Evan

 

Evan awoke to the sound of rain, gentle but firm, pounding down on either side of the cabin’s walls. Hannah was still sleeping, naked in his arms, nuzzling his chest in her sleep. He felt warm inside, like a hot little nurturing star had taken up shop in the middle of his chest, especially when he spotted a tiny little puddle of drool on his chest from Hannah’s mouth. He smiled and stroked a gentle circle into the side of her neck.

 

But then a cold sensation sunk down from the top of his head, slinking down to the rest of his body. It was like his body knew that something was wrong before his brain did. But his mind eventually caught up to his anxiety a few moments later.

 

Salvatore. It was Salvatore, of course. What else could it possibly be? That fucker was the shadow hanging over everything else. Otherwise, this was the best day in his life. He’d had sex with a lot of women over the years, but he’d never felt like he’d made love before. Now that had changed. He had never felt closer to anyone, let alone a woman he was with, ever before in his life.

 

You’re mine now, he said silently as he stared down at Hannah’s adorable little scrunched-up sleeping face. And I have to protect you. I have to. Whatever doubt Evan had before was gone. Salvatore had to die. It was that simple.

 

In the other room, Alex started fussing, low, but in an impatient tone that told Evan that he was about to start screaming if he didn’t receive some attention. Hannah shifted a little bit but remained asleep as Evan lifted her gently off his chest and placed her down on the couch pillows. He walked into the bedroom to find Alex awake, playing with the blanket that Hannah had used to swaddle him hours before.

 

“Hey, buddy,” Evan whispered, keeping his voice low so as not to wake Hannah. “Whatcha doing there?”

 

Alex raised his little baby fists in the air, and at first Evan was confused, unsure of what the little guy wanted, but after a second it clicked. He was reaching for Evan, wordlessly begging to be picked up and held. Evan felt his heart stutter in his chest at the realization, swallowing thickly to clear the emotion that suddenly clogged his throat as he reached over to grab Alex and lift him from the bed. The baby immediately pressed his head against Evan’s chest and cooed lightly, content to be held tight.

 

“Jesus,” Evan murmured under his breath.

 

In a weird way, holding Alex made him feel like a kid again, reminding him of how he’d felt the first time he had held his younger sisters. That sense of wonder, that mixture of fear and excitement that something so small, something so fragile accepted you, wanted you, needed you, decided that you were the right person to keep them safe. It was thrilling and terrifying all at once, feeling the weight of a tiny child’s trust hit him straight in the chest.

 

Alex fell back asleep in his arms, sniffling lightly, and again, Evan felt certain of what he had to do. This tiny child, this precious sweet baby was hurt by a monster who was still hunting him. There was no way Evan could sit back and let that happen. There was no way he could just run away and hope for the best, not when Salvatore was still out there. He had to be gone. He had to be dead before Evan could ever rest.

 

He was so wrapped up in staring down at Alex and making silent promises to the kid that he didn’t notice Hannah walking up to the doorway of the bedroom. Eventually she cleared her throat and alerted Evan to her presence.

 

“How long have you been watching me?” Evan said, feeling a smile slowly stretch across his face at the sight of a naked Hannah standing in the doorway.

 

“Long enough,” Hannah replied, her voice light and teasing. Evan loved hearing that. It was so rewarding, seeing her relaxed and calm rather than stressed and panicked. “He likes you,” she added softly, her face turning serious. “He doesn’t like anybody.”

 

“What do you mean?” Evan asked.

 

“Back home,” Hannah started to say, but then she paused, wincing at her own use of the word “home” in reference to Sal’s place. “Back there, he wouldn’t let anyone hold him but me. He’d, like, scream if someone touched him. It used to freak people out. Salvatore…Salvatore hated it. He hated that it was so obvious that Alex preferred me.”

 

“What a piece of shit,” Evan muttered, more to himself than to Hannah.

 

“Yeah,” Hannah agreed, but there was still a little smile on her face, staring at Alex in Evan’s arms. “That he is.”

 

Evan tightened his arms around Alex and stared down at his fragile little head, admiring the tiny dark curls that were just beginning to take root there. “I’ve got to do it, you know,” Evan said. “Kill him.”

 

Hannah exhaled shakily and pushed her hair back from her forehead. Evan inwardly regretted saying anything, at least for the moment. It was so crushing to see Hannah fall back into worry. “Can you…can you please just let it go?” she asked softly, and the sadness in her voice was like a dagger aimed right at Evan’s heart.

 

Evan shook his head slowly. He wanted to lie to her, say anything that would get her to calm back down and relax again, but he didn’t want to disrespect her that way. He had to be honest. After years of deception and abuse, she deserved that much at the very least. “I really can’t. I’m sorry. I just…I just can’t rest until he’s dead. Please understand.”

 

“I’m afraid that I do understand,” Hannah said, her brow furrowing. “It’s like a habit with you, isn’t it? An addiction. It’s the only way you know how to be. Is that right? Is that what it is?”

