15
Dating wasn’t going to kill Tessa, but prepping for the date just might. Murphy wouldn’t tell her where they were going, only that she could dress casually, and he would be the one driving. Considering most guys wanted to drive anyway, she wasn’t sure why he’d even mentioned the latter. Somehow, she was about to go on her first real date with Murphy. They’d had sex, sure, had even gone to play miniature golf. And considering that they were living in the same house, they ate meals together often, but going out with him tonight would be a little different. Or maybe a whole lot different.
“Are you ready to go?” Murphy leaned in her doorway, his hands in his pockets and a small grin on his face. He looked a little better than he had that morning, considering he’d had dark circles under his eyes from not sleeping and she’d forced him to take a nap. She hadn’t let any of his brothers wake him up with their texts or phone calls like they had been prone to do recently. Everyone was so worried about Murphy; sometimes, they forgot that most days he just needed rest. She was guilty of that herself and hadn’t wanted to leave the house tonight as it was. She had offered just to stay in, but he hadn’t wanted his girlfriend to not have a real date.
His girlfriend.
How on earth had that happened? She wasn’t sure, but she couldn’t help the warm feeling sliding through her even as she panicked a bit. She’d only had one serious relationship in her life, and it hadn’t ended well. Hell, it had ended with a restraining order and bruises on more than just her heart, but Murphy wasn’t her ex, and she needed to keep remembering that. It was just hard to put herself out there sometimes. The one time she’d thought she was good enough for the perfect man her parents might approve of, she’d ended up picking the worst man of all.
Murphy wasn’t like him, and that was the one thing she could cling to when she got nervous about how quickly they were getting serious. Not that either of them talked about their future together more than wanting to go out in public and be a real couple, but that was still a lot more serious than anything she’d had before. She wasn’t going to date anyone else when she was with Murphy, and she knew he was the same way with her. This was nothing like Brent and whatever they’d had.
This was Murphy.
This was important.
And this was scary as all hell.
“Tessa? You’re in your head again.” Murphy walked toward her, and she shook her head, annoyed with herself for letting her thoughts go off on yet another tangent. When he cupped her face with his palm, she leaned into his hand, enjoying the heat of him, the feel of him.
“Sorry, I just have a lot on my mind. But I think I’m ready to go.” She looked down at her stylishly ripped jeans that went right above her ankle boots that also had a very high heel on them. She’d put on layered silk tanks with a couple of necklaces and a short jacket in case anywhere they went had too much air conditioning. All in all, she just needed a fedora, and she’d suddenly be a twenty-something hipster, but it sort of worked as an ensemble.
Murphy’s gaze traveled the length of her body up to where her cleavage peeked out of her lacy bra above the tanks’ necklines and into her eyes. “You look fucking sexy as hell, and it’s taking everything in me not to strip you out of those clothes and fuck you hard on your dresser. But, I promised you a night out, and we are going to do that. But when we get home, I’ll fuck you on the dresser, maybe bend you over the edge of the bed, and eat you out a couple times just for good measure.”
She snorted a laugh even as her thighs trembled at his words. The man could seriously make her wet just by talking. Now that was some serious talent.
“Are you sure we can’t just get to all of that now and skip the date? I’m sure you’ll be a wonderful date, but I really like your penis, and I’d like to get to know him a little bit better.”
Murphy barked out a laugh and put his hands on her hips to bring her forward. She could feel the hard lines of his rigid cock pressed against her stomach, and it was all she could do to hold back a moan. She seriously couldn’t get enough of this man, and she had to remind herself that they were taking things slowly. Murphy’s own body was trying to hurt him, and she’d be damned if she hurt him, too.
“I’m taking you out on a date, damn it. Then we’ll fuck until we’re exhausted and can sleep the rest of the weekend away. Are you going to be okay walking for a bit in those shoes? I forgot to say we might be walking tonight.”
She frowned, disappointed and pleased at his words since he seemed to want her as much as she wanted him, before looking down at her heeled boots. “I own higher heels, and because these are boots with a slight wedge, they’re actually a lot more comfortable than some of the pumps I own. How much walking are we talking about? Can’t you just tell me where we’re going? Then I’ll decide if I need to change shoes.”
