Cold steel prodding one's side makes for a rude awakening. Iain felt the cold of the blade seep through his veins. When he slowly lifted his head from the sleeping Islaen's breasts, he knew a mixture of relief and consternation. For a moment he had feared that Catalina's lover had found him, which could well have meant Islaen's death along with his. The eight MacRoths surrounding his bed looked far from friendly, but they would at least not harm Islaen. They would also be appeased by the wedding.
"If ye be wondering why your squire didnae stop us ‘tis because he is tied up for the moment."
The iciness in Alaistair MacRoth's voice made Iain wince inwardly. It was hardly wise to antagonize one's father by marriage. Neither was it wise to get on the bad side of your wife's brothers especially when there were eleven of them.
"Ye best start explaining this and fast, laddie."
"Fither?” mumbled Islaen as she opened sleep-clogged eyes and began to realize that she and Iain were no longer alone.
That brought all eyes of the MacRoths to fix upon her. Iain watched those eyes widen with disbelief and followed the direction of their gazes. Islaen's lovely full breasts were bared to view. Seeing the stunned looks upon her kin's gaze, Islaen colored deeply. Her blooming had been kept a secret from a lot of people. He almost laughed when the MacRoths looked at him again, accusation in their faces.
Islaen hurriedly pulled up the linen to cover herself. It had been her intention to talk to her father, tell him of what she had kept hidden. This was a terrible way for him to find out that his own daughter had deceived him for years.
"What did ye do to the lass?” Alaistair demanded, his angry gaze turning back to Iain.
"Sir, I think if ye will but stop to consider for a moment, ye will ken that I had naught to do with that. What occurred here might have changed the lass but not to such an extent. ‘Tis not a mon's work ye view."
"Aye, aye, I am not thinking clear.” He ran a hand through his hair and frowned at Islaen. “When did ye grow those, lass? Ye have hidden the change from me and I cannae understand the why of it."
Embarrassed that such an intimate part of her body was being discussed so openly, Islaen nevertheless did her best to answer her father honestly. “I changed not long after I, weel, became a woman."
"When ye were but thirteen?” he croaked, totally astonished over the longevity of her deception.
"Aye,” she admitted reluctantly, afraid that she might have wounded her father with her secrecy.
"For six years I have waited for ye to grow and ye had grown apace already. Why hide it?"
Seeing her family look at her as if she were totally mad annoyed Islaen and she snapped, “Why not when all ye wished for was to set me out to market like a prized sow?"
"Here now, lass,” Alaistair blustered, puffing up in preparation of arguing with his daughter.
Before the argument could gain any strength, Iain gently interrupted, “An I might have a word with ye?"
"I have more than a word or twa I wish to say to ye,” Alaistair hissed, his fury directed at Iain again. “If ye mean to claim her unchaste now and flee the wedding that way, ye best think again."
"Papa,” Islaen protested, feeling it unfair to be so insulting when Iain had not even been given a chance to speak yet.
"I mean to wed her, sir. Naught has changed,” Iain said quietly but with a firmness none could doubt.
Seeing how all the MacRoths immediately eased their fighting stances, Iain moved to don his braes. He then handed Islaen her night rail. Giving her a reassuring smile, he turned to face Alaistair.
"Could we speak o'er here for a moment, sir?” Iain moved to the far corner of his chambers.
When Islaen made to follow, Alaistair growled, “Ye stay right where ye are, lass, and ye lads see that she does."
Islaen sat down reluctantly. She wondered what Iain and her father would talk about but knew she had no chance of hearing the conversation. Her brothers were clearly intent upon being very vigilant.
"I dinnae think I need say that I am ill pleased by what I have found here,” Alaistair growled softly once he and Iain were secluded on the far side of the room.
"That I can understand, sir. There is no explaining it or excusing it. I went mad,” he said with a strong hint of selfdisgust in his voice. “She came to me to reveal this secret she has kept for so long."