 

Evan felt his heart sink in his chest. So, after everything, Hannah still thought of him as a killer. It made sense. It wasn’t like he could be mad at it. He was a killer. He’d hurt so many people. Sure, most of them had deserved it, but not all. And that was enough to legitimize Hannah’s fear. It was enough to legitimize her hatred, if she felt any. “Do you…do you think you’ll ever trust me?” Evan heard himself asking, his mouth moving of its own accord without his brain’s permission. That question was unfair. He hadn’t meant to ask it, but it just came out.

 

Hannah gave a shrug, and Evan felt his heart sink a little further down into his stomach. “I don’t know. But this—this killing Salvatore stuff? It doesn’t help. I just…I just wish we could let it go, let it fade into the past.”

 

“That’s what I want, too,” Evan argued. His heart had started pounding more insistently in his chest, but he made sure to keep his voice steady so as not to wake Alex back up. “And it’s the only way. He’ll never give up. He’ll never leave us alone.”

 

“Maybe,” Hannah conceded. “But he might not be able to get to us if we go south, get out of this country, get off this continent. He isn’t king of the world. He doesn’t have the same power everywhere.”

 

It sounded logical. Maybe she was even right. But it wasn’t enough for Evan. “Maybe. But…we can’t really know that for sure, can we? It’s not like either of us have tested it out. Do you really want to live the rest of your life with one eye looking behind you, constantly worrying that the second you let your guard down he’ll be there, ready to hurt you and Alex?” Evan asked.

 

Hannah was silent a moment, pursing her lips as she considered the proposition. “Maybe not,” she finally whispered. “But it’s better than having his blood on my hands.”

 

“It wouldn’t be on your hands,” Evan argued. “I’ll do it. I’ll handle the whole thing.”

 

She smiled a little, but it was sad, resigned even. “Your hands, my hands. There’s not that big of a difference anymore, is there?”

 

Now it was Evan’s turn to be silent and let her words truly sink in. They had joined their bodies together. More than our bodies, Evan thought. He didn’t know if he had a soul, but if he did, it had touched Hannah’s the night before. They were united now, in more ways than one. And that was precisely why he had to do this.

 

“I’m sorry,” he said, and he truly meant it. “I don’t want to hurt you. Please believe me, that’s the last thing I want to do,” Evan continued, his voice low and shaky. “But I have to keep you safe. Please understand that. I just…I just have to.” Maybe it was just because he was a murderer, maybe it was because his insides were all rotten-through, all dead inside. But Hannah’s weren’t. Alex’s weren’t. And Evan would fight like hell to make sure they stayed that way.

 

Silence fell again, but after a moment Hannah started nodding slowly, walking forward into the room. “Just don’t do it yet, okay?” Hannah said, stepping closer to Evan until the space between their bodies was erased. “Promise me that. Stay with us a while longer. I need—I need you.” She averted her eyes, staring down at the floor. “To feel safe.”

 

“Okay,” Evan whispered, staring at Hannah until she raised her eyes to meet his. “Okay, I won’t. I won’t do it yet.”

 

“And, and, please just give me some warning before you do. If you do,” Hannah said. “Because you know you can always…you can always choose not to.”

 

That wasn’t true, as far as Evan was concerned, but he felt himself nodding in agreement. “Okay.”

 

Hannah smiled again, weakly but genuinely, her eyes full and wide. Evan couldn’t help himself. He had to lean in to kiss her, making sure to keep one hand on Alex.

 

“Mm,” Hannah murmured into the kiss. “You taste good.”

 

“You, too,” Evan whispered, smiling into the kiss as Hannah deepened it.

 

They pulled back a minute later, the sound of the wind whipping the trees outside making Hannah tear herself away from Evan to look out the window. She groaned. “Unnnngh. I hope it doesn’t storm again. I fucking hate storms.”

 

“I’ll keep you safe,” he promised, smiling teasingly at her. But he meant it, more than he had meant anything in his whole life.

 

“The trees out there are beautiful, though,” Hannah said, walking over to the window to gesture to the one nearest the house. “Gorgeous.”

 

“You think?” Evan asked a little incredulously. “They’re so skinny and small.”

 

“Those are my favorite ones,” Hannah said. “They’re brave little fuckers. Making it through the winter somehow. That’s something to be proud of.”

 

“Yeah,” Evan said, smiling at Hannah as she continued to stare out the window at the trees. “It is.”

 

An idea struck Evan, and it sounded so stupid and ridiculous that at first he dismissed it, trying to push it to the back of his mind. But it didn’t work. It was a persistent little fuck of an idea, and Evan knew it wouldn’t go away unless he voiced it.

 

“Let’s bring one in,” Evan said.

 

“What?” Hannah asked, turning around to face him, confused.