Murphy let out a breath before kissing her softly. Damn, she loved his kisses. “We’re going to one of my favorite breweries to take a tour. There are free samples along the way and a lot more samples at the end for us. Plus…pretzels. I mean, what more do you need besides beer and pretzels?”
“But you can’t drink. How much fun can you have not being able to drink on a brewery tour?” Though the idea sounded right up her alley, and she couldn’t help but think of the last tour she’d done. That winery with Brent had so not been her thing, but this? This was pure Murphy and Tessa.
Murphy tucked a piece of her hair behind her ear and gave her one of those soft smiles that she knew was dangerous. Because the more he looked like that, the more she was certain she was going to fall in love with him. And she wasn’t sure how she felt about that.
“One of us would need to drive anyway; unless we took a cab or one of those car services. And all I really want to do is be with you while we go learn about how beer is made and what flavors they’re making today and what their favorite IPA is.”
“Neither of us like IPAs, and we both talked about the fact that we can’t wait till this trend is done.”
“Be that as it may, it’ll still be fun, even if all I get to do is eat pretzels and have some other nonalcoholic beers. You never know, they could actually be good this time.”
Tessa gave him a cautious look but nodded. “As long as you’re fine with that, I think it sounds fun. And you know beer and pretzels are kind of my favorite thing.”
Murphy leaned forward and licked her bottom lip, sending shivers down her spine. “What about Jell-O?”
She swallowed hard, wanting him more now than she ever had before. “Jell-O’s up there, too.”
Murphy kissed her again. “Good.” He cleared his throat. “Now, really, those shoes? You going to be okay?”
She nodded. “Yep. Though you might have to rub my feet when we get home.” It was still weird to her that she kept saying “home” in relation to Murphy, but she wasn’t going to go there.
He winced. “Feet? I don’t know, babe. Feet are kind of weird.”
She smacked him lightly on the arm and rolled her eyes. “Then no eating me out. Sorry. I know it’s your favorite thing.”
“Damn right, it’s my favorite thing. I love being between your legs, sucking your clit and licking your cream. I want to bite and taste every inch of you, bury my face in that sweet pussy until you come hard, squeezing those thighs around my head. Eating pussy is not just for you, babe. I love it. I take my time and make sure you come, don’t I?”
As she was about to come right then just thinking about it, she could only nod. “Uh, we should go before I make my panties any wetter.”
Murphy groaned and adjusted himself behind his zipper. “Yeah, driving with a hard-on isn’t easy.”
She winked and reached out to cup him over his jeans. “I know, baby, I know. Don’t worry, though, I’ll take care of you and Little Murphy.”
“Damn right, you will.” She squeezed, and he groaned. “And I’ll rub your feet because you’re worth it.”
“And not just because of my mouth?” she asked, laughing.
“Well, your mouth is part of it for sure, but I really like the rest of you, too.” He kissed her again, then took her hand off his crotch and led her out of her bedroom. “And we’re going to be late if we keep fucking around in here. As much as I love dirty talk, it’s making me sweat.”
She fanned herself and laughed, picking up her cross-body purse on the way out. “You’re not the only one. Whew.” Grateful they were headed toward his car and finally getting out of the house, she let her thoughts wander. She was falling in love with him so hard and so fast, she could barely keep up, but she knew if she dwelled on that, she’d only make things worse.
Just for tonight, she thought. Just live for tonight. That was all she could do.
“I might actually be too stuffed,” Tessa said, eyeing the free pilsner staring at her. “How many pretzels did we eat?”
Murphy let out a groan and wrapped his arm around her shoulders over the chair. “I think too many. And then however many chips, and the mini burgers, and those onion rings. I didn’t realize they’d added a whole dinner and appetizer section to the Saturday night tour. I think I ate enough for four people.”
