All these women who say they feel beautiful being pregnant are full of shit!” I huff, trying to catch my breath from walking around the mall. It’s New Year’s Eve, one day before my due date, and I’m beyond ready for this baby to arrive. I am well above the twenty-five to thirty pounds they recommend you gain - more like forty-five pounds on my 5’5 frame. I haven’t had a good night’s sleep in seven months and everything aches. I feel like I have been completely lied to when it comes to pregnancy. Everyone paints this picture that all things are glorious after the first trimester. LIES!

No one tells you about round ligament pain.

No one tells you about the constant pressure on your bladder.

No one tells you about the back pain.

No one tells you about the hemorrhoids.

No one tells you about the acne.

No one tells you about the wet dreams being so vivid, you wake up screaming your orgasm.

Okay, so this may not be a bad thing.

Is every woman different when it comes to their pregnancy symptoms? Of course. Am I being overdramatic? Yes. But by the time I reached the seven-month mark, I was over being pregnant. I didn’t even start to look pregnant until I was six months, the infamous round belly just showing up one day and completely freaking me out. I didn’t care if people thought I was gaining weight, but looking pregnant was different. I didn’t want anyone out of my tight knit circle to know I was having a child out of wedlock. I stayed inside most of the time and hired extra event coordinators to be on-site managers for our booked parties since Robert couldn’t be at every party by himself. I hid behind the decor tables during our news segments to hide my belly. Fortunately, the producer was understanding with my wanting to keep my pregnancy private. During the day, I act confident about my impending motherhood, but alone in bed at night, I feel anything but. While I should have wanted to be the poster child for successful women doing it all on their own, I felt more like Hester Prynne with the scarlet “A” on my chest. My mother’s reaction to my pregnancy didn’t help my confidence in my ability either.

I went to my parent’s house for dinner one Sunday evening during my fourth month of pregnancy. Despite my best efforts, she couldn’t help but notice my weight gain and wouldn’t stop her incessant chatter about how concerned she was and that something could be wrong with me, blah blah blah. So, I decided right then and there to shut her up and put myself out of my emotional misery of telling them.

“Something is wrong with me, Mother. I am pregnant.” I gulp down my water as silence fills the room and both of them stare at me.

“Oh Jenna, why do you have to make a joke out of everything? This is not funny.” She continues to cut her steak while my father puts his fork and knife down, crosses his arms against his chest and continues looking at me. Our bond together is so tight that I know he can sense I am telling the truth.

“I’m not joking, Mother. I am eighteen weeks pregnant. The baby is due on New Year’s Day.”

My mother’s mouth drops open and she goes back and forth from looking at me to my father, waiting for someone to say something. My father presses his mouth into a thin line and looks down at his plate to avoid showing the disappointment that has now entered his eyes.

“Who is the father, Jenna?” he asks quietly while fiddling with his wineglass.

“The father wants nothing to do with the baby, so I will be raising my child by myself.” I place my napkin on the table and stand, deciding it is time to leave.

My father’s head shoots up. “The hell you will, Jenna! That man needs to take responsibility and at least pay child support.” He bangs his hand against the table, jostling the silverware and wine glasses, his eyes darkening from anger.

“I want nothing to do with him, Dad.” I smile sadly as my father closes his eyes and balls his hands into fists.

“How could you, Jenna! How could you do this?” My mother shrieks as tears stream down her face.

“Oh, that’s right, Mother, because I purposely put holes in the condom we used so I could ruin YOUR reputation.” My voice laced with heavy sarcasm as I push my seat in. “So sorry for continuing to be a disappointment to you.”

“Watch your tone, young lady!” My father glares at me while my mother gets up and moves behind his chair, placing her hands on his shoulders.

“Don’t worry, Mother, my little secret will stay safe with me. I don’t need anyone’s help! Feel free to keep your distance so your reputations will stay intact.” I turn to leave and walk to the front entrance, slamming the door shut on their pleas to come back.

The following day, my father showed up alone on my doorstep, telling me he would never abandon me and that everything is going to be alright. My mother seems to need a little more time as I have not heard from her since.