"Reveal it?” Alaistair's eyes widened as he began to get an idea of just what had happened.
"Aye, just that, sir. I havenae had a woman for near to twa years. ‘Tis no real excuse, I ken it, but when she set such lovely bounty afore my eyes.... “ Iain shook his head. “I had been drinking as weel."
"Did ye hurt her?” Alaistair asked tightly, his hand going to his sword in a clearly threatening gesture.
"Nay, I feel sure I didnae. In all honesty I cannae say exactly for, as I have said, I went mad."
"The truth tell, I can understand what has happened here. A mon can only take so much temptation ere he grabs it, especially when ‘tis the fleshly sort and he has been without for a verra long time. I will trust to the fact that ye would have left the lass be had she fought ye or cried nay."
"Aye but to be fully honest, I think she didnae only because she didnae really ken what was about until t'was all over"
"Mayhaps. What I cannae understand is why she has hidden her form, why she has left me to think her form more that of a child than a woman. I ne'er thought she was unhappy to be a female though she did have a few complaints about it."
"'Tis not that, sir. She thinks she is ugly in her shape."
"The lass is daft. She could ne'er have gained such an idea from me and the lads."
"Nay. That woman, Meg, felt Islaen had grown all out of proportion and the lass believes her. She came to me because she truly believed I would find her deformed and turn her away. She wished it done ere the vows were spoken."
"She must ken otherwise now,” Alaistair drawled. “Men dinnae go mad, as ye call it, o'er an ugly lass."
"She kens that I find no fault, but I am nay sure she has lost the idea that her form is odd, unseemly."
"I will kill that udderless cow Meg."
"'Tis my thought that love directed the woman, sir. She didnae want the lass ridiculed."
"Aye,” Alaistair agreed after a moment. “Islaen's the bairn Meg ne'er had. She would ne'er hurt the lass apurpose. I will speak to the foolish woman though. There must be a way we can explain the sudden change in the lass. She cannae go back to what she was,” he mused aloud, frowning in the direction of his daughter.
"She could until we leave for Caraidland. Few from here would see her then. Later, when they do see her again, they would think that they had recalled her wrongly or that marriage had matured her."
"Aye, or childbirth."
Iain could not meet the man's gaze when he nodded in agreement. “Aye, or that."
"And now we come to the next trouble that needs sorting out. She is a maid no longer."
"The proof of her chastity is clear to read upon the linen.” With a wave of his hand Iain invited the man to look but Alaistair did not move.
"Which will be changed this day, and unless ‘tis seen by the right eyes, t'will be ignored. Robert, ye must go and fetch the king. He must be shown that all was as it should be, e'en if the wedding night was had ere the vows were said. I dinnae want this matter talked about, but better this than talk of my lass going to her marriage bed unchaste. The king arranged this match so let him bear witness now and mayhaps advise us."
Islaen softly groaned in embarrassment, earning sympathetic looks from her brothers. She had foolishly hoped to keep her fall from grace a family secret. The very involvement of the king in the arrangement of her marriage made her chastity a matter of great importance. He must know exactly what was going on. Islaen understood all that but that did not make her like it very much.
The fact that it was the day of the wedding he so wanted brought the king to Iain's chambers quickly. He wanted nothing to go wrong, yet a summons from Alaistair now could only mean trouble. When the king entered Iain's chambers, saw the disheveled bed, the undressed state of the betrothed couple and the gathering of armed MacRoths, he easily guessed what had happened and relaxed. It looked to be something easily solved; thus saving the union he sought.
"This is most unexpected,” the king murmured looking at Iain with mild condemnation.
"Aye, I surprised meself,” Iain grumbled, running a hand through his hair.
"Och, weel, Robbie, it isnae fully the lad's fault. My lass tempted him sorely."
The way Alaistair so familiarly addressed the king shocked Iain. When the king made no protest, accepted it as natural, Iain felt stunned. He had not realized just how close to the throne the MacRoths were. Iain could not help but wonder if he must now add the king himself to the growing list of ones who would be displeased if he made Islaen unhappy.
