. I wish so many things.”
A few seconds passed, and once again, the elevator doors opened and closed. I stepped out of his hold and pressed the button for the first floor.
Again, he pulled me into his arms and held me close.
“I have to go, Dylan.” I gripped his arms and told myself to push him away, but I didn’t.
He nodded, dropping his hands and then taking a step back. I felt dizzy, and I gripped the railing behind me to keep myself upright.
“I promise we’ll figure this out, but I just need a little more time.”
He nodded, accepting my terms, and when the elevator doors opened yet again, I walked out feeling more confused and sad than I did before.
Two Weeks Later…
I sat in my favorite coffee shop, sniffing the coffee smell in the air and pretending like I didn’t miss the taste in the least. I came here whenever I was craving caffeine and needed a fix to end my suffering, and today had been a much-needed fix.
I turned the page of my book, What to Expect When You’re Expecting, and tried to pay attention to the words on the page. It was no use; my mind was a million miles away. Resting my elbow on the table, I rested my chin on my hand and watched the people outside the window.
Couples were everywhere. It was like it was national couple’s day, and everyone had gotten the memo.
Except me.
If I had, I would have kept my pregnant butt home. My hormones were jacked up and getting crazier by the second. I tried to rein them in when I saw the couple walking across the street. The man’s arm was around his pregnant significant other, and they were carrying a bag from one of the baby shops.
I envied their ability to be together. I bet he wasn’t paid to sleep with her and knock her up.
“Excuse me, miss, is this chair taken?”
I jumped at the sound of his voice, my cheeks warming at being caught lost in my thoughts.
“No. Go ahead …” My voice trailed as I saw him standing in front of it.
“Perfect. Do you mind if I sit here with you?”
He didn’t wait for me to respond as he sat down across from me. I looked around; the place was almost empty.
“What are you doing?”
“Oh, I’m sorry. My name is Dylan. Dylan Russell. And you are?” He put his hand out in front of me.
I had no idea what he was doing, but I played along and placed my hand in his.
“Gwyneth Petrova, but you can call me Gwyn.”
“Gwyn.” He sighed, and my name felt like a caress. “That’s a beautiful name for a very beautiful woman.”
I tilted my head to the side. “Are you flirting with me?”
“And if I am?”
“I should probably tell you I’m pregnant.”
“Pregnant women are hot.”
I pressed my lips together to keep from smiling. “You don’t mind that I’m carrying another man’s baby?”
“Are you in love with this other man?”
“I think so, but he did something pretty horrible.”
“Then just forget about him.”
“I wish I could.”
“I bet he loves you. He’d be stupid not to.”
“He’s proven to be just that.”
He grinned, both dimples making an appearance. “Forget him. Let me take you out. We can start over.”
I didn’t respond, and Dylan stood, pulling me from my chair and up against him. The swell of where the baby Dylan and I had created pressed into his stomach, but neither of us seemed to mind. He cupped my face, his eyes destroying every ounce of fight I had left in me with one look.
“Let’s start over, Gwyn. I love you so much. I can’t live without you, without our baby.” As if the baby knew Dylan was talking about him or her, the baby kicked. “Holy shit, was that …?”
I nodded, tears blurring my vision. “The baby likes the sound of your voice.”
Dylan’s eyes dropped to my stomach, and he leaned over, placing his palm flat against my belly. “Hi, baby. I’m your daddy,” he whispered, and the baby kicked again.
Dylan lifted, and before I could blink, his lips were on mine, and he was kissing me with everything he had. Months of being apart went into that kiss. Everything he wanted to say but couldn’t find the words to went into that kiss. Every ounce of regret and remorse, pain and loss, went into that kiss, and I accepted it all and gave it right back.
“That’s amazing.” He breathed against my mouth when he pulled away. “We made that. You and me, Gwyn.”
“Dylan …”
“Do you love me? Because if even a small part of you still loves me, we can do this. But if you don’t, I swear I’ll walk out of here and I won’t do this to you again. Do you love me, Gwyn?”
I bit my lip, staring into his blue eyes that were begging for me to still be in love with him. The baby kicked again, and in that instant, I knew.
I was so in love with Dylan Russell, and it wasn’t going away no matter how much distance I put between us.
“Yes,” I whispered. “I love you.”
He smiled, his face lighting up the entire room.
“Then let’s do this.”
I laughed.
“Let’s do what?” I asked.
“This,” he said, motioning between us. “Let’s be together. Let’s be a family. Let’s raise this baby and give he or she all the love in the world. Sound good?”
I nodded, feeling lighter than I had in months. And when he leaned in and kissed me again, it was a kiss of a new beginning.