Hannah

 

Hannah groaned under her breath and cradled her head in her hands, wishing the pounding within her brain would calm down already. She’d just gotten Alex to quiet down and go to sleep, and now she was trying to get there herself, but her body wouldn’t allow it.

 

Maybe it’s punishment for being such a bitch to Evan, she thought to herself. But she was right, wasn’t she? Killing Salvatore wouldn’t solve anything. It would just make things more complicated. But at the same time, he had a point. She knew Salvatore well enough to know that he was too fucking stubborn to just let go of her. Hannah smashed her face into the nearest pillow, muffling the frustrated noises that left her mouth when she thought of the fight she’d had with Evan.

 

Why does it bother me so much? Hannah wondered. I hate Salvatore. Salvatore hates me. Salvatore wants to steal my child and raise him to be a monster. Why can’t I just let him die? She had no love or warmth or compassion of any kind left for the man, not after he’d hit her child. So what was the big problem? What kind of mother was she, really, if she wasn’t willing to murder for her son?

 

Even after staring out in space for several long minutes, she couldn’t get the guilt and the anger and the confusion in her mind to calm down, but she began to get used to it enough that she started nodding off into sleep, intermittently jerking awake and looking around to make sure Alex was still safe. After a while, her eyes became too heavy to keep open, and she finally succumbed to the sweet relief of sleep.

 

***

 

Hannah woke with a start, immediately sitting up in bed as thunder crashed around her. Goddammit. She couldn’t tell if an hour had passed, or only a few minutes since she’d fallen asleep. Either way, there was no way she was getting back to sleep now. Ever since she was a little kid, she’d been terrified of storms.

 

“Great, just fucking great,” she muttered to herself as she swung her legs over the side of the bed to check on Alex. “Exactly what I needed.” At least Alex was still asleep, looking as peaceful as ever even as lightning lit up the window behind him.

 

Hannah needed to walk around, to move her body. If she stayed cooped up in the bedroom, she was going to lose her mind. That was the thing about storms. You’re stuck in the house, and there’s no way to get out. I’m stuck in this house no matter what, she reminded herself. But she needed to lie to herself, to trick her body into thinking she had control in this situation. Otherwise she’d just lose her mind entirely.

 

Alex seemed calm enough, so she walked out of the bedroom, leaving the door open so she could hear in case he woke up and needed her. It only occurred to her just as she was walking back into the main room that she was going to have to face Evan again after their awkward argument. Oh, well. We’re stuck with each other, aren’t we? Hannah thought.

 

Evan was still sitting by the fireplace, but now it was lit up with life, fire roaring inside in the wood the cabin’s owners had left behind. “Hey,” Hannah said, getting him to turn around to face her. She honestly expected him to scowl at her, but Evan gave her a half-smile instead, so she figured it was safe to sit down next to him.

 

“What are you doing still up?” he asked as she settled down next to the fire.

 

Hannah reached her hands out closer to the flames, letting the heat lick her hands. “I…um…” She trailed off, uncertain if she should be honest with him about her vulnerability. Ah, fuck it. What do I have to lose? “I’m scared of storms.”

 

“Really?” Evan said, and he sounded legitimately surprised. Hannah felt herself blush a little in response, so she turned to face the fire more directly, hoping he couldn’t read how embarrassed she was on her face. “Aren’t you a little…”

 

“Old for that?” Hannah suggested. “Yeah, I am.”

 

“No, I wasn’t going to say that,” Evan said. “It’s just…you’re so tough, you know? It’s weird for me to think you’re scared of anything.”

 

Hannah laughed, feeling herself calm down more as the fire warmed her body. The crackling of the logs was almost loud enough to cover up the sound of the thunder outside. “I’m scared of a ton of shit. I thought our conversation earlier made that pretty clear.”

 

Out of the corner of her eye, she saw Evan shake his head. “No, I didn’t think of it that way.”

 

Hannah reached up and ran her fingers through her hair. It calmed her down sometimes, feeling nails scratch against her scalp. If only she had someone else to do it for her, she thought wistfully. But those days were over.

 

“I don’t know,” she finally said in reply to Evan. “What’d you think then, that I’m some kind of murder-prude?” Hannah laughed a little at that, picturing herself as a nun ranting about the sins of the flesh.

 

She felt more than saw Evan shrug. Somehow by gradually shifting closer to the fire she’d closed the space between their bodies. They were almost touching, and she felt like she could feel waves of energy coming off of his skin. “It’s not like that,” Evan said. “You’re just…you’re just a good person. That’s all.”

 

Hannah shook her head. “I’m really not.”

 

“How can you say that?” Evan asked, sounding legitimately curious.

 

She sighed deeply and fell silent a moment, focusing on the sweet crackling noises of the fire and watching as the wood of the logs transformed into beautiful red sparks. She wished something like that could happen to her, that by walking through the fire she could become something warm, something burning strong. But it didn’t work that way. You walk through fire and you come out as ash, she thought. Salvatore burned away the best of me and I’m all that’s left now, just a shell.

 

“I stayed with him, you know. Much, much longer than I should have,” she finally said after her long pause. “I could have run away years ago, when he started beating on me. But I didn’t. There’s got to be a reason for that.”

 

“You were scared,” Evan said, as if that explained everything.

 

“I was a pussy,” Hannah said, her voice hard and brittle. “I could have done so much more, but I didn’t do it. Because it was easier not to. Because…because I didn’t want to go back to being poor. Because I thought, okay, if it takes getting beaten around to have food on the table all the time, to not have to steal to survive ever again, then I can put up with it. That’s honestly what I thought. Isn’t that fucking disgusting?”

 

“No,” Evan said. “It’s not disgusting. It’s normal. You grew up hungry, right?”

 

Hannah just nodded.

 

“All of us are fucked up because of our childhoods. I mean, look at me. Boo-hoo, my dad left me on Christmas. Get the fuck over it, right?”

 

“No, that’s not fair,” Hannah said softly.

 

“So then why is it fair to expect the same out of you?” Evan shot back.

 

“Because…because I just…I just fucked everything up more by staying,” Hannah said. “At least when I got pregnant, I should have run. Maybe then Salvatore would’ve just let me go, you know, especially if I ran before he found out. I could have just gone away and raised Alex by myself. But I didn’t. I stayed because I was scared. I was a weak little wimp and now Alex has to pay the price.”

 

“That’s not true—” Evan tried to argue, but Hannah cut in before he could continue.

 

“Isn’t it? Alex only got hit because I didn’t run away fast enough. Because I was afraid of Salvatore. And I’m still afraid of him. I’m still letting him tell me what to do, even now. That’s why I can’t let you kill him, because that weak motherfucker still has control over me. Isn’t that pathetic?”

 

Evan reached out and grabbed Hannah’s chin, making her turn her face to look him directly in the eyes. His face was serious, his mouth set in a hard line. “No. Hannah, no. That’s not true.”

 

Hannah felt the hairs on the back of her neck stand at attention, but she didn’t know why. Am I scared? I don’t feel scared, she thought to herself. What’s going on?

 

“You’re not weak. You’re not a pussy,” Evan said, his hand drifting down from her chin to the side of her neck, causing all of the goosebumps there to prickle up. “You did the smart thing, okay? It was smart. Salvatore would have gone after you no matter what. That’s just the type of man he is. He would have punished you for leaving him because he can’t stand the idea that he doesn’t control everything on the face of the planet. He can’t stand the truth.”

 

“What’s the truth?” Hannah whispered. She didn’t have enough breath in her lungs to speak any louder than that.

 

“The truth is he’s weak, and you’re strong. But you’re also smart. You’re so, so smart for waiting until you did. You took the opportunity when you had it, when you knew you had no other choice. You were brave, Hannah.” She tried to shake her head at him, but Evan wouldn’t let her, holding her still by the neck, gently. “You’re strong. You’re brave. You’re a hero. You saved your son. You saved him, Hannah.”

