Chapter 10
Celia went looking for Wilder, she needed to speak to him, to tell him that she knew the truth now. He was looking after Conrad, giving him a share of the property because he believed that his brother deserved it as much as he did. And Conrad had lied, he had manipulated the truth to make her believe that Wilder was a despicable man.
Celia was running down the corridor towards the porch outside in search of Wilder when Conrad’s hands grabbed her waist from behind and she shrieked.
“Stop screaming! I know you want this.” She heard him breathe into her ears. Conrad’s arms were crossed over the front of her own body and he held her like that tightly. She was breathing hard, afraid now of what might happen. What he might make her do that would push Wilder away from her forever.
“You are just a simple girl, Celia. You don’t understand the complications of the world.” She heard him say. The laugh in his voice had returned. He was enjoying Celia struggling against him, trying to get free. He held her tightly, facing forward; his hand slowly creeping up her body.
“I know everything Conrad. Let me go! You’ve been lying to me about all of this.” She shrieked, not afraid of who might hear her.
Conrad yanked her by the hair towards him, and she yelped.
“Shut up. I’m not a liar. I told you what you needed to hear. You don’t need to know everything. You’re just our servant’s grand-daughter and that is all you are.” Conrad’s voice was slippery; he was breathing hard through his nose and his hand had now reached Celia’s right breast. She struggled against him, trying to get free but he was holding her tightly.
She couldn’t kick him or reach him, and now she was growing desperate.
“If you don’t let me go Conrad I’m going to scream. You can’t do this to me.” Celia blubbered, hot tears pricking the back of her eyelids.
“I can do whatever I want. I am the master of this house and you have to do as I say.” Conrad said, before giving her breast a tight painful squeeze. Celia gasped and tears had begun to roll down her eyes; when she heard Wilder’s voice.
“I am the master of this house, little brother and if you don’t let her go I’ll make sure your legs are too broken for you to walk.” Wilder’s voice was the same deep and harsh, brimming with rage and yet he wasn’t yelling. He was much more calm than he was in the past few days. His voice had an immediate effect on Celia, even though she couldn’t see him she felt her blood beginning to pump with excitement into her veins.
Conrad’s grip on her body relaxed and Celia slipped out of his arms and whipped around to face both the brothers.
“You need to stay out of this, Wilder. She is not your wife and you have no authority over her.” Conrad’s laugh had gone. He had turned to his brother with clenched jaws and nostrils flaring. To Celia’s surprise, Wilder smiled at his brother. A smile that she had seen so seldom that every time he did it she was too surprised to speak. It was a handsome rugged smile, making his cheeks stretch, his blue eyes glitter.
“She isn’t my wife, you’re right Conrad. But she isn’t your property either. Just like this ranch isn’t. You are a guest in my house and it’s time you understood that.” Wilder was speaking evenly still, ignoring Celia’s presence and keeping his watchful eyes on Conrad the whole time.
“She wants this!” Conrad yelled, flipping his head to look at her. Celia backed away into a wall. She was too terrified of Conrad now, of the whole situation, to be able to speak or defend herself.
When Conrad looked at her, Wilder took a few steps towards him. Conrad was startled, and he nearly ducked, making it clear that he was indeed scared of his brother. He had every reason to be scared of him.
“Leave her alone, Conrad. I’m telling you this for the last time.” Wilder growled. Conrad didn’t reply, but instead stared back at his brother with rage in his eyes.
“You’re dreaming if you think that she wants you. None of them want you Wilder. You have nothing to offer any woman.” Conrad managed to speak up.
“Shut up Conrad. Don’t put words in my mouth.” Celia found herself screaming. She couldn’t take it anymore. She couldn’t remain silent any more while Conrad continued to bruise his brother’s ego. Wilder needed affection, someone to believe in him. And none of Conrad’s words or actions were helping.
Both the men were looking at her now.
“I do want him. I never wanted you, but I’m in love with him.” Celia blurted out, and was instantly conscious of what she had just said. She could feel her cheeks flushing, the back of her neck growing hot. The brothers were still staring at her and when she looked up she saw that a small thin smile had started to appear on Wilder’s face.
“Get out of her Conrad, before I fling you out of the house myself.” Wilder turned to his brother. Conrad looked at them both, ground his teeth in anger and then brushed past Celia to walk back to his bedroom.
The house was ill lit and she could barely see Wilder’s face except for the silvery light that the moon was splashing in that spot. It had turned Wilder’s face into a bright white, as they stood there in silence. They were looking at each other. Celia’s heart was racing, beating out of her chest as she studied his face, his expression. She hadn’t lied, she loved this man. Everything she knew about him, she loved. She felt safe around him, and she wasn’t afraid. Wilder Moore would never be able to hurt her.
