9
Murphy was pretty sure he’d end up with a strained groin soon if he didn’t get his dick under control. It had been two hours since he’d had Tessa’s sweaty, naked, curvy, and fucking perfect body pressed tightly against his, and he couldn’t get the memory out of his mind.
Her breasts had been full, high, and tight, and more than enough to fill his large hands. Her nipples had been hard against his chest, and he’d almost sent out a shocked moan at the sensation once he realized exactly what had happened. Her hips had flared out, wide enough for him to hold onto as he pounded into her from behind. Of course, he’d noticed them right away since he’d always had a fixation on her hips, but he had gripped her upper arms rather than her delicious hips so he didn’t do something stupid like bend her over. Of course, with his grip the way it had been, he could have easily lifted her onto his cock and fucked her hard against the wall. So, of course, he hadn’t done that.
But then her thighs had spread ever so slightly, and his own thigh had slid between them, her pussy wet and ready on top of him. She’d been so hot, so damn amazing, that he’d almost come right then. He’d just about died and gone to heaven, and he’d only had the barest touch of her—in a situation that neither of them would have ever thought possible.
He both despised and loved his broken shower now, but he had a feeling there would be no going back after this. He’d try his best, but something had changed. He’d seen the interest in her eyes, and it wasn’t the same as their usual flirting.
He just had no idea what to do, because when she’d mentioned his cock and his piercing, he’d almost burst…again. Sure, he was attracted to Tessa, but there was no way he should be wanting more than what they had. He couldn’t continue to desire her like this and not make things weird for them. She’d opened up her home to him, and he wasn’t about to jeopardize her graciousness or their friendship because he couldn’t keep his dick under control with her around.
Murphy wasn't sure what he was going to do, but he knew he would have to do something. He wasn't sure he’d be able to be just friends, or sit there and watch her be who she was. Because Tessa was freaking amazing. She was caring, funny, sexy as hell…just a really deep person. Everything she did was either for someone else, or somehow geared towards helping other people.
And it didn’t help that all he wanted to do was strip her down and make love to her until they were both exhausted. With everything else going on in his life, he knew doing anything to jeopardize their friendship would ruin everything that he had, and might even break him in the end.
“Are you okay over there?” Max’s words brought Murphy out of his thoughts, and he shook his head, trying to keep a neutral expression on his face.
It wasn’t working.
“I’m fine.”
“You’re not fine. There’s something going on in that brain of yours. So, why don't you just tell me what it is, because we're going to be sitting here for a few hours. We might as well figure out how to make everything work. I mean, we’ve known each other for years. We may not have seen each other for a few of those years, but I know when you have something on your mind that you need to get out. So, why don’t you just tell me, and we’ll figure it out. It’s a woman, isn’t it?”
Murphy turned to look at his friend and winced. “It’s a woman.”
“It’s always a woman.” Max shook his head and reached out to lightly pat Murphy’s free hand. Max had ink up and down his arms, and Murphy figured that he had tattoos down the rest of his body, too. Murphy had some ink, but not as much as Max. Somehow, the ink worked for both of them, and if Murphy, no, when Murphy got better, he knew he would have to get more. You only got tattoos when something was important in your life. At least, that was what Murphy figured. He would beat this. He would get healthy. No matter what.
Once again, Murphy shook his head, annoyed with himself for letting his thoughts go down that path. Here he was, ready to spill his guts about Tessa to his old friend, and yet he couldn’t get the subject of his mortality out of his brain. There was seriously too much going on in his mind, and talking to Max would just have to help him. It had to.
“She’s my roommate.” Murphy sucked in a breath as soon as he got the words out and quickly looked around him, praying Liz hadn’t heard. The fact that she worked here was usually great because he always had family around him, but it made it really difficult to talk about her best friend when he didn’t want anyone to know about his feelings. Not that he exactly knew what his feelings were, but still.
Max smiled. “Your roommate? The hot one that’s friends with your soon-to-be sister-in-law?”
Murphy took another quick look around. “Do you think you could speak any louder? I’m not sure the building next door heard you.”