"Wee Islaen?” the king asked in total surprise. “Nay, the lass is no temptress, Alaistair."
"Weel, not by intent. Islaen, come here,” Alaistair commanded, looking at her sternly when she briefly hesitated.
Feeling color heat her cheeks, Islaen reluctantly obeyed her father. When her father directed the king's attention to her breasts and the king's face clearly showed his growing surprise, she felt like melting with embarrassment. Unable to stand such close scrutiny any longer she stepped behind Iain, using his tall body as a shield.
"Surely the change in the lass did not occur over the night,” the king muttered, his confusion clear.
"Nay, she hid the change. Her nurse convinced her t'was unseemly, odd, e'en ugly. The lass felt she had to tell Iain this secret, let him judge her shape for himself, so crept to his chambers last eve and showed the lad all she had hidden."
"Showed him?” The king's voice shook with laughter and he looked at Iain in sympathy. “Has a man e'er been so tried? So ye are human after all, Iain lad. Many have wondered."
"For Islaen's sake I would hope that they dinnae ken my weakness. She came to me in all innocence. That she no longer enjoys that state is my fault alone."
"Are ye saying ye forced her, laddie?"
"He would be dead if he had,” growled Alaistair.
At the same time Islaen peered at the king from around Iain. “Nay, sire. I ne'er once protested."
"Not once?” he teased, grinning when even Iain looked slightly disconcerted.
Islaen groaned and hid behind Iain again, pressing her hot face against his back. She felt this was more embarrassment than any soul should have to suffer. It was her fervent hope that they would hurry up and solve the problem her impetuosity had made so that she could retire to her chambers and try to compose herself. Perhaps in the rush of activity and celebration that her wedding would bring she could forget the whole trying morning.
"So the marriage has been consummated ere the vows were said,” the king mused aloud. “'Tis not the first time this has occurred. Many a betrothed couple tastes the joys of the marriage bed ere they speak the vows."
"Aye but I fear the tale that might go the rounds is that my Islaen wasnae chaste when Sir Iain took her to his bed as wife."
"Ah and it could be hinted that Iain was not the first. I see the trouble weel now. Robert, fetch the queen. She will be expecting word from me. Bring her and her woman here. Aye and this Meg woman. They will help us in smoothing over this trouble. You may cease your scowling, Alaistair. ‘Tis not such a big problem."
When the women arrived Islaen saw that she could suffer even more embarrassment than she had already. The linen was inspected, her chastity confirmed and the discussion about what to do next began. Islaen tried to distance herself from it all by watching her father and Meg, the former quite clearly chastizing the latter. She tried to discern just how much trouble Meg was in.
It was decided that the bedding ceremony and the morning visit to the bride and groom would be done by the royal couple, the queen's handmaiden, Meg and two of Islaen's brothers as weel as Alexander MacDubh to represent Iain's absent family. That settled, Islaen was hurried back to her chambers by her family.
Once assured that his squire was unharmed, Iain sent the man to locate Alexander MacDubh. When Alexander joined him, Iain rather crossly explained what had happened. He also told Alexander what part he was to play now. His humour was not at all improved by Alexander's bursts of hilarity. He was glad that strenuous efforts were being made to keep the whole matter secret. Iain had no wish to become the object of court jests.
"Come, Iain, you must see the humour of it,” Alexander said when he finally controlled his laughter.
"Mayhaps I will when I am certain we have all escaped unscathed,” he said.
"Though distant, the MacRoths are kin to the king and he is fond of them in his way. He will let nothing sully their name."
"Am I the only one who didnae ken the relationship there?"
"Weel, you are the first of your clan to linger much at court and t'was before your time that the real bond was formed and easily seen by all. If ye cocked an ear to the gossip more ye would have kenned it ere now."
"I thought ye came to court for other than talk."