 

“For, um, for Christmas.” He ducked his head down, focusing on the top of Alex’s head, feeling his cheeks heat up with embarrassment.

 

But Hannah didn’t mock his idea. “Really?” she asked softly instead, walking back over to him and grabbing his free hand. “You want that?”

 

“I want, um, I want Alex to have that,” Evan forced out, the words painful as they left his mouth even though he meant them. He did want Alex to have a Christmas. A real Christmas. A warm Christmas.

 

“I thought you hated Christmas,” Hannah replied, grabbing onto his hand more firmly.

 

“Not anymore,” Evan said, feeling himself blush more deeply, as if he was a weak little schoolboy.

 

“How would we do it?” Hannah asked.

 

“There’s an ax just inside the door,” Evan said. “I saw it when we came in. I can go out and take one of the skinny trees down and carry it in.”

 

“What would we do for decorations?” Hannah asked. “I don’t—I don’t want to leave the cabin unless we have to.”

 

Evan thought about it. “Well, what would we need, really? Some shiny, colorful shit. We got to be able to find that stuff around here somewhere.”

 

Hannah screwed up her face in concentration. It looked really cute, tempting Evan to lean in and kiss her again, but he let her think. “When I was a kid, we didn’t have any money, you know, so we made our own ornaments. We could…we could grab some paper and some scissors and make paper baubles that way. Let me look in the closets out there,” she said, crossing the bedroom to go to the main section of the cabin.

 

Evan put Alex back down on the bed, swaddling him securely with blankets before following Hannah out to the main room. “While you do that, I’m going to chop that fucking tree down before the storm sets in again.”

 

He grabbed the ax on his way out, heading to the tree right outside the bedroom window. Hannah’s favorite. But as he aimed his weapon at it, he mentally transformed it into another target entirely. Salvatore’s broad dumb face. “Yeah, eat metal, you fuck,” Evan muttered as he dug the ax into the base of the tree. “Fucking choke on it.” When the time came to kill Salvatore, Evan would enjoy it. Maybe he would hide that from Hannah. It might make her think less of him, but he couldn’t help but think some part of her would enjoy it, too.

 

***

 

Hannah

 

Hannah found some colored paper, albeit thinner than the kind she wanted, in an office room to the back of the house. Next, she located a pair of scissors from the kitchen drawers and set off to work, making rough, uneven circles out of the paper. Green, yellow, red, brown, and pink. Not exactly uniformly Christmas colors, but it would work. She got herself a pen from the office and traced out angel shapes, cutting them out as best as she could. They kind of just looked like wonky, lopsided people with huge arms, but it was good enough. More than good enough, she thought with a smile, listening to the low thudding sounds outside as Evan attacked the tree. They were making their own Christmas with their own hands. And it was Evan’s idea, which made everything a thousand times sweeter. She’d made him believe in Christmas again. That was the closest thing to a miracle she’d seen in a long time. Maybe ever.

 

Hannah found a set of paperclips next, using them to poke holes in the paper ornaments and sticking them through the new openings. She’d use them to hang the ornaments up, wrapping around the branches of the tree. A minute later, the front door swung open, and a panting Evan dragged the tree inside, probably ruining the nice welcome mat in the process, but Hannah couldn’t bring herself to care.

 

“Big mountain man,” she said teasingly as Evan huffed and puffed, pulling the tree to the center of the room.

 

“That’s about as far as it’s going to go,” he said between huge panting breaths, lifting the tree up and leaning it against the wall. “Little crooked, but it’ll have to work.”

 

“Let me get Alex. I don’t want him to miss this,” Hannah said before heading into the bedroom to grab Alex. She returned to the living room a minute later, placing him down on the couch so he could watch her decorate the tree.

 

Hannah grabbed the bundle of paper ornaments and placed them down in a pile on the floor next to the tree. “You want to help?” she asked Evan as she began to hang some of the paper baubles from the tree with the paperclips.

 

“That’s okay, I’ll just watch you,” Evan said, sitting down next to Alex, who was cooing lightly in curiosity.

 

“Come on,” Hannah prodded him. “Just hang one or two. For me?”

 

Evan was quiet a moment, but when she turned around to pout at him, it was all over. He got up and went over to her, bashfully smiling a little as she handed him an angel to hang from the tree. “Where do I—”

 

“Anywhere,” Hannah said, trying to be as reassuring as possible. “There’s no wrong place.”

 

“Yes, teacher,” he said teasingly before hanging an angel on a low branch.

 

But Evan didn’t stop at one or two. He kept accepting the ornaments as Hannah handed them to him, alternating branches to maximize coverage of the tree. Hannah felt her heart beat joyously in her chest. She hadn’t felt this good in…maybe ever. She felt like she and Evan were reinventing Christmas together, making it with their own two hands, reshaping it into something they could be proud of. They felt…like a family.

