Chapter 6
Celia knew she needed to talk with Wilder. She hadn’t, she didn’t want to believe a word that Conrad had said to her. The fact that Wilder could be dangerous, that he had a wife who had left him…none of that made sense. The way she had felt the previous night in Wilder’s arms, she couldn’t have felt if she was afraid of him, if he was the kind of person who might hurt her.
Wilder was nowhere in sight. Celia prepared a bowl of soup for her grandfather and then set off towards the back of the house to look for him. She crossed the porch, then walked along the stables, she thought she could hear his voice in the back, talking to the animals. She needed to see him. This was happening too fast, she had only just met him, but she had given him her virginity, she was falling in love with a man she barely knew. But even if she didn’t know him, she knew that Conrad couldn’t be truthful. Wilder wasn’t the man his brother thought he was.
Celia stopped when she saw him. Wilder was several feet deep in a pit of wet mud with a rope in his hand. He had rubber boots on, but his jeans were nonetheless stained and muddy. His shirt sleeves were rolled up and his hat was tipped back on his head. He was oblivious to the scorching sun.
She called out to him, but he didn’t seem to hear her.
“Wilder!” She yelled again, and this time he turned slowly where he was standing. Even from the distance Celia noticed how his eyes changed when he saw her. He remained standing where he was, not making a move in her direction. He wanted her to come to him.
“Can I talk to you?” She asked, panting. Her nerves were wrecked, she didn’t want Conrad to see them talking…and mostly, she was excited to see him. That was the effect that Wilder had on her, every time she laid her eyes on him.
Wilder had still not moved, waved or said a word. Almost like he couldn’t understand her.
“Wilder! Can we talk?” She said again.
“Sure.” She heard him say, but he still wasn’t willing to come to her.
Celia lifted up her dress with both her hands and confidently stepped into the pit, her feet sinking several inches. She was wearing a pair of leather sandals which were sure to be ruined by what she was doing now, but she didn’t care. She needed to get this over with.
She strode towards him, dragging her feet through the mud, aware that it was staining her long pale calves. Aware also that Wilder was looking at her, with a strange smile on his face. Why did he like to watch her embarrass herself?
“This is ridiculous. Why wouldn’t you just come over there?” She said, as she walked towards him. The wet mud splashed on her dress too and Celia had to try very hard not to wince. When she looked up she noticed that Wilder was studying her dress, her mud stained legs, her body.
“You wanted to talk to me, I didn’t see the point of going to you.” He said, tugging at his rope, at the other end of which a muddy sheep was tied.
Celia sighed and met his gaze. His deep blue eyes were boring into her, she licked her lips and noticed the way he watched her every movement.
“I just wanted to ask you, well I wanted to talk to you.” Celia said, fumbling with her words. She was convinced that she needed to talk to him, but when it came to it she didn’t know exactly what she was going to say. She hadn’t come prepared for this conversation.
“You’ve mentioned that already. What did you want to say?” Wilder asked. His brows had crossed and he looked irritated, like she was wasting his time.
“Just…well, about…” She tried to form the words again, looking about her, trying to find the right way to broach the subject. But Wilder interrupted her.
“Is this about what happened last night? Because I thought you were fine with us not talking about it.” He said sternly, like he was losing his patience with a naughty child. Celia felt offended. She had expected him to treat her with a little more respect after what had happened, after he had made it so clear to her that he wanted her.
“It is in a way.” She said sharply, still clutching her dress up above her knees. Wilder shook his head, like he was disappointed and then looked away from her.
“I thought you weren’t going to be one of those girls.” He said, with a sarcastic smirk on his face.
“What girls?” Celia asked, her pride had been wounded by now.
“Who would care about something like that.” He continued and their gazes met again.
“How dare you? You thought I was the kind of girl who just spreads her legs for anybody?” She said, her voice tearing as she spoke. Didn’t he know that he had taken her virginity? That there had been nobody before him? How could he say something like this?
She heard him laugh. A small laugh, but one that hurt her soul. He thought all of this was a joke!
“So it meant nothing to you? It was done, gone, a thing of the past for you?” Celia was yelling now, trying to hold back her temper but she couldn’t.
“What else was it supposed to be? We had just met. I don’t even know you.” Wilder said, clicking his tongue at his sheep. He still had that smirk on his face that was driving Celia crazy. She couldn’t believe it. Could Conrad actually have been right?
