Chapter 10
Avidya
Julia busied herself with making tea for herself in the kitchen while I sat at the counter, my head resting in my open palm. I was tired, given how early it was, but there was no way I’d be able to actually go back to sleep. Not when I was worried about Zachariah. It wouldn’t matter if it was now or years later. My heart pounded with worry and thoughts of what could happen while he was away from the house.
Away from me.
“I still worry, too, you know,” Julia mused. “It isn’t often anymore that Carlos gets called away so late, or early for this instant.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever get used to it,” I replied through a yawn.
“You won’t,” Julia said in a promise. “You’ll learn to cope; it’s not something that will ever be worry free.” She paused while pouring the steaming tea into a white coffee cup that was easily found in one of the cupboards. “I wasn’t a fan that Zach went into this life, you know. Well, both of my boys as far as that goes. I always tried my best to keep him away from Carlos, and the dealings that went on. But I could only do so much. Men born into this family, a grandson of the Don at that, was difficult to just stand back and let my little boys learn this way life was.
“I did everything I could to protect them. Luckily, Carlos was able to get it swayed that the boys got to choose when they turned sixteen. At such a time, they would learn the ropes of how to live life the way they were meant to. I had no say over it. It was as it was,” she detailed, looking at me straight on.
“Melio, older by a year and a half, wasn’t a huge fan of joining. It was only because I was threatened, like most women in the family, that he joined. It was just some little threat that really had no promise of ever happening. He joined when he turned seventeen, determined to keep me safe.
“Carols was able to get him to do small, less important tasks to keep him busy. He helps keep Zack’s club running, along with fixing up new clients that need the family’s assistant for one thing or another. I keep my nose out of all that. The less I know the inner workings of what my boys do the better.
“Anyhow, Zach started to take an interest when Carlos brought home a woman that was heavily pregnant and needed our help to get away from one of the men that abused her. Most mafia made men don’t care how they treat their women, but Carlos and I raised our boys to know to respect every single woman alive, thanks to me.
“This woman wanted out, knowing that the baby she was carrying wasn’t even the man’s she was running away from. I wasn’t home at the time, or I would have made sure to send Zach out to do something as simple as running to the store to find some name brand bread that the store wouldn’t even have.
“Zach had seen her and ended up listening in on the conversation between this woman and my husband. He knew about who we were as a family; we never did hide that from him. He knew that there were monsters out there. But seeing this woman fearing for not her own life, but the life within, is what dragged him into the life he has now.”
“He would have made it to this life sooner or later,” I stated, knowing that he would have. I know without a doubt that Zachariah would have come into the family business one way or another.
“Yeah, he would have,” Julia gave out a sad laugh with a shake of her head. “If not then, it would have been a week later when he was shot while walking down the street with his father.”
I had questions, but I didn’t think that Julia would be the one that would answer. I’m sure she’d answer anything, or just about anything if I were to ask. It just didn’t feel right about asking her such things.
Instead, she sipped her tea as I fought to keep my eyes opened.
I was sore from the night’s activities, and sitting on this uncomfortable stool didn’t exactly help matters. But, Zachariah did show me that he loved me, cherished me even.
“We should work on wedding plans later in the day,” Julia spoke, bringing me out of my thoughts.
“There’s no need to do that,” I said, lifting my eyes to her.
“I know you aren’t a huge fan of it,” she stated slowly. “But we need to get the ball rolling. It’ll only make it harder to get it done the longer we put it off.”
I debated on telling her about what had happened yesterday, but let that thought drift away. If Julia was going to be upset about Zachariah and I eloping, it was better if he was here to take the heat. Let just him deal with the aftermath since we were the one that brought it up in the first place.
Julia cocked her head to the side, thinking for a moment before giving me a knowing smile. I prepared myself to defend whatever she was about to say, but was saved by the slamming of the front door. A second later, heavy footsteps thumped along the tiled floor with a softer set that shuffled.
My heart froze in my chest, as I hadn’t expected anyone to come in that way, let alone unannounced. I saw Julia freeze out of the corner of my eye.
Of all the weeks I’d been here so far, no one had just entered that door. Not even Jonas and Travis. They used the back door that was key-coded for just that purpose. Had Zachariah forgotten to set the alarm before leaving? Or did he not worry about it, knowing that there were a number of his men hanging out in the shadows of the yard?
“Just me,” Carlos stated calmly as he rounded the corner at seeing my look of fear and worry. “Didn’t mean to startle you.”
“You nearly gave me a heart attack,” Julia said, letting her shoulders drop. “Didn’t think you boys would be back so soon.”
“It didn’t take too long,” Zachariah said, coming in through the garage.