True to their word, Layla and Robert have been there for me every day of this pregnancy. They came to my twenty-week doctor’s appointment and were enthralled by being able to see the baby via ultrasound. They convinced me to not find out the gender so that it would be a surprise. I can’t stand surprises and the suspense has been a constant fight among the three of us due to my desire to want to decorate the nursery. They planned a getaway trip when I was twenty-eight weeks pregnant to Fort Lauderdale for the three of us since I refused a baby shower and have made sure I have not had one stressful workday. They even came to all of my baby classes with me, which were hilarious because of Robert’s horrified expressions at watching the birthing video. Their enthusiasm for this baby has helped lessen my doubts about doing this all by myself.

So here I am, ready to have this baby and trying every old wives’ tale to see if I can make it come early. The idea of this baby coming after its due date makes me want to cry, so I try to walk faster but waddling like a penguin as I do now makes it that much more difficult.

“Jenna, slow down! You are going to pull those delicate ligaments! How much longer are we going to keep walking? We have already walked over a mile and I need to start getting ready for your mother’s party.” Robert whines and looks at his watch. “You already have eaten spicy food for lunch and now the walking. Nothing is happening! And I am sorry, but don’t you even dare ask me to have sex with you to try to force that baby out!” The expression on his face is so appalled at the idea that I can’t help but laugh out loud.

“Robert, I am not THAT desperate for the baby to come out.” I look at my watch to see that it is getting late for him. “Fine, we can leave but we need to stop at the drugstore first so I can buy castor oil.”

“Castor oil? Good god, Jenna that’s almost as bad as being desperate enough to have sex with a gay man! You’re going to shit your brains out! No, I draw the line on this!” He slashes his hand in the air as if really trying to draw a line.

I shudder at the visual, but am determined to still try it. “My mother used it for me and I came out just fine.”

“Your mother is bat shit crazy and probably has a deal with the devil! She got lucky as it doesn’t work on everyone and I read it can be dangerous for the baby. Please don’t do it, Jenna.” He grips my hand and squeezes so I would look at his face to see his concern.

“How about this, I will only take half of the recommended dose, okay? Maybe even less than that. And I will take it once Layla arrives to babysit me.” I joke as the two of them have not left me alone these past three weeks. Layla will be coming over to spend New Year’s Eve with me while Robert is at the party. The plan is to have a nice dinner, watch the ball drop and have a sip of champagne. I am nine months pregnant, one sip is not going to hurt the baby and I deserve it!

“All right.” He grumbles. “But I still don’t like this idea!” We stop at the drug store and I buy the castor oil and a small bottle of root beer to drink with it and we head back to my apartment.

Four hours later and I feel like a proud mama watching her son go to the prom as Robert comes out of my guest room, looking impeccable in a three-piece black tuxedo. My eyes tear up at how proud I am of him. While I would love to blame these tears on my pregnancy hormones, I think I would have this reaction even if I wasn’t pregnant. He has really stepped up both personally and professionally to help me juggle what my new life is going to be like. He’s become the little brother I never had. I would literally be a mess without him.

Layla whistles and walks a slow circle around him. “Look at you, you sexy thang! You look marvelous!”

“You really do, Robert. You look amazing! The baby thinks so too as he won’t stop kicking since you walked back in.”

Robert places his hand on my belly and we watch my belly ripple like a low wave on the lake. This is the best part of being pregnant - feeling the baby kick and move inside of you.

“I’m still waiting for a small hand to come out of your belly and fist bump me.” He laughs and shakes his head. “Stop calling my princess a ‘he’. You know you’re having a girl for me to spoil.”

I groan at the thought, really hoping for a baby boy who looks just like me with the only thing inherited from his father are his height and magnificent blue eyes. “If it’s a girl and she’s anything like me, I will have gray hair before I am forty!” We all laugh at the thought of another sassy Pruitt girl in this world.

Robert stops laughing and his face gets serious. “I don’t know if I can handle Pamela without you.” He grips my hands and squeezes.