Max threw his head back and laughed. “Liz isn’t around. She’s not going to hear the fact that you might have a crush on her best friend, your roommate. Though, of course, the whole idea that you have the hots for your roommate is one of the best circumstances around, don’t you think?”
“I never should have told you this." Murphy rubbed his free hand over his forehead, trying to stave off the upcoming headache he knew would be around any minute. He was already exhausted, and the blood transfusion hadn’t given him any energy yet—it had just started. He had a feeling this whole conversation was going to end up giving him a migraine or an ulcer. But, of all people, telling Max was probably the best idea he had—not that it had been his idea in the first place. He couldn’t tell his brothers or any of his friends who worked with the Montgomerys. Everyone was so interconnected, it would eventually get back to Tessa. He just knew it. And he wasn’t ready for that. Hell, he didn’t even know how he felt. How was he supposed to make sure she knew what he felt?
“Yes, you should have told me. Not that you actually told me anything.” Max smiled again and sighed. “Why don't you just start from the beginning and tell me what's going on in your mind. Like I said, we have a while until we can get out of these chairs. We might as well make it interesting. And you know that healing takes every ounce of mental power and everything in our hearts to work. You can’t be so stressed out about other things in your life that you forget to take care of yourself. So, tell me, what is it about Tessa that’s leaving you in a hard place?”
Murphy winced at that description. “Maybe we shouldn’t mention the word hard when it comes to Tessa.”
Maxed cracked up laughing, and the other nurse on call walked in to make sure everything was okay. The two men brushed her off and said they were just joking around and promised not to disturb anyone else. While she thanked them, she said that seeing them laugh was worth any disruptions. Murphy figured there wasn't that much laughter in a room like this, and if telling Max about his feelings for Tessa brought a smile to his friend’s face, then so be it.
“Tessa and I are just friends. We've only been friends. Sure, the two of us have flirted on and off—okay, mostly on—since we met, but that doesn’t mean anything. We just like messing with each other. She’s freaking hot, and frankly, just a kickass person. If she were anyone else and not best friends with Liz, I would have probably already slept with her. Maybe even be in a relationship with her that is something more. But that’s not what happened, and she and I have been very careful to keep our flirting on a level we both could back down from easily.”
“And now you’re living with her,” Max provided.
“And now, I’m living with her,” Murphy mumbled. “I knew it would be weird to live with her. I mean, come on, I haven’t lived with anyone since I lived with my family back in the day. And before me, Tessa only lived with her best friend. Hell, I don’t even know if Tessa has ever lived with a man before. But despite that, I thought we were making it work. We were setting up boundaries and made sure we didn’t cross them. Sure, there was still some casual flirting, but it wasn’t like it used to be. We were making things work,” he repeated.
“Then what happened to change all of that?” Max asked.
“Other than the fact that my dick is perpetually hard around her, and I can't sleep through the night because all I keep thinking about and dreaming about is her in bed with me. And not even just on the bed. Sometimes, we’re in the shower. Or in the kitchen. In the car. Even on the couch. In my mind, I have crossed so many boundaries that I don’t even know how I can look her straight in the face anymore.”
“But you haven’t actually crossed those, right? I mean, you haven’t made her uncomfortable or acted on those thoughts?”
Murphy shook his head. “No, I’ve been good. Before this, she was dating some loser, so I was really careful not to make her feel weird. But now, that’s over, and…”
He wasn’t sure he could tell Max this part, but they were alone in the room and had quieted down enough that none of the nurses had come in to check on them.
“And?”
“And this morning, I saw her naked. Felt her naked. She saw me naked. Felt me naked. It was a whole lot of naked, and a whole lot of touching, and I don’t even know what to think about it.”
Murphy explained the events of that morning and everything that had been said. He even told Max about what Tessa had said about his piercing. It was way too much information and pretty mortifying, but he had to tell someone. It wasn’t like he could tell his brothers about something like that. Not when it came to Tessa anyway.
Max didn’t laugh, nor did he shake his head and look disappointed. Instead, the other man looked thoughtful.
“What?” Murphy asked, suddenly worried about what his friend would say.
“Do you like her?” Max asked quietly. “And not just because she’s hot. But do you like her?”