“I’m sorry for Conrad’s behavior.” Wilder said, breaking the silence after several minutes.
“You don’t have to apologize for him. It’s as much my fault. I suppose I encouraged him.” Celia admitted, wringing her hands together. She was nervous because she was excited, she had wanted this for so long…just to be able to speak to Wilder. To be this close to him and alone with him again.
“Why did you encourage him, Celia?” He asked her. She hung her head low and then looked up at him again.
“Because I was mad at you. Because I thought you didn’t want me. I suppose I wanted to make you jealous, or teach you a lesson…I don’t know. I was wrong, whatever I did.” She replied. Wilder was still looking at her. His blue eyes had softened. He wasn’t wearing his hat, and his sandy blonde hair fell thickly around his neck. His beard was still growing; he hadn’t shaved in days. Celia had crane her neck up to look at him, he was much taller than her.
“You succeeded then, Celia. Because I was very jealous, and very angry.”
“I know what happened with your wife.” She cut in. Wilder raised his eyebrows, but he wasn’t upset to hear her say it.
“I know what she did, what Conrad did…why did you force her to leave and allowed him to stay after that?” She asked.
“Because he’s my brother. Katherine was an outsider, a girl I knew only for a few months. She had married me for the money, I had always known that. And I married her because I wanted an heir for the ranch.” Wilder explained. Celia watched him intently as he spoke, he didn’t seem angry any more. It was like a dam inside him had burst open and all of this was just spilling out of him. He wanted to tell her, he believed that she needed to know.
“And Conrad was foolish, and jealous of me and arrogant. But I couldn’t just kick him out. He would have nowhere to go. Our father had left him with nothing.” Wilder continued.
Celia hung her head, ashamed that she had misjudged Wilder for a different man.
“So you don’t hate all women? You don’t hate me?” She managed to ask, meeting his eyes with a bite of her lower lip.
Wilder took a step in her direction and she saw the smile form on his face.
“Of course I don’t hate you, Celia. I wanted you with a burning desire from the moment I saw you at the train station. I hated myself for wanting you. I wanted to stop myself but I couldn’t.” Wilder was speaking in words that Celia had never imagined he could use. She stepped towards him and reached for his face tenderly. He was looking down at her, her lips began to quiver.
“Wilder, I want you too. Don’t listen to anything Conrad says. I want you. I love you.” She couldn’t hold herself back any more, she stood up on her toes and kissed him.
Wilder’s hands enveloped her small waist as he held her to himself, kissing her, pushing his tongue into her mouth. Celia sighed as she kissed him back. This was all she ever wanted. She explored his chest with her fingers, dropping her hands to his groin where she could feel a growing bulge.
This time he didn’t stop her, he thrust himself towards her and Celia pulled away from him and smiled.
“I thought you didn’t want me. I thought you were incapable of wanting anyone.” She whispered to him. Their foreheads were knocking against each-others, she was breathing in his air. Wilder smiled at her.
“I love you Celia. Of-course I want you. That first night happened because I couldn’t control myself. I can always control myself.” Wilder insisted, his hand now beginning to explore the front of her dress. She could see the desperation in his eyes again. She knew what he wanted, she wanted the same. He needed to be inside her so that they could feel whole again. This time apart had made them both desperate. They needed each other.
“What is going to happen with Conrad?” She asked him, pulling her face away from him as he was about to kiss her.
“He is going to go fulfill his dream. I’ll give him the money he needs. He can go back to New York and try making a living there again. He’s unhappy here, bored and lonely. And I don’t need him here.” Wilder said, running his large hands through her own unruly curls. He seemed to be enjoying feeling the soft texture of her hair, he looked at her face and then grabbed both her cheeks. Wilder kissed her on her lips before she had the opportunity to say anything to him again. When Celia pulled away, she licked her lips and smiled at him.
“You are a good person, Wilder. You are a good brother and you are a good man for taking care of my grandfather for so long.” She said and placed her head on his chest. She could hear his heart beating and she smiled again. Her first instincts had been right. This was a man who she could get to know, spend her life with. This wasn’t a man she needed to be afraid of.
“Thank you Celia. You know, nobody has ever said that to me? Cowboys deserve some kindness and compliments too.” Wilder said and Celia burst into a laugh. She couldn’t help herself. Wilder was laughing too. They were sharing their first laugh as a couple and Celia knew that she had never been happier. Her grandfather was right, nobody around him understood Wilder Moore for the man he was. But she was determined to, he was right, even cowboys needed to be understood.