Chapter Seven
On Tuesday afternoon, Chris Eriksson bellowed to Gavin, who was three-quarters of the way through a magazine article, “Boudreau, you have a visitor.”
Even though he didn’t care about turkey hunting, he was annoyed at the interruption and wanted to finish, just because he’d started it. It was a slow day, with a light drizzle that wasn’t quite cold enough to freeze over and cause problems so he’d been that bored. But his first thought was Cait, so he tossed the magazine on the table.
It wouldn’t be her. She was probably working today since she had the weekend off. But that didn’t stop him from double-timing it down the stairs to the apparatus bay.
It wasn’t Cait. It was her younger brother. Or half brother, anyway, not that it mattered. Carter, of the Snapchat incident.
“Hey, Carter,” he said, reaching out to shake the boy’s hand.
“You remember me?”
Of course he did. They were still giving him shit about the picture Carter had taken and shared, even though it had disappeared. If they knew it had disappeared into his bag and then to his house, they’d really lay it on. But he let them assume it had gone out with the garbage.
“Yeah, you’re Cait’s brother. What’s up?”
The kid shifted his weight, looking anxious. “I heard my sister talking to my mom about the fire. You know, the one with the truck that crashed into the house? They think I don’t hear anything because of my earbuds, but it’s not like they’re noise-canceling or anything. They’re just cheap ones because I shove the wires in my pocket all the time and they don’t last very long.”
Gavin just nodded, since he still wasn’t sure what the kid wanted. And he had that same problem with earbud wires, too.
“Anyway, she said you were ordered out of the building and you wouldn’t leave her, even when she told you to go.”
“I shouldn’t have disobeyed orders, because orders and rules help keep us safe,” Gavin responded, because he really did believe that, regardless of his actions. “But there was no way I was leaving Cait in there alone. Or the little boy. And, to keep it real, they didn’t really expect me to.”
Carter shifted his weight from one foot to the other. “I just wanted to say thank you, I guess. In person. If something happened to Cait, my mom... I don’t know. Without Cait, our lives would be total shit right now.”
There was a lot of emotion and half-information in the kid’s words, and Gavin really wanted the other half. But pumping Cait’s brother for info about her personal life would be a douche move. “Just doing my job, kid.”
“Except the part where your job was to evacuate the building like you were told.”
“Well...yeah.” The big, old-fashioned clock hanging on the back wall caught Gavin’s eye. “How come you’re not in school?”
“My last block’s a study hall, so I signed out early.”
“Your mom know you’re here?”
Carter gave him a seriously, dude? look. “I’m sixteen.”
“I’m pretty good at math, so that’s still two years shy of not having to tell anybody where you are.” Not that Gavin hadn’t roamed far and wide as a teenager, but in today’s weather, it seemed weird that Carter would just roam around the neighborhood.
Also, when had he turned into the old guy who hassled teenagers?
“I just wanted to say thanks and it’s on my way home,” the kid mumbled. “That’s all.”
“I’m glad I was there with her. She wasn’t going to leave the little boy, so all I had to do was keep an eye on her until they got us out.”
“She’s pretty awesome.”
Gavin couldn’t stop the corners of his mouth from turning up in a smile. “Yeah, she is.”
The teen gave him a mildly questioning look, and then shrugged. “I gotta go. But thanks.”
“No problem. You okay out in the weather?” A snort was the answer he got, along with a quick wave as Carter hit the sidewalk. “See you later.”
Once he was gone, Gavin figured he could go back upstairs and finish the article he had no interest in. Or he could take advantage of having an excuse—no matter how flimsy—to finally make use of Cait’s number.
It wasn’t much of a competition. He pulled out his phone, figuring if she was busy, she’d text him back when she got a chance. Hey, Carter just stopped by to say hi and talk about the fire for a sec.
He should be in school.
That was fast. Study hall.
It was a minute before her response came back. We’re a couple blocks away and nothing’s happening. Will stop by.
He hadn’t expected that. And even as excitement at the thought of seeing her rose up, he worried she was pissed off. About what, he didn’t know, since he hadn’t done anything.
A few minutes later, the ambulance pulled up out front and Cait climbed down. Even in her uniform, which didn’t fit her quite as well as old jeans and sweaters, she was gorgeous and he couldn’t hold back the smile.
“Hi,” he said, but then fell silent because she didn’t smile back.