“I’m pretty sure I ate the same amount as you did, and now I don’t think I’m going to be able to roll myself to the car to get home.” She leaned on him, resting her head on his shoulder. They’d spent the evening eating and drinking their way through the history of the brewery and beer making in general. She’d really enjoyed the chemistry part of it and had made Murphy laugh hysterically when she’d told him that. Though she had known him for what seemed like forever now, they were still learning more and more about each other.
Now, they were sitting at one of the tables outside the café area and were relatively alone. Others were either heading home or finding more food and drinks to indulge in. Tessa wasn’t sure how they were all doing it. She was past stuffed, and really just enjoying sitting with Murphy and talking.
“So, this isn’t the first time you’ve taken this tour?” Tessa asked after a while.
“I took it once before with my brothers after I turned twenty-one. So it’s been a few years. They’d wanted to take me on my twenty-first birthday, but mom passed away right around then.”
Tessa squeezed his thigh but didn’t say anything, letting him finish out his thoughts.
“I think she was just so exhausted. Though they said it was a brain aneurysm, I figure it started because she hadn’t really been taking care of herself. She took care of me for so long. Dad died only a short time later. A heart attack at his age.” There was a tone of sadness in his voice that pulled at Tessa and made her want to gather him up in her arms and never let go. But she knew he wouldn’t have appreciated that right then.
“It’s not your fault, you know. And it’s not your fault now if we all want to make sure we take care of you.” The words were spoken quietly, but she knew he had heard them.
“Most parts of me know. Some days are a little harder than others.”
“I never knew my real father. He was a drugged-out mess that had left my mom before I could even walk. My mom wasn’t much better. I probably would’ve been better off if she had left me, too. In the end, she overdosed, and I almost starved as a four-year-old in our crappy one-bedroom apartment in the worst part of town. I only remember things in patches, and even then, sometimes I think they’re just glimpses from movies and books rather than memories of my birth parents. Grace and Chris took me into their home two days after the police found me. They started the adoption paperwork right then, not even waiting to see if I would fit into their household. I still don’t know how I ended up so lucky in the end. Grace and Chris are my parents. They’re the best things that have ever happened to me. And I almost fucked it all up because I didn’t know what to do with it.”
She hadn’t meant to say all that and wasn’t sure why she had. Only Liz knew exactly what had happened when she’d been a kid who didn’t care and an unruly and ungrateful teenager. But Murphy had shared something that scared him deep down, and she knew he deserved at least that much from her. She couldn’t tell herself that she was slowly falling in love with him, and yet keep the most personal parts of herself hidden.
Murphy kissed the top of her head. “From what I saw when I met your parents, they seem like wonderful people. I’m glad you have them. I’m glad that they were there for you. I don’t want to think about what could have happened if they hadn’t been there.”
Tessa nodded and swallowed hard. “I wasn’t grateful at first. Or rather, I didn’t know how to be grateful. I was such a stupid shit. When I was a little kid, I think I was so scared that someone would take me away that I tried too hard to be perfect. Then, somehow, I got it into my head that I needed to test them or something. So I started smoking. I had sex far too young. I started shoplifting stupid shit like gum. I skipped school, and I talked back to my teachers and my parents. I was just a horrible, horrible kid. And Grace and Chris never deserved a single moment of it. They didn’t let me get away with anything that they caught, and I know that was the right decision. I was grounded, forced to see counselors, and Grace and Chris tried to talk to me and figure out what was wrong. Yet I still fucked things up.”
Tessa closed her eyes, remembering the disappointment on her parents’ faces, but they had never given up on her. Not once.
She’d been so damn lucky—and so damn clueless.
“I got arrested for stealing makeup that I didn’t even like, and I think that was the final straw. They told me that they loved me and that they knew I was hurting, but that I couldn’t continue on that path. They were going to homeschool me and get me away from the people that kept pulling me down, and told me that they would do all in their power to make me realize I was loved.”
She wiped at a tear, and Murphy squeezed her tightly.
“Then I got arrested again when I was sixteen for drinking. Only this time, they didn’t come and pick me up. I thought they’d finally given up on me.” She swallowed back her tears. “It turned out they’d gotten into a car accident on the way to the station to pick me up and deal with things, and Grace had fractured her collarbone thanks to the seatbelt.”