"'Tis true that I come for the ladies but they do talk upon occasion. Men should pay more heed to the lasses. ‘Tis astounding what they ken, e'en if they dinnae always ken the importance of the knowledge they have gained."
"I will keep that in mind. Come, I best don my finery. They will soon wish access to my chambers."
"My friend, ye should show more cheer. Ye gain a fine lass.” Seeing little comfort in Iain's face, Alexander sighed. “Ah, weel, at least your bed will no longer be empty and mayhaps this lass can change your mind about some things."
"Right now I suspicion she has more than enough to think on without fashing herself o'er me or my thoughts."
Islaen grimaced as Meg scrubbed her back. The woman was being far more vigorous than usual. She suspected that her father had severely chastized Meg. After another moment Islaen decided she did not need to suffer for the argument her father and Meg had had. She snatched the sponge from Meg and wondered how such a soft thing could be made to feel so hard.
"I will have no skin left upon my back if ye dinnae cease,” she complained, glaring at Meg who glared right back at her.
"Dinnae fash yourself. That mon will still bed ye,” Meg grumbled and angrily moved to sort out the clothes Islaen would wear.
"Wheesht, ye have got a burr in your braes, havenae ye,” Islaen murmured as she started to bathe herself. “I had to tell the mon, Meg. I couldnae leave it ‘til the wedding night. T'wasnae right, not right at all."
"T'wasnae right to jump into the mon's bed neither."
"Weel, I didnae really jump. Rather, I fell. I didnae think he would react in that way.” A continued surprise tinted Islaen's voice.
"A lass goes waving her body parts afore a mon and ‘tis just how he will act,” Meg said with hearty conviction.
Biting back a laugh over the image Meg's cross words invoked, Islaen said calmly, “I ken that now. He still weds me."
"So he should. Here, ye have washed enough.” Meg held out a drying cloth. “Do ye try to wash his touch away?"
"Nay,” Islaen said firmly as she stepped out of her bath. “I like his touch and I am nay ashamed to say so. There is something that troubles me and I speak of this expecting it to be kept the greatest of secrets atween us."
"Secret e'en from your fither?"
"Aye, sad to say, e'en from him."
"Aye then. Secret e'en from him."
"Do ye ken that Iain's first wife died in childbirth?” Meg nodded. “T'was a long, painful birth and the bairn died too. Iain has a fear of it now, a deep abiding fear. E'en though his brother's wife keeps having bairns and all is weel, Iain sees childbirth as a death sentence upon a woman. I cannae make him see elsewise. He willnae let me bear a bairn."
"How can he stop ye unless he keeps himself out o’ your bed. ‘Tis God's decision, not his."
"There is a way for him to stay in my bed yet not leave me with bairn—sponges."
"'Tis a sin,” Meg gasped.
"'Tis a sin to keep me from e'er having a bairn, aye, but I think the trick he speaks of could have its uses. ‘Tis not good for a woman to bear a bairn every year. Such a thing could give a woman time to grow strong again. I cannae help but think that my mither used them for we are all nearly or little more than two years apart. Seems too coincidental."
Meg frowned thoughtfully as she began to help Islaen dress. “Aye, I think ye may be right. If that is a sin, ‘tis a little one. Go on, child. I ken ye have more to say. Has he demanded that ye use such things?"
"Aye. In truth, he threatened to ne'er lie with me again an I refused. I couldnae abide that, Meg. Agree with me or nay as ye please but I mean to grasp for as full a marriage as I can. That cannae come an he and I dinnae e'en share a bed."
"Nay. Ye would soon grow to be mair strangers than ye are e'en now. Muckle a marriage is saved or lost in the bedchamber."
"So I thought, so I promised to use those things."
"Then ye mean to be barren, to ne'er hold a bairn o’ your own?” Meg asked, her shock and anger clear to hear in her voice and see in her face. “Ye would wither in sic a marriage."