“You’ll be just fine. Everything is ready to go. Besides, she’s always liked you better than me anyways. Maybe she’ll try to hook you up this time with someone since I won’t be there,” I say with a hopeful smile. My mother loves playing matchmaker and has taken it upon herself at every single one of her parties to put eligible, successful bachelors in my place.

“With your mother’s tastes, I will definitely be coming home alone.”

“You better be coming home alone since you are sleeping here!” I nod at Layla’s words, really hoping he wouldn’t do that.

“Layla, unlike you, I have zero desire for both of you to hear me get down to business. So, before I leave, I want to watch you take that castor oil to make sure you do what we agreed upon.”

I nod and head to the kitchen. The directions on the package say one to four tablespoons, so I decide to only do the one. Robert and Layla both read the packaging and watch me pour the one-tablespoon into my root beer.

“Bottoms up!” I toast to them, take a swig and immediately start to gag at the horrible taste and texture of the cocktail.

“That’s what you get for wanting to get my baby out early!” Robert laughs at me as I make gagging noises.

“It’s only one day early and this is revolting! I can’t finish this!” I pour the remaining liquid down the sink drain, regretting my decision to take it.

“Can you do me a favor and please try not to poop anywhere else besides the toilet? I love you, but I really have no desire to clean up turd.” Layla shakes her head at the thought.

“I don’t think anything will even happen since I did the lowest dosage and didn’t even finish it.”

Two hours later, Layla and I are eating dinner when all of a sudden I feel a wave of nausea and I start to sweat. I feel a sharp pain and I gasp out loud, holding my belly.

“Jenna, what’s wrong? You’re completely white as a ghost!” Layla grips my hand with worry.

I run to the bathroom, having to hold my belly and my butt as I make it just in time to relieve myself. It seriously was exactly like the scene with Jeff Bridges in Dumb and Dumber.

“Are you okay in there? You’ve been in there an awfully long time.” Layla knocks on my bathroom door to check on me.

“Yeah, I’m okay, besides being traumatized by the power of castor oil.” I hear Layla laugh as she leaves my room. I take a shower, finish my dinner and settle on the couch to start watching the New Year’s Eve festivities.

* * *

I cry out loud in my sleep as an intense cramp ripples from my back to my abdomen. I sit up in my bed and hold my belly, praying that this is not another onslaught of the effects from the castor oil. The pain slowly subsides and I look at my clock to see it is three o’clock in the morning. We’ve been asleep for almost three hours. I decide to get up to see if Robert has made it home yet. I look over at Layla, who’s sleeping next to me, to make sure I don’t disturb her. I tiptoe out into the hallway to see the guest bedroom door is still open, indicating he has not arrived home. I go back into my room and lay back down. I’m about to fall asleep when another sharp pain grips my abdomen. I sit up and start to do my breathing exercises while counting to see how many seconds the pain lasts. As soon as it’s over, I take a deep breath and look at my phone. It has been ten minutes and it felt just like the first one.

I get out of my bed, grab my phone and go into my bathroom to look on the internet to check if these are true contraction. As soon as I get into my bathroom, I feel a tightening, then hear a popping sound and water rushes down my legs onto the floor. Oh shit, my water just broke! I look down in shock as we were told in our birthing class that most women’s water does not break like it does in the movies. I grab some towels to clean up the mess and go wake up Layla.

“Layla, my water just broke. It’s time.” I shake her to try to rouse her out of her sleep.

“What?” She grumbles, clearly not enjoying being interrupted.

“Time to go. My water just broke.” I turn on the lights and see her shield her eyes from the brightness.

“Your water broke?” She asks with a confused look on her face.

“Yes, it’s time to get dressed.” I pull out my going to the hospital outfit and start to put it on.

“Oh, shit!” Layla throws back the covers and races around the room to get dressed, finally understanding what’s happening.

We’re ready to go in five minutes and just as we’re about to leave, Robert walks through the door, looking exhausted.

“Whoa, why are you ladies up?” Shock registers on his face as we greet him in the living room.