 

“I didn’t, I didn’t—” Hannah cut herself off, dropping her gaze down to the floor. She knew that if she kept speaking she would cry, and that was unacceptable.

 

“You did,” Evan argued back. “You took him out of hell. You’re so heroic, Hannah. You’re the best mother imaginable.”

 

She couldn’t fight it anymore. Tears pooled into her eyes, threatening to immediately spill out onto her face. Evan must have seen it, as his hand traveled back up to her face, waiting to catch the first tear that fell, and then the second, and then the third. “You’re so brave, baby,” he whispered hoarsely.

 

She realized now why her hairs were standing up, why she was sweating lightly, why her breathing had quickened. She wanted him. She wanted Evan. In every sense of the word.

 

The thunder crashed again, and Hannah jumped, her body involuntarily leaping an inch into the air. Evan wrapped his arms around her, keeping her in place. His face was so close; she could feel his breathing hit her face.

 

It had been so long since she was touched like this. Salvatore never touched her affectionately. She only felt the contact of a man when he was fucking her or hitting her. Even in the early days of their relationship, he’d never been gentle. He’d never been soft, like Evan was being now, stroking her hair.

 

“I’m scared,” Hannah whispered.

 

“I know,” Evan said back in a low voice, and Hannah wondered if he really knew what she meant. I’m scared of you. I’m scared of wanting you. I don’t know what this means, she thought silently.

 

“Come over to the couch with me,” Evan said, bringing them both off the floor, to their feet, and walking over to the couch where a blanket awaited them.

 

Evan lifted the blanket up so Hannah could sit down and then draped it over her before getting under it himself, their thighs and calves touching each other. He returned his hand to her face, using the other one to rub the back of her neck. “You’re beautiful, you know,” he murmured.

 

“Not anymore,” Hannah whispered, tears slipping down her face faster now. “Not now,” she said with a laugh, gesturing to her tear-splotched face.

 

“Especially now,” Evan said, leaning in to brush his lips against the newest tear on her cheek. He dragged his mouth over her skin, making every nerve ending on her face cry out in relief. This is what she wanted. This is what she needed. And for once, she realized, she was sick of denying herself.

 

Hannah crashed into him, her entire body melting with his just as her mouth latched onto his lips, sucking as hard as she could. She felt like she was inhaling his skin into her body, like she needed his flesh to survive. In the back of her mind, some little voice was asking: What am I doing? But she just couldn’t bring herself to care, not when Evan’s skin tasted so sweet. Hannah rubbed her hands all the way up and down his torso before going underneath his shirt, massaging his cold skin with her fingertips.

 

“Jesus,” Evan muttered against her mouth, tangling his hand into her hair.

 

“Too much?” Hannah asked, but she immediately dove back onto his mouth, licking and biting at his lips, before he could answer. He laughed into her mouth, rubbing her scalp gently, dragging his nails down to her neck.

 

Hannah squealed lightly as Evan’s tongue slipped into her mouth, massaging her tongue gently. He finally pulled back, panting furiously, and rubbed the side of her face with his hand, kneading deep circles into her skin. “Not too much,” he said between huge breaths. “Not enough.” He grinned at her and leaned in again, but this time he abandoned her mouth and licked his way down her neck, stopping at her collarbone to nick her skin with his teeth.

 

“God, god, oh, god,” Hannah exhaled heavily, arching up into his mouth. Evan’s other hand snaked around her body, finding the hem of her shirt. “Shit, shit, god,” Hannah panted, overwhelmed by the sensation of having her lower back touched for the first time in years.

 

“Is this okay?” Evan asked, pulling his mouth up off of her skin. Hannah whined at the loss of contact and forced her shoulders up to recapture his mouth with her skin. But Evan didn’t bite down or lick her again, staring at her expectantly for her answer.

 

“It’s okay. It’s really, really, really okay,” Hannah rushed to say. “Now, kiss me, please, please, kiss me.”

 

Evan immediately complied, smashing his face into hers, his lips sucking on hers, his tongue massaging her tongue. Goddammit, Hannah had never felt this uninhibited, this free, in her entire life. She tangled her legs around his, wrapping them around his waist. She grinded into his crotch, their clothed genitals rubbing together. “Mm,” Hannah murmured, biting onto Evan’s chin, sucking lightly.

 

Evan’s hand lowered to Hannah’s leg, dragging his nails over her thigh. Hannah cried out in response, arching up into his touch. She wanted more of his hand, more of his mouth, more of his body in general. She reached up and wrapped her arm around his neck, tugging him down so there was no more space between their bodies.

 

Hannah’s skin felt like it was on fire, like every last one of her nerve endings was screaming in pleasure. But at the same time, she felt scared. It had been so long since she’d done this. She couldn’t help but swallow heavily in between the long, sweet kisses of Evan’s lips. She hoped it would go unnoticed, but his face immediately changed, his brow furrowing and his eyes becoming sharp and focused as he stroked the side of her face. “What’s wrong?”

 

“Nothing,” Hannah rushed to say, leaning up to kiss his lips softly and pushing gently at the back of his head to encourage him to reciprocate. But Evan held himself back, staring down at her expectantly instead of leaning in to kiss her. Hannah sighed deeply and felt herself deflate against the couch cushion. “It’s just…I don’t want to disappoint you.”

 

Her heart started pounding in her ears, this time out of anxiety rather than excitement, and she shut her eyes again, afraid to see the expression on Evan’s face. For some reason, she was afraid that he was going to laugh at her, or that her nervousness was a turn-off that would make him get off of her and pretend the whole thing had never happened.

 

But instead, she felt his thumb start circling over her cheek, while his other hand soothingly rubbed up and down her leg. “You couldn’t disappoint me. There’s no way.”

 

Hannah shook her head, keeping her eyes shut. “I could surprise you. I’m good at that,” she said with a bitter laugh.

 

“You are, but you’re good at a lot of things. I’m willing to bet this is one of them,” Evan whispered, leaning in to skim his teeth and lips along the edge of her jaw, causing more and more goosebumps to stand up.

 

“It’s just been a long time…since anyone has touched me nicely,” Hannah said in a low, shaky voice. “It’s hard to know what to do with it. I don’t know how to…. perform.” Her face and neck flushed, probably staining a deep red, but as long as she kept her eyes shut she could pretend that she wasn’t blushing like a little schoolgirl.

 

“How about you don’t perform then?” Evan whispered. “How about you just let me take care of you?”

 

That made her open her eyes, and the sight of Evan’s beautiful, open, honest face made her shiver in his arms. “I can’t—I gotta, you know…” She trailed off embarrassingly, but at least she kept her eyes open this time.

 

“Why?” Evan asked her, his hand slipping down from the side of her face down to her neck and collarbone, rubbing little circles into the exposed skin of her shoulder around the edge of her shirt collar. “Why not just let me do my thing, show you what I’ve got?” He leaned in to whisper into her ear, his breath setting nerve endings alight with a sensation that was almost too much to take. “I bet we’ll both have a lot of fun.”

 

Hannah shivered again, this time from the top of her head down to the bottom of her feet, practically convulsing in Evan’s arms. “Jesus,” she muttered, bending her neck back to give him more space as he began kissing his way up and down the path from her earlobe to her collarbone. “Jesus Christ.”

 

“Yeah, baby,” Evan whispered just before licking a long hot strip down the center of her neck. “Yeah, just relax for me.”

 

Hannah did as instructed, as best as she could anyway, mentally ordering all of her muscles to unclench and sink into the couch, sink into Evan’s blistering touch. There was something about being called “baby” that made her entire brain tingle with heat. She almost couldn’t believe how safe it made her feel, being taken care of by someone so dangerous.