 

As they finished their task, Hannah clapped her hands together and jumped up and down like a small child, excitement filling her entire body. “It’s so cute!” she cried.

 

“No, you are,” Evan said, pulling her into a deep kiss.

 

“I just wish I had a camera to take a picture of it….or some hot cocoa or something to commemorate the occasion,” Hannah said against his lips as they pulled apart.

 

“Well, they might have some,” Evan said, walking off into the kitchen. “I’ll check.”

 

Hannah grinned, watching him through the open doorway as he shuffled through the cabinets and drawers. It didn’t matter if he didn’t find anything. Happiness filled her up with warmth anyway. It was even okay with her that the storm had returned. For once in her life she didn’t feel afraid.

 

But her joy receded as she turned to check on her child.

 

Alex was slumped against the side of the couch, sniffling in his sleep lightly. He looked…fine, but Hannah still felt a wave of anxiety crash over her. It took her a second for her to realize what was wrong.

 

“Why is he sleeping so much?” Hannah asked out loud, worry seeping into her voice. She didn’t want to alarm Evan, but this wasn’t normal. Alex was a very active child, constantly babbling and trying to climb up places where he shouldn’t go. It was almost a relief that he hadn’t gotten into anything dangerous over the past few days, but it was concerning Hannah now that he’d been so quiet and still. That just wasn’t her son.

 

Maybe it’s just overstimulation, she thought. He’s had to move around so much, maybe it’s just tiring him out. But she couldn’t stop the bile from rising up her throat and filling her mouth as a result of her anxiety.

 

“Found some chocolate bars, will that work?” Evan said as he walked back into the room. “Hey, what’s up?” he asked, clearly detecting her worry right away.

 

“Um, it’s just Alex,” Hannah murmured, sitting down and reaching over to take her son into her arms, rocking him a little bit back and forth. “He’s not…he’s not himself.”

 

“He’s just sleeping,” Evan said. “He looks fine.”

 

“Yeah, but he usually doesn’t sleep all the time. He’s more…jumping around and getting into trouble, you know.” She clutched Alex tighter, trying to get him to wake up. Alex just sniffled some more and crushed his face against her chest. “He’s not okay,” she murmured.

 

“How can you tell?” Evan asked, putting the chocolate bars down on the coffee table.

 

“I don’t know, I don’t know.” Hannah could feel panic fill every cell of her body. “I can just tell.” Mother’s intuition, she thought.

 

Alex sniffled again and whined low, deep in his throat. Shit. He had been sniffling a lot the past day. Did he just have a cold?

 

Hannah rubbed her hand down Alex’s back, detecting lots of tension in his tiny little muscles, as if all of them had expended far too much energy in too short a time period. “He’s not okay,” she said again.

 

“Okay, what do you need to do?” Evan asked, sitting down next to her.

 

“I don’t know, I don’t know!” Hannah said again, her voice rising in impatience and frustration. “Sorry, sorry, I didn’t mean—I’m not mad at you or anything,” she rushed to add, turning to face Evan. “I just don’t know what to do. My baby’s sick.”

 

“Does he have a fever?” Evan asked, gesturing to Alex’s head.

 

Hannah placed one hand on Alex’s forehead, trying to detect his temperature, but it was hard to tell. He felt warm; was that bad or good? “I can’t tell.”

 

“Let me look for a thermometer. There’s got to be one around here,” Evan said, getting to his feet.

 

“I think there’s one in one of the kitchen drawers,” Hannah said, remembering from her search for the scissors earlier.

 

“Got it!” Evan yelled from the other room, running back with an oral thermometer in his hand. “Do I wash it off or…?”

 

“Just to be safe,” Hannah said. “I can do it.” She got to her feet to reach out for the thermometer, but Evan was already on his way to the bathroom to rinse it off.

 

A minute later, he returned with the tool again, handing it off to Hannah, who made sure it was dry and room temperature before sticking it under Alex’s arm. “Hold on for me, baby, okay?” she whispered, soothingly rubbing the back of his head.

 

After another minute, the thermometer beeped, and Hannah pulled it out of his mouth. “Jesus fucking Christ,” she said. “We got to….we got to go, Evan.” She got to her feet, pressing Alex against her chest tightly.

 

“What is it? What’s wrong? Is it bad?” Evan asked, following her to the front of the cabin.

 

“Really bad,” Hannah answered. “Get…get your jacket on.” She didn’t know why she told Evan that. Her maternal instincts must have been going into overdrive. They must be compensating for time lost, she berated herself. As she walked through the front door and headed for the car, she couldn’t help but beat herself up internally. All day she’d been playing house with Evan when her baby was on death’s door. What kind of mother was she?

 

“It’ll be okay,” Evan said, even though he had no idea how bad things were. “He’ll be fine, baby.”

 

Hannah didn’t say anything, quickly putting Alex in his car seat and sitting right next to him. “Hospital,” she directed Evan. “Closest one. Just…please.”

