Chapter Six
A few days later, it was Karen, one of the ER nurses, who destroyed Cait’s resolve to stay away from Kincaid’s Pub. She wasn’t about to hang around the place, hoping a man had nothing better to do than meet her there, nor did she think Monica’s plan to make him jealous by way of another pub customer was a good idea. So she’d skip it.
“How’s your mom?” Karen had asked when they crossed paths in the ER. They’d struck up a casual friendship during the short windows of standing around and grabbed coffee together a few times.
“A little better, I guess. But she’s getting more dependent on me now, instead of herself, so I’m starting to think moving back home was a bad idea.”
“There’s no way to guess the right thing to do when it comes to family. How are you doing?”
Cait shrugged. “It’s been six months and I’m starting to feel like this is my life now. Like, not my temporary life, you know?”
“You need to get out and have some fun. I’m picking up a shift for Lydia at the pub Saturday night. You should stop in and have a beer. And some nachos.”
Cait knew Lydia Hunt was the owner’s daughter. And she was married to Aidan Hunt and her brother was Scott Kincaid. Both guys were assigned to Engine 59, out of the same house as Gavin. Same tour schedule, even, since they’d been on the scene when she and Gavin delivered the baby in the hallway.
She’d forgotten that Karen sometimes worked the bar at the pub. She’d done it more often before she became a wife and mother, but a few times a month she liked giving dad and baby some bonding time and herself some adult interaction outside of the hospital.
“Come on,” Karen pushed. “One night out. Your mom is a grown woman and your brother is a teenager.”
“It’s not them. It’s me, really. I’m just tired and it seems like so much work to dress up a little and do more than put my hair in a ponytail.”
“That’s exactly why you need a night out. You’re getting into a rut and, from the sound of it, a pretty deep one. I’ll tell them to put extra cheese on your nachos.”
And that’s how she came to be walking into Kincaid’s Pub alone on Saturday night.
Karen spotted her right away and waved her over to an empty seat on the back side of the massive bar. Two older men were sitting at the far end, and there were a few customers watching the big TV on the wall. There were a lot more customers than she’d expected sitting at the tables, too.
“I was starting to wonder if you were going to come.”
“So was I, but Mom finally started the process of packing up some of Duke’s things to donate and...it was an emotional day and I had to get out of there.”
“What’ll you have?”
“Whatever you recommend, and nachos.” She grinned, already feeling lighter than she had in a long time. “With extra cheese, please.”
While Karen poured her beer, Cait looked around the place. She saw a few faces she recognized enough so she could probably strike up a conversation if the mood to be sociable struck her.
At the far end, past the tables, was an alcove. A guy was standing in the opening, holding a pool cue and laughing at somebody in the room. When he turned his head, she recognized Rick Gullotti, Gavin’s lieutenant. He must have recognized her, too, because he smiled and waved. She waved back as Karen set down her beer.
“It’s pretty busy tonight,” Karen said. “I’ll be doing drive-by conversations, so I’m sorry in advance.”
“No problem. It feels good just to be out of the house.”
It was true. She didn’t mind sitting alone, relaxing with a beer and the low chatter of people who weren’t looking to her for anything they needed.
But she couldn’t help but wonder if Gavin was in that back room. Maybe playing pool. Bent over the table, his jeans hugging his ass while he concentrated on lining up his shot.
Damn. Cait gulped her beer, hoping it would cool her off. That had certainly escalated quickly.
Earlier, she’d decided against texting him to let him know she’d be there. If he wanted to get together with her for a drink, he could make the time for her. But she regretted it now, because all she could think about was whether or not he was in that alcove, but she couldn’t come up with a good excuse to look. She could say hello to Rick, she supposed, and if he was in there, some of the other firefighters probably were, too.
But the lightning rounds of conversation with Karen gave her an excuse not to work up the courage, and then she had nachos she didn’t want getting cold.
She had a mouthful of extra cheesy goodness when the door opened and Gavin walked in. The way he turned toward the bar immediately and spotted her made her wonder if he’d known she was there. Managing not to choke, she chewed faster and was able to wash down the nachos with a swig of beer before he reached the empty stool next to her.
“Is this seat taken?”
“Help yourself.” She played it cool—she hoped—because if he had come there to see her, she wasn’t going to make it easy on him. “Nice place.”