 

But she ordered herself not to question it. Don’t ruin this for yourself, she said internally. Just enjoy it. You might not get another chance if— But she stopped short before she finished that sentence and forced herself not to think of Salvatore. Not at a time like this. Not when she was enjoying herself for once. If she let him into her mind again, he’d win, and that was entirely fucking unsatisfactory.

 

Evan’s teeth came out to play at her neck, sucking lightly at first, just at the juncture of her collarbone. “Oh…uh…damn,” Hannah whispered, low enough that Evan might not have been able to hear it, but goddammit, she had to say something. It just felt so good, being touched gently, but with an edge of pain just waiting on the other side. She reached up and tangled her hand into Evan’s hair again, pushing him down harder onto her neck. “Bite me,” she grunted out, bending her neck back to give him more space.

 

Evan laughed lightly and did as he was told, digging his teeth into her skin more firmly before using his lips to suck on the sensitive spot and then applying his tongue to soothe her skin. “You like that?” he asked in a low, gravelly voice. Hannah felt sparks ride up her spine at the sound of his voice and thrusted against him without even thinking about it, shoving her hips up against his. “I’ll take that as a yes,” Evan said with a little laugh, dragging his nails up her leg, digging into the fabric of her jeans. “These need to come off.”

 

Hannah swallowed a little to clear her throat and steady herself. “Um, okay,” she said, but her voice was uncertain.

 

Evan stared down at her for a second without saying anything, his eyes intense and focused as they searched her face. “Are you not okay with that? They can stay on if you want.”

 

“They might get in the way,” Hannah said with a laugh, and Evan smiled down at her, his eyes twinkling warmly, and that made her feel a little more secure, a little safer to tell the truth. “Again, I just…it’s stupid,” she said, giggling a little nervously. “But, um, I’ve got mom thighs, you know what I mean.”

 

Evan’s eyes tore themselves away from her face and dropped down to stare at her legs, rubbing the side of her thighs. Hannah felt her skin prickle with anxiety, watching him take her in and judge her body. She waited with bated breath as he felt her up with his hand, kneading her skin and muscle with his fingers. “Fucking beautiful,” he murmured a minute later, baring his teeth a little and growling under his breath as he squeezed her thigh more firmly.

 

“Really?” Hannah asked without meaning to. Words and sounds were leaving her mouth without her permission, but she couldn’t even blame herself. Evan was pulling them out of her so easily, his hands and mouth and eyes completely undoing her armor, taking her out of her shell.

 

“Yes, really,” Evan said in an incredulous tone of voice, like he couldn’t even believe that she was asking the question. “So fucking beautiful. I can’t wait to get you out of these clothes.”

 

Hannah’s chest started heaving furiously, huge panting breaths leaving her mouth as Evan traveled down her body, stopping at the hem of her pants. He pushed up her shirt an inch or two to expose her skin and then leaned in to kiss and lick and bite teasingly at the flesh just above her jeans. Evan sucked the skin below her belly button into his mouth, pulling so hard that he probably left a mark, while his fingers came up to scratch gently on her hipbones. Hannah exhaled in huge puffs of air. She was starting to feel like her ribcage was too small for her body, that she was using so much air that her lungs couldn’t contain it all. But she needed more. Hannah arched her hips up, wanting more of his mouth on her skin.

 

“Mm? You want it, baby?” Evan asked her, his teeth sliding sharply along the skin just outside of her jeans, making her cry out in surprise and pleasure.

 

“I do,” Hannah replied breathlessly, bringing one hand up to wipe the beads of sweat off her forehead. “I really, really fucking do, dammit,” she murmured, words spilling out of her involuntarily.

 

Evan pulled his mouth off of her skin, and Hannah whined highly to complain, but then he lowered his mouth back down, this time wrapping around the button on her jeans and pulling it up so that the fabric of her pants lifted off her hips. “Oh,” Hannah whispered, spreading her legs apart to give him more space.

 

One of Evan’s hands traveled down from her hips to the side of her legs, finally slipping under her thighs and then squeezing her covered ass. “Mmm,” Evan murmured before fastening his mouth around the zipper of her jeans and tugging it downward.

 

“You like my ass?” Hannah asked between long panting breaths. She wasn’t trying to tease him. It was an honest question.

 

“Love it,” Evan shot back, digging his fingers in harder to squeeze it more firmly. Then his mouth moved back up to her button, struggling to undo it for a long moment. Evan groaned lightly in frustration, and Hannah laughed a little and tried to reach down to undo the button herself, but Evan just kissed the top of her hand and nudged it away with his nose before returning to his work, tugging at the button until it finally popped free. Evan lifted his head back up to the hem of her jeans, wrapping his mouth around the fabric and pulling it down to expose her underwear and thighs. Hannah lifted her hips and legs up to help him tug the jeans down, leaving her in her panties and shirt.

 

“Gorgeous,” Evan muttered, his tongue sliding along the space between her naked, shivering thighs.

 

“Thank you,” Hannah murmured softly in response, spreading her thighs apart to welcome more of his tongue onto her skin.

 

He licked his way down to her knees, setting her nerve endings on fire as his teeth came out to play, roughly rubbing the edges of her kneecaps. Evan then moved down, biting his way along her calves, switching from one leg to another then back to the first again.

 

“Suck me,” Hannah demanded, her voice becoming firmer and more confident. Evan seemed to like it, chuckling lowly into her skin before he began doing as he was told, dragging her skin in between his teeth. It hurt a little, being squeezed that way, but Hannah wanted more of it. She wanted all of his mouth. She wanted him to consume her, bite into every inch of her body.

 

Evan kept sucking little circles into her skin, going down, down, down to her feet. He paused at her ankles, sucking the hard bone into his mouth and swirling his tongue around in thick wet circles. Hannah groaned and squirmed around on the couch. She’d never been touched this way before. Who knew that her feet were so sensitive and raw, that they begged to be touched?

 

Even the lightest little bite made her squeal under her breath and lift her hips up off the couch, but she wanted more, she wanted it harder and harder. Evan seemed to sense her desires, because he started sucking more of her skin into his mouth as he traveled his way down to her toes. He started with the pinky toe, wrapping his tongue around it and sucking gently, then harder and harder as Hannah moaned. Then he moved onto the next toe, and the next, and the next, before bending her foot upward to get at the skin of her sole.

 

“Unnh, please, please, baby,” Hannah whispered, shifting her hips around in wide circles as the hyper-sensitive nerves of her feet were stimulated so sweetly by his tongue. She could feel herself get wetter and wetter in between her legs, and she was still only half naked, dripping inside her underwear.

 

“Yeah?” Evan grunted in between tiny little sharp bites of her foot that had her squealing and squirming under him. “You fucking want it?”

 

“I do, I really want it, please, please, give it to me,” Hannah said in a rush, knocking her head back into the couch cushion, feeling herself flush a deep red as Evan began climbing back up her body.

 

“You’re such a good girl,” Evan whispered, taking her head into his hands and pressing their sweaty foreheads together. “You deserve everything. You know that? Everything.”

 

Hannah shivered again, lightly this time, and she clutched at Evan’s arms to steady herself, digging her nails into his bare upper arms. “Please. Please give it to me,” she said again, reaching up to lightly peck his lips.

 

“Yeah, baby, I’m gonna give it to you,” Evan promised, pressing her back down into the couch with his weight and slipping his tongue gently into her mouth. “I’m gonna give it to you.”

 

She rubbed the back of his neck and stuck her hand down the back of his shirt, trying to get at his bare skin. She’d never touched him like this before. The most she’d ever touched him before was when she was tying him up, and she hadn’t appreciated his form when that happened.

 

His back muscles were firm and defined. Hannah dug her nails into his skin, wanting to release all of the tension of his muscles. She wanted him to sink deep into her body, give up all of his energy, all of the pain he’d been carrying around for God knows how many years. Give it to me, she thought silently, and she knew now that she meant more than just fucking. She wanted him to relax, too. She wanted him to surrender to her. I can handle it, she thought. I can take whatever you are, whatever pain you’ve got, I can handle it.