“Hi. Was Carter okay?”
“Sure. A little damp, which means he was probably cold, but he was okay.”
“No, I mean...like, emotionally. Was he okay? It seems weird for him to come talk to you about the fire.”
“He wanted to thank me for being there with you, and he said it’s on the way home.”
“Kind of, but not really.” She frowned, then blew out a hard breath. “It seems weird.”
“Teenage boys are weird. Maybe he was just curious about me since I was there with you.” And because he’d been checking out her ass, to the amusement of Carter’s Snapchat friends. “I wouldn’t read too much into it, Cait.”
“I can’t help it. It’s hard to tell what’s normal teenage boy and what might be a sign he’s struggling emotionally.”
“Maybe he needs an outlet.”
“I’ve tried to get him to talk to somebody. He blew smoke up the school psychologist’s ass, so that went nowhere. And private therapy’s expensive as hell.”
He shook his head. “I’m not talking about therapy. I’m talking about a physical outlet. And some... I don’t know. Some guy stuff.”
“If guy stuff is some kind of euphemism for sex or getting him a hooker or something, I’m going to kick you in the balls.”
“No, I’m not talking about hiring a prostitute for your sixteen-year-old brother. Jesus, Cait.”
“Oh. So guy stuff means...what, exactly?”
“I don’t know. He needs to shoot some hoops or hit the gym. Sweat. Talk some shit. Say some bad words. Work through his emotions and shit.”
“I think talking to a professional is better for working through emotions than dropping the f-bomb during a basketball game.”
“Okay. Tell me again how that worked out for him.” She gave him quite a look and he immediately put up his hands. “Sorry. I’m sorry, Cait. I didn’t mean for that to come out the way it did.”
“I’m doing the best I can. I just... I don’t know how to help him.”
“You’re doing amazing, Cait. They’re lucky to have you, and I mean that. But he’s a teenage boy. It’s hard to blow off steam when you live with your mom and your big sister, you know? Does he go out much?”
She shook her head. “Not really. Most of his interactions with his friends seem to be on his phone or on the headset he uses for his video game. Sometimes I make up chores I need done just so he gets up and moves around and doesn’t become one with the couch.”
“I play basketball on Saturday mornings sometimes. Just a casual pickup game we’ve been doing for years at a gym within walking distance. It only has a half-court, but it works for us. He could go with me. See if he likes it.”
“I don’t know how good he is. He used to shoot hoops in the driveway with some neighborhood kids, but I don’t know if he’s ever played a real game. And I haven’t even seen him touch a basketball at all since I moved back in.”
“He’ll be fine.”
“I don’t want him to drag down your game.”
He laughed. “It’s pickup ball, not the NBA. We’re there to have some fun and blow off some steam.”
“If you’re sure you don’t mind. But I don’t know if he’d even want to go, honestly. He’d have to put his phone down for five minutes.”
“Ask him tonight and if he’s interested, give him my number and we’ll figure it out. You can call me and let me know how it goes.” If she called instead of texting, he’d get to hear her voice. Normally he didn’t like talking when texting would suffice, but for her, it was different.
Her partner honked the horn and, when she turned, gave her a come on wave. “Gotta go. I’ll let you know.”
“Be safe.”
She nodded. “You, too, Gavin.”
He watched them pull away, and he was still basking in the afterglow of seeing Cait when Danny Walsh spoke behind him. “Getting involved with her family might not be a great idea at this point.”
Gavin had no idea how long Engine 59’s LT had been in the bay, but he’d obviously heard some of the conversation. “It’s pickup basketball. And the kid stopped by, so what was I supposed to do?”
“If you start hanging out with the kid and his big sister doesn’t let you in her pants, you still going to play pickup ball with him?”
“Wow. You really think I’m an asshole?”
Walsh shook his head. “I don’t think you’re an asshole. But family members add layers and complications, so if you’re looking for a quick hookup, don’t get too involved with her brother is all I’m saying.”
“I like her.”
That’s all he said, but it was enough to make the other guy nod. “Good. I don’t know her all that well, but I hope it works out for you.”
Gavin wasn’t sure what works out meant to the LT, but if it meant getting to see Cait off-hours again—getting to talk to her and hear her laugh—then he definitely hoped so, too.
* * *
Her mom was having a rough day. Cait had known from the minute she walked into the house and smelled the pot roast in the slow cooker that there would be tears.