“The best. I’m glad you decided to check it out.”
“I ran into Karen at the ER and she told me she was working tonight and invited me to stop by.”
Something flickered in his expression and she knew he’d gotten her point. She was there because of Karen’s invitation, not his.
His phone, which he’d set on the bar, buzzed. He picked it up and sent a quick text and, although he tilted the screen slightly away from her, she had excellent peripheral vision and was able to read an earlier text in the conversation.
Your EMT’s sitting at the bar. Alone.
Averting her gaze as heat crept up her neck, Cait picked up a chip and dredged it through cheese sauce. Then she waited until he set his phone down to pop it in her mouth so, no matter what he said next, she’d have as much time to answer as it took her to chew and swallow. And she chewed slowly.
Somebody had sent him a text message letting him know she was there. Somebody in the pub right now. And that meant somebody knew he was interested in running into her again.
It was the opposite of telling her he’d join her if he was free and she had no idea what to make of it.
Your EMT...
“You okay?”
Once she’d swallowed and was sure she wouldn’t say something stupid, like asking about the text message, she nodded. “Yeah, why?”
“I don’t know. You seem quiet tonight. I mean, not that you’ve talked to me a lot, but... I don’t know. You seem quiet. Rough day?”
“I’ve had worse.” She sighed, giving in to the weariness instead of expending energy she didn’t have on maintaining the illusion everything was awesome. “But I’ve had better, too.”
“You want to talk about it?”
She didn’t, really. It was nice that he recognized that she’d had a bad day—that he really saw her—and that he cared, but she didn’t want to verbally wallow in it.
But Gavin may as well know right up front that she wasn’t a fun party girl looking for a good time. She had responsibilities—hers and her mother’s—and it would no doubt be a fast way to put an end to the confusing chemistry between them. So she gave him an abridged version of her current situation, starting with Duke’s death and her moving home, and ending with her mother sitting in the middle of her bedroom, crying into a pile of Duke’s shirts.
“Has she talked to a professional?” he asked when she was done.
“She saw a therapist twice, but then refused to go back. She said talking about Duke was too hard and no amount of discussing it would make it hurt less.” She shrugged. “Honestly, I was surprised she went at all. I pushed the subject, but I can’t make her do it.”
“I’m sorry it’s rough on you, but family means everything, so it’s good that you’re there for her. And good for your mom. Letting go has to be hard, but it’ll probably help her move on.”
Cait wasn’t so sure, but she didn’t want to spend the little time she had with Gavin talking about her family. Again. They’d pretty much taken over her life and become the only thing she had to talk about anymore.
And instead of looking at the time on his phone or giving some other sign he wanted to run for the hills, he actually turned toward her on the stool, leaning his elbow on the bar.
“You have to take care of yourself, though, too.”
He actually sounded interested. And even a little concerned. “There’s not a lot of time or energy left for me. Maybe that’s why these taste like the best nachos I’ve ever had.”
“What about some girlfriends? Maybe you could have one of those girls’-night-out things or whatever.”
“We’ve talked about it. But, to be honest, I want to relax more than I want to go out and have fun.” His brow furrowed, and she realized she was being a drag, but it felt so good to admit out loud how much of a drain it was. “I’m sorry. It’s just...hard. I love my mother and my brother, but being back home is hard. There’s only one bathroom. And only one television which, to be honest, might be even worse than only having one bathroom. And they filled my old room with so much crap, I feel like I’m sleeping in a storage unit.”
“If you need a night away, just say the word. Mi casa es su casa.”
She appreciated the effort—whether it was a kindness or an attempt to get her alone at his place—but he didn’t get it. A night out would be nice, but what she really wanted was space. Quiet. She wanted to be alone. “I’ll keep it in mind.”
“I’m serious. You can come over and I’ll show you where everything is and how to use the remote control, and then I’ll go crash at Grant’s for the night. You can watch whatever you want. I’ve got menus for every delivery place in driving distance. And you can take a long bubble bath—uh, bring your own bubble stuff, though—or read or just sit on the couch and do nothing. It’s a pretty decent couch.”
Cait stilled, letting his words sink in. He was trying to get her alone. Literally. “I... Are you serious? You’ll just let me have your apartment for a night?”