 

Hannah clutched hard onto his back and pushed upward, switching their positions as fluidly as possible as she straddled his body, sitting on top of his waist. Evan panted heavily as he stared up at her, fiery desire apparent in his eyes as he surveyed her body from this new angle. Hannah ran her hands over his clothed chest and reached up to his hands, pressing them down into the fabric of the couch.

 

She just held him still for a minute, curious to see if he would obey her. To her surprise, he didn’t budge and just stared up at her patiently, gripping her hands back firmly but rubbing gentle circles into the back of her hands with his thumbs. Hannah grinned down at him and leaned down to kiss the top of his nose, moving over to his cheek, his jaw, his other cheek, his chin. She wanted to cover him with kisses. She wanted to mark him up as hers.

 

“I’m ahead of you,” Hannah said, pulling one hand away from his to gesture to her naked legs. “That’s not fair.”

 

“Oh, yeah,” Evan said, a slow smile spreading across his face. “You gotta fix that, huh?”

 

Hannah nodded. “Mm-hmm,” she murmured, leaning down again to kiss his forehead and the top of his hair. “I want to see you. Will you let me?”

 

Evan grinned wider and bit his lip seductively. “I might be amenable to that,” he said, pushing his hips up to thrust his pelvis into hers, brushing his jeans against the exposed skin on either side of her underwear.

 

Hannah groaned a little at the friction and leaned down to suck Evan’s lips into her mouth, massaging them with her tongue. She was learning things about herself. She liked being in control, just as much as she liked being taken care of. It was nice feeling Evan vibrate underneath her, all of his body perfectly ripe for the picking.

 

“You’re so fucking hot,” she murmured against his mouth, going down to lick and bite at his chin and then down to his neck, while her hands fumbled with the buttons on his jeans. She finally succeeded in undoing them a few seconds later, but that felt like an eternity at this rate, so she hurriedly yanked down his pants, traveling down his body to pull them off his feet and throwing them onto the floor next to hers.

 

Without thinking, she growled a little as she surveyed his thick, muscular legs, running her hands over them to feel the sweet little hairs that lined his thighs and calves. She’d never been with someone so manly before, someone with so many strong and powerful muscles. A little shiver ran up her spine as she wondered what they could do to her in bed. Hannah bent over and ran her tongue along the space between his thighs, stopping short at his boxers. She didn’t want to get him too excited too quickly, even if he did groan in impatience above her. “I’ll get there,” she promised softly. “Don’t worry.”

 

Evan reached down and threaded his fingers through her hair, rubbing her scalp gently. “You got it, baby. You do whatever you want, okay? Nothing’s off limits.”

 

Hannah nodded, even if she didn’t exactly believe it. She had to think that there was a way she could fuck this up, but even still, she was willing to follow her heart right now, somehow aware that whatever she did, Evan wasn’t going to make fun of her. She started by raking her nails down his legs, watching with joy as goosebumps stood up in response. Then she rubbed more firmly, using the tips of her fingers to really dig into his muscles. “So gorgeous,” she muttered, more to herself than to Evan as she slipped her hands over his knees and went down to his calves, leaning in with her mouth to lick lightly at his skin, just enough to get him squirming underneath her.

 

Evan’s grip in her hair grew firmer and firmer the more she went along, licking and biting her way up and down, up and down, up and down his legs. She paused at the thick meaty flesh of his upper thighs, sucking his skin as hard as she could between her teeth, biting down to leave a mark. When she pulled back, the light of the fire showed the results of her handiwork: a magenta circle right where her mouth had been, just below the juncture of his pelvis and his thigh.

 

But it wasn’t enough. She wanted more.

 

Hannah gestured for Evan to sit up, and she wasted no time getting him out of his shirt, throwing it on the floor. She didn’t want to rush at all, but she was just so damn hungry for him. She immediately latched her mouth onto his collarbone, sucking to leave a deep purple mark in her wake before traveling down to his nipples and gently taking them into her mouth, one at a time. Evan groaned out louder than before and clutched the back of her head firmly, pushing her deeper into his skin. Hannah loved it. She couldn’t stop smiling around his skin, enjoying how obvious it was that he wanted her so badly. It was addictive, tasting the sweat from his skin and hearing the little grunts and moans that left his mouth.

 

She wrapped her legs around his waist tightly, their underwear rubbing together as Evan started to thrust lightly. Hannah kept her arms around his shoulders, pushing their bodies as close together as possible as she kept licking and biting all over his torso. But she wasn’t prepared for Evan to start returning the favor immediately, latching onto her neck with his mouth and sucking harder than before. Hannah squealed, probably too loudly right into Evan’s ear, and bounced lightly in his lap, grinding down onto his clothed dick.

 

She could tell that it was so hard already. Hannah wondered if he was leaking as much as she was. She was so wet it was probably staining her underwear, and Evan could likely feel it even through the two layers of cloth, but she couldn’t bring herself to be embarrassed. Not now, not when Evan was licking and biting at her skin like it was the Holy Communion.

 

“Give it to me, give it to me, please, please, I need it, baby, please, please,” Hannah begged, sucking Evan’s ear right into her mouth just before he bit down on her chin and sucked lightly, teasing her with his tongue. “Please, Evan, please.”

 

Evan wrapped his arms around Hannah’s waist and started shoving her up and down, bouncing her on his clothed cock. Hannah’s clit had started pulsing inside her underwear, her heartbeat throbbing between her lower lips like a drumbeat. She followed the rhythm that Evan had set with his arms and hips, thrusting as hard as she could down onto him. “Oh, unnh, oh,” she moaned, sighing deeply as her head collapsed onto Evan’s shoulder. “Yeaaah, that’s good, that’s fucking good.”

 

“Yeah, baby, yeah, darling, just take it,” Evan murmured into her ear before sucking the lobe into his mouth, making Hannah squeal so loudly she froze for a second, terrified that she’d woken Alex with her noises, but the baby was apparently still asleep in the other room, so she sighed heavily, desperately sucking air into her chest as Evan kept bouncing her onto his lap and sucking harder onto her ear.

 

Hannah readjusted in Evan’s lap, getting the angle just right so that on every down-stroke the covered head of Evan’s cock brushed against the top of her concealed vulva, stimulating her clitoris. She felt herself get hotter and hotter between her legs, something starting to build there that she’d never felt before.

 

Evan dug his nails into her shirt and growled like an animal, a deeper noise than she’d ever heard a man make, right before he tore her shirt over her head and tossed it aside, leaving her in her bra and panties. He groaned at the sight of her breasts bouncing up and down and wrapped a hand around one of them, squeezing lightly. “I want to see your nipples,” Evan grunted, thrusting his hips up harder. “I really want to see them.”

 

Hannah moaned, lost for words for a moment before she noticed Evan staring up at her with an unspoken question in his eyes. Oh, he’s asking for permission, she realized. Hannah took one hand away from Evan’s body to pull her bra straps down, tugging them off her shoulders so that more of her cleavage was revealed. But not everything. He’d have to work for that, she decided.

 

“Make me feel good,” she whispered, reaching forward again to kiss the side of Evan’s face, “and I’ll think about letting you.”

 

Evan laughed breathlessly, slipping his tongue along the throbbing vein of her neck and raking his nails down her exposed back. “Mm, I’ll work for it, baby,” he said before leaning in to kiss her on the mouth. “Whatever you want.”

 

“Bounce me harder,” Hannah ordered him, going still in his lap for a moment just to tease him.

 

Evan growled again and wrapped his arms more tightly around her back, pushing her up and down faster than before. Hannah threw her head back in pleasure, exposing more flesh of her neck for Evan to bite and lick and nibble gently. She started shoving her hips up and down again, matching the pace that Evan had set with his arms. His cock started to feel even harder than before, if that was possible, and it felt good to have it brush up against her covered lips.