"I ken it. I want bairns. I love them and dearly wish to hold my own. Truth, I think I would grow to hate Iain for denying me, yet I understand his fear. I lied, Meg. I looked him straight in the eye and lied."
Hearing the pain and guilt in Islaen's voice, Meg awkwardly patted her cheek. “'Tis nay sic a big sin, lass."
"'Tis not the way I mean to go in my marriage but I felt I had to do it. I will tell him the truth eventually. I mean to have my bairn, Meg, and, in doing so, I mean to put an end to Iain's fears. I tell ye all this for I may need your aid in this deception. Aye, especially an I get with bairn. I just pray that I dinnae add to his fears."
"Ye willnae. ‘Tis the way o’ the women in your family to be fruitful and nay suffer too much o'er it. Why maun ye keep the lie to yourself e'er ye get with bairn? Could ye nay tell him the truth once ye are sure?"
"Nay. He fears it, Meg. For a man to deny himself an heir, weel, he must fear it verra much. The longer I can keep my being with bairn a secret the less time he will have to fash himself o'er my fate. Once I am delivered of a healthy bairn and prove to him that not all women need die in childbirth, I will tell him of my lie. An I feel something amiss I will tell him for I willnae add to his guilt and pain."
"Och, lass, I think ye have a rough road ahead o'ye. Ye will have tae tread muckle carefully with nary a misstep."
"Aye, I ken it. I aim to cure yet I could make matters worse. Yet, I cannae feel that death upon a childbed is to be my fate. I cannae claim to have the sight, yet the feeling is strong that I will do as weel as me mither and me kin afore her. Do ye think ‘tis a false hope that I cling to? I really cannae risk being wrong."
"Ye are nay wrong."
"Good, ‘tis a shame that Iain hasnae any of his kin here,” she continued, “I should like to have met them ere I am made their kin. In truth, I dinnae e'en ken when I am to finally meet them. I ken little about the MacLagans. They are a small clan like ours, I think."
"I ken little mair than that. There is little bad that I have heard, which be good. I wouldnae fash yourself, lass."
Easier said than done, Islaen mused as Meg vigorously brushed her hair. Unless she somehow broke through the wall Iain had built around his heart she would be facing a lot of strangers more or less upon her own when they went to his home. She had rarely left her father's strong keep and certainly never without some of her seemingly vast family at her side. Only Meg would be with her at Caraidland. She decided she had best try to get Iain to tell her something about his family and Caraidland. Perhaps then she would not feel so lost when she arrived there. It might also give her enough knowledge to stop her from stepping wrong. Her bid to win Iain's affections could never be successful if she offended any of his kin, even through ignorance. Instinct told her that he was very close to his family.
When Meg was finished, Islaen reluctantly let the woman pull her towards a mirror, an item she felt there were far too many of at court. Warily she looked at herself. She strongly wished to look beautiful upon her wedding day and, with surprise widening her eyes, decided that Meg had come very close to fulfilling that wish. In fact, Islaen was not sure that anyone would recognize her but then she smiled. Her hair would give her away.
Glancing briefly at the bodice of her deep gold gown she wondered how she would look if her breasts were not bound, then grimaced. Iain may claim that her fullness did not truly bother him but she was far from ready to reveal her true figure to all. She was certain there would be far more stares than she would ever be able to tolerate. Islaen was glad that Iain felt it best if she waited until they went to Caraidland before she ceased to wear her binding. Looking closely, she suspected that Meg had not done her bindings as tightly as she usually did, however.
"Weel, ‘tis time to join the queen, lass. Do ye wish a bracing sip o’ wine first?” Meg asked gently and Islaen nodded.
After quickly downing the drink, Islaen took a deep, long breath in a further attempt to quell a sudden bout of nerves. “I cannae understand why I am all atremble. I have had my wedding night."
"Aye but soon ye truly leave the hame of your father, soon ye truly belong to Sir Iain MacLagan and no other."
"I just pray that he will let me belong to him."