Pot roast with potatoes and carrots and her mom’s gravy had been Duke’s favorite meal, and she hadn’t made it since he died. But it was also Carter’s favorite and he’d been after her for a few weeks to make it, as she often did during the cold months.
And now it was going to be a shit show because her mom was emotional. And Carter would feel guilty that he’d asked for the pot roast, while no doubt also feeling resentment that he couldn’t have his favorite meal because his dad had died.
She wasn’t wrong. Most of the dinner went in the garbage because watching their mother move food around on her plate while sniffling had killed Cait and Carter’s appetites. And her brother had disappeared as soon as he was given the okay—not just to the living room, but to his bedroom, where he slammed the door with enough force so Cait winced.
Yeah, fun times at the Hill house.
Sometimes her mother wanted to talk about her feelings, but tonight was one of her silent moods. With tears shimmering in her eyes and her lips pinched tightly, she just wanted to clean things and be left alone.
Cait was okay with that. But before she could go hide in her room, she decided to check on Carter. When she knocked on his door, she got no answer and sighed. Taking out her phone, she sent him a text.
Take out your earbuds so you can hear me knock. Or just open the door.
He opened the door a few seconds later and then flung himself on his bed, the earbuds strung around his neck still blaring some music that made Cait’s teeth ache.
“You didn’t eat much.”
“Neither did you.”
“Busted.” She leaned against the doorjamb. “It’ll get easier, Carter. Things come up that Mom has to work through, so it feels like it’s not, but it is getting better.”
“Whatever.”
“No, not whatever. You’re allowed to love pot roast. And when she gets like that, maybe it’s even more important that you let her see that you still love pot roast. She’ll be stronger for you, but you walk away and she doesn’t see it.”
“She used to laugh all the time.”
Cait’s heart squeezed for him. “She will again. I promise. And sometimes, maybe if you laugh, she’ll laugh with you.”
For a long moment, she didn’t think he was listening, but then he nodded slowly. “I’m just sick of being sad and she makes me sad so I don’t want to be around it. You know?”
Yes, she definitely knew. “All I can do is tell you that it’s okay for you to be happy, and that Mom will figure out how to be happy again, too.”
“There was a movie on the other night and I was going to ask her if she wanted to watch it because we all laughed our asses off at it, but I knew she’d remember how much Dad loved it and cry through the whole thing.”
“Then you watch it and you laugh and you remember how much you loved watching it with your dad. Your feelings are your own, Carter.”
She heard a movement and looked down the hall to see her mom standing there. There were tears running down her cheeks and Cait had to assume she’d heard most of that. She braced herself for a meltdown, but her mom just gave her a sad smile and crept back down the stairs.
Cait turned her attention back to her brother. “I heard you stopped by Gavin’s firehouse today.”
“So?”
She blinked at this tone. “It wasn’t an accusation, Carter. Just making conversation about your day.”
“I was going by and wanted to meet him. And say thank you for being there with you, I guess. Are you mad?”
“Of course not. I just want to make sure you’re okay about what happened. Stuff like that hardly ever happens to me, you know.” She was in more danger on a daily basis from drug users, angry drunks and domestic calls, but she didn’t think it was a good time to mention that.
“I know. I was just... He likes you, you know.”
“What?” That was one hell of a conversational curveball.
“That firefighter. Gavin. He likes you.”
She hoped so, though she wasn’t sure she needed her teenage brother up in her business. But she couldn’t help herself. “What makes you think that?”
“He said you’re awesome. And, like I said, he was checking out your a—uh, butt, at the market.”
“No, he wasn’t.”
“I tried to show you this then, but you took my phone away.” He unlocked his phone and for a few seconds, she thought he was just ending their conversation. But then he held it up so she could see the screen. It was a picture of Gavin, most definitely checking out her butt. And it was captioned.
“Uh, Carter. That’s a Snapchat caption. Did you send this to anybody?”
He shrugged. “Just a few friends. It wasn’t like public or anything.”
“Isn’t one of your friends a firefighter’s daughter?” How many people had actually seen it?
“Yeah, but she just said LOL. It’s not like anybody really cares the guy was checking you out.”
But the caption made it clear the guy was a firefighter, so maybe the girl had shared it with her dad for laughs. And Cait didn’t know who her dad was, but she knew it was a small community and it wouldn’t take long before Gavin knew about it. Or saw it himself.