 

God, I should feel so dirty, so bad, so guilty, Hannah thought. But I don’t. She felt strong, she felt beautiful, even sweating as profusely as she was in Evan’s arms. She felt gorgeous. She felt powerful.

 

The area around her clitoris was being pushed up and down, back and forth, faster than before, and it grew hotter, her hole getting wetter and wider with every twitch of their hips. Hannah could feel all of her nerve endings start to burn almost painfully with the power of Evan’s thrusts. God, what would it be like to have him actually fuck her? He was so strong, so thick, so big. The mere thought of it had Hannah dripping more in her panties, getting them so wet that there was no way Evan hadn’t noticed by now.

 

“You getting hot for me, baby? You getting ready?” Evan asked, leaning to lick a hot strip down from her ear to the top of her breasts.

 

“Yes, yes, mmm, yes, I am,” Hannah said in a rush, bouncing as fast as she could. “You’re so good to me. God, you’re so good…”

 

“I want you to come, Hannah,” he whispered before biting the skin above one of her breasts. “I want you to come for me. Can you do that, darling?”

 

Hannah felt herself go cold from the top of her head to the bottom of her feet, all of her nerve endings switching off at once. She kept bouncing, trying to get them to turn back on, but she was suddenly hyper conscious of how much she was sweating, how red and blotchy she must have looked. “I, um, I—” She cut herself off and shook her head, unsure of what she was even trying to say.

 

Evan stopped thrusting and bouncing her up and down and wrapped a hand around her neck, forcing her to look him in the eyes. “What’s wrong?”

 

“I just…I, um, I don’t really do that,” she said with a shrug, trying to sound as natural as possible. “Come, I mean.”

 

“You don’t…you don’t have orgasms?” Evan asked, his brow furrowed and his mouth dropping open, as if he was shocked and confused all at once.

 

Hannah shrugged again but nodded. “Yeah, that’s just…that’s just not something I do,” she said, her tone forcibly casual even though she felt a distinct heaviness and heat start pressing behind her eyes. Oh, God, not now, she thought. I am not going to fucking cry again like a little bitch. Now’s not the time for that. She had to avert her eyes from Evan’s wide-open curious face, looking over his shoulder instead to focus on the fire.

 

They were silent for a long moment, and Hannah wondered whether she should just climb off of Evan’s lap and start to put her clothes back on, but he cut off that train of thought when he spoke again. “Do you want to?”

 

Hannah was confused, and she was tempted to look back to him to see if there were any clues to what he meant written on his face, but she held herself back, focusing on the still-roaring fire instead. “Do I want to what?” she asked.

 

“Come. Have an orgasm,” Evan said, and that made her look back at him, wanting to see if he was laughing at her. But his face was dead serious, his eyes wide and open and vulnerable as he stared up at her. One of his hands started to trace its way up and down her bare back, lightly drawing long lines and circles into her skin. “Do you want to?”

 

“I—that’s—” Hannah cut herself off, frustrated. “I don’t know. Of course, right? Of course I want to.”

 

Evan bit down on his bottom lip, clearly thinking. “So why don’t we try?” he suggested.

 

“Because…because it’s not going to happen,” Hannah said, trying to keep her voice steady even though she honestly felt like screaming at him a little bit. “Because you’ll just be disappointed if you get your hopes up.”

 

“Me?” Evan asked incredulously. “I’m not going to be disappointed. It’s about you, baby,” he said, bringing one hand around to start tracing the same soothing lines down the front of her body.

 

“You will,” Hannah said softly. “You will be disappointed. Trust me. I just—I just don’t want to let you down, okay? Don’t want you to have unreasonable expectations, you know? That’s all.”

 

He was quiet a moment, but when Hannah moved to get off his lap he tightened his arms around her and spoke again. “Maybe it just never happened because you never had the right partner,” Evan said. “Have you ever thought about that?”

 

“No, I—I doubt it,” Hannah stuttered out, feeling herself start sweating profusely from the back of her neck, but she stayed still in his arms. She didn’t really want to abandon this warmth anyway. It was comforting, even if inside all of her organs were trembling like she’d just been shot. “See, I’m just…I’m just broken. That’s all it is. Really. I’m broken.”

 

Evan shook his head, and she expected him to start arguing with her again, but instead he set his jaw and leaned in close to her face, so close their breath mingled. He didn’t kiss her, though. This time he just stared as deeply into her eyes and stroked the side of her face. “Let me try to put you back together then,” he whispered seconds later, pressing his mouth against her forehead. “It’s okay if you don’t, but just let me try.”

 

Hannah’s hands were shaking furiously, each cell of her skin vibrating so hard she could barely get a sold grip on Evan’s arm as he pushed his weight down on her, pressing her down onto the couch, switching positions back again. “Let me try,” he repeated, kissing the side of her neck and sending a spark of heat down in between her legs at the sensation of his breath hitting her sensitive skin.

 

In her mind, a thousand counterarguments rose up, ready for the occasion. No, I’m broken, I don’t work right, I’ve never worked right, I’ve never been able to relax, I’ve never been able to trust, I’ve never been able to just lay back and let sensation wash over me. Why would any of that suddenly change now?

 

But she didn’t say them. Instead she just swallowed them deep inside and licked her lips, shutting her eyes as Evan began kissing his way down her body again. Ah, well, what the hell? Hannah thought. Let him be disappointed if he insists on trying it out. But deeper inside her mind, there was another voice, low and soft and fragile, that thought, Maybe this time. Maybe.

 

His mouth lingered over her breasts, biting the thick flesh above her bra but never pushing it aside. He must have remembered his promise from before that he was going to make her feel good first before slipping it off and exposing her nipples. Hannah smiled a little at that. Who would have guessed? He was a man of his word.

 

Evan mouthed over the bra for a minute, making her nipple harden through the cloth, but after a minute he pulled away and pressed his wet open mouth against her ribcage, licking along the outlines of her bones. “Ahhh,” Hannah sighed deeply, filling up her lungs and then letting it all go, allowing her muscles to relax along with it. His hands came up on either side of her torso, rubbing her waist and hips while his mouth licked and bit and sucked along the center of her chest.

 

“You taste so good,” Evan murmured, dragging his teeth down to her belly button and rubbing his tongue around in small, tight circles. Hannah felt chills go up her spine and arched her hips up to get more of his mouth on her skin. Evan moved a little to the left and found a spot next to her hipbone that made her seize up, giving off a choked moan as her hips froze in mid-air. “You like that?” Evan asked.

 

“I—I think so,” Hannah said between long, drawn-out breaths. “It’s just…intense, you know?” Who knew that there were all of these sensitive, ticklish spots on her body? Somehow Evan had a mental map of all the places to touch and grab and squeeze, just right, just enough to make her sweat even more.

 

“Let me know if you need me to stop,” Evan whispered before flattening his tongue against her stomach, dragging it around in precise circles. But he didn’t stay there long before continuing his journey south, down to the hem of her underwear. Hannah exhaled shakily and shut her eyes tightly, trying to keep herself calm as his teeth began to nip at the skin just under the fabric.

 

Her blood was pumping so fast and so hard in her veins, it almost hurt. But she didn’t want it to stop. She felt like she was levitating, lifting off of the couch and floating above the earth. Evan growled a little and took a huge chunk of her underwear between his teeth, lifting it off of her body. “Jesus Christ,” Hannah murmured, her legs spreading a little more without her even having to think about it. “Please.”

 

“What?” Evan demanded, his voice a little muffled with the fabric still in his mouth. “What do you want, baby?”

 

“Do something to me, please, touch me, please, I need it, it’s been so long, please,” she cried out, sounding pitifully desperate as she begged. But it worked, for Evan put the underwear down and brought out his tongue instead, slipping it underneath her panties until he was brushing up against the skin right above her clitoral hood. “Yes, yes, yes, thank you, yes,” Hannah whispered, throwing her head back against the pillow again and breathing hard.