“Yes,” Murphy answered quickly, not even stopping to think about his answer.
“We only live once, Murphy. You, above anyone, know that. It's why we’re here. Because no matter how many times you want to reboot, how many times you want to start over, we only live once. So, if you like her, and you can't stop thinking about her, then maybe you should go for it. I’m not saying make it all about sex or even make it a serious relationship. But you should talk with her. Because there’s something in your heart that’s telling you that you need her in some way. You might not know what it means exactly, and she might not have the answers, but you deserve to find out. Don’t let life pass you by because you’re scared of what might happen if you take the chance. Not all of us are blessed to live as long as we’d like. So take what you have, live with what you have, and see if she is for you.”
Murphy’s stomach clenched at the reminder of exactly why they were in these damn chairs to begin with. He honestly didn’t know what he was going to do about Tessa, but he couldn’t spend so much time and energy worrying in the dark over what could amount to nothing….and everything.
Before either of them could say anything else, however, a petite blonde woman with a tiny baby bump and a bright smile walked into the treatment room. Though Murphy had never seen her before, between the bright smiles on both her and Max’s faces, he knew exactly who this woman was.
“Abby,” Max breathed, reaching out for his fiancée.
“I know I said I’d be here later, but they said I was allowed to bring you lunch, and I wanted to eat with you rather than alone in the waiting room.” She smiled again at Max before turning to Murphy. “And you must be Murphy. It’s so nice to finally meet you after hearing such great things from Max.”
Murphy chuckled. “Glad he only told you the good things.”
She waved him off and grinned. “He’s a great guy like that.”
“Nice to meet you, too, Abby. Max has told me so many great things about you, as well.” And he wasn't just lying to make her feel better. Max went on and on about how amazing Abby was and how much he was looking forward to their upcoming child and marriage. These two were seriously perfect for each other, and while Murphy could have felt a little jealous, he knew that no one deserved this more than Max. Maybe it was time for Murphy to figure out his own future. He’d spent so much time recently trying to figure out exactly who he was in a life where he had a future that he’d forgotten to live his present. Or maybe it wasn’t as deep as all of that and he was just too much of a coward to do anything about Tessa.
Abby took a free chair next to Max, and the two of them talked quietly while eating their lunch. Murphy, meanwhile, leaned his head back and waited for his blood transfusion to be done. Thankfully, there weren’t that many people in the clinic that morning, so Abby wouldn’t have to sit on a folding chair, and Murphy wanted to give them as much privacy as possible since his treatment would be done far sooner than Max’s.
“Murphy?”
He opened his eyes, unaware that he’d actually fallen asleep while waiting for his transfusion to be over. “Tessa?” He had to be dreaming because he had never seen her at the clinic before. She stood in front of him, two to-go cups of coffee in her hands, and a weary expression on her face.
“Hey. I came to drop off coffee for Liz since she and I talked this morning.” She clamped her mouth shut at her words, and Murphy knew from the blush in her cheeks and the heat in his groin that they were both thinking about what else had happened that morning. Since this wasn’t exactly the place or the time to talk about the shower incident, Murphy was grateful when she brushed right over that uncomfortable subject and continued her other train of thought. “Since I was here, I figured I should bring a decaf latte for you, as well. I noticed you have been drinking decaf instead of regular at the house, so I didn’t know if that was just your favorite thing, or if you couldn’t have caffeine right now. Either way, I have a regular and a decaf latte. I’ll take whichever one you don’t want. But I figured since I was here, I should bring something for you, too.”
Murphy smiled and waved her over to the empty seat on the other side of him. “I'm trying to cut back on my caffeine while I'm on treatment, though I don't necessarily have to. So, thank you for the latte. I'm going to drink all of it right now.” He winked, trying to bring everything back to normal. It wasn’t easy, however, when she was so close that he could smell the peach scent of her shampoo and bodywash. Now he smelled like peaches, too, since he’d used her body wash that morning. He’d brought in his own shampoo but had forgotten soap. Now, every time he scented peaches, he was going to get hard.
It would be hell.
She smiled at him, and Murphy caught Max’s wink out of the corner of his eye.
Yep, Murphy thought, I am in trouble.