“Sure. It’s not that big of a deal. Wouldn’t be the first night I’ve spent on Grant’s couch.”
It was that big of a deal. Maybe not to him but, right now and in this place in her life, it was everything to Cait. The idea of a night all to herself almost made her cry, but there was no way she was shedding tears in front of Gavin. “You’re not afraid I’ll snoop around and find your secret porn stash?”
His eyes widened for a second, and then his expression settled into a look that Cait’s grandmother would have called cheeky. “Are porn stashes supposed to be a secret? I can write the passcode for my laptop down on a sticky note for you before I go if you want.”
He was joking, of course. And even if he wasn’t, there was no way she could say that, yes, she’d like the passcode for his laptop. But damn, she was curious about what turned Gavin on. What images on that laptop screen would make his heart rate increase and his dick harden until he wrapped his fingers around it, stroking the hard length until he found release.
And, shit, just like that, she could feel the heat turning her neck and cheeks red, and she looked away. Taking a sip of her beer, she cursed silently at the predicament she’d gotten herself into.
Tony had been right. She did want Gavin Boudreau to rub her the right way.
* * *
With Cait’s pale skin framed by her dark hair, Gavin couldn’t miss her blush and his own blood heated in response. Of course, he was probably blushing a little himself, since he wasn’t used to joking about porn collections with a woman.
He realized she’d had her hair up at the market the same as when she was working, so this was the first time he’d ever seen her like this, with her long hair down. It was thick and straight, and he was tempted to bury his hand in it to see if it was as heavy as it looked. He didn’t, since they hadn’t reached that point yet.
And he was still coming to grips with there even being a yet—that he really did want to get to know Cait that well.
He was sincere in his offer. He’d let her chill in his apartment for a night and he’d crash at Grant’s. It was no big deal.
But he already knew he’d be lying awake tonight, imagining showing her around his apartment. Then, when it was time for him to go, she’d wrap her arms around his neck and whisper that maybe he should just stay instead. And he’d finally get to feel that soft mouth of hers under his.
“But seriously,” he said, wanting to get the conversation back on track before he went too far and said something stupid. He didn’t want to give her an excuse to leave. “If you need some peace and quiet, just let me know. I mean it.”
“Thanks.” She took a deep breath, the pink fading from her skin. “Am I keeping you from playing pool with the guys or anything? I’m sure you came here to hang out with them.”
He hadn’t, actually. He’d practically sprinted there when he got a text telling him she was there. Alone. At the bar.
But if he told her that, he’d have to explain why the guys in the pool room would think he was interested in knowing Cait was there. And he still didn’t know if she was aware of the Snapchat incident. She hadn’t mentioned it at breakfast or tonight, but it would probably be as awkward for her to talk about as it was for him.
“I’d rather sit here with you, if it’s all right.”
She smiled, her eyes crinkling with warmth. “Of course it’s all right. And we’ve talked about my family, but you haven’t told me about yours yet.”
“I live within walking distance of the house I grew up in and my parents still live there. My sister and her husband and their two kids live a couple of miles away. We’re all close, so there’s not much to say, I guess. There’s enough distance so we’re not in each other’s business unless we want to be, but close enough so we can have a family dinner when the mood strikes us.”
“And how often does the mood strike?”
“Whenever my mom says it does.”
She laughed and he let himself drink in the sound. If he had his way, she’d laugh a lot more often.
In his peripheral vision, he saw two heads pop out of the pool alcove like nosy groundhogs. It looked like Aidan and Scott, but he didn’t turn his head to get a better look. Cait didn’t seem to notice them and, after a few seconds, they went back to whatever they were doing. Probably talking about him and Cait, and planning whatever harassment they were going to throw his way next tour.
He didn’t care. Putting the guys out of his mind, he focused all of his attention on the beautiful woman sitting next to him.
They talked about music—country was her favorite, while he’d rather listen to nails screeching down a chalkboard. But she listened to a lot of different music and conceded his classic rock wasn’t so bad. He liked horror movies. She liked comedies and disaster movies. They agreed action movies were a good compromise.
She loved books. He didn’t, quite so much, maybe because he’d been better at math in school, while reading had been a struggle. But he liked finding odd and interesting articles online to read on his phone, and they shared some of the more bizarre things they’d read on the internet.