 

Evan hardened his tongue and licked more insistently, more firmly, dragging the tip of his tongue down, down, down as far as it could go under the restraint of the underwear until he found it, that special sensitive spot that just wouldn’t stop throbbing.

 

Hannah moaned out louder than before and squirmed around, wanting more of his mouth on her. Evan chuckled a little and brought his hands down to finally push her underwear out of the way. Hannah was so overwhelmed at this point, the anticipation clouding her thoughts, that she barely had the sense to feel nervous about feeling exposed, especially not when Evan was digging his nails into her thighs as he inspected her. “It’s beautiful,” he murmured. “So beautiful.”

 

“Th—thank you,” Hannah stuttered out, thrusting her hips up to wordlessly beg for more contact.

 

Evan complied, leaning back down to drag his tongue from the bottom of her vulva all the way to the top, lingering over her clit to apply tight little circles with his tongue. Hannah felt like all of her nerve endings were waking up after a decade-long nap, rubbing their eyes for a second before jumping back to life. A second later, Evan went back down again, focusing on her outer lips with his teeth, gently scraping along while his fingers danced over her inner thighs. At this point, Hannah felt so drenched down there, but she could still somehow feel herself getting wetter at the sensation of Evan’s lips opening and closing over her hot sensitive flesh. She couldn’t wait any longer. She had to have it. She had to fuck his face.

 

Hannah began thrusting her hips up and down, back and forth, starting up a rhythm of lifting her hips up onto Evan’s mouth for a second before letting them fall back down to the couch. He was licking all over her now, leaving no inch untouched, running his tongue in thick wet circles from the top to the bottom and then back again. At the same time, one of his hands drifted along her hips before shoving under her body and grabbing at her bare ass, causing Hannah to cry out in surprise. “Okay?” Evan checked in between long licks of her cunt.

 

“Yes, yes, more than okay, yes,” Hannah said breathlessly, rocking so hard between Evan and the couch that her breasts started shaking with the momentum of her thrusts, threatening to spill out of her bra. Evan’s other hand reached up to grab one of them, rubbing the top of her breast in gentle circles, while his other hand squeezed firmly at her ass.

 

Evan suddenly focused all of his attention on her clit, fastening his mouth around it and sucking gently. “Unnnh, ohhh!” Hannah moaned brokenly. He started pushing his mouth up and down on her clit, giving tiny little thrusts forward with his mouth while his tongue licked the clit back and forth, moving her pulsing nub around in multiple directions at once.

 

Heat built between Hannah’s legs, starting out subtly in a warm little ball of pleasure, but as Evan bounced his mouth on her clit, it grew bigger and bigger with each passing second, getting brighter and hotter. Evan pushed up on her ass, lifting her hips up off the couch. Hannah’s legs started shaking, trembling like a tree in the grips of a hurricane’s wind. She felt like she was coming apart, heat spreading from her cunt down to her legs and up through her torso, down into her feet and up into her fingers—every inch of her body consumed in this heat that just got huger with every flick of Evan’s tongue.

 

Evan moved his free hand down from her breast to her legs, kneading the muscle with his fingers and thumb, but after a minute it drifted down in between her legs and found her hole. Hannah cried out as his finger entered her, spreading her wetness around. “Jesus, that feels good,” she murmured as soon as her voice returned to her.

 

Evan pulled his tongue away from her clit to whisper, “You deserve it” hotly into her skin before resuming to rapidly lick her nub up and down. His finger started shoving in and out of her faster and a little harder, matching the rhythm he was setting with his mouth. The heat between her legs, still spreading throughout her body, got so intense that Hannah had to reach down and tangle a hand into Evan’s hair just to steady herself. She pulled at his hair, needing something to anchor herself down. She felt like she was floating off into space, that she was going to disappear entirely if she didn’t hold on to Evan somehow. A little fear clutched at her heart, making it pound faster and harder in her chest, reverberating throughout her body.

 

Evan flattened his tongue and spread it up and down, covering her entire clit before he started sucking on it, starting out soft but going harder and harder as Hannah started to whimper. “Oh, please, please, yes, yes, harder, yes!” Hannah cried out, yanking harder on Evan’s hair.

 

He did as he was told, pulling at her clit as hard as possible, just a second before adding a second finger inside her. “Oh! Unh! Ahhh, shiiiiiiiit!” Hannah screamed, thrusting her hips down to allow him deeper into her body.

 

Evan started moving his two fingers around in big circles, going slowly at first but quickly gaining speed as Hannah grunted above him. He squeezed harder at her ass, aiding her tiny little thrusts forward and pushing her faster into his mouth. A second later, his fingers bent at a new angle and found a spot inside of her cunt that made her howl like an animal. “Jesus!” she shrieked, bouncing her hips back and forth as fast as possible.

 

He suddenly stopped sucking and pulled off of her clit, dragging the tip of his tongue along the sensitive spot, one, two, three times before he cleared his throat and whispered, “Good? Good, baby?”

 

Hannah nodded furiously and tugged a little harder onto Evan’s hair, losing all capacity to speak beyond wordless moans. “Ahh, unfffgh” was the best she could do under the circumstances.

 

Evan grinned, but it didn’t look like he was mocking her. His entire face lit up, his eyes shining so brightly that Hannah saw colors inside that she’d never noticed before, seven different shades of gold that had somehow hidden inside his eyes for the past several days. How had she not noticed before? She didn’t have time to debate the issue with herself, however, as his fingers pressed hard onto her inner sensitive spot, and her entire body seized up all at once. “Shit!” she cried out, her free hand coming down onto Evan’s shoulder and squeezing hard.

 

“Come on, do it for me, baby, do it for me,” Evan muttered before leaning in to suck on her clit again for a few moments.

 

Hannah panted furiously, her stomach rising and falling fast, shoving her hips up and down. But her heart pounded with a mix of excitement and fear, her stomach squirming like she’d swallowed a bug. “I’m scared,” she said without thinking, the words leaving her mouth of their own accord. But the sensation building between her legs was so huge, the heat so much bigger and brighter than her own body, she just didn’t know if she could take it.

 

But Evan seemed to understand. His eyes were warm as they scanned up and down her body before stopping to gaze directly into Hannah’s eyes. “You can do it. I know you can,” he whispered. “You’re a warrior woman. You’ve got this.”

 

Hannah breathed raggedly and stared back at Evan, searching his eyes for any sign of deception or doubt. But she didn’t find any. She just found pure, unadulterated belief. He’s right, some voice in her mind whispered. He’s right, you know? I’ve been through so much. My body has survived so much. It’s done the impossible. It’s done the unimaginable. I have walked through hell and lived. This is nothing. This is nothing. I can do this.

 

She exhaled slowly and spread her legs apart. “Do it. Give it to me. Please,” she whispered. Evan shoved his fingers in harder and lowered his head again, sucking firmly on her clit.

 

“You got this, you got this, you strong, beautiful woman, you got this,” Evan murmured as his fingers dove in and out of her hole faster. “You can do this. You can do this. You got this.”

 

“I can—ungh—I can do this!” Hannah cried out. I can come. I can do it. He believes in me. I believe in myself. I can do it.

 

“Yeah, you can, baby, yeah, you got this, darling,” Evan whispered before returning to suck harder on her clit, but he kept murmuring into her skin, so softly that Hannah couldn’t hear it. But she didn’t need to hear it. She knew what he meant: he believed in her. That was all she needed to know.

 

I can do this. I am powerful. I am strong. I. am. brave, she said to herself silently, right as the ball of heat between her legs triggered an explosion that took her entire body apart. “Ahhh! Ungh! Ohh!” Hannah cried out, her hand blindly reaching out past Evan’s shoulder until she found his hand, squeezing it tight to hold on through the vibrations that shook her from the top of her head to the bottom of her trembling feet.