“It’s time to have the baby!” Layla says, excitement gleaming from her now awake eyes.

“Really?” Robert looks over to me for confirmation and I nod. I grab my purse and suddenly stop in my tracks as another contraction hits me. I lean against the wall, hold my belly and breathe rapidly. Robert and Layla just stare at me, their eyes growing wide as they watch me. The pain finally subsides and as I take deep breaths, I look around my apartment, feeling like I am missing something.

“Where are the car seat and hospital bag?” I open the hallway closet and don’t see them there.

“I put them in the car before I left today just in case that crazy idea of yours with castor oil worked. I can’t believe it worked, by the way. That baby better be fine, Jenna!” Robert wags his finger at me in warning.

“Well, let’s go find out!” We head downstairs, get into my car and make the short drive to the hospital. I have another contraction in the car before I am wheeled into the hospital. Robert registers for me and after having to sit through two more contractions in the waiting room, we finally get a room in labor and delivery.

“When do I get my epidural?” I pant as another contraction rips through me. The on-call doctor and nurse are monitoring my contractions and the baby’s heart rate as I breathe through the pain.

“Your contractions are strong, so we can go ahead and start you on an epidural. Let’s check your effacement and cervix.”

“Oh, thank god!” I breathe out as the pain slowly decreases.

“You’re 100% effaced, but your cervix is only halfway there. Let’s give it another hour to see if you progress, and if not, we’ll put you on Pitocin.”

Five minutes later, the anesthesiologist comes in and discusses the epidural, the insertion, what will happen and any side effects. He waits for another contraction to pass before inserting the epidural. Once he’s finished, I breathe a sigh of relief and lay back against the hospital bed. The nurses and anesthesiologist leave the room and for the first time, Layla, Robert and I are alone.

“I can’t believe we’re here,” I say as I look around the hospital room.

“Are you scared?” Layla asks. I look at her in silence before answering.

“Not yet,” I smirk, not wanting to get all worked up over the unknowns. “Let’s not even think about it. Robert, tell me ALL about the party!”

Robert goes into detail about the party, how much money they actually raised and how my mother did try to set him up with someone. “He was bald and wrinkly, but had lots of money she told me!” He laughs and shakes his head. “Honestly though, she looked sad. She didn’t have that normal devilish Pamela Pruitt twinkle in her eye. I think she really misses you.”

I swallow the lump in my throat and shrug. Despite all of her craziness, I can’t deny that I do miss my mother. According to my father, she feels I should be the one apologizing for my behavior that night. I inherited my mother’s stubbornness as I don’t plan on apologizing anytime soon as I believe she is the one who owes me an apology. I have come to terms that this is her loss and she has the power to make it right.

An hour passes and the doctor comes back in to check on me. “Doesn’t look like much progress has been made. Let’s go ahead and start the Pitocin.” The nurse nods at the doctor and leaves the room. “It is going to be a long day with this being your first baby. Try to get some sleep while we wait.” She looks over at Layla and Robert. “Why don’t you two go get something to eat or some coffee while Ms. Pruitt tries to rest?”

“Robert, go home. You are exhausted. Layla will call you if anything changes.” Robert looks from me to Layla with worry in his eyes.

“Are you sure?” He asks and I nod my head. “Okay, but Layla, you BETTER call me or we are no longer friends!”

“Stop being so dramatic, you know I will! I’m going to pull out this chair bed and go to sleep.” She nods toward the chair that pulls out into a twin bed.

Robert gives us each a hug goodbye and leaves. The nurses help pull out Layla’s bed and provide her with a blanket and sheets.

“How are you feeling?” The nurse asks as she checks the contraction monitor print out.

“Epidurals are amazing!” I say, my eyes ready to close from exhaustion. She just laughs and tells me to rest. I look over at Layla to see she is already fast asleep. I close my eyes and drift off.

But I quickly learn that “sleeping” in a hospital is a bit of a joke. They wake me up to check my progress every hour. After the third time, I am green with envy that Layla is sleeping through all of this.

