Chapter 35

Nicole

“Look at this, Margie. Isn’t it gorgeous?” the woman said to her friend as they stood next to the display in Blooming Love. They were studying a set of drinking glasses with one of my designs on them.

As soon as I’d returned home four months ago after visiting Mason, I’d spent the following week sketching and creating my new line of glassware. Each etched design had a different butterfly and a symbol to represent music, usually a treble clef and floating musical notes. The butterfly symbolized change, hope, and life. And, well, it wasn’t too hard to figure out what the music represented.

There had been no shortage of customers once news got out about my designs. I had recently begun selling them on Etsy and eBay, and had created a line of T-shirts too. To say I was busy was an understatement.

Being busy had been necessary if I was going to move on after leaving Mason that day at the rehab center. Except I was still waiting for my heart to realize it was time to move on. Maybe it would’ve been easier if I hadn’t designed a line of glassware that had everything to do with the man I still loved.

“Ten percent of the proceeds are donated to a charity that helps families dealing with addictions,” I told them, and gestured toward the small sign on the shelf that provided more information about it and my work.

The bell above the door jingled, and as usual I glanced over to see who had entered the store. When I saw Hailey, my eyes widened to the size of one of my glass plates. The last time I had spoken to her was a few weeks ago. She and Callie called me every so often to see how I was doing. Both avoided the topic of Mason, and I was always careful not to mention him, afraid that if I even said his name, I would break down in tears. Again.

Hailey spotted me and smiled. Unable to contain my excitement at seeing her, I rushed over and hugged her in congratulations. Nolan had proposed to her on Christmas Day. Naturally, she had said yes.

“Let me see the ring,” I gushed, and checked it out even though I had seen it when Nolan first showed it to me. It was as beautiful as I remembered. Tears of joy blurred my vision, but I didn’t care. Hailey had found love and I couldn’t have been more thrilled for her. “When’s the big day?”

“September twenty-fifth. And I’m hoping you’ll be there.”

I smiled at her but didn’t say anything. I wanted to be there for her and Nolan’s big day, but it would also be hard seeing Mason there. Possibly with a date.

“So, are you seeing anyone?” she asked, not looking at me but studying the black-and-white mural on the wall. Vinelike tendrils floated behind the large butterfly and transformed into fine lines like sheet music, complete with musical notes. I had painted it on the wall between the two shelving units containing my giftware. Below the mural was a shorter shelf with even more glassware.

I laughed. “I don’t have time to date. The store’s keeping me busy.” After much convincing on my part, Heidi and Cindy had stopped trying to set me up on dates—although my last disastrous date, which had been three months ago, might’ve had something to do with it. The part where I cried because my date was everything on my list but he wasn’t Mason could’ve had something to do with it too.

“It looks amazing.” Hailey strolled over to the giftware and checked it out. She picked up a glass serving plate. “Wow, you made these?” she asked, referring to the design etched on them.

“Yes. That’s what’s kept me so busy. But it’s been worth it.”

Without missing a beat, Hailey said, “You still love him, don’t you?”

I traced my fingertips over the butterfly and musical notes on a lavender T-shirt. “It doesn’t matter if I love him or not”—or if my heart ached every time I thought about him, which happened more often than I would’ve liked—“because he needs a woman who can handle him being away while he’s on tour. And he needs someone who loves living in L.A., not someone who is more comfortable living in a small town more than two hours from there.”

Unfortunately, even in the short time Mason had been in Desert Springs, his presence here had woven itself into every part of my day-to-day life. No matter where I went, what I did, I was bombarded by memories of him.

“I know it’s not easy,” Hailey said. “I often wish Nolan had a regular nine-to-five job. But I know how important his music is to him. It’s what got him through the years of abuse and helped him deal with his grief after his mother and sister were killed.”

“And that’s why I would never ask Mason to leave the band. Music is his life.” Which left my pathetic heart no choice but to love him from afar.

Delving deep, I finally found the courage to ask the one question I craved the answer to: “How’s he doing?” My limited knowledge about what he’d been up to since leaving rehab came from what I’d seen online, but I knew from experience that meant little, if anything.

“Much better. The guys have done everything they can to support him, and he regularly contacts the online Gamblers Anonymous and Alcoholics Anonymous support groups. The band has been selling out the few shows they’ve scheduled. The label wanted to see if they could pull off being a headlining act. They’ll be touring for another month, and then they’re off for several weeks.” She grinned, no doubt already counting down the days until Nolan was home again.

“That’s great.” All of it was. After what had happened last time, I was positive the guys would make sure he didn’t fall back into his addictions. They were family. A family who would do anything for each other.

“It is great.” She glanced down at the serving plate in her hand. “I’m buying this. It will be perfect for the wedding.” She looked back up at me, smiling. “And don’t forget I really want you to be there. Nolan and I really want you to be there.”