I hear my bedroom door slowly open, the pitter-patter of feet against the carpet. The bed shifts slightly and I feel a hand brush the hair away from my ear.

"Mommy," she whispers into my ear. “Time for you to wake up."

I moan softly, pretending to be asleep as I’m curious to hear what she’s going to say. I’ve actually been awake for an hour, staring up at my ceiling, trying to map out the busy day ahead of me.

"Wake up, lazy bones!" Her tiny voice gets louder and she pushes her hands against my chest. I throw my arm over my eyes and bite my lip to prevent the smile that wants to form on my face.

"Mommy!" She says as sternly as she can. "You need to wake up and make breakfast! I need to go to school to see my boyfriend."

"What?" I throw my arm off my face and pound the bed, the movement startling her. She starts to laugh and I proceed to tickle her, wishing I could bottle that sweet sound up forever.

"Boyfriend? What boyfriend? You are not allowed to have a boyfriend!" I continue to tickle her, her feet almost kicking my face as she falls back against my legs in a fit of laughter. I scoop her up and hug her to me. This only lasts briefly before she is pushing herself out of my arms.

"Uncle Robert met him and says he approves! I don’t know what that word means but he was smiling so that must mean it’s good. So do I get to keep him?" She asks, her eyes getting wide.

"I need to meet him first before I decide on that. And we don't 'keep' people, silly!" She doesn’t pay attention to me as she runs in her room to get ready.

I help her get dressed and then start making breakfast in the kitchen. Breakfast is my favorite meal with Avery. I love watching the expressions that cross her face as she watches television while eating. The cliché saying of how time moves faster when you have children is pure truth. It seems like yesterday I was in that delivery room. How has it been four years? I stare at my baby, who is looking more like a little girl every single day. And every day the same thought crosses my mind as I stare at her:

She looks exactly like HIM.

Dark hair, pale skin and those famous blue eyes. She has my bone structure, so people tend to say she looks like me. But if they knew who her dad was, they would be singing a different tune. I am not surprised at all by the irony of it and it certainly does not alter the fact that I am irrevocably in love with her. I don’t think about Cal Harrington anymore, but I can’t ignore his image when it is staring back at me from a magazine cover in the grocery aisle line. His career has risen and he has become one of the elite actors in Hollywood. I’m sure he doesn’t think twice about the child he has in this world and every time I do see an image of him, hatred rears its ugly head. I wish I could let go of my hatred towards him, but I can’t seem to. I look over at Avery as she announces she is done with breakfast and can’t even fathom not wanting to be part of her life.

I bring my thoughts back to reality and get us both ready to walk her to school. I was fortunate to find a highly rated child care facility within walking distance from our apartment and we love it even if I do want to throw up every time I write the outrageously expensive monthly tuition check. Professionally, my company has been doing the best it ever has been. The monthly news segments have been a hit and we’ve gained some new high profile clients from those segments. But with more publicity comes more demand and with Avery now in my life, I had to think of ways to work smarter as I refuse to be an absentee mother. We stopped accepting new corporate parties for the months of November and December and put all of our attention on our current client’s parties. I converted my dining room into a small office area for Robert and our new part-time assistant. I have scaled back my travels and only accept speaking engagements for conferences that will pay me the most money. When my workday ends at 5 p.m., my full attention is on Avery until she goes to bed and then I stay up and work on blog posts for our children theme parties. I have made friends with some of the other parents at Avery’s school and often use Avery and her playmates as my models for the photos we put up on the blog of our themed parties. Some of those blog posts have even been featured in national entertainment magazines, which have increased sales for our online shop that sells the decor to these parties.

My professional life even crossed over into my personal life when I met the man I am currently dating. The captain’s wife for the local professional hockey team saw one of our news segments and called to hire us for her son’s birthday party. It was there that I met Jax Morrow. I wasn’t looking or even interested in dating anyone, but I couldn’t resist his charm or persuasion to go out with him. It isn’t just because of his good looks, but the way he looks at me and how it makes me feel. Being around Jax made me start to desire men again, a feeling I hadn’t felt since Cal. Jax is divorced with a daughter of his own and is in his last years of playing hockey for the Blackhawk’s minor league team. In the beginning, our relationship was casual because he plays majority of the time in Rockford, which is two hours away, and spends his summers with his daughter in Canada. Our relationship consisted mostly of phone calls and seeing each other on the weekends when I’m available to go to his games or if he has an off weekend to come to Chicago. This has been working out perfectly for me, but as we’ve been spending more time together, I sense that Jax wants more and I don’t know if I am ready to give him that yet. Avery is my world and I won’t let any man take my attention from her. As long as I have her, nothing else matters.

As I look down at my daughter while we walk to school, I realize how truly blessed I am in every aspect of my life and I pray it stays that way.

