FIVE
MATTHEW
IF ONE MORE OLD LADY IN A MUUMUU FLIRTED WITH ME, I was going to have to wash my eyes out with acid and take a bath in bleach. They were worse than gawking horny old men, and for once, I was the one being treated like a piece of meat they wanted to gum to death.
The way they shuffled down the halls with their slippers sliding across the fresh floors I mopped on a daily basis. After so many days of that, it got to be annoying. I was never close to my grandparents, even though they had left me everything they had, so I had no idea how to deal with elderly people. They kind of freaked me out. To be around people so close to death really put things in perspective.
My mom, even though she ran many charity events for the local hospitals and nursing homes in the area, was the same when it came to caring for people or cleaning up after them. It wasn’t for us. If anything, people cleaned up after us, and we both knew when the time came that she would be well cared for by an in-home nurse. I wasn’t stupid, though; I knew not everyone could afford that.
So there I was, cleaning after people less fortunate because I was stupid enough to drink and drive. I didn’t have to like it. I just had to do it, and so I did.
Thankfully, I wasn’t wiping old asses. I didn’t think I could bear to see a bunch of wrinkled people naked. Instead, I was cleaning up after the elderly residents of the Twin Oaks Nursing home. I would be doing so for two months. It was what I had to do if I wanted to stay out of jail.
In due time, things in my life would return to normal again, but until then, I played the hand I was dealt, which meant sweeping crumbs and mopping up piss accidents.
Two months of that place was going to make me pull my fucking hair out. It was boring beyond belief, and the days dragged. Needless to say, when I became friends with Jermaine, the lead custodian, I was thrilled to have someone to talk to who wasn’t old enough to remember the Civil War.
“Fuck you, man, I didn’t say I wanted to stick it to Ester. I was saying I saw a picture of her when she was young, and she was hot back in the day,” he said.
He was sitting on the countertop swinging his short legs. His khaki uniform was smudged from cleaning all day. He scratched at his tight cornrows and tossed a chip into his mouth.
“Seriously. She was something to look at, man.”
I laughed.
We were on our second unauthorized break today, lounging in the kitchen area.
“It’s hard to believe any of these people were ever young. I couldn’t imagine living like this.”
He shrugged. “It’s not so bad. At least they’re content and fed properly. A lot of these people don’t have families. Imagine dying alone. This place keeps them from that lonely ending while making sure they’re as comfortable as possible.”
Stuffing a cracker into my mouth, I chased it with a drink of my Pepsi. “Yeah, I guess so. All I know is, I hope I don’t live long enough to need someone to wipe my ass.”
“Amen to that. My wife knows to put me out of my misery if I ever get to a point where I can’t care for myself.”
I nodded. “Agreed. How long have you been married?”
“Fifteen years and two beautiful daughters. Twelve and fourteen.”
“Ouch. You’re in the fun years. Teenage drama and all that.”
“Don’t I know it. Imagine living in a house with three hormonal women. There are days when I want to keep driving after work, but I love them. They’re my world.”
“Whatever works. I couldn’t imagine living with the same woman for fifteen years. I get bored after fifteen hours.”
We laughed, and he shook his head.
“The trick is to find the one you can’t go fifteen hours without. When that shit happens, you get all messed up. Before you know it, you’re buying rings and talking about the future. “
I snorted. “Nah. I’m good. I’ll leave that family shit to you and the rest of them. It’s not for me.”
“If you say so.” He looked down at his phone and shoved it back into his pocket. “Shit. It’s time to get back to the front. This place ain’t going to clean itself.”
I was exhausted.
The last thing I wanted to do was more cleaning, but it made the time go by faster.
We left the kitchen and walked toward the front of the building. Before getting back to work, we stopped at the front desk to check the cleaning schedule. I was looking over the sheet when Jermaine nudged me.
“There she is, man,” he said, poking me with his meaty arm.
I looked around, unsure of who he was talking about.
“Who?”
He nodded in the direction behind me. “Her. She comes in here like once or twice a week. All curves and pretty green eyes.”
I turned around and saw the girl from Lilly’s party walking toward us. A grin pulled at my lips. I had hoped I would run into her again, and there she was, turning down the exact hallway I was supposed to be headed toward.
“You think she’s hot?” I asked.
I’m not sure why it mattered, but knowing another man thought she was sexy was important to me. Almost like it made it okay for me to be attracted to a woman with a little extra meat on her bones.
“Hell, yeah. Look at her ass and curves. I have a thing for thick women. More cushion for the pushin’,” he joked.
I shook my head.
“But I think she might like women, too. Every time I try to talk to her, she blows me off.”
I shoved him in the arm. “Dude, why are you chasing women? You’re married with kids.”
“I wasn’t. I was just trying to talk to her, but she wouldn’t give me the time of day.”
I sniffed. “Speak for yourself. She’ll talk to me. I’ll get her to,” I said confidently.
And I could.
Of that, I was sure.
Jermaine laughed. “You’re full of shit, Matt. She wouldn’t give you the time of day either.”
A challenge.
Why was I so into being challenged?
It was like all the other corrupt things I was into.
Racing my car on the interstate.
Gambling.
Anything that gave me a rush.
“Five hundred bucks says I can,” I bet.
He looked at me like I was stupid. “Hell, no. That’s a week’s pay, and I have a family to support.”
“What’s wrong? Afraid I’ll win?”
“No. I’m not stupid enough to take chances with my rent money. Not everyone has Momma footing the bill.”
I sighed.
“Fine. Loser mops the main hall?”
He laughed. “Now that’s a bet I can wrap my head around.”