When I saw him, I let out a breath that I had been holding. It was like a weight had been lifted as he stood there, looking me over. He had no marks on him. No signs that he was a part of something that would normally send him straight to prison.
He was just my Zachariah.
“Hi,” he breathed as he pulled me into a crushing hug against his chest.
“Hi,” I echoed, laying my head against his chest. I could hear the steady thumping of his heart within him.
“Well, I’ll start on breakfast,” Julia spoke, breaking the silence and causing me and Zachariah to slip apart. He took ahold of my hand instead. At least we both wanted to keep our skin touching.
“Make enough for an extra guest,” Carlos spoke, moving aside so that the boy standing with his head down was seen.
That certainly explained the shuffling footsteps.
While I stood there, not sure how to respond, Julia made her way slowly to the boy who appeared to be about ten-years-old or so. His brown shirt was two sizes too small and covered with a number of holes around the seams. His black hair was hanging over his eyes.
Once she reached the boy, Julia kneeled down to his level, a look of open calmness upon her face.
“Hi there,” she spoke as I finally tried to hide my surprise.
Was it a normal occurrence to bring children into this life? It was bad enough that I was brought into this life.
“My name is Julia. What’s yours?” Julia spoke.
I watched as Carlos stepped away, keeping his steps slow and light.
“Toby,” his voice low, just above a whisper.
“Well, Toby, how about we get you into a bath, then we’ll find some food,” Julia stated as she stood up and offered her hand to the boy.
Toby glanced up at Carlos, who now stood on the other side of the counter where his wife had just been moments before.
“Go ahead,” he said, dipping his head. He kept his voice more easygoing than normal.
After a few moments, Toby slowly laid his hand into Julia’s. His look of pure uncertainty and fear never faltered.
I wasn’t sure what to say, nor what to ask. How was one to ask about the reasons on why a child was brought into this house in such a way? I hoped, dear God, I hoped, that it wasn’t a normal thing.
What if I was like that child? I certainly could have been.
“I’ll start making breakfast,” I stated, my voice flat to hide the distress I felt. It was safer that way. For now at least.
“Shemoli is no longer a threat,” Zachariah said, watching for my reaction. He spoke as though it was nothing. As if a life could be wiped out just that easily.
To my husband, I’m positive that was how he saw it.
Shock. Horror. Awe. Acceptance.
How was one to feel after finding out that the man that not only killed your best friend, but also kidnapped you himself, was no longer a threat? Was I to feel ashamed? Relieved? Anything at all?
I wasn’t sure what I felt. Everything and nothing all at once.
Zachariah had informed me about what went down as if he was telling me about the weather. Did he expect me to be upset? I surely wouldn’t be. Not for that man that meant nothing to me.
Was I possibly getting used to this life that I was unwillingly brought into? What more could possibly come next?
What I did know was that I wasn’t surprised by the turn of events. Zachariah had promised that he would kill the men behind my kidnapping.
Every. Single. One.
That included Cody and Lynn Ray, despite that they were trying to do well by me at the start of my life. They were as much at fault as anyone else.
I wasn’t thrilled about how things went down, but I guess Shemoli thought that taking his own life was better than whatever my husband would have dished out. The man in question was willing to kill himself, which was the lowest of lows for anyone. Was it really better than suffering from the hands of a monster?
My husband was a mobster. A monster in his line of work. I couldn’t love him any less, despite what I knew he was capable of doing to any person, at any given moment.
“Zach can tell me why you both ran off yesterday,” Carlos stated, looking between us with a knowing look.
He knew.
I gulped as Zach was quick to answer. “Spending time alone with my girl.”
“I know you, Zach,” Carlos spoke. “You two went off to elope, didn’t you?”
“Do you have proof?” Zachariah rebutted.
Carlos simply stared at my husband unblinking. He didn’t have to say the words. Carlos knew.
My heart pounded within my chest as I tried to busy myself with getting breakfast started. I hid my shaking hands by beginning to make scrambled eggs, hoping that no one would pay attention to me.
Zachariah raised one of his eyebrows, willing to be called out. I had to wonder if he would even sweat if faced with a gun to his head.
“Do I need to answer that?” Carlos spoke, his voice clipped.
“You had me followed?” Zachariah asked.
“After what happened, yes,” Carlos said, not at all upset about doing so. It seemed as if he nearly had the right to follow anyone he damn well pleased. “You get to tell your mother,” Carlos stated, lifting his chin upward in a sign of demand.
“Tell me what?” Julia asked, entering back into the kitchen, the boy clinging to her leg as he attempted to hide.
Toby was now all clean, and wore one of Zachariah’s shirts, although it was much too big for him. At least he was clean. He still looked as though his own shadow could frighten him, but given what he most likely had been through, it wasn’t all that surprising.