“Oh, baby.”
“That was a turning point for me because I wasn’t just hurting myself anymore. She wouldn’t have been on the road, and the driver who dropped his sandwich on his lap and ended up in the wrong lane wouldn’t have hit my parents if it hadn’t been for me.”
“Babe.” One word and she knew what Murphy was thinking.
“I know it wasn’t totally my fault, but I was partially to blame. Anyway, I cleaned up my act after that. I had to. I went to school—a new school with new friends because I wasn’t doing well at the other one frankly—and I excelled. I didn’t drink, or smoke, or do anything stupid like I had before. I swore off boys. I got into college after taking a gap year at a community college to up my grades, and I was doing well…until I met my ex.” She couldn’t even say his name without bile filling her throat, so she didn’t even bother.
Murphy’s arm tightened around her again before he turned so they faced each other. “What happened?”
She winced, not knowing exactly how much he knew about her folks. They’d talked some, but she wasn’t sure. “You know my parents come from money, right? And that they’ve earned even more by being cautious and hard-working?”
He nodded. “I know a little from what you’ve told me and from seeing the plans they want for the house.”
“Okay, so my parents are so not like rich people from the movies with yachts and not wearing white after labor day and all that jazz. But some of their friends are. And one of those friends had a nephew.” She pinched the bridge of her nose. “He was from Denver but not near me, so I hadn’t known him when he was younger. We met in college, and I thought he was the dreamiest guy ever. Andy was bright, sweet, caring, handsome, and totally fit in with what I thought my parents wanted me to have.”
“What did he do?” Murphy asked, his voice tight.
“He started to try and control my life. He thought I would be the perfect Mrs. to his Mr., and that wasn’t something I was thinking of at that time. I was in college, and my best friend was Liz. So we worked our behinds off to get amazing grades so we could go into the next phase of our educations and then get kickass jobs. That was my plan, and yet Andy wanted to derail that. It started off slowly but got worse over time. He started yelling and acting like a completely different person.”
She paused.
“Then he hit me.”
Murphy’s eyes went dark. “Did you hit him back and call the cops?”
She couldn’t help but smile and cup his face. “I didn’t hit him back. He only hurt me the once, but it was bad enough that I couldn’t fight back. I called the cops and my parents, and there was a restraining order put in place after I filed charges. But because of family money and the fact that he’d never done anything wrong before in his life blah blah blah…he got off with just a warning that he couldn’t be near me.”
“I want to find this bastard and kick his ass. That scumfucker doesn’t deserve to be outside of jail.”
Tessa kissed Murphy then, feeling a weight lift off her chest for the first time in forever. “Thank you. I didn’t mean to tell you all of that tonight. I kind of wanted to slowly tell you a bit of where I came from, but it all rushed out.”
He slid his hands down her shoulders, so gently that she knew he was thinking of what her ex had done. “I’m glad you felt that you could tell me.” He kissed her with a bare brush of lips. “Now I think we should go because the place is closing and I just want to hold you, okay?”
She pulled back and looked around and noticed that the lights were indeed dimming and people were cleaning up. “Oh, wow, we’ve been out here awhile.”
“I don’t mind,” he said with a soft smile. “Let’s get you home.”
Tessa took his hand and leaned into him as they walked to his car. She’d never opened up to another man like she had with Murphy, and yet knowing that she had to him told her so much more about what she felt about him than anything else she could have done.
But when Murphy froze beside her, she froze, as well, ice creeping down her spine.
“What the fuck?” he growled.
Tessa blinked, not quite sure what she was seeing. There were still at least a dozen cars in the parking lot, but only one had all four tires slashed, and a window knocked out.
Murphy’s.
“Oh, God,” she sputtered. “What the hell?”
“I’m calling the cops,” Murphy growled. “Fucking punks. Come on, we’re going inside where I can keep you safe.” She let him lead her toward the building as he called the police, but she couldn’t help but look behind her.
No other car in the parking lot had damage. Only his. But why? It didn’t make any sense, and she didn’t have the answers. All she did have was the need to hold Murphy close because something was going on.
She just had no idea what it was.