“You are progressing nicely,” the doctor says. “I am predicting maybe another two to three hours and we can start turning off the Pitocin, lowering your epidural and begin the pushing process.” She leaves the room and I close my eyes to try to go back to sleep.

Not twenty minutes later, I hear the door open again and I can’t contain my exasperated sigh of annoyance for my sleep being interrupted. I open my eyes to find my parents staring back at me. My father is next to my bed, smiling, while my mother is at the foot of the bed, holding a vase of beautiful flowers, her gaze hesitant as she waits for my reaction at their arrival.

“Hi sweetheart, how are you feeling?” My dad pushes my hair off my forehead and gazes at me lovingly. Robert must have called them, which I’m grateful he did.

“I’m just tired. They put me on Pitocin and think that within the next two to three hours we should be good to go.” I look over at my mother and nod to her. “Hello, Mother.”

I watch her wipe away a tear and clear her throat. “Oh Jenna, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t thinking clearly that night and should have been more sympathetic. This situation just wasn’t what I wanted for you.” She sighs and shakes her head. “No matter, I shouldn’t have placed blame and I apologize.” She comes around to my other side, puts the vase of flowers down and grips my hand.

“My baby is having a baby and that is such a beautiful thing. If you think about it, this is a miracle since you had so much difficulty before. Robert called us and told us you were here and I just couldn’t bear the thought of missing the birth of my first grandchild. Do you mind that we’re here?”

“No, Mother, I’m very happy you are here.” I squeeze her hand and she throws herself at me, hugging me as hard as she can. She pulls back and looks at me with more tears in her eyes and places her hand on my belly. “I sure can’t wait to see this little one.” She looks behind her and gasps in surprise, not seeing Layla when she first walked in. “How is Layla even sleeping through all of this?”

“I’m not, I am just basking in the glow of the reconciliation.” She opens her eyes and we all laugh at her dreamy face.

My parents sit down and tell me about the party and what a wonderful job Robert did. I beam with pride at hearing these words because my mother is a harsh critic, so if she is happy then it must have been wonderful. “He really did a wonderful job, Jenna. He deserves a raise.”

I nod my head, thinking about all that he’s taken on these past months. “He sure does.”

The doctor chooses that moment to come back in. After I introduce her to my parents, she checks my progress.

“Wow, well, it looks like we are going to be ready quicker than I thought. You are 100% dilated. We are going to remove the Pitocin and lower your epidural so you can start feeling your legs again.”

“Will I feel those awful contractions again?” Dread seeping into my voice at the memory of how painful they are.

“You’ll feel a lot of tightening, but nothing like the pain you have without an epidural. We’ll give you another hour for the medicine to start wearing off. You get to choose two people to be in here with you. Are those two people present?” She asks as she looks around at everyone, who are staring at me.

“I would like my mother and best friend here.” I turn questioning eyes to my mother who has her hands to her mouth and nods her head yes.

“I better call Robert. Mr. Pruitt, do you want to come with me to get some coffee for you and Mrs. Pruitt?” Layla asks my father. He nods his head and leaves with her. My mother smiles down at me and moves back so the nurses can start prepping for the birth of my baby.

Two hours later, tiny screams fill the air as I deliver a healthy baby girl. Everyone is hugging and crying as the nurse takes her away to record her vitals and clean her up. I move my head back and try to see around the nurses who are taking care of me and the baby. Layla is taking pictures of the baby and I am anxious to hold her.

“She’s beautiful like her mommy!” My mother says as she watches the baby get washed up. Her screaming continues until the nurse swaddles her in a blanket and brings her to me.

As she places her in my arms, everyone in the room fades as I stare at my daughter. I’m in complete awe at her perfect tiny nose, her perfect tiny lips, and her perfect tiny chin. I don’t realize that I’m crying until a tear splashes on her face, causing her beautiful face to squish up, ready to scream at the intrusion. I quietly shush her and she opens her eyes at me. It feels like I am looking into her soul and at that moment, I am beyond thankful that she is mine.

“So, this is what true love feels like.” I smile down at her and kiss her forehead, ready to start my new life with her.