 

For a long moment, she just saw white, then every color streamed past her shut eyes, a rainbow that felt like it would never end. “Shit, fuck, God,” she moaned a moment later, launching her body forward and pulling Evan up to crash their mouths together.

 

“You did it,” Evan said in between long wet kisses. “You did it, baby.”

 

“I came,” Hannah said, tears slipping down her face, but this time out of happiness. “I came. Holy fucking shit.”

 

“Yeah. Holy fucking shit, indeed,” Evan said with a laugh, pulling her closer to his body and rubbing a hand over her back to calm the shivers that were running through her body.

 

“Thank you,” Hannah whispered into his neck, dropping sweet little soft kisses on his shoulder.

 

“Don’t,” Evan said, dragging his nails gently up and down her back. “You did it, not me. You were so amazing.”

 

“Were?” Hannah said, leaning back to grin at Evan. “You done with me already?”

 

“Oh, no, not even close,” Evan said before grabbing her by the neck and pressing their lips together again.

 

Hannah sighed happily into the kiss, rubbing her fingers through his hair. She said a silent prayer of gratitude that Alex slept through the entire event.

 

“Can I take your bra off now?” Evan asked after he pulled back from the kiss, smiling down at her.

 

Hannah giggled, regular speech totally out of her grasp for the time being, but she nodded a few seconds later, still laughing lightly as Evan stuck a hand under her body and undid the clasp of her bra, pulling it off and throwing it on the floor with the rest of their discarded clothes. Now she was totally naked in front of him, totally bare, but she didn’t have any energy left to feel self-conscious. She felt empty and whole all at the same time, and it felt fantastic.

 

Evan leaned in again to kiss her bare nipples, licking them gently. “So delicious,” he murmured.

 

“Worth the wait?” Hannah asked, wrapping her arms around Evan’s shoulders to tug him closer to her body.

 

“Mm-hmm,” Evan whispered as he leaned in to drop soft kisses against Hannah’s jaw. “Definitely.” Meanwhile, one of his hands traveled back down to the juncture between Hannah’s legs, circling her hole with one finger.

 

“Oh,” Hannah whispered softly, pushing forward to drown her aroused murmurs in Evan’s mouth. “Jesus.”

 

“Hmm? You want it?” Evan asked against her mouth, nipping her lips with his teeth.

 

Hannah nodded and pressed her forehead against Evan, wanting to meld with him as much as possible.

 

“You still ready for me, baby? You still all wet?” Evan asked, his finger dipping inside her hole, making Hannah gasp softly and bury her head into his shoulder. “Yeah,” he said with a little chuckle. “Yeah, you’re fucking dripping for me. You’re so fucking desperate for it.”

 

“Mm-hmm,” Hannah murmured, biting down gently onto Evan shoulder. She wanted to make him feel the way she felt. She wanted him to fall apart underneath her. Hannah reached down to play with the fabric of his underwear, sticking her fingers inside. Evan groaned a little under his breath in response, and Hannah relished that noise, hiding her grin in Evan’s neck as she licked his hot skin. Evan stuck his finger in deeper, rolling it around inside of her to brush up against all the oversensitive spots. Hannah dipped her hand further into his underwear, pulling it away from his body and glancing down at his cock. Big and thick and gorgeous, she thought.

 

But she wanted to tease him more, maybe even make him beg for it. She started rubbing little circles into the warm skin underneath his hipbone, going around from the front of his body to his back. “That feels…nice,” Evan murmured, circling his finger around inside her a little slower as he became distracted by her touches. But Hannah didn’t mind. She was still shaking a little from her first orgasm ever, and she wanted to focus on him, totally take him apart with her hands and mouth before they joined their bodies together.

 

Hannah skimmed her fingers over Evan’s ass, petting over the skin until she felt goosebumps and little hairs stand up at attention in response to her touches. “That’s it, baby,” she murmured, thrusting her hips forward to keep Evan’s finger inside of her. “That’s it. Relax for me.”

 

Evan groaned a little and rocked his head forward to lie on Hannah’s shoulder, nuzzling into her neck. Hannah dropped her hand down lower, grabbing the bottom of his ass before moving up to squeeze the firm muscle there. God, he was so fit, so strong and big. Hannah wanted to lick every last inch of his body, drink up all his sweat. Well, nothing’s stopping me, she realized, pulling back so that Evan’s finger fell out of her body.

 

Evan whined a little in complaint, but he didn’t have a chance to push back inside of her, because she pushed down at his shoulders until he lay down, and then she shoved at the side of his body to get him to flip over. Hannah leaned over and started with the back of his neck, licking the tiny little hairs there until he moaned highly, albeit muffled by the pillow under his mouth. She scratched her nails down his back, starting at his shoulder blades and going on to his boxers.

 

He groaned underneath her, arching his back up, wordlessly asking for more contact.

 

Hannah pushed the heels of her palms into his skin, trying to get all of the tension out of his back muscles, dragging her hands down to his clothed ass. “Give it up to me, baby,” she whispered, rubbing his back more firmly and scratching her nails in deeper into his skin. “Just relax.”

 

Evan sunk deeper into the couch, and Hannah couldn’t help but grin, seeing him melt under her touch. For the first time in a long time, she felt proud of herself. She felt like she was capable of anything. A big part of her wanted to slowly rub over every last centimeter of his body, but she was too impatient for that right now. She needed to taste him, to drag him into her body. She wanted them to melt together.

 

Hannah dragged her tongue down from his neck, following his spinal column until she reached the top of his boxers, taking the hem between her teeth and tugging it down to reveal his naked ass.  Now he was totally exposed, just like her. She straddled his legs and leaned down to bite his ass, digging her teeth in harder when he groaned in response. “You like that?” she whispered as she licked a line up from his ass to the dimples of his lower back.

 

“Need more,” Evan grunted, pushing on his hands to lift his torso up. “Need you.”

 

“Patience. Patience, baby,” she told him, pushing him back down so that he was lying flat on his stomach again. She started nibbling on his shoulders, making him whimper a little in response. It was adorable, hearing such a pitiful noise come from someone so tough. She carved out a path with her mouth, starting up between his shoulder blades and traveling down, down, down to his ass, licking the thick muscles there before bringing out her teeth to bite down hard enough to leave a mark.

 

That ought to show him who’s boss, Hannah thought as she pulled back to admire her work, a beautiful round purple mark in the shape of her teeth right in the middle of his ass cheek. Evan groaned and pushed his ass back further, wordlessly asking for more bites. She did as instructed, applying hickeys to every available surface. All the while, Evan breathed heavier and heavier, little whining noises leaving his mouth every other second.

 

“Jesus, I need you, I need you, please,” he begged her.

 

“I need you, too,” she murmured back, rubbing her hands all over his ass before squeezing it as hard as possible.

 

Without warning, Evan flipped back over and grabbed Hannah by the waist, shoving their pelvises together. Hannah gasped and instinctively grinded against him, their genitals brushing up against each other. Evan grabbed his cock by the base and aimed for her hole, but Hannah put a hand on his chest and shook her head. “Condom. Condom,” she demanded.

 

Evan nodded and bent over to the ground, fishing in his pants for a second before producing one. He quickly put it on and lightly pushed at Hannah’s shoulders, making her lie flat on the couch, her legs open for him in invitation.

 

“I’ll go slow,” Evan promised as he moved his cock to her entrance, pushing in only an inch at a time.

 

“Ugh, please don’t,” Hannah said back, thrusting her hips up to accept more of his dick inside of her. “I need you to give it to me.”

 

“Okay, baby. Okay, baby, yeah,” Evan agreed, shoving the rest of his cock inside all at once. “Shit, shit, you’re so…unnh.”

 

Hannah felt a flash of anxiety crash over her. “What? What’s wrong?”