* * *

After dropping her off and going for a run, I went home and got dressed for my busy day at work. Robert and I just left a meeting with a current client whose holiday party we are starting to plan for. With an hour to spare before we have to pick up Avery from childcare, we decide to get a cup of coffee at our favorite local coffee shop. We place our order and find a seat while they make our drinks.

“That meeting went really well. I just absolutely love winter wonderland parties!” Robert sighs, as I nod in agreement. They are my favorite parties to do as well. The theme is so easy and can be so elegant and majestic. “Too bad that CFO is married,” Robert murmurs, referring to the CFO of the company we just had the meeting with. The CFO attends every meeting, making sure his Human Resource Director does not go over budget.

“Speaking about love lives, what’s going on with yours?” I ask, as he has not mentioned anyone old or new recently.

“Oh, you know, just meeting people who only want to have fun! " He says as he shrugs his shoulders. “Unlike Layla, I get their names and sometimes have repeat customers. But business has been slow recently,” he says with a laugh.

I smile but am distracted by his reference of Layla. Layla seems to have only gotten worse with men. She went back to online dating, which only lasted a hot second. She claims she doesn’t have time to go out on dates and it’s just easier to meet men out and do whatever she is in the mood for that night with them. I am all for women being sexually liberated, but Layla is doing it for the wrong reasons. Especially when she purposely doesn’t want to know the names of her partners. She uses this as her motive to shield her heart. I completely understand her reasoning, but I can’t help but be very worried about it.

I feel my phone vibrate as the waitress brings our drinks. I lift my phone out of my pocket to see Jax is calling me. It is very unusual for me to hear from him during this time of the day, so I decide to answer the phone to see if he is okay.

“Hello?” I answer as Robert looks at me to see who it is.

“Hello, gorgeous!” Jax says, “What are you doing?”

“I’m having coffee with Robert, what are you doing?” I mouth who it is to Robert. “I can barely hear you with all the background noise. Where are you?” I cup my hand over the phone so he can hear me better.

“I’m having lunch with some of the guys, but I wanted to let you know that I got called up for tonight’s game. One of the guys got hurt at practice today and since a lot of guys are out sick, they had to call me and a defenseman up as replacement.” My stomach tightens a little bit as I anticipate what he’s going to say next. “Can you make the game tonight if I leave you a ticket at will call?” My intuition being right on par.

“Well, with such short notice, I don’t know if I will be able to get a babysitter that quickly. Besides, it’s a school night and the game ends too late for Avery to attend,” I quickly say before he can suggest she comes with me. Despite her only being in childcare, I try not to schedule anything during a school night. That time is for her and I.

“I can watch Avery!” Robert says loud enough for Jax to hear him, a twinkle in his eye as he looks at me.

“Robert just so kindly offered to watch her, so I guess I’ll be there.” I give Robert a look indicating that I am not to happy that he made the offer without me thinking about it.

“Tell Robert thank you and I can’t wait to see you, baby!” His voice gets low and sensual.

“Me too. Have a safe drive.” I say goodbye and hang up. I look at Robert, who is continuing to look at me strangely. “While I truly appreciate you offering to watch Avery for me, it would have been nice to think about if I wanted to go tonight. I have so much work to do and you know how I feel about being away from her on school night.”

“Oh, Jenna, I SOOO see your game.” He looks at me with a sly smile playing on his lips.

I narrow my eyes at him. “What are you talking about? I don’t play games.” I blow on the hot coffee, curious as to why he would say that.

“That man is so in love with you and you are going to crush his heart into a million pieces.” He leans back and crosses his arm, shaking his head at me.

“You’re crazy! Why do you think he’s in love with me? I give him zero reasons to be. I put my career and my daughter before him and have made that very clear from day one. I don’t show PDA and don’t do anything nice for him. I barely ever make the drive out to Rockford. Who would be in love with that?” I skeptically look at him while taking a sip of my coffee.

“Because he sees what all of us see. A hard working, independent and financially secure beautiful woman. You are exactly what men are looking for. Especially with that magically tight pussy of yours.”

I spit out my coffee all over our table at his statement and continue to choke on the remnants that remain in my throat. Laughing, Robert stands up and pounds on my back to help me. I brush him off and he leaves to retrieve some napkins. I glance up and notice our surrounding tablemates looking at me with disgust. “Sorry, hot coffee,” I mutter out in complete embarrassment. Robert returns with napkins and a glass of water. I grab the water, take a big swallow and help clean up my coffee spit. Once we are done, the waitress comes over and removes the used napkins and replaces them with fresh ones. I sit in silence, staring at Robert and wonder where his mind goes sometimes.

“What?” he asks, “It’s the truth.” He smiles, shrugs and takes a sip of his coffee. “I hope you didn’t get any of your coffee throw up in my drink.” He looks at his cup quizzically.

“If I did, you deserve it!” I pause before saying my next thought. “So why do you think it’s tight and magical?” I look at him with a smile on my face, now being able to laugh at his terminology.