When the conversation slowed and her second mug of beer was almost gone, Gavin knew Cait would probably leave soon. And he didn’t want to let her go without having some kind of a plan for seeing her again.
“I’ve been racking my brain since we had breakfast,” he finally said, “and I can’t come up with a good excuse for asking for your contact info other than I’d really like to be able to call you or shoot you a text.”
Her mouth curled into a smile. “That’s generally why most people ask for somebody’s contact info.”
“Yeah, but I don’t have a valid reason for needing to call or text you, other than...you know.” He didn’t usually suck so hard at this. At least he didn’t think he did.
“I’ll give you mine if you give me yours,” she said, and his brain had all kinds of fun with that one.
Luckily, nothing stupid or super cheesy came out of his mouth, and he unlocked his phone to pull up the contacts.
“It’s C-A-I-T,” she said, and he deleted the K-A to fix it. “Trust me, I get that a lot.”
“I like it.”
She shrugged. “My dad loved the name Kate, but my mom thought it was boring. That was the compromise, though I guess he kind of won, since it sounds the same.”
“You are not boring. And neither is your name.” He handed her the phone so she could put in her cell number, and took hers so he could do the same.
He was so focused on hoping none of the smart-asses in the pool room sent him a text while she had his phone, he almost screwed up his number, but they got it done and the phones switched back before they could accidentally embarrass him with shitty timing.
“It’s getting late, so I’m going to head home,” she said, and he felt a wave of disappointment. He could sit and talk to her for hours.
But, based on his last glance at the time, he already had. And she’d had an emotional day with her mom. “I could walk you home.”
The two of them leaving together would not go unnoticed by the other guys, but he didn’t really care. It was a way to spend a little more time with her. And, maybe, if he didn’t screw it up, get a kiss goodnight on her doorstep.
“No, I’m good. You stay in here where it’s warm and I’ll see you around.”
She stood up, but after a moment’s hesitation, he decided not to. It would only make the saying goodbye more awkward. “Will you text me to let me know you got home okay?”
“Maybe.” She picked up the coat she’d draped over the back of her stool. “If I’m free.”
Ouch. He stood up after all, taking the coat and holding it so she could slide her arms in. “What I meant to say that day was that I’d like to meet you here, but I work twenty-four-hour shifts, so we’d have to figure out a time we both have off. It came out wrong.”
She zipped her coat and turned to face him, tilting her head back. “A little bit.”
“Totally wrong.” They were so close, he could kiss her and screw what anybody in the bar thought.
Her lips parted slightly, and he stared at them for a few seconds. He didn’t think she cared what anybody in the bar thought at that moment, either.
“Hey, Cait, you heading out?”
The moment was lost, and Gavin slid back onto his stool when Cait turned to face Karen, who had the world’s worst timing.
“Yeah, it’s getting late,” she said. “For me, anyway. I’ll probably stop by again, though. Everybody’s right about this place.”
“Yeah, don’t be a stranger.”
Cait said goodnight and then turned back to Gavin. “Goodnight.”
“I’ll talk to you soon,” he said, and then forced himself to look at his beer rather than watch her walk away, considering how that had turned out last time.
He almost made it. She was almost to the door when he looked up, fighting the urge to run after her and get that goodnight kiss. Because he was looking, he saw her pause and look back at him. After another quick smile, she pushed open the door and left.
Two seconds later, his phone chimed with a text message from Scott, continuing the group chat. Gentlemen walk ladies home, dumbass.
A gentleman respects the lady’s wishes, asshole.
Turned you down? Somebody get a hose because Boudreau’s going down in flames.
He looked up to see if any of them had stepped out from the pool room so he could flip them off, but they were probably huddled around Scott’s phone, laughing at him. Suck my hose, Kincaid.
They for sure laughed then, since everybody in the bar could hear it. Rather than join them, he signaled Karen for another beer and read the closed captioning of a guy on the TV screen dissecting the last Celtics game.
Finally, his phone chimed. I’m home.
Thank you. Goodnight. He added a smiley face emoji at the end.
She sent one back.
It wasn’t as good as a kiss goodnight, but Gavin smiled as he pulled out his wallet to pay his tab. It was a start.