 

“Got it,” Evan said, hurriedly backing out onto the dirt path again, speeding through the woods and heading for the main road. “It’ll be all right. It’ll be fine, Hannah. I promise.”

 

“You don’t know that,” she whispered as they found the highway once again. She leaned over to rub Alex’s head, even though he was fast asleep again. How much was this baby going to suffer? How much pain was he going to feel? Is he going to be taken away from me? Hannah wondered. Is this my punishment, for staying with Salvatore as long as I did, for letting Salvatore hurt my son, for stealing cars, for being a shitty mother, for everything I’ve fucked up?

 

It was another twenty minutes of driving before Evan pulled into the parking lot of a hospital. “Go in,” he said, pulling up to the curb of the emergency room. “I’ll find a place to park.”

 

Hannah nodded, too stressed to argue even though the hairs on the back of her neck stood up at the idea of splitting up even for a few minutes.

 

She rushed in, holding on to Alex with one arm and gripping her bag with the other, getting in line to talk to the receptionist to get a number for the nurses to see her son.

 

It was excruciating, waiting, but she didn’t want to ask anybody to skip the line or ask for help in any other way if she didn’t absolutely have to. The fewer people noticed them, the better. For all she knew, Salvatore had people camped out at all the hospitals, waiting for any sign of her.

 

Evan walked in a minute later, walking up to their place in line and taking Alex from her arms to give her a break.

 

“Thanks,” she whispered in response. She wished she could lean into him, let all of her weight sink into his body, but she was afraid of calling attention to herself in any way.

 

Finally, after another few minutes that stretched on and on and felt more like decades, it was her turn to talk to the receptionist and receive a number. “Hi!” Hannah half-yelled. Her voice was out of her control right now. The panic in her stomach was driving everything she did like a puppeteer. “My son is sick. Really sick. Got a really bad fever. Please, can we see a nurse, like, immediately?” she asked in a rush.

 

“Do you have insurance?” the lady at the front desk asked, rather than answering her question.

 

“Why does that matter?” Hannah asked. “I’m going to pay you, but please, look at my son, he’s sick, he’s really, really fucking sick.”

 

“Please refrain from using profanity, ma’am,” the stuffy nurse replied, her tone as even and calm as ever, as if a little boy wasn’t at risk of death. “It’s our policy right now. We need to know who’s able to pay up front.”

 

“I—I…” She couldn’t use her insurance. It was Salvatore’s insurance. He’d be alerted right away if Hannah used it to save Alex. Hannah sighed deeply and reached into her purse, rifling around for her supply of cash. She probably had a few hundred dollars left. That might work as a method of payment. Maybe she could even pay up front. That way they could get out of the hospital faster after Alex was better.

 

She pulled a pile of bills out of her bag and held it out for the receptionist to take, but the woman just shook her head and pursed her lips. “We’ll need to have a credit card on file if you don’t have insurance,” the woman said. “We don’t know what the total costs will be yet.”

 

Hannah blew out her breath in frustration. It was taking every last ounce of energy left to restrain herself from leaping across the desk and throttling the woman with her own two hands. She knew she’d told Evan that she didn’t want to kill anyone, but she was seriously considering rethinking that stance right now. “Please. Just take my money,” she said between gritted teeth.

 

“Credit card, ma’am. Credit. Card,” the lady said back, her voice going hard and mean.

 

Hannah sighed deeply and reached into her wallet for her card, handing it over a second later without a thought. “Will you please treat my son now?” she asked. Another wave of anxiety crashed over her, but she didn’t have the time or energy to ask herself why.

 

***

 

Evan

 

Hannah used the card. Maybe she hadn’t realized it, but Evan did. He knew what that meant. Salvatore’s men would be coming soon. Evan scanned his surroundings, looking for any sign of a familiar face among the crowd, but he couldn’t detect anything suspicious. Yet. He realized that they wouldn’t attack in this hospital lobby, but the second Alex was better and Hannah left the hospital with him, they’d be ready and waiting, and there was no way Evan could fight all of them off. The sensation of doom slipped down over Evan’s mind like a dark cloud, slow and steady and unstoppable. There was no way out. There was no way they were coming out of here alive.

 

Unless…unless I find a way to get to Salvatore first. Evan had an idea of where they were, geographically-speaking. They were actually closer to Salvatore’s place than they’d been just a few days earlier. That means it’ll take less time for them to get here, he thought silently, but it also meant Evan had an opportunity to reach Salvatore’s hideout, sneak in, and take him out before the hit was even called in. It would take them a few hours, probably, to notice the credit card activity and trace it back to the hospital. He had a head start, if he was willing to take it.

 

I am, he realized. I’m willing to do anything to protect them. Anything at all.

 

“Ma’am, you’ll have to wait with everybody else,” the receptionist lady was saying to Hannah.