“You had a child, Jenna, and you’ve been obsessed with working out and taking care of yourself since then. Before Jax, you hadn’t had sex since Cal. All those years of no sex and doing kegels daily so you won’t piss in your pants every time you laugh and sneeze equals a magically tight pus…”

“Okay, okay, no need to say the ‘p’ word again!” I hiss at him, completely comprehending his meaning so he won’t say my least favorite name for women’s anatomy in public again. He knows I hate that word, along with the “c u next Tuesday” word and deliberately says them all the time to get me riled up.

He throws his head back and laughs at my reaction. “Oh my gosh, this has been the best coffee talk ever!” He continues to giggle as I give him the evil eye. “Oh, come on, Jenna! Let’s be honest with ourselves, shall well? You have not dated anyone this long since your ex-husband. Why do you think out of ALL the men that have been put in your path, you give a hockey player a chance? Let’s see…” he taps his finger against his mouth while looking up in mock questioning, “is it because he is not local, travels all the time and is never in one place? Seems to me that is your golden ticket to not have to put any effort into the relationship. And since you don’t, if he decides to screw one of the many puck bunnies that comes his way, you won’t bat an eyelash or shed a tear when saying goodbye to him. You haven’t even mentioned him to any of your other friends and the only way your parents know is because Avery told them mommy had a boy who wasn’t me over for dinner.” He leans in closer to me to make his final point. “You are using him. Obviously for sex, because why else would you continue taking his calls? Just stop denying that you don’t play games with people, because until you tell him exactly why he is in your life, you, my dear, are a hypocrite.” With that, he sits back and continues drinking his coffee.

I lean back in my chair and continue to stare at him while his words sink in. For Robert to feel the need to call me out must mean one thing – he likes Jax Morrow more than he lets on. “I don’t think I’m using him for sex. I do enjoy his company when I’m with him. I just like that we don’t have to be together all the time. I like not having to answer to anyone. I like that I still get my alone time, especially with Avery. He’s not asking for anything more right now, so if everything is going well, why do I need to make changes to our relationship?”

“Summer will be here soon - what if he asks you to come to Canada? Or he stays here this summer and asks his ex-wife if their daughter can come here? Are you ready for that?”

“He knows I won’t spend a whole summer in Canada. And why do I need to think about things that may not even happen?”

Robert shakes his head at me. “Don’t lead him on, Jenna.”

“I’m not intentionally trying to lead him on!“ I say with exasperation. “I don’t think he’s in love with me. You do! Besides enjoying calling me out at any opportunity that comes your way, let’s just say that I am using him for sex, which I’m NOT, why do you even care? Pot calling the kettle black, don’t you think?” I raise an eyebrow at him, deliberately reminding him of his many one-night stands.

“Can’t you see the pedestal I have you on? No one took a chance on me like you did. You’re my mentor, my idol. I will protect your honor with all that I have. I actually like Jax; I think he might be good for you. I just want that happily ever after for you.” He grabs my hand and squeezes.

I place my hand over his and squeeze right back. “We all deserve happily ever after’s, Robert,” I say, with tears in my eyes as his words touch my heart. “Thank you, dear friend, for your honesty and loving me like you do. I feel like I’m the lucky one for having you put up with me, not only as your boss, but as your insane friend. And you put up with my kid, and we all know how she’s as crazy as her mommy!” I say with a laugh, wiping the runaway tear that fell from my eye.

“That crazy little monster has me wrapped around her little finger,” he says while blinking the wetness out of his eyes. “Just like her mommy.” He takes his other hand, pats my hand on top of his other one and removes them from my grasp. “Seriously though, you do need to think about the future and if it includes Jax. By the way, does he come back to your place when he is in town?”

“No, the team has a hotel room for him every time they call him up and he stays there until they tell him that they are keeping him up for the remainder of the season, which he would then find an apartment, or they send him back down.”

“So you’re having hotel sex, huh? Kinky!” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down at me.

“Sorry, kid, you’re not getting any graphic details out of me.” I laugh at the disappointment on his face.

“C’mon, Jenna, he’s so cute and I now have to live my sex life vicariously through you, which I never thought would happen!” He whines, which makes me laugh even harder as I wouldn’t think he would have to either.

Not really wanting to talk about my sex life, I decide to change the subject. “Are you going with Layla to Las Vegas this weekend?” Like myself, Layla has refused to go back to Las Vegas since our last trip there and has managed to find someone else to go for her since then. Unfortunately for her, her boss is demanding that she go this time and she’s asked Robert to go with her.

“I promised my realtor friend to help him with an open house this weekend. Even though I still want to go to Las Vegas, I don’t think I want to go with Layla and be left by myself while she canoodles with men.”

I nod in agreement and can’t blame him for feeling that way. “We need an intervention with her, but I honestly don’t know what it’s going to take.” I shake my head, upset with how Layla is choosing to live her life.

“Let’s talk about this while we walk to go get Avery.” I look at my watch to see that it is indeed time to go, especially since I need to get ready now for my evening with Jax.