 

Evan laughed lightly, leaning forward to kiss her deeply. “Nothing. Absolutely fucking nothing. You’re just so fucking tight. I might not last long.” He grunted a little and started pulling his cock out, starting up a rhythm. “It’s been a long time,” he explained.

 

“Me, too,” Hannah said, feeling relief wash over her as she watched Evan’s mouth fall open in pleasure. For her own part, she felt so fucking full, her opening stretching to accommodate Evan’s length. But at the same time, he was brushing up against new spots inside of her that she’d never even known about before, discovering new territory like an explorer. She felt her neck and arms become even sweatier, if that was possible, as she began to thrust up into Evan’s movements, wanting to see him fall apart inside of her.

 

“You feel….so fucking good. So good,” Evan murmured, leaning down to both push more of his cock inside of her and slide his mouth against hers.

 

Hannah shut her eyes and let her head rock back against the couch pillows, focusing on the full sensation between her legs, the heat that started to build itself up again inside of her. “Yes, yes,” she muttered softly, reaching up to pull Evan down for another kiss.

 

Evan began to push in and out faster, their hips smacking together lightly as he thrusted against her. “Yes, yes, yes,” Hannah murmured, fisting her hand in Evan’s hair to keep him in place above her. “That’s good, that’s good.”

 

“Yeah? You fucking like it, baby? You like my cock inside you?”

 

“I love it,” Hannah replied, shoving her hips up harder and faster to meet him. “Please, harder, please.”

 

He did as he was told, making the couch squeak against the wooden floor of the cabin as he fucked her more deeply. He readjusted a second later, hitting a new spot inside Hannah that made her scream. “Fuck! Fuck! Shit, fuck, fuck!” she wailed, her legs trembling around Evan’s waist. “Baby! Yes!”

 

Evan went faster, apparently encouraged by her noises, grabbing Hannah’s hand to pin it down to the couch, using it for traction as he thrusted above her. Hannah gripped back at his hand as hard as she could. Sweat collected between their palms, but neither of them cared. They needed to hold on to each other, to meld together in as many ways as possible.

 

Hannah used her other hand to reach down between her legs and stimulate her clit while Evan fucked her. Evan noticed what she was doing a minute later and pushed her hand out of the way, replacing it with his own fingers, jacking off her clit faster than ever before while their hips bounced and slapped together.

 

“I’m not going to last much longer, baby,” Evan warned, slowing down to shove all of his length in and out, every inch of his cock touching the most sensitive spots inside of Hannah. At the same time, his hand practically flew over her clit, pushing it in every direction and making the heat between her legs reach a climax again. Hannah breathed in and out deeply, steadying herself to break apart again, trying to relax every muscle around her cunt to allow herself to explode.

 

“I’m gonna, I’m gonna, oh, baby, fuck, fuck, fuck,” Evan cried out before shoving his cock in and out at a frantic pace, practically pinning her down to the couch with his cock for a second before going still, his cock’s vibrations rocking against Hannah’s cunt even through the condom. “Jesus, shit.”

 

He quickly pulled out and tied the condom off before collapsing back on top of Hannah, slipping two fingers inside of her while using his thumb to circle around her clit. “You close, baby?”

 

Hannah simply nodded, lost for words again. She thrust her hips up, wanting more of his fingers inside of her, bouncing up and down to maximize stimulation of her clit. She felt so wet, so fucking fucked-out and exhausted, but she could taste her orgasm on the tip of her tongue and she wasn’t going to give up now, not after learning that she was actually capable of it.

 

Evan slipped a third finger inside of her, stretching her out. “Ahh!” Hannah cried out weakly, her throat hoarse from her previous screaming. He bent his fingers at the perfect angle, hitting a bundle of nerves inside of her that felt like they were on fire. Evan must have known what it felt like, as he started rubbing that spot furiously. Hannah moaned, pulling Evan’s head down so she could kiss him deeply and bite on his lip, trying desperately to transmit some of the energy that was bubbling up inside of her.

 

“Do it, baby, do it for me, baby,” Evan said into her mouth, licking his way inside her mouth gently even as his fingers moved harder and faster than ever before.

 

“I’m gonna—I’m gonna, unnh,” Hannah groaned, but it was still a little bit out of reach, and she couldn’t understand why. Heat sparked up from her cunt, embedding into her spine, spiraling out to every inch of her body, but she was struggling to let go and just let the sensation wash over her.

 

Evan stroked the side of her face gently, his nails skimming over her skin lightly. “Come on, baby,” he whispered, and Hannah’s eyes flicked open, meeting his.

 

That’s what did it. The gold in his eyes. The warmth. The love.

 

Hannah shattered apart into a million pieces. At least, that’s the way it felt, contracting around Evan’s fingers, squeezing him in deeper as she exploded, vibrations pulsing out in every direction, filling every cell of her body with fire that burned and burned and burned but didn’t destroy anything. She felt like that fire was rebuilding her, making her into something bigger, stronger, braver. Tears pooled into her eyes again, but she was beyond feeling embarrassed. She was beyond shame. She stared deep into Evan’s eyes as their mouths met again, their skin melting into each other. She never wanted to let go.

 

A few minutes passed, or maybe a half hour, or maybe a whole day. Hannah couldn’t tell, and she honestly didn’t care. She couldn’t bring herself to care about anything other than Evan’s glorious weight on top of her, his sweat pooling together with hers. Her eyes eventually blinked back open, finding Evan smiling at her softly.

 

Everything smelled like sex and sweat, but it was good. It was nurturing. It reassured Hannah that she wasn’t dreaming, that she hadn’t simply imagined everything that had just happened. I came. Twice. I actually fucking came, she thought to herself.

 

“Hey, there,” Hannah said through a scratchy, exhausted throat. “Handsome man,” she murmured, weakly dragging her limp fingers through his hair again.

 

“Hey, there, beautiful lady,” Evan said, leaning in to peck her cheeks and lips. “So beautiful.”

 

“Thank you,” Hannah murmured in response, and she knew she was thanking him for a lot more than just the compliment. He had unlocked something terrifyingly powerful inside of her, and she knew there was no way she could go about pretending that it had never happened. Evan had changed her in a very real, very fundamental way, a way that was scary and exciting and wonderful all at once.

 

Somehow, Evan seemed to understand all that. His twinkling eyes turned serious as he leaned in to kiss her forehead and pull her forward into his arms, cuddling her against his chest. Hannah couldn’t understand how someone who’d lived the life he had lived could be so soft, so sweet. But she decided not to question it, leaning her entire weight onto Evan’s body, melting into him again. She never wanted to extricate her limbs from his. She never wanted to pull away.

 

“Go to sleep, baby,” Evan whispered into her hair, rubbing soothing circles onto her stomach, making her giggle a little even through her sleepiness.

 

Her eyes were heavy, and she struggled to keep them open to look out at the dying fire across from the couch. Seconds away from slipping off into sleep, she felt a flutter of fear in her chest, some unspoken, unnamed terror still hovering around her heart. What’s going to happen to us now? Hannah wondered. What does this mean?

 

“Hey, Evan,” she whispered, unsure if he was still awake.

 

“Hm?” he said in response.

 

“Are we…are we…” Hannah swallowed, trying to summon up the courage to finish the question that was on her lips. She shut her eyes again and nuzzled into his chest, hiding her face. “Are we…together?”

 

Evan was silent for a long moment, and Hannah’s ears filled with the pounding of her heartbeat. Eventually he pushed some of the hair behind her ear and reached down to kiss the top of her head. “Of course we are,” he whispered.

 

Somehow that didn’t vanquish the fear in Hannah’s chest, but she did not want to interrogate herself right now. This wasn’t the time for terror. This was the time to be soft, to relax, to shuck off all of her armor and cuddle up to Evan as much as possible. This was the time to be weak.

 

Outside, the storm raged. But inside, there was shelter, at least for the night. And that was more than enough for now.