“Men are always checking out women’s butts,” she said. “It means nothing. And don’t share pictures like that online. Privacy, dude.”
“Whatever.”
“Anyway, Gavin asked me if you’d want to play some pickup basketball with him on Saturday mornings. To get out of the house.”
“The guy’s game is so weak he has to be nice to me to get at you?”
“No. It’s not like that.” At least she didn’t think it was. Gavin’s offer had seemed sincere. And they’d already spent some time together. He had no reason to think he needed that kind of tactic to get to know her better. “He knows you’re stuck in the house with your mom and sister all the time and thought you might like to hang out with some guys. That’s all. Here’s his number if you want to text him.”
He took the scrap of paper she handed him. “Maybe. Thanks.”
She started to leave, but then stopped and turned back to him. “If you do text him, keep it on topic. Do not violate my privacy or comment on my personal life, even to be funny, okay?”
“I won’t.”
He looked like he meant it, so all she could do was hope giving him Gavin’s cell number wouldn’t come back to bite her in the ass.
Which led her right back to that Snapchat photo. As if there wasn’t enough on her plate, she had to wonder if Gavin had seen that somehow. Or worse, if the guys on his crew had seen it. He hadn’t mentioned it, but he probably wouldn’t, since how would that come up in conversation?
Hey, have you seen that embarrassing picture your little brother took of me checking out your butt in the market and sent to his friends?
That would be awkward.
Cait went into her bedroom-slash-storage-room and sat on the edge of her bed. She just didn’t have the energy left at the moment to go downstairs and hang out with her mom. Overhearing Cait’s conversation with Carter might lead her mom to some introspection and she did not want to interfere with any emotional lightbulb moments she might have.
She pulled out her cell phone and called her sister, instead. It had been a while since they’d talked, and she missed having Michelle close.
“Hey, Cait. Everything okay?”
“Yeah.” It seemed like an odd way to answer the phone, as if she wouldn’t just call her sister to chat. “You busy?”
“Always, but I have a couple of minutes. How are Mom and Carter?”
Cait decided not to tell her she would know how they were if she ever called or messaged them. “They’re doing okay. Good days and bad. Christmas was tough, but we’re past that now.”
“I wish I could have come home for the holidays, but you know how it is.”
“Sure.” She didn’t know what it was likeback seatbe there for family that needed her, actually.
“Is Mom any better?”
Cait caught her up on the last few weeks—how they were starting to donate Duke’s things and Carter’s grades slowly coming back up and today’s pot roast. It felt good to talk to her sister about it—to share the emotional load with another family member.
“What do you want me to do, Cait? I’m in Texas, for chrissake.”
She actually recoiled from the phone in her hand for a second. “I’m not asking you to do anything.”
“You’re telling me all these problems, which I don’t even have time for, so what is it you expect me to do?”
Listen. “Nothing. I just needed somebody to talk to for a few minutes.”
“And now we both feel like crap, but there isn’t even anything I can do about it because I’m halfway across the country. How does that help?”
Michelle was right. It wasn’t helping anybody. Especially Cait, since she was not only aggravated with her mother and her brother, but now she could add her sister to the list. “I guess you’re right. Let’s talk about Noah instead. How’s he doing?”
Her sister might not have had time to hear about their mom and brother, but she had a good twenty minutes to spare talking about her son. Cait didn’t mind. She welcomed it, actually, since it seemed like Noah was the only member of the combined Tasker-Hill family who was totally happy at the moment.
And this was temporary. Her mom was going to get her feet under her and Cait would be able to move on with her life. And when that time came, she wanted to still be on good terms with her sister. Maybe Michelle wasn’t able to be there for her now, but if Cait pushed, she wouldn’t be there for her at all.
That had always been one of the biggest differences between them. When something was a problem, Cait rolled up her sleeves and faced it head-on. Michelle put it in a box and slid it under the bed to deal with later. Or maybe never.
“Give my love to Mom and Carter,” Michelle told her as they closed out the conversation.
“Sure. Tell Paul I said hi, and kiss Noah for me.”
After they disconnected, Cait lay back on her bed and stared up the ceiling. She needed to get out of the house. It was time—well past time, actually—for her to have some Cait time.
Before she could talk herself out of it, she pulled up Gavin’s name in her contact list and hit the button to send a text message.
Were you serious about letting me use your apartment?