 

“Excuse me, miss,” Evan said, stepping in front of Hannah to talk directly to the receptionist. “Hi. Could you please move us up as quickly as possible? Our child is very ill.”

 

“Everyone here is very ill,” the receptionist shot back. “Take your number and sit down.”

 

Evan could tell that arguing with her wasn’t going to get them anywhere. He took the little slip of paper with their number on it and nudged Hannah’s arm, encouraging her to follow him over to one of the seats against the wall.

 

Alex squirmed uncomfortably in Evan’s lap, his little chubby cheeks stained with tears. But he was crying silently rather than wailing sharply like he usually did. That’s not a good sign, Evan realized. It’s not a good sign at all.

 

But they were already doing all that they could for the boy, waiting for a doctor to come see him. And none of that would be worth a thing if Evan didn’t handle Salvatore, who would definitely know soon enough where they were. Alex sniffled against him and pressed his tiny hand against his chest, and Evan’s heart filled up with emotion. He knew what he had to do, and he had to do it now.

 

“Hannah,” Evan said, putting his hand on the bottom of Hannah’s back, trying to comfort her for one last second before saying something that would terrify her. “I think we should split up.”

 

“What do you mean?” Hannah said, panic clearly evident in her voice. Her eyes were as wide as Evan had ever seen them, worry filling every inch of her irises. It hurt Evan’s heart, to see her like this. But he had to do something. He had to take action, once and for all. For all of them.

 

“I’m going to try to find a doctor, tell him what’s going on. All this administrative bullshit is just getting in the way. The people here don’t know what they’re doing. If I can find a real medical professional somewhere else in the hospital, maybe I can get Alex in to see somebody faster.”

 

“What makes you think a doctor will listen to you and come help?” Hannah demanded. Evan wondered if she was already suspicious, if she knew what he was really planning, but he didn’t have any more time to waste convincing her.

 

“Trust me,” Evan said, getting to his feet. “I have ways of getting people to do what I want.”

 

Hannah bit down on her lip but nodded slowly. “Okay, okay, that makes sense. But shouldn’t I come with you? We should stay together, right? Salvatore—”

 

“Salvatore’s not going to try something in the middle of a crowded hospital,” Evan argued. “You’re safe here. Please, just stay put, surrounded by nurses, and you’ll be all right. I’ll be back as quickly as I can.”

 

Hannah was silent a moment, considering Evan’s suggestion. He didn’t know why he didn’t just take off, but somehow he felt like he needed her permission, even if she didn’t know exactly what he was going to do. He needed to know that she was okay with being left alone.

 

“Give me your phone number,” Hannah said after a long pause.

 

“Salvatore might be tracing our phones. We shouldn’t—” Evan started to say, but Hannah cut him off.

 

“I won’t use it if I don’t have to,” she said. “But if we’re going to be separated we have to have a way to contact each other. Otherwise, I just…I’d rather you not go.”

 

“Okay,” he said before rattling off the digits to his phone number quickly, letting Hannah type them into her phone.

 

“Got it,” Hannah said, putting her phone back into her bag. “Be quick, please, okay?”

 

“I’ll be quick,” Evan promised. I’ll kill Salvatore so quickly you won’t even notice I’m gone, he swore silently before leaning in to drop a soft kiss on her lips. It’ll be better for all of us after I do.

 

Evan turned on his heel and walked down the nearest hallway, turning a corner so that he was out of Hannah’s sight. He flattened himself against a wall so that nobody would see him before walking through the closest exit, back out into the winter night.

 

With every step he took back to the car, more and more guilt crushed down on him like a boulder. He’d promised Hannah that he wouldn’t go to kill Salvatore without warning her first, but there was no time. He knew that if he told her, she would try to talk him out of it, and he couldn’t afford wasting a single second more than he already had. It was Christmas Eve now, and there would be fewer men on Sal’s detail. Half of them would have gone home to spend time with their families, giving Evan the opportunity to sneak into Salvatore’s property and do the deed without alerting the whole crew. It was perfect, really.

 

I’ll use Christmas lights, Evan realized. They were meant for Hannah and now they’ll be for Salvatore. It’s perfect poetic justice. One last hit. One last time. It was worth it, if it meant freeing Hannah and Alex from the bastard that pursued them, if it allowed Hannah to be free for the first time in her life.

 

Evan slid back into the car, sighing at the sight of Alex’s car seat in the rearview mirror. “Dammit,” he grunted, leaning his head against the steering wheel. He knew he should go, take the opportunity while it was still fresh, but he couldn’t get over the memory of Hannah’s panicked face. He’d abandoned her during her darkest hour.

 

What kind of man am I? Evan asked himself, staring in one of the side mirrors at his aging face. What kind of man have I been? She deserves more. She deserves better. Far, far better than me.