“If I did know you I would have known that you have a wife.” She said, a little more calmly now. Wilder’s face changed instantly. The smirk disappeared and he lunged at her. The rope had dropped from his hand and he was holding her, his hands on both her arms. Squeezing tightly. She could feel the strength in his arms, how easy it would be for him to hurt her.
But Celia looked back at him boldly, meeting his eyes directly.
“What did you just say to me?” He asked, growled.
“That I know about your wife, now. I know you’re a married man. You drove your wife away. She left you.” Celia continued. Her voice was choking in her throat as she felt the pressure of his hands on her arms. It wasn’t painful yet but it would be if he kept holding her like that any longer.
Wilder’s teeth were gritted as he looked at her. Their faces were mere inches apart. She could see the small dark pupils in the center of his blue eyes, how his thin red lips curved on the sides, how his jaw was peppered with a soft dark beard that he hadn’t shaved today.
“Who told you this? Conrad?” Wilder growled again, his grip tightening on her arms. Celia was breathing heavily again. A few more seconds and she decided she would scream, scream at the top of her lungs and hope that someone might hear her.
“Let me go, you brute!” She said. And suddenly he did.
Wilder released his grip on her arms and Celia breathed in deeply. She used her hands to rub the spots where he had been holding her. Red spots marked her pale skin there as she looked at him with violent eyes.
“So it is true.” She said, her nostrils were flaring. Wilder stepped away from her, unwilling to look at her face any more.
“Just get out of my sight.” He said in a low haggard voice.
“So you hate women because your wife left you? What did you do to her?” Celia asked, unconcerned that her dress was now trailing the mud and was essentially ruined.
“I don’t want to talk about my wife with you. Just get out of here!” This time he had yelled, barked at her. She could see that his face had turned red and the veins on the sides of his neck had popped out. He was angry, enraged and now she could see how frightening Wilder could be when he was actually mad at someone.
“You don’t want to talk about her with me because I mean nothing to you!” She yelled back at him, her own throat beginning to grow hoarse now.
“That’s right. You mean nothing! Just leave!” He yelled again, and Celia turned on her heels and started wading back through the muddy pit towards dry land. She didn’t bother to hitch her dress up. She didn’t care about anything anymore. She was so ashamed of herself, so disappointed in thinking that the previous night had meant something to both of them. Conrad was right. His brother was a maniac.
“You’ve come here to look after your grandfather.” Wilder called out to her just as she stepped out of the pit. Celia turned to look at him once more, her breasts were rising and falling with every painful breath that she took.
“That is what you’re here for, and don’t forget that he just works for us. Remember your place here.” Wilder said and then turned around, tugging his sheep out of the pit on the other side.
She couldn’t believe what she had just heard. The things he had just told her. He wanted to remind her that she was beneath them. That he had slept with her only because he could, not because of any other reason. At least Conrad was asking permission, he wanted to make a deal, he wasn’t just seducing her and then flinging her to the side after it was done.
Celia started walking back to the house, leaving a trail of drying mud as she went. She wanted to cry, to scream, to punch a wall…anything to make this feeling of humiliation go away. Wilder had violently put her in her place. He had a wife. He hated women, he couldn’t stand her. What was she even thinking? That a man like him could want anything more than a one night stand in the dark?
Her grandfather was still sitting on the porch when Celia climbed the steps back.
“Where have you been? You’re all muddy. Were you in the pig sty?” He asked her, a humorous smile appearing on his face. She tried to smile back at him. He was the reason she was here. Wilder had reminded her of it, she needed to stick to her duties. But Celia couldn’t smile, she couldn’t forget the way he had gripped her arms, like he didn’t care if she got hurt or not.
“I was just talking to Wilder. I’m going to quickly wash up and then we can go for a walk out front. You can be in your wheelchair.” She said, wiping her soiled hands on her dress.
“I would like that very much. I’ll wait for you here.” Her grandfather said as she pushed open the screen door and stepped back in the house.
“Oh, Celia. How is your day coming along?” She had bumped into Conrad who had just climbed down the stairs. It had been at least an hour or more since breakfast. He had taken that much time to get ready, and he wasn’t even dressed for a day out in the fields with the animals. He looked like he was ready for a game of golf.
“I’m taking grandpa for a walk. Do you want to join us?” She found herself asking him.