 

But maybe this was Evan’s only way of giving her that. She deserved a man she could celebrate Christmas with, without all the hang-ups and baggage and bullshit. She deserved to be happy, without guilt. She deserved to be touched and held and protected by hands that weren’t stained with the blood of a hundred people. But she’d never have that unless Salvatore was out of the way.

 

Evan started the car, still pressing his forehead against the wheel, wanting it to be branded deep into his skin. He wanted to punish himself for leaving her, for hurting her, for damaging her trust once again. But this was the only way. Maybe she would hate him for it. Maybe she would never get over it. But there were more important things than feeling loved by someone you cared about.

 

They’re going to kill me, Evan thought distantly as he pulled out of the parking space and headed back to the main road. There are so many men in Salvatore’s mansion, there’s no way I won’t be detected after I murder him. They’ll find me, and they’ll kill me. But it’ll be worth it. It’ll be worth anything, to set Hannah free.

 

When Evan was a kid, the man who was supposed to protect him left, not caring whether Evan and his siblings lived or died. He was a selfish man, someone who chased his own happiness at the expense of everything and everyone else.

 

Evan set his jaw as he pulled out onto the highway, heading directly for Salvatore’s mansion. I’m not my father, he thought. I won’t be selfish. I won’t care about my own life if it means hurting others, not anymore.

 

Evan would sacrifice everything for the person he loved. One last hit. One last kill. Two final deaths. It was fitting, that this was the way things would end, on Christmas.

 

***

 

Hannah

 

After waiting for what felt like hours, they gave Alex a room and hooked him up to fluids. He cried terribly when he was pulled from Hannah’s arms, and for the hundredth time over the past week she had to force back tears as she allowed him to be pried away from her. It was for the best. She couldn’t take care of him, not the way he needed. It was up to the doctors now.

 

Where was Evan, though? He said he’d be right back. Was he going up to every doctor in the hospital individually and asking them for help? What the hell could be taking so long?

 

Shivers prickled up Hannah’s spine as she sat in the chair next to Alex’s bed, watching him sleep. What if—what if Evan was wrong? Hannah wondered. What if there is someone in this hospital waiting for us, and they found him and—and…. She allowed the thought to trail off, the alternative too horrifying to contemplate.

 

For several long minutes, she just stared out the window, looking out into the storm that rocked the trees back and forth, waving almost rhythmically like fans at a concert. Maybe that was why she was so on edge. No, it’s not the weather, she told herself. You’re worried that Evan has been hurt. You’re worried that he’s been—that he’s been killed. She swallowed heavily and buried her head in her hands, her pulse pounding in her temples against her wrists.

 

Her hands started itching painfully, like a thousand fire ants were crawling over her skin, biting every last inch of her palms. Images flooded her mind, one after another after another after another. Evan, tied up somewhere. Evan, bloodied and bruised. Evan, lying dead in a ditch. Hannah groaned, forcing the heels of her palms into her eyes to try to force the images out. But what could she do? She couldn’t very well chase after him. This was a large hospital, and he could be anywhere by now. And besides, Alex was still sick, even if the doctors had told her that he would be okay. She couldn’t leave his side.

 

There is one thing you could do, the voice inside her head said. The cell phone number. For a minute, Hannah argued her inner voice back down into silence. That option was reserved for emergencies only. Evan was right, after all. Salvatore had almost definitely put a trace on her phone, even if it was far less likely that he had a similar alert tied to Evan’s. But…there was a pay phone right outside Alex’s room. She’d noticed it when the doctor led her down the hallway thirty minutes earlier. Hannah had plenty of change at the bottom of her bag. She could use the pay phone to call Evan and see where he was.

 

Hannah shifted uncomfortably in her seat, trying to dispel the idea from her mind. She was just being paranoid, that was all. Evan would come back as soon as he could, right? But he doesn’t even know the room number, Hannah realized. He might be sitting in the emergency room right now waiting for some signal from me because he doesn’t know where to go.

 

That settled it. She’d make one call from the pay phone and leave a voicemail if she had to in order to tell Evan to come to Alex’s room. Then they could wait together for Alex to get a little bit better before leaving and never coming back to this godforsaken place. They could set off for South America, go someplace warm, where it never stormed at Christmas.

 

Hannah got up from her chair, making sure Alex was still asleep, before leaving the room and heading out to the payphone, digging around in her bag to find change. She pulled out her phone to retrieve Evan’s number as she fed coins into the payphone, typing out the numbers one by one before pressing the phone against her ear. “Pick up, pick up, pick up,” she muttered into the receiver as she listened to the drone of the ringtone.

 

But no such luck. The call went to voicemail. “Hey, um…” Hannah trailed off, realization dawning on her all of a sudden. What if Evan was captured or worse? That meant that Salvatore’s men could have his phone in their possession. It wasn’t a good idea to say the room number unless she was speaking directly to Evan. She’d just have to hang up and try again, as many times as it took for Evan to actually answer her.

 

She went through the whole process again, digging out change and placing it into the payphone to call him again. Yet once again, it went to voicemail after four or five pointless rings. Hannah groaned and took out more change, trying again. And again. And again. “Jesus, fuck, where are you?” she muttered into the phone, hanging up before trying one last time. This time, she left a message, choosing her words wisely to avoid saying anything specific. “Hey, call back at this number when you get this, okay? It’s important,” she said before slamming the payphone back down in frustration. Despite her anger, her stomach clenched nervously, all of her organs shriveling up inside of her.

 

Why isn’t he answering? Hannah inwardly demanded. She inhaled and exhaled several times, trying to get herself to calm down, pressing her head against the cold plastic of the phone. Maybe his phone is just switched off. Maybe he doesn’t have the ringer turned on. Maybe he’s in a busy loud room and he can’t hear anything over the noise of other people. Maybe he’s a stupid man who just doesn’t check his phone very often. Maybe everything is okay. Or maybe…maybe they have him. Maybe he’s not coming back. Maybe I’ll never see him again.

 

Hannah swallowed hard to steel herself, trying to turn into an unfeeling stone that wasn’t consumed with worry about Evan. Maybe that’s what she had to be in order to survive, in order to keep her son safe. Maybe it had been a mistake to ever allow Evan to crack her open like an egg, playing around with all of her soft, sensitive, weak spots. She had to be tough. She had to be strong. She had to keep it together. For Alex.

 

Hannah pulled her head back from the phone, hanging it back on the hook, and attempted to pull herself together, tying her hair back into a tight ponytail and straightening her clothes. She would be a good mother, for once in her life. She’d just focus on Alex and not worry about anything else for the time being.

 

She turned back to the room, pulling the chair from just inside the entrance up to press it against Alex’s bed, but when she looked up, he wasn’t there. “Alex?” she said, wondering if he managed to escape his tubes and climb down to the floor. “Alex!” She quickly scanned the room and then. She saw it.

 

There was a man in the corner of the room, dressed all in black, holding a small black gun in one hand and cradling Alex to his chest with the other. Hannah felt her heart jump up into her throat, but the rest of her body was frozen, stuck in time. “Please,” she whispered, barely moving her lips as she begged the man in black. “Please, don’t hurt him.”

 

The man grinned, mean and ugly, the scars on his face stretching out in every direction as he smirked at her menacingly.

 

“Please,” Hannah said again, slowly moving her hands in the vague direction of her bag. Maybe she could use her old keys to shove into the guy’s eyes and take her son back. It was a dumb idea, but what else could she do right now, other than beg? “Please, don’t hurt my baby,” she said.

 

“Scream, and he’s dead,” the man said in a low, gravelly voice.

 

Hannah shook her head. “No, no, Salvatore won’t let you. Please. Please, just put him down and take me. I’ll go with you. I’ll go anywhere you want. Do anything you want. Please. Just. Put him down.”

 

The man aimed the gun at her and squinted his eyes, and Hannah knew that she was about to be killed. If only I brought the gun from the cabin, she thought belatedly, the sick taste of bile filling up her mouth.

 

Just as the gun went off, Hannah dove down to the floor, crawling along as quickly as possible to shove herself under the hospital bed. There were three more gunshots—pop, pop, pop!—but then she heard the sound of footsteps running past her, and she shoved herself out from under the bed, taking off after the kidnapper.

 

“Stop him! Stop that man, he’s taking my baby, he’s getting away!” she shrieked at the hapless bystanders in the hallway before she broke into a run, rushing as fast as she could after the man.

 

She had almost caught up with him at the end of the hall when he suddenly turned around. This is it. This is where I die, Hannah thought, freezing in place as the man pointed the gun at her. There was nowhere to hide. Nowhere to run. Just death, looking her right in the eyes.

 

But at the last second the man turned the gun around and pointed it to Alex’s head. Alex cried out, suddenly wailing desperately, and Hannah felt her heart fall down into her stomach, threatening to continue to drop down and crash into the earth.

 

“Follow me, and your little baby eats lead. Stay fucking put,” the man said before breaking off into a run. Hannah’s feet burned to follow, especially when Alex’s cries grew softer and softer as the man went further away, but she froze on the spot.

 

A second later, Alex’s voice disappeared entirely, and Hannah’s legs gave out from underneath her, her entire body crashing to the ground in a heap of limbs.

 

“Miss, miss!” a voice said as someone leaned over her, trying to get her to stand back up. “Miss, it’s going to be okay. The police have been called.” But the voice sounded fuzzier and farther away with every second, dissolving into noises that Hannah could no longer understand, her brain switching off entirely as darkness consumed her.

 

When she awoke in a hospital bed sometime later, she knew what she had to do.

 

She reached into her pocket for her phone and texted Evan. There was no point in avoiding it anymore. It didn’t matter if anyone tracked her. There was nothing left to lose. Everything she’